mzdevoted

I like cher_j's reply,, sounds like the voice of wisdom,,and experience,, I am brand new,, i do not know the difference in procedures,, and i have not even found a dr in my area, or know if there are any,, a few years back i was inthe hospital for a really bad diverticulitis flare-up,, and adr who was called in for advice or something,, wanted me to have weight-loss surgery,, and he was probably right,, but at the time,, i did not even know who he was,, and the way he approached me about it,, just was not cool at the time. Now i have been seeing before and after pix on another fbforum and the excellent results,,and " i'm like, ok there is hope& help after all,,,". So I decided yesterday that i would actively pursue this,, at least get educated, find out my options, locate a dr, check my insurance etc,,, Im in Michigan, ,outside Ann Arbor,, so any help/tips/advice is needed and appreciated.

Second thoughts are normal.
You seem to be putting your sex life above other things in your life. A lot of obese women have sexual issues - especially women who have been sexually abused as children. I spent five years in therapy with the same issues. I'm not saying this is true for you, but sometimes overweight women value their self worth through sex. You feel great about yourself when having sex because someone desires and wants you. But those feelings are short-lived when you aren't having sex and you see yourself in the mirror.
You are 29 years old. I am 56 years old. I've been through the obsessive sex thing and you know what? Having sex didn't keep me from getting diabetes, sleep apnea, obesity related asthma,GERD and two bad knees.
I'm eight weeks out from surgery and have lost 58 pounds. Sex now, 58 pounds lighter, is so much better. As I lose weight, I know it can only get better.
Part of the pre-op process will be a psych evaluation. Discuss your concerns and second thoughts with the doctor. The doctor might give you some insight as to why you are feeling the way you do.

29/f, I've been overweight for about 8 years now. This past summer I reached my fattest point, but oddly, I also started having sex again after about a decade of not dating at all.
Now I've been swinging back and forth with this decision for years. At least 5 years. In 2013 I started looking for a surgeon but backed out because of unnecessary fees and general hassle with my local surgeon/hospital. Now I've found another a bit of distance away, and I'm working on getting my clearances done. the earliest I could get the surgery (sleeve) is in december. But I'm having second thoughts.
No one I know is supportive of my decision. Not family, friends, or the men I've been having sex with. I'm afraid of losing my shape, my boobs, my butt, etc. I'm afraid of the loose sagging empty skin. I'm afraid my vagina will look like Larry King's neck.
Sometimes I get into a frame of mind that I look ok. This is mostly when I'm looking at myself naked in the mirror up close. But then I have a moment like I did yesterday, after having sex, I went to a friend's house and caught a glimpse of my reflection at a distance in the glass of the back door. And I'm just shocked at how big I am. I'm grossed out. I wonder how I could have allowed myself to even have sex. I wonder how could these men even look at me let alone have sex with me. And I resign myself to the fact that I need to get this done for my own sanity.
On top of that, sex has been a real problem. Penetration specifically. My thighs are just too big, and even when the men push my legs back my belly is too big and in the way. I can't get on top, and even when I can I can't even move so it defeats the purpose.
I don't know what to do. I'm terrified and confused.

IMHO All I can say is if you have any doubts don't do it. I can't imagine a surgeon would approve if you are not definite in your decision. This is your decision not your family or friends. Give it truthful thought and base your choice on what is best for you. It sounds like there might be other issues at hand. It's an option and a rush judgement would only hinder vs. help. We all had questions and doubts at first, but that usually passes once you decide that this will improve your life. Just don't rush it.