Dar61

This forum needs to be open to everyone not just the book perfect people. I struggle each day also but am winning the battle slowly but surely. I also have IBD so i understand completely about that aspect of your struggle! Fingers crossed it gets easier for us both. I'm only a few weeks ahead of you!
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you are certainly welcome to express all of this on an open internet forum.
but others, even if they incorrectly assess your situation, are equally entitled to their own opinions and just as welcome as you are to express them.
I am sorry you have had a hard time of it. For me, this surgery has given me back my life and I am thankful.

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.
Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.
If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.
The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!
And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:
• "houses were dirty"
• "they didn't follow instructions"
• "they haven't seen the great results yet"
• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal
So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.
We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).
We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.
I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).
I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.
And it was still a mistake!
And so what?
It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.
I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.
It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.
My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.
I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.
And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.
We all have different reasons for regretting it.
Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.
I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.
I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.
I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.
I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.
I want to drink beverages with my meals.
I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).
I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.
I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.
And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).
I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).
I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.
So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.
And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!
So this is not about complications, it's about people.
One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.
If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.
You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.
If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?
Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.
Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.
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Ok so I had my Gastric sleeve yesterday morning with a couple complications... I had a hernia repair and a small spleen bleed. But all went well and other than some gas pain in my shoulder area early this morning I have been relatively pain free. Going home first thing in the morning, feeling very well and ready for what's to come. Anxious to get healthy and thanking God for the good outcome.
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Love to join!!!
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Awesome!! Would love to also do the challenge...i have lost a total on 80 pounds and im on my 8th month since surgery. Iys hard to focus especially with these holidays coming and all kinds of food on the table!!
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I'm in too. I really need to keep accountable during these holidays!
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I'm in!
6 weeks post op. Lost 36 lbs since pre-op diet began Sept 19.
Looking forward to a challenge to focus on this holiday season!

In!
HW 385 SW 359 CW 335 (50lbs down!) Sleeved 10/5/16

I'm in!!!
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Jesus loves you!!!

Eat to live. It doesn't take near as much to live as we have been programmed to think.
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Thank you everyone for responding. I feel better already about the long term healthy change. I've been eater much better in the past five months than I ever have in my life. I'm sure I will have my challenges but appreciate this knowledge and support.
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I agree with Bufflehead. I'm 6 years out and I basically eat portions that are considered normal. (Not normal by typical US standards, but normal by nutritional standards). My portions are slightly smaller than my "normal size" friends, due to my restriction, but what I lack in volume I make up in frequency, so at the end of the day I probably take in the same amount.
More dramatic than my portion sizes has been the types of food I eat. WAY less non-nutritive carb heavy "wasted calories", and WAY more healthy foods that contain the nutrients my body needs, not the junk my head may want. Yes, I do sometimes indulge in what I consider my "emotional foods", but never to an extent that compromises my health or weight maintenance.
You will likely experience a period of severe restriction immediately postop. The portions you eat will be scary small and your parents may freak out. But you will progress past this to a point of being able to eat more than enough to nourish your body. (If you make healthy choices)

@@MLT, I don't understand your parents' concern over "small portions." If they are saying that you can't do it, speak up. If they can't conceive of smaller portions, I'll guess that they are overweight at best, in which case, they may not be able to be genuinely, unselfishly supportive as you go forward. Love you as they do, they have a stake in your staying heavy.
If you were expecting to return to your lifelong portions after losing weight, remind yourself of all the other times you did so. Maintaining weight loss is a lifelong program. Reality bites.

You will end up eating the portions that most people should be eating anyway. Smaller than the gigantic heaps and platters of food served at an American restaurant -- but normal in many parts of the world!
3 ounces is considered a standard serving size of chicken, what people *should* be eating by nutritional experts.
3 ounces of chicken is right around what you will end up eating -- not immediately post-op, but eventually. This is just an example of course. Most people in the US (your profile doesn't say where you are from) are either overweight or obese. Most people eat too much food. You will eat healthy amounts of food, not giant platters or chowing down on endless refills at a buffet -- and that is a good thing.
I do not find it challenging in the least to meet my nutritional needs 3.5 years post op. I try to focus on healthy foods and not fill up on crap with no nutritional value. As long as you focus on healthy foods, you will be fine.

Congratulations soooo awesome!! You are inspiration!!!
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Okay guys, this is getting awesome. At my highest weight I wore a size 6x t-shirt. I love funny T-shirts and every year when my family and I go to Maine I stock up on funny t-shirts at the little stores in town. This year in August I saw a couple shirts I loved but they didn't come in my size. I decided to get them anyway thinking that I'll be losing weight and maybe I'll fit in them eventually.
Since I've been trying to do things I previously couldn't I decided to try one on just to see how close I was.
It fit. I mean a bit snug, but it could maybe be passable. I won't wear it out yet until it fits looser but before I would have never been able to get it over my head let alone be able to have it on and sit down without it rolling up
The size? 2x!! I wore a 6x and now I almost fit in a 2x!! I did cry this time guys and it felt really good
Highest weight 10/30/2015: 540
Surgery weight 5/27/16: 480
Current weight: 352
Also, I'm sooo close to losing 200 pounds in a little over a year!!!
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Thank you!!
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Haha thanks!! It was definitely a good moment that I'm still enjoying!
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Thank you so much! I love reading the NSVs also!
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Aww thank you so much! It definitely hasn't been easy!
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I think the NSVs are the most wonderful stories! That is so great you are doing awesome! [emoji4]

Aww! Thank you so much! It just felts so awesome to be able to do some normal things without an accommodation of some sort!
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So many people have such a negative view of surgery, but for all of us it comes down to quality of life. And your post is the perfect example of that!
You are amazing!
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That is such a wonderful feeling, so happy for you!!! You are Awesome!!!
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I think your doing awesome, throughout my weight loss I've lost a lot for a bit then not so much! If your weighing yourself often you could even see a pound or two weight gain at times, but the great part is it does come off !! So don't get discouraged, You are and will do great!!!!
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My family is horrible that is why. Not one person would be anything but negative. Over the years I have been the one to take care of myself and just combing my hair on a regular basis causes them to be mean and nasty. I wouldnt tell them if my life depended on it.
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I think everyone has a different reason for not wanting to disclose surgery. Mine was I didn't want my family knowing because I didn't want them to try to talk me out of it. And on another level, I didn't want them to know in case I were to somehow fail at loosing weight. I didn't want the added pressure.
2 days before surgery I decided to tell my parents. I just couldn't stop thinking about what if something were to happen during surgery? My wife would have to call and explain it all, and I didn't want her to have to do that. It turns out my mother was thrilled I was having the surgery. Her exact words were "You're doing what I never had the guts to do." 4 weeks later and I'm still shocked by her words. Family can be surprising.
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