then i met with the Dietician, she was really really good, and weighed me also, where i tipped the scales at 152.7kg.. i like her skales better....
So i met with Andrew the next day, he ran me through the basics and i was like YES YES YES.. BUT!!! i can't get time off till January... so we set a date for Jan 14th 2008.... and then within next to no time it was CHRISTMAS ya ya
So i gorged myself at Xmas.. and in the time between nov and nye i put on 3 kgs... eeek... so i OPTIFASTED myself stupid.. and dropped 8.5kg before surgery.....
So i go to the hospital - self pay so handing over $7000 was HARD..... we pay the anaesthetist, the surgeon, another $5000.. EEEK this had better work...
I was nervous, DB was nervous, it was all very stressful.... so i sent him away... i said go shopping, spend money, do what you have to do.. just go away.. i didn't want him to see me cry....
so he left.. kissed me told me he loved me and left.. all okay...
So i wrote letters to my loved ones, and a missive to be read at my funeral if i died... and you know what it had this calming effect, like "phew" and i could breathe again...
So about 1pm they give me pre-meds, then they take me down to theater about 1.45.. and the next thing i know i wake up, i hurt and they give me sweet morphine.. have i mentioned i love morphine.. well i do when i hurt that much.....
about 5 i see DB again and i love him, but i can't stay awake, i feel sore and dry and yuck.. but i know its worth it.. i know it is....
we all know the post surgey stuff.. cottonmouth king i was.. and slow and turtle like in all my movements....
so its 5 days out from my op now, i've been souping, smoothying, water, juice, whatever i can get through a straw - nothing thicker than a mackas thick shake i figure... and nothing chunky.. oh i want to chew, but hey i lost 1.5 more kg so that makes 10 all up in 3 weeks.. i persevere i persevere!!!
I am happy i have done this, I KNOW it will be HARD, i know i will have days where it depresses me.. but u know what, the results will be worth it...
In 18 months i WANT to be able to and WILL be able to:
1. buy clothes off the rack that look good
2. be a size 16, maybe a 14 (i'd be happy)
3. have a baby.. or at least get pregnant...
4. start looking for wedding dresses.... eek.. i want to marry DB...
5. have ppl realise that i'm not just fun, i'm hot (okay so thats vain, but f*ck it i don't care)
so thats my list.. today i am positive... and i hope to remain so...
thanks for listening
x
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