2goldengirl

Because you've been a real friend to her, and when you needed her to be a friend to you, she wouldn't. And it hurts. And she wasn't a friend to your gelding, either, and that hurts worse. I have a friend who has horses (I don't), and I love them. She knows if hers ever need anything I'll do it. Loving a horse is like loving a human, it requires responsibility.

Tell him yes, yes you DO. Everyone is different. This is your body, and your journey. Tell him you need his respect. Is he overweight? If he isn't, he has absolutely no idea the struggle that being overweight is on a daily basis. It's HARD. And if that isn't his reality, he can't understand it in the same way he can't understand what it feels like to be female. Tell him you need him to respect that this is your body, and your decision, and that you have made this decision as investment in your health, and your future together. I hope he comes around.

You are most definitely not eating enough. I'd back off a bit on the exercise (maybe do an active rest day in place of one day of workouts), and increase your intake maybe 100 calories/day for a few days. See what happens. You aren't going to have some big gain all at once. You sound fearful - afraid to eat, afraid not to work out intensively. If you read these boards, you learn that the folks who are successful long-term have learned to understand balance. They've learned to treat themselves, and their bodies, not just with respect and discipline, but kindness. You're working very hard on the fitness part, but your body needs fuel as well as work to achieve your fitness goals. Good luck!

Have you told him how his comments make you feel? If you haven't, you should.

What's telling for me in this is your very first words were "I'm doing this wrong". And I think you're right, the roots of that may lie in your self-esteem issues. Once upon a time, I had trouble accepting compliments. Someone I was close to taught me: "it's a compliment. Smile and say thank you." Try it, the more you practice, the better you get at it. Then you can work on the other stuff, the letting the compliments in, the accepting yourself and your accomplishments. You might try saying "thank you for noticing. I've been working hard." Because you have.

You can probably Google your health plan's medical policy to find out: "nameofhealthplan state medical policy bariatric surgery" I am not aware of any health plans that don't require some kind of documentation of how long you've been overweight, and what else you've tried and not been successful. They all just word it differently. Good luck!

Good heavens, who was facilitating this meeting? That's unbelievable! Our group is facilitated by the MSW and RD's who are with my program (though it's open to anyone). That kind of behavior simply wouldn't have been tolerated. I'm so sorry! I hope there is a more suuportive group you can attend.

I'm SO glad to see this thread! I looked into metabloic testing more than ten years ago. It was expensive and not widely available. I decided recently that the technology must surely have improved, and it has. I also found that I can drive an hour away from me to UC Davis Sports Medicine Clinic and have my RMR, active exercise metabloics, and functional movement tested, plus get recommendations from an exercise physiologist. I have long suspected that my metabolism is low - I want to know HOW low. And I want to know what weight loss postop plus improved fitness will mean as I am able to become more active postop. I have lumbar scoliosis which means I have one hip higher and one shoulder lower on one side. I want someone who really knows what they're doing to help keep me out of trouble at the guym, because injury layoffs are a big drag. All the advice we're given from our surgeons and dieticians is based on guesstimates of our RMR plus activity done via algorithm. For once in my life I'd really like to work with real, rather than imaginary, figures.

Here's the thing. The people who answer the phone for your insurer usually aren't the same people who are actually doing the reviewing the request. All they can see is a status on a computer screen. So if their status choice is only "pending clinical", "approved", or denied", they only know what they see on the screen. There is no excuse for rude, but all the same, you're approved! Celebrate! Throw confetti!

No, you can't. A benefit exclusion is a benefit exclusion, pure and simple. The reason your insurer won't budge on this is because they'd have to spend all their time reviewing requests for exceptions for everything, not just bariatric surgery. If they covered it for you, that would open the door to having to cover it for a lot of other people. You do have the private pay option, which includes not having to meet insurance requirements pre-op, just your surgeon's requirements. There are some people without the benefit for bariatric surgery who have gotten their surgery partially covered if they also require a hernia repair, usually a hiatal hernia. I'm sorry.

Very interesting. This would explain why people who do change it up in order to keep themselves fresh may be more successful. It's a small study to be sure, but it will be interesting to see more on this!

Welcome aboard! The stubborn thing can work for you, or against you. You can stubbornly commit to your goals, just avoid stubbornly avoiding following directions

March 10 here. 41 days and counting!

The reason for different requirements in different areas is because Tricare contracts with different health plans in each area. Each contract is different. Typically Tricare adopts whatever clinical criteria used by that health plan for that area.

I can't speak for others, but I review requests for bariatric surgery as part of my job. Typically the documentation is included in two places: your psych eval, and your surgeon's note. Some surgeons even use a checklist with the more common diet programs out there. As part of the evaluation process, both the psychologist and the surgeon review previous attempts at weight loss. I actually wrote it all down for my doc in table format, along with how much I'd lost and how long it lasted. I did that as a useful exercise for myself, mainly, but it makes it easier for the surgeon to get a grasp of the big picture. The only time you would need to provide proof is if your health plan requires documentation in a supervised weight-loss program for a specific period of time before you can be approved. I hope this helps!

I don't think it's calories that you need to count right now, so much as macro nutrients: protein, carb, and fat. Your lack of energy is perhaps not just that you aren't getting enough protein, but enough calories overall. Let us know how you're doing!

I'm still preop, but I'm in my 60's. Depending on her overall health at time of surgery and yours, about the only big difference postop between you is that recovery is likely to take a bit longer for her - cells don't regenerate as quickly the older we get. I have to constantly remind myself of this, particularly when it comes to exercise. I have a bad habit of forgetting I'm not in my 30's and doing too much too soon. When I'm working to get back into shape, I really need one or two off days a week for muscles and joints to rest and recover. Good luck to your mom, she's fortunate to have a supportive family!

Props to your husband for listening and understanding where you're coming from!

@@Bluesky1, this is appalling. Believe me when I tell you you DO have choices, you do NOT have to suffer abuse. Just because he uses words instead of his fists doesn't make his behavior any less appalling or abusive. No preacher who knows his Bible could treat a wife like this. Contact your local abuse hotline. Now. Please.

That's just rude! They can jolly well go out for their foodyoucan'teat. Grr!

It's perfectly normal to feel nervous. Do something nice for yourself the night before - mani/pedi, (no polish this time, they check your circulation by looking at your nail beds), massage, flowers on the table, clear liquids by candlelight, whatever makes you feel special and pampered and cared for.

If she doesn't feel she can lie, she doesn't feel she can lie. She may have ulterior motives for that position, but she evidently feels that keeping a secret is the same as lying. I'd talk to her in person (this just isn't a text-friendly thing). I'd tell her how badly her threatening not to keep her promise hurt you. And I'd really explore with her why seems to feel that you don't deserve proper credit for your hard work and success. Show her your food and exercise logs. Tell her how hard you've worked for those 50 lbs. Tell her whether she agrees with your decision or not, you deserve her respect for the effort you're putting in. If people DO ask her how you're losing the weight, she can always say "why don't you ask her?". That isn't a lie, that's acknowledging that it isn't her story to tell - and it isn't.

If your insurance doesn't offer a case manager or resource nurse, they don't. period. Ask to speak to the Navigator's manager if you continue to have trouble. Your Navigator may or may not be able to meet with you in person, it depends on whether the Clinic allows that in her/his job description. As far as the insurance information goes, call your insurance company. Ask about your benefits for bariatric surgery. They will be able to tell you what your copay/deductible is, and how far you've gotten toward meeting any out-of-pocket maximum for the year. You will probably be look up your insurance company requirements online: Google "nameofhealthplan state medical policy bariatric surgery". I lot of plans do have their policies online. The Clinic will have an insurance coordinator who works on getting your health to approve your surgery. Probably you won't talk with whoever that is, that's why you have your Navigator. You can ask what the options are for payment of your out-of-pocket portion and any financing options they offer. How it works: once the Clinic verifies your benefit and gets an estimate on your out-of-pocket expenses, they will let you know. That's why you want to check on this on your own, so whatever numbers you get from them make sense to you. As you get your other appointments taken care of, you will either pay copays for them up-front or get bills for them after your insurance has paid their portion, depending on the type of insurance you have. The actual surgery involves charges from the , any assistant surgeon, anesthesiologist, pathologist if there is any testing done on tissue they remove, and the hospital itself. All of them will bill your insurance first. Most of the time, they bill you at the same time they bill your insurance. Don't pay anything until you get a bill that actually shows what the insurance has paid. sometimes it takes a billing cycle or two before the insurance payments are reflected. You're getting information thrown at you all at once, and it can be really overwhelming. Just keep answering questions, taking notes, and asking more questions. It will all be OK!

One other thing - if you aren't drinking enough, that will actually increase your nausea. How are you doing with your fluids?

You've lost 50#. Depending on your intake, you may actually not be eating enough for your needs, which can slow down your losses. I agree, let us know what your protein/fat/carb intake is. Are you logging your food? Measuring?