HunnyBun

Yep, muscle and bone weighs a lot more than fat, so if you've got 50 pounds of lean muscle on you, the BMI calc will count you as obese! That's insane! I work physically every day becayse I own a small cleaning company and I do the cleaning myself. When I tell people what I weigh, they always say 'wow you carry it so well'... not really, I just got muscle hidden underneith my fat tummy and huge bottom. Yes, I do have fat that I need to lose... but I also have muscle which I will never lose and my BMI will never be at 23... I do still have lots to lose, because as much as I would like to think I have a lot of muscle hidden under the fat, it isn't THAT much. Don't feel bad about how much you have to lose, be proud that now you have a tool to make it happen, and it WILL happen for you.

Loopylou, you say that you want to run away and start fresh, leaving your problems behind. Can you tell me (us) the problems you want to run from?

Is it a bad friend? Debt? Family that mistreats you?

I would love nothing more than to be able move hundreds of miles away from my family, especially my mom. She poops all over my ideas and hopes, critisizes me, doesn't believe I am strong enough to lose weight, pretty enought to find a good husband. She critisizes the way I raise my son, yet I grew up hearing my mom call me names and my dad hitting me just the take his anger out on someone defenceless.

Yet... I live here with my mom because I make so little money, I can't afford to be a single mom and live on my own. Sometimes I think that if I just find a husband and move out my life will be better... but when I have a husband and things don't work.. I will dream of divorcing him and moving on.. and where will I go? It's scary and it's hopeless but I force myself to ignore my mom, sometimes snap at her and become an angry bi... just to show her that I too can be hurtful. Sometimes I just stop caring.

Depression is possibly the hardest thing to deal with, and I know I am not depressed, but I feel I am on the verge... I have nights when I cry and look at my bottle of phentermine... how nice would it be to swallow the whole thing and fall asleep and never again have to wake up to have my mom hurt me, never again have to worry that I wont make my car payment... but I have a 7 year old boy who would have to live with my mom if I died.. and I wouldn't be here to protect him from the abuse. I would rather live a million years being abused than let someone abuse my son.

Maybe you don't have someone to protect like I do, but give your life to someone else. Do you love animals? Become a foster family for abandoned dogs. Are you good at something? Offer to teach it to others for a small fee. Start selling all your junk on ebay and with every penny you earn, pay off those damn debts or buy yourself a nice treat. Love kids? Offer your free babysitting services for teenage moms who go to GED school at night. If you don't have the energy to do any of it, then tell everyone to buzz off and do whatever you want all day except for any of your responsibilities.

Please do share the problems you'd like to leave behind... maybe some of us may offer a solution you never thought of before, and it might work!

My BMI is almost 47.

Just in case you do not know what a PB is, it is a 'productive burp' which means that the food you eat will not go down. It's not like vomiting because there is no throwup acid taste, and it's only the amount you just ate, which shouldn't be a lot if you have the band. PB's aren't so bad if you compare them to time you spent a night hugging the toilet because of a drunken night or a bad case of stomach flu.

See if prune juice is on the list of allowed juices. That should help

I wouldn't worry about the bowel movement much, it's a liquid phaze so nothing there to poop really. I think the reason why they have you go on 'clear' liquids is because they dont want your stomach to work much during the healing time.

Call the nurse at your doctors office and ask though.

I too suffered from depression. It's managed well with medications as mine is a chronic condition. I know it's really hard to see anything good while you're in that deep dark place called depression, but it really does have so much to do with ourselves. The way we think, the way we see ourselves and others, the way we react and respond to the things around us. Admitting we have the depression is one thing, choosing to work on it and 'with' it is altogether another. It's hard work. Baby steps. Learning to react differently, learning to take 'self' out of so many things. I still have my days, but now I know the signs. I have also learned some tools that help me to divert the major funk that I know I can get in if I don't be careful.

I think honestly, one of the things (out of ALL the things I have gone through) that really helped me the most was one single thing that a therapist once said to me. And that was this, " But you play the role (of being a victim) so well." To me, that was just as if he'd thrown cold Water in my face or slapped me. I was terribly offended, but the truth was, he was right. I had allowed myself to get in that role and all that was wrong around me was someone else's or something else's fault. All this was happenging TO ME, when in reality I wasn't all that important at all.

This is not to say that it is the case with you, but it is a fair account of what depression really is and does to us and I am here to tell you that all of that can be changed. It's not easy and it takes a lot of determination and a long time, but dear sweet girl, there IS a reason for existing and yes, God does loves us in all our faulty, inadequate and unbelieving ways and YES life is worth living, but remember, Life is what is happening while we're sitting around waiting on something else to come along.

Things I do to get myself out of a funk.

Go outside and work in the yard.

Listen to the birds sing and watch the squirrels play.

Take a long hot bath and thank God, Mother Earth, the Stars, something larger than myself for allowing me to be where I am at at that very moment in time.

Look for a rainbow in the rain.

Put a rubber band around my wrist and snap it EVERY single time I think something negative about myself or my existence.

Find a reason to laugh - movies, books, other people, pets?

Take a walk just so you can take in fresh air, see how green or gold or red the leaves on the trees are.

Take myself for a manicure or pedicure.

Support groups.

Learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviors so that others don't trample you down.

Set boundaries for yourself.

Deal with past hurts and learn to file them away. Find the good in them - did they make you stronger?

Begin to change the things you don't like about yourself. Identify them, label them and take a course of action. Baby steps, remember? School, reading, support groups, exercise, self-talk, acceptance.

Consider where you would like to be 5 yrs from now, 15 yrs from now. What has to happen to get there?

Not sure any of this helps you, but it sure did help me. Perspective seems to be a large factor in depression. That, in addition to genetic pre-disposition of a chemical imbalance of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine can sure wreak havoc on a person's life, but it IS manageable and there is joy in life and most of all remember, EVERYTHING is temporary, EVERYTHING - especially this darkness that is so easy to slip into.

I wish you peace.

((((HUGS))))

Leatha

letha_g

I must say, you have really good advice and great understanding of depression! It it ALL about feeling like a victim and including 'self' in everything.

I think a human mind is not capable of understanding why we are here. The reasons are so far beyond our imagination that no one will ever understand.

We think that life and our world is for us, God's children, and because he is within us, we believe we belong to God and this world is his... but there are so many living creatures hidden within earth, the ground, the air, miles under the earth's surface and light years into space. Why question our existance? We are just one creature in billions... why do we matter more than others? There are tiny bacteria that live two miles inside the earth and we never knew why... maybe us humans are tiny bacteria to other beings we are incapable of seeing with our small eyes and small minds? I think we are just a part of nature, too intelligent for our own good, ruining life and earth and slowely killing each other, and purpose of being alive is only to exist in this incredible cycle of life.

I probably didn't help, but when i get so down on mysef I feel like crying myself to sleep, I imagine how incredibly huge this world is and all the parts of it I never saw and I wonder... why do I feel so important that I get this upset over my own life?

Lane Bryant has some cute stuff, but it's so hard shopping there for pants. I can try on one pair in 22 and are too tight, but different pants in the same size are loose fitting.

I think a plus size store should focus more on the needs of big girls, like needing looser sleeves or us having big booties and not being able to wear low rise jeans. Most of their pants are low rise these days. That's so unflattering, to have the upper part of your belly fold over your jeans. I have a somehwat proportional body, nothing really 'hangs' too much, but sometimes the clothes they have just don't support my round butt or thick arms. The prices are pretty high too. $18 for a pair of panties.... are they kidding? I go to Victorias Secret and buy XL panties 5 for $25. I go to Fashion Bug and buy jeans for half as much as Lane Bryant.

The thing I like at Lane Bryant is their jackets. Mostly nice quality and very fashionable. I have two from there and couldn't be happier with them. Another thing I like is the jewelry. Most of us have thicker necks and their necklaces are great length. The bad part again is the price. I go to target and find same quality jewelry for half the cost.

All in all, I prefer to shop elsewhere. I like Fashion Bug, Target (don't make fun but I love to try on their maternity shirts, they fit much better), Fredericks of Hollywood, and several online stores.

1. What is your name? Maggie

2. What color shirt are you wearing? Black

3. What are you listening to right now? My son playing gamecube

4. What was the last thing you ate? Apple

5. Do you wish on stars? Yes

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Pink

7. How is the weather right now? cold and wonderful

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My boyfriend (who I am very mad at right now)

9. Favorite Sport? Baseball

10. Favorite drink? Fuzzy navel

11. hair color? Light brown

12. Eye color? blue

13. Siblings? 2 brothers

14. Favorite month? October

15. Favorite food? Italian, Olive Garden style.

16. What was the last movie you saw? Serenity

17. Favorite day of the year! The day I get my band.

18. What do you do to vent anger? Tell someone how pissed off I am.

19. What was your favorite toy as a child? my playing house set, plastic cups, plates, utensils etc.

20. Summer or winter? Summer

21. Hugs or Kisses? Kisses

22. Favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate

23. Restaurants or home cooking? Restaurant because it's yummy and I don't have to work, but I cook at home.

24. Will everyone care enough to respond? Yep

25. When was the last time you cried? When my boyfriend pissed me off.

26. What is under your bed? Nothing

27. How long have you been a member of Lapband Talk? Maybe two weeks

28. What did you do last night? Went to the grocery store.

29. What are you afraid of? Spiders and ghosts

30. Favorite car? BMW

31. Favorite flower? Freesia

32. How many keys on your ring? 2

33. How long have you been at your current job? I'm self employed for the past year or so.

34. Favorite day of the week? Friday

35. What did you do on your birthday? Went shopping with a friend and had hot wings at Hooters.

36. How many states have you lived in? 1

37.How many cities/towns have you lived in? 2

38. What is your favorite form of exercise? Walking

39.Your favorite store for bargains? Target and ebay

40. Wasn't this fun? Yes

Well, unless you're sexually active, I say be happy

I'd call your doc though.

I started gaining weight when I was 12 years old. I didn't really gain a lot until I got pregnant though. After havign a baby, I lost and gained several times until I finally decided I want the band.

I am hoping it wont take longer than a week to heal. My guy likes it often, and I don't want to know how he's going to behave when he's starting to get anxious.

A few months ago when I went on a binge I would eat:

Bowl of Cereal with whole milk

Two sandwiches with ham and mayo

A large slice of chocolate cake with frosting

A big cup of mocha with whipped cream

Half a package of chocolate chip Cookies

A hot dog

In that order, took no more than an hour to consume all of this too!

Plus, wash it all down with two large glasses of coca cola.

A slice of pizza or a sunday and fish filet isn't bad.

Apply it all over your face with the brush, then if your pores become visible, smear it in with your finger a little. The minerals don't clog the pores and that why they become visible, not covered. If you rub a little bit, you'll cover the pores as well.

Vera, when you apply it on your nose, rub it in with your fingers... the holes will dissapear.

The Best Me, Have you tried using face scrubs for your dry skin? The skin on my nose and forehead actually starts to peel in the winter, it looks horrible. What I do is get a good face scrub, like 'Clinique Exfoliating Scrub' (not the 7 day scrub) and I apply it to wet skin in a warm shower, rub rub rub for 2-3 minutes, then let it sit while I shave my legs. It feels funny on my face when I let it sit, like my face is cold, but not a bad feeling. When I rinse it off, my skin is pink and smoothe! I apply a lot of moisturizer and go to bed. In the morning my face looks like I had a professional peel.

Maggie

I love bare escentuals! The secret to using this makeup is that you have to wait for your moisturizer to be completely absorbed and your skin can't feel wet/sticky when you put it on. Give it a good 15 minutes after you moisturize before you put it on. Also, don't overdo it. I cover up my cheeks well because they are very red, then I gently apply a little to the forehead, nose and chin. I also apply some on my neck. I use the thick 'full coverage' brush, so I am already getting more than necessary.

Since this makeup covers very well, your skin might look too even toned... so I always use a little blush to make it look more natural. I apply blush to my cheeks, gently a little under my eye brows, and a little bit under my chin (to hide the double chin).

With makeup, a good rule to follow is that less is more.

I love bare escentuals! Better than my $50 chanel foundation! Now I pay the $25 and smile to myself... I'm paying 50% less and getting 100% great coverage. And it lasts all day!

Wow, you guys have fun with your words! My current man and I don't really have any funny ways to communicate in bed.

Sometimes I make fun and say I want some Polish sausage (he is Polish).

My breasts are mostly boobies, my butt is a booty, my thing down there is a vagina - so unoriginal!

I have many nicknames though, kitten, kitty, kicia, baby, sunshine, sweetheart etc.

He rarely calls me by my real name! It's usually just 'kitten'

And I call him kitty. People make fun of us about it.

lol those are funny, someone I know calls it 'cooter' (the coochie)

I call it Punani - and when I was 14 years old I named my dog Punani and my mom never figured it out. The dog was a pickaneese and very small and ugly faced and funny looking, the name suited her well.

Tim McGraw for being so sweet. His voice is yummy.

Vin Diesel for being so damn hot and strong and tough.

John Corbett for having the perfect cutie face.

I would pick my man over any one of the guys above, and I'm not just saying that because he'll read this. (I'll see if I can post his pic for you ladies - he is a cutie!)

Maggie

What is the difference between a colonic and an enema? When I researched enemas I kept reading about filling the bottom with some warm Water, holding it in and releasing... same as you described Jack. I'm a bit confused!

Maggie

What is pb? I'm new and don't know the lingo yet...Thanks

I am new too but I think it stands for 'productive burp' and that's when you throw up a little bit? Google 'productive burp' and it will give you soem links about it and WLS.

I started out excited about the band and told a few people. I told my mom, my boyfriend, and two of my best friends. Last week I was visiting one of my clients and I told her that I am considering having weight loss surgery. She critisized it and asked me why not just eat right and excercise. This is the same person that said she has been strugling to lose 40 lbs for the past 8 years (since she hed her son). Yet, she isn't understanding of my situation, where I need to lose over a hundred pounds. I felt so upset when she said what she said, and even when I made a point that I had lost weight before and gained it all back, she said 'see, you can do it the NORMAL way'. So yeah, I'm done telling people.

I'm glad I found this thread!

Oh My! This is a great thread!

You guys inspired me to wear some sexy undies today.

Right now I am wearing some XL cotton undies from Victorias Secret, so not sexy. The only XL they sell are the ugly cotton briefs, and I got like 10 of them. They aren't ripped or worn out, I get 5 pairs for $20 so I get new ones often.

I'm about to go to the mall and I decided to dig through my 'too small undies drawer' and wear my old thong. I have only one and I only wore it once when I went to get a tattoo on my butt cheek. I am gonna wear it today, and if I can't find it, I'm not wearign any at all

Thanks girls, this thread is great!

Maggie

I haven't been banded yet but from all my research it seems like everyone must go on a liquid diet before the surgery. I would definately do what the doc said.

If it gives you headaches, remember that you should stop taking pain meds a day before your surgery.

Maggie