Stillmissing

I was never overweight as a child.  I was always skinny, even through I wasn't active.  I was the one everyone hated.  I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and didn't gain an ounce.  Perhaps it was because I was mostly living on cigarettes and Diet Coke.  That all changed when I quit smoking 18 years ago.  I began gaining weight here and there.  I would watch the scale get higher and think, "I can take this off, no problem."  
 
Well, eventually it became a problem.  Before I realized what I was doing to myself (because it all came on so gradually) I went from 125 lbs. to 220 lbs.  I couldn't stand myself.  I now needed a CPAP machine to sleep at night and I couldn't climb a flight of stairs without being winded.  I had more aches and pains than I ever had in my entire life and finally hit rock bottom when my niece of 4 said I was going to break the ladder I was climbing down.  That's when I realized that I needed to do something or I was just going to get bigger.  
 
Realizing the stigma attached to Weight Loss Surgery, I decided to just go and hear the spiel and then I would most likely go through the program and not do surgery. I mean, isn't that the 'easy way' to lose weight?  
 
I can do this, right?  I'm a strong, independent woman and it will be easy to just follow the plan and the weight will come off like crazy.  How wrong I was.  No matter what I did the weight was coming off at only a couple of pounds per month.  The scale was going in the right direction, but not as fast as I had hoped.  
 
I sat down and thought "Can I deal with this?  Am I strong enough?"  The answer, unfortunately, was "no".  I needed to consider surgery.  I discussed it with my husband and he said that he would support me in whatever decision I made.  So I made the decision to go for it.  
 
I am 12 days out and I could't be happier with my decision.  I now realize I CAN do this!