Wheetsin

Try being fat and the same height as most guys. It's always seemed to me (dating/dateability-wise) that it's better to be fat and short (awww, she's so cute) than to be fat and tall. And it has always seemed that fat guys have an easier time of it than fat women. I see my fat guy friends getting a lot more activity than my fat girl friends. Reasons schmeasons. And yes, those are generalizations. But that doesn't mean they can't be accurate from my perspective.

There's really no way of knowing. A lot of people are honestly and truly disgusted/repulsed by fat people. And on the other hand, when we feel bad about ourselves, we tend to assume others see it in us. Not just projection, I don't think, since most of us have some historical experiences to tell us it might actually be true.

OP I read your first post but have not read through all responses, so I hopethis is still relevant. When I had my lapband surgery in 2006 I was very open about it, but I asked my husband not to mention it to his family or his co-workers (most of whom I know). I just told him it was my story to tell,not his. Guess who he told. His why -- he was so proud of me for taking such a big step toward a better quality of life that he completely forgot. I also told my mom the same thing. Don't tell the family (I'm not close with most of my family) and... just don't tell anyone. My mom is a horrible gossip. Horrible. So I show up for a family event a few months later and one of my aunts, who I particularly cannot stand, asks, "So how's the rubber band thing your mom told me about?" Then I go to get my hair done and she has told my stylist. She "didn't think telling family would be a big deal" and told my stylist (my mom gets her hair done at the same place) because she knew someone who was thinking about getting it. Like that makes sense. I was more angry with my mom than DH but in both cases I felt that my trust/confidence had been betrayed. I told DH this time around - not a peep. And so far he hasn't. I told my mother not a peep as well, and she says, "What am I supposed to tell people if they ask?" "Tell them they'll have to ask me." It's hurtful, but it sounds like you have some other issues that might be exacerbating it. I'm reading a lot of built up tension and animosity in your message. I would make it clear to him that he has hurt you and why. His reasoning doesn't matter. He will own his mistake, or he won't. But he needs to understand that it has emotional consequences.

Subcutaneous fat softens as you lose fat mass. There is a type of fat, visceral fat, that's harder than subcutaneous fat, but it's your internal fat, not the fat in places like your calves or arms. As for mushy fat preceding fat loss, the going theory is based on fluids. The fat is lost, but Fluid replaces it. Then when the fluid exits, the "loss" suddenly becomes noticeable. (The intake of fluids also explains a lot of stall activity). Here's an article with more info in layman's terms. HTH

What does your pre-op diet consist of? There are tons of pre-op diets. Did you get a booklet or manual of things you can have? If you did, and bananas are on it, it's fine to blend them up. If they're not on a list of things you can have, you'll need to call and ask. Pre-op diets are usually used to deplete the liver of sugar stores, which makes it considerably smaller. Bananas have about 30g carbs, depending on size, so it will all depend on what your diet allows.

There's still a swallow that has to happen once the liquid is in your mouth. With both of my WLS I've been able to drink through a straw, then "ration" how much I let myself swallow at any point in time. One drag on a straw may last 3 - 4 swallows. I'm far enough post-op now thaat I can drink several mouthfuls in a row, but I was super careful in the beginning (I had to be, liquids HURT!)

Hmm... I'll start with saying I've lost about 3 years. The last time I weighed what I weigh today was around this time 2009. I don't really know how many sizes. I'm going to guess two or three. After the intiial Fluid loss (which was most of my up-front weightloss) I tend to lose about a size about every 20 lbs. I know my jeans that were snug the day before surgery will now fall off, and I can wiggle out of them with the button/zipper still done. I've lost the sense of shame & failure that hung around during the period between band out and sleeve done. According to my daughter, I've lost the baby that was in my tummy. She equates "big stomach" to having a baby in there. A few weeks ago she looked under my dress and told me the baby must've gone away (or something very similar). I've lost my rubber ducky profile.

It was frustrating. I understood what was happening fundamentally, but not in application. It still doesn't make sense. But it was something fluid, because within about 2 weeks I'd dropped about 20 lbs. Fluids in the body are heavy. Heavier than plain water, which is pretty heavy to begin with. Look at anyone who loses X pounds in their first week on the pre-op liquid diet. That's 99% fluid, and mostly from our livers. The glycogen itself is heavy, and it takes 6 - 10 lbs of water to get it moving. Look at how much people lose in their first two weeks. That's about 60% fluid. It's just insane, really.

I've had several moments that I would place pretty for down on the MISERABLE scale. The kind of moments that you remember clearly regardless of time. And even when things change, they still hurt. And I've seen others go through them. I can guarantee that just about everyone here has had a really sucky moment or another. And most of us have had "a-ha" moments when we realized it's just ridiculous, and it's time do something about it. Yay us for that one. Friday I got my hair cut by a lady who is not my regular lady. New lady was one of those "as wide as she is tall" ladies. When she was washing my hair, her fatty bat wing (whatever you call it) kept seriously hanging in my face and blocked my air a few times. I never said a thing, so she had one of those moments, without knowing it ever happened. That's probably the best kind.

At about 3 weeks out, I stalled for 10 weeks. Maybe a little longer, I kinda lost track. Just remember that it's normal, and it happens. Anytime you have a big gain, or a big loss, and no real way to account for it -- it's Fluid. If it's fluid, it's not fat, and who cares.

As others have already suggested, see if you can do some of it locally. It's going to depend on your insurance, and to a tiny degree your surgeon. Mostly insurance, I'd guess. E.g. pre-op diagnostic stuff can generally be done at any in-network facility, unless your surgeon requires it be done through him or a team he works with. Post-op visits are so few, and are usually for you & for the surgeon. i.e. not mandated by insurance. My commute to work is about 500 miles a week, right around 100 miles per day, so 126 miles one way doesn't sound that bad to me, considering it would be so few times, but do you have any other options? E.g. a bus, or a rideshare program, or someone you can get a ride with, or a metro, etc? If you can't do it then you can't, but you'll need to make sure you can find local care if/when needed.

Just my 2 cents. If you're craving a food, but don't want to swallow it, and it isn't something you do regularly, it's probably not a problem. I remember a girl who liked the flavor of oranges, but not the texture, so she'd chew them up until the juice was gone and spit out the rest. She got responses ranging from "You need help you have a disorder" to "Have you seen this show about people with eating disorders? Because you sound like that lady on there" and everything in between. It was ridiculous. I've certainly done it. My sleeve doesn't like breads, they sit heavy. But DH made some of his killer homemade bread a few weeks ago. I wanted the taste, but not the heavy feeling, so I chewed a bite and then spit it out. I'm pretty sure I don't have an eating disorder because of it. I just didn't want the crappy feeling. Sometimes I take a bite of something, especially with meat - and realize I can't chew it up very well. I'll chew it as much as I can, then spit it out. I've done what lolly...65 did, and chew things just to see how they taste to me now, and how my body reacts to the texture (I'm really really picky on textures). I've chewed things to see if I have a sense of taste (side effect from a medication I had to take for a few weeks). I've tasted & spat because I often make things without recipes, and need to see how it's going but don't necessarily want to eat the food (e.g. cupcake frosting! Way too sweet for me, but I still need to make sure the taste is right when someone's paying me $$$ to make cupcakes for their wedding). General rule of psychology: if it's not hurting you, or someone else, it's not a problem. And let's be real for a minute. The vast majority of the people who are here are morbidly obese, if not super morbidly obese. Not may people get to that point without some kind of an eating disorder, mild or otherwise. If you're doing it all the time, problem. It can cause you harm. If you do it once in a while for a specific reason, and that reason isn't calorie deprivation or related, then you're not hurting anyone. (I kinda latched onto the idea of eating disorder, but 100% of the time when I've seen a topic like this come up, that's either what was being asked OR it's the direction the thread took anyway, so let's just get it nipped!)

Agreed. Really - I'm fairly certain eating with your mouth open (guilty, unless I'm around people who would care) is going to send more air down than a straw will. Or chewing gum for that matter, or something chewy/sticky. Or slurping a hot Soup or drink. Or...

No straw is the most frequent rule, and probably the most freely/frequently broken rule. Do a search for "straw" or "straws" and you'll see lots and lots of research & introspection on the pros/cons of using straws.

I gained about 60 lbs between when my band was removed and when I got my sleeve (which was about a 7 month wait). That lack of restriction was a bear. Even though the last few years I had my band I only had about 1/4 of a cc, and the last several months I was completely empty, I still had restriction due to my slip. The first time I swallowed something still somewhat unchewed (on accident) and had my oh **** moment, then realized nope, it's perfectly fine now... it was almost surreal. 3.5 months sleeved now and while I don't regret my band, and I lost a ton of weight with it and was grateful for the loss, I'll still say that if I knew then what I know now, and it had been available then, I'd have gone with the sleeve from the start.

I prefer fresh cheeses. I hate bagged cheese, like the pre-grated stuff from Kraft/Sargento/whatever. Who wants the extra cellulose. And there's nothing yummy about yellow cheese that is white and tasteless. Babybel was the first cheese I tried post-op. Shortly after I added in Trader Joe's brie bites. Then the spreadable laughing cow kind. Now I mainly go after the cheeses I like the most, that have the highest protein. Gruyere is pretty good, and emmenthaler, Kerrygold makes a low fat Irish cheddar that's an excellent snacking cheese, etc. Of course I can't get enough real (imported, not the grocery store crap) feta. I'm in Missouri and we have multiple types of cheese curds at any grocery store you go to. Plain, white cheese, yellow cheese, dill, peppered, etc. Are they a Wisconsin thing?

I think it's human nature to be attracted to someone initially on physical appearance. Not only is it how we're wired, but it's kind of a no brainer because it's all we have. Celebrities wouldn't be celebrities if that weren't the case. I mean, we can't be attracted to someone we're seeing walk down the street because of things like intellect or personality that we just have no idea about yet. But no relationship is going to be based on that initial attraction. A "fling" may be, but not a relationship. I can't imagine sitting at a cafe, watching guys walking by, thinking, "Oooh, I bet he is smart as a whip..." or "Yum, he probably agrees with my philosophical viewpoints..." But that's just people watching, it's not how I'm going to decide whether or not to pursue someone. I used to hear things like, "You don't act fat..." or "You don't carry yourself like a fat person..." If you walk around with your self-esteem squishing out each time you take a step, people can "see" that. When you walk with poise, people can "see" that too. And I think it reflects hugely on how people are perceived. Perhaps as much as their physical traits. But on the flip side, I have found myself completely head-over-heels for a guy who I did not find remotely attractive, physically, when we first met. In fact I would have considered him, physically, to be fairly unattractive. The more I got to know him, the less it mattered. And eventually when I looked at him I did see him as an attractive guy and couldn't believe that he was ever not cute to look at (just like I might see a pic now of an ex that I used to think was hot, and wonder WTF I was thinking back then...) When I met DH he was not my "type". He was, and pretty much is, the opposite of what I would typically go for, physically. But it doesn't matter. We've been together for 17 years, married for 15, and he's still smoking hot.

Who knows, really. We trust our surgeons but they seem to pile onto different bandwagons, just like everyone else. Look at the discrepancies with NSAIDs. And how varied post-op meal plans are. There's no consistency at all, other than generally you do not try to have well done steak the day of surgery. 4 months with no pills is probably the longest I've ever heard. I stayed 1 night in the hospital, and was cleared to take my PPIs starting my first day at home (capsule). The sucralfate I mentioned above was necessary as a protectant against Predisone I had to take - also a pill - also starting my first full day home from the hospital. They filled me up, but I could take them.

I havern't tried popcorn yet (I don't really care for it much) but I know it's a slider for many people. When I was still banded I once blocked my stoma with popcorn and spent the next 2 nights refluxing popcorn husks into my mouth. I think that pretty much killed popcorn for me. I like buttered popcorn jelly bellies though. (but haven't had them post-op)

Below in blue.

Last night was sashimi. Saturday night was grilled carne asada and pollo asada. Friday night was pan fried cod. Thursday night was white lasagna. Wednesday night was shrimp. Tonight will be chicken thighs (I marinate them in a mixture that starts breaking down the chicken... it's always super moist and sort of melt-in-your-mouth. Tomorrow is jambalaya (I'll pick out meats and ignore the rice). Wednesday is a parmesan crusted baked chicken I make. Thursday is broccoli/shrimp alfredo with steaks. Friday we're eating out. I can only answer this b/c I write out weekly menus so that I don't have to go to the store every day.

The Tylenol brand product was called "Rapid Blast" and came in a regular (cherry) formula, and a P.M. version (warm vanilla). Retail was about $5 - $6 per bottle, and I think it contained 8 doses. Since it is a discontinued product, be wary of buying it through etailers like Amazon. It could easily be expired. CVS and (I think) Walgreens both have their own store brand version of liquid acetaminophen. BTW, if it's a sleeve thing, you shouldn't need the liquid version. You'll have an Rx immediately post-op, and generally we're OK to take pills after the first 24 hours, even if you need to cut it up. Two days after surgery I had to start taking sucralfate, which is a very large pill. I bit it into thirds for my own peace of mind, but by day 4 was taking it whole. If it's not particulary a sleeve thing, and you can't find the liquids, just take a Jr liquid or chewable to the comparable dosage.

Use the board's search function and put in terms like "3 week stall". This is something that virtually everyone goes through. It can hit 2 - 5 weeks out, usually in weeks 3 or 4. At week 3 I stalled for about 10 weeks. BTW, one week with no loss isn't really a stall. That's a misnomer. It would be much more accurate to call it "an equilibrium period". It's your body doing what it is supposed to do.

We used to do roaming meetings to help with the way the KC area is so spread out. For a while we met at a different house each month, and then it switched to a different restaurant each month. Weekends were tough b/c of family comittments. I think we ended up settling on Thu evenings (I think - this was a while ago). I asked a patient of Dr. Malley's this weekend and she told me his support groups are still open to the public as far as she knows, she hasn't been in a few months though. If you're looking for a place to meet, you might want to try one of the libraries. There's a group in STJ that meets at the public library there, and I know our library where I live offers meeting rooms up to public interest, non-political groups for free. Or at least they used to. Best of luck.

Oh BTW, there are several people here who run marathons or participate in otherwise "extreme"/endurance sports. You won't be lonely there at all. Hydration is really not a problem once your swelling subsides. I'm only 3 mos out and can drink a bottle of Water pretty quickly, whereas immediately post-op a single ounce was a challenge. Being able to "chug" may never come back, but a lot of people end up just shy of. HTH