♥dreamable

My dr. Said 6 weeks is when your stomach is healed enough that your risk for getting a leak is greatly diminished.

I have an aunt and an uncle who both have had WLS and have had amazing long term results. However, the rest of my family is completely against WLS and is being very hurtful towards me in my decision to have it done as well. I won't get into all the details, but basically I have had to reschedule my surgery twice now, because of family members. Anyway, what can I do to help "bring them to the other side"? I keep hearing that having surgery is not healthy and all this crap and everyone knows (insert some diet) here that will help me. (Nevermind that in the past 30 years I have tried literally every diet known to man- the first diet I went on I was in 5th grade!!!!!) I also keep hearing the normal things like, "you are taking the easy way out" (lol which is so absurd to me) and things like, "you are making the biggest mistake of your life". I know it's easy for others to just say, "f-em, you don't need them in your life" but the reality is that they are family and we always have been really close. It is SO hurtful to me that they are not supportive (aside from a few and my aunt and uncle who have previously had surgery). I am just looking for advice from friends and family members here, what is something that was helpful to change your mind and make you realize that it really is a smart decision?

Just my face in this one. Left was before 2 week pre-op diet. Right was from today... 1 week and 5 days post-op. Also 38lb difference. Lol I didn't believe my family when they said they could already see a difference earlier lol I was wrong.

LOL this cracked me up. haha

LOL I don't even own a scale. SO far I've just been going on my weekly Dr Appointments. Tomorrow is my last one and then I don't have another for for everal weeks. It's probably time I buy a scale so I can do weekly weigh-ins lol. I understand your not wanting to see the scale at the Dr. My mom tried to get me to step on her scale last week and I said NO WAY lol I didn't want a number that was "wrong" LOL

LOL believe me, as much as I have enjoyed being single, I finally am feeling ready to get back out and start dating. Although I don't feel right at this moment is the right time for me, I am still a little terrified at trying to date without the 'cover' of my old body. Having said that though- I AM SO EXCITED to actually get dressed up and go on dates. I know I am going to look amazing (because I already know and believe I am beautiful!) and that makes me so excited to date again. It really feels good to finally be taking care of myself, instead of everyone else

Yes, this thread has been an enlightening read. This topic of how our obesity shaped the way we view the world--even for those who are no longer obese--is a topic meriting its own thread. I know for a fact that everything I do in life, every single choice I've ever made, is done from the lens of a fat person. When you are fat from childhood (I tipped over into the "fat" category in third grade, and it was all downhill from there), especially in a time when few kids were fat (unlike today, where it is more normalized), it is rare that you grow up relating to the world in a way that a slender person would. This is of course my perception, and there are certainly people out there whose experience differs, but I know that my personality was vastly shaped by growing up fat and therefore different from my classmates. So when we shed that fat, after years of moving through the world dodging society's slights and insults, we don't really have any kind of touchpoint for knowing how to relate to potential love interests. It is so very normal that newly-thin people are confused in the dating world. I don't have any solution but I suppose it is like being a teenager again, with all the passion and heartbreak that accompanies that stage of life. You just have to walk through it, learn your lessons, and hopefully come out of it with a great and worthy mate. I can really relate to this. I went on my first diet in 5th grade. I was overweight my entire life. As I got older, I always have had this things where I assume 99.9% of people are really just assholes. Growing up most people were/are assholes to me. I thought everyone in life were assholes. All people were just jerks. Then I started going to the bar with my sister who was thin. I remember having this moment the first time- we walked out doors and men would stop to hold the doors for her. People were NICE to her. People came up and talked to her. They smiled at her. They ignored me. We would be out with a large group of ladies at a table and I can remember groups of men would come over to chat with us- only they would chat with everyone but me. It was like they were avoiding eye contact with me at all costs, as if I wasn't even there. It was so hurtful and devastating to my self esteem. My weight has completely shifted my perception of the world and it's one of the things I struggle with the most. IN some ways, I enjoy knowing who the jerks are and think I am better off without them in my life. Once my weight goes down though, I won't have that physical filter there, and it scares me a little bit. This is something I think people who have never struggled with obesity understand- just how much it changes and alters nearly EVERY aspect of your life.

OH MY GOSH ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????? holy crap that is so awesome! I started a little over 320 at surgery time- you are my new inspiration lol Great job!

Thanks everyone I actually had my surgery on October 19th and am LOVING it. I obviously previously had a very unhealthy relationship with food. I honestly think the food funerals only made me crave the food more. LOL I do NOT recommend anyone does them. You don't need to and I wish I had never read a post in a Facebook group talking about them lol

AWESOME!!!

I know people who have been successful and people who have not. Those who have not and gained most, if not more weight back, failed to actually change their eating habits. One of them was drinking pop a lot and the other one, well she still continued to eat crappy processed foods like potato chips for her meals. The ones who did manage to keep the weight off, as was stated by others earlier, did gain about 10-15lbs back around the 3 year mark, but one of them says that is fine with her, as she is very comfortable at the weight she has been maintaining and she didn't feel as healthy and strong when she was the 15lbs thinner.

Big hugs to you! I know your decision to seek inpatient care was probably not an easy decision at all. While I haven't suffered from it, my 15 year old daughter does. She has been hospitalized for it several times. It takes a lot of work and dedication, but I know you can do it One day at a time, and for whatever it's worth, I am way over here in Michigan rooting for you!

This is what my surgeon and NUT say. No carbonated beverages again. While it won't stretch your stomach out, it will usually cause a lot of gas and discomfort, especially if you aren't far out from surgery. Also, because liquids tend to "go right through" your stomach, you basically are just drinking a bunch of calories with NO nutritional value at all. They won't make you full or anything- you basically are just drinking pure calories. I used to be ADDICTED to Mt. Dew. I haven't had any in 3 months now, and plan on keeping away from carbonated drinks. Surgeon also said that drinking carbonated beverages is the number one reason people gain weight after surgery. Edit: I also would recommend what they had me do- STOP drinking carbonated beverages well before your surgery. Get used to not drinking them. The first few days suck, especially if you have caffeine withdrawal, but after that, you honestly won't even miss them.

My surgeon recommends being weaned off of Protein shakes/powders by 6 months. They are all synthetic chemical "crap" so to speak. Don't get me wrong, they have their time and place in this process, and I currently enjoy 2 premier Protein shakes a day (hello 60g of Protein!) Are you eating more protein now since you are eating more "real" food? My NUT has always said that if you stall or whatever, that upping your protein intake is a great way to jump start your losing weight again. Either way, pretty cool for you that it has increased

As a fellow single women (after an 8+ year relationship, I have now been single going on 3 years) I can honestly say this attitude is EXACTLY where you need to be at to be dating! SO AWESOME you are in that headspace (the part where you mentioned knowing what you want in a man and knowing eventually you will find the right one, not wasting time with people who don't meet your expectations etc...) I think this is no different than men who ONLY seek out very large women and who 'get off' on them getting larger. NOBODY wants to feel like they are being objectified and only worth what their body looks like. I am so excited and nervous as hell to start dating again. I realize there are going to be a lot of struggles, and I enjoy reading your posts about your struggles and dealing with dating. Dating usually stinks, no matter what weight you are. At least these men are showing their "true colors" straight away. Sometimes I joke with my friends that I wish I could sit down with a check list on a first date and say, "Ok this is what I am looking for and things I won't compromise on- if you don't fit, then sorry, I don't want to waste my time" (Lol I've wasted too much of my life in WRONG relationships- I have high expectations as well and won't settle for anything less. I don't really have an answer for you, but I am here supporting you and cheering you on! You will find someone with the right balance eventually

UPDATE TIME!!!! (I'm sorry I cannot respond to each of you individually now, but I was reading every single comment and you all helped so much and are so supportive, it really touched my heart- so much great advice!) The last time I rescheduled my surgery (around when I wrote the original post) I was talking to my sister on the phone. My sister has been my rock. Her philosophy and she has always told me this, "I am supporting you no matter what your choice is. I don't know what you go through and it's your life and your choice and I support you, no matter what you do!" So we were talking and I was unsure if I was going to cancel my surgery or not. I REALLY needed to get my ducks in a row with my time of work (from the FAMILY business) and with childcare. I could manage between myself and my kids after I was home, it was just the part about while I was in the hospital and then someone who could help drive while I was still unable to after surgery. I was just very unsettled about keeping my date and I was very unsettled about rescheduling it AGAIN. Also, because of all of the rescheduling and cancelling and family conflict, I had gained nearly 40lbs since March (when my original surgery was) having food funerals. I was feeling a bit depressed. So anyway, back to my story. I was telling my sister on the phone that I just didn't know what to do and her reply was that she couldn't make the decision for me. We went over the pro's and con's. Then she said she would talk to my family with me and basically they could either support me, or not, but she wanted to help me educate them. Since I couldn't decide to keep my date or not, she jokingly said that I should do what her and her husband always do (seriously, if they can't agree on something- they use this method- the only rule: whatever the outcome is, they have to stick with it), flip a coin. I laughed and then said, "Do you have a coin?" (I was sitting at my desk in my office and didn't have one near me). So------- she flipped a coin--- and it landed on Tails, which I had picked was "reschedule surgery for 30 days out- get things in order and tell everyone that's the date, no more changing or anything- support me or get out of my way" lol So I rescheduled it- only there was nothing available in 30 days, I had to wait until October 19th. Soooooo my sister helped relay this to my family (because I wasn't really talking to many of them at this point). Just this actually helped some of them creep closer to being more supportive of my surgery. I was talking to my mom again, although I never brought up my surgery to her, I just kept it to other topics. I cut out all caffeine and was trying to eat better so I wouldn't gain anymore weight having food funerals. It was a huge wake up call on my end to get ALL of my sh** in order before my surgery. So 2 weeks before my surgery (actually the morning of my pre-op class) one of my cousins (about my age and a mother of 6) unexpectedly passed away. This was DEVASTATING to our family. It was such a huge shock and such a sad and heartbreaking loss, especially for her beautiful 6 children and my aunt and uncle. That morning I went to my sisters house because we were all upset over the news and my uncle was over. I broke down and told them I didn't know what to do- I really felt like I should go with them out to my aunt and uncles to be with them for the day and not go to my class (knowing if I didn't go to my class, they wouldn't let me have my surgery and it would have to be rescheduled). I felt like I was being so selfish, all things considered. They told me, like always, they couldn't make the decision for me, but that I had worked hard to get to this point, and that they would all be there and so would a lot of other people, that it was OK if I didn't go. So I chose to go to my pre-op class, even though, I was crying almost the entire time, and wasn't even really "there". (Thank goodness we got print-outs of each of the power point slides LOL) At some point during the chaos of that day, my mom and step-dad told my uncle why I wasn't there (I should add, this uncle is the uncle who previously had a sleeve done!) My aunt and uncle completely understood me going to the class and my uncle talked to them about my surgery. They did a complete 180. I am not sure if it was the timing, or if it was just because my mom needed her brother to explain it (I seriously told my mom everything he did) but my mom finally LISTENED and when she heard it was the same surgery my uncle had and everything- she was totally fine with it. Her and my step-dad talked to me, and they expressed how they wished I wasn't choosing to have surgery done, but that they were completely supportive of my decision and would help me in anyway they could. My grandparents still aren't supportive, but I just don't talk about it with them. They are in their late 80's and they have never been overweight, honestly they just aren't ever going to understand. However, they still are there for me, and supportive and help anyway they can, but we just don't talk about my surgery. So like I said at the beginning, I had my surgery on October 19th, and my mom was there by my side cheering me on! My family all came together to help watch my kids and get them to soccer and band and youth group and everything else. My surgery went AWESOME! With the exception of the day of the funeral, I followed my pre-op diet EXACT for the entire 2 weeks I was on it. The sleeve surgery and hernia repair went awesome. I was SUPER sick during recovery, but they gave me so many meds, I went back to sleep and don't remember anything else until I was back in my regular room later. My mom and grandparents were there for support during that time. They made me get up and walk every 4 hours. I made it a personal challenge to myself, that each time I got up to walk, I would go one more lap around the floor. By the next day I was up to 6 laps. The nurses were floored and told me most of the people didn't even manage 1/2 a lap at a time. I was feeling AWESOME after my surgery (and seriously after having 4 c-sections, this surgery felt like nothing!) I went home the next day. The fact that I was doing so well seemed to be a HUGE surprise to my family, I think they all honestly thought it was going to be like my c-sections where you can hardly move for 2 weeks. By the weekend I was off my pain meds and taking my kids to their soccer tournament, making them meals etc. I went back to work the next Monday (exactly 7 days after my surgery). I still take it easy, and one of my incisions is still sore, but I feel so great. My mom complimented me the other day on how I have a glow about me now, where I am just radiating. My mom and my step-dad have become my biggest cheerleaders! My kids are being awesome about it, and it's been a great learning experience for us so far! I did find it cute that all of my nieces and nephews thought I would come home from the hospital skinny. My sister told me they asked, "will she look the same when she gets home?" lol Sorry for the wall of text! TL;DR - Flipped a coin, rescheduled surgery for the last time, now mom is my biggest cheerleader!

Finally off ALL of my pain meds!!!! I am still taking the neds for spasms though. Prilosec feels like a horse lol I started back at work this week. Today I finally got in all 60 grams of protein!!! I feel like all I do is eat/drink. Surgeon was right when he said it is like a full time job at first. 2 week post op is Friday. Hopefully they will take me off liquids then and allow me to add in purees. I feel freaking fantastic! I keep getting compliments on how I am just "glowing" since my surgery. I still can't believe I am on the other side. It still seems a bit surreal. I hope ya'll are having blessed weeks!!

I have said this before and I will say it again here I am not out shouting to the world that I had this surgery. However, I have no shame in telling anyone if they ask. I grew up and have a special needs daughter and fight everyday to erase the stigma around mental illness. That means being open and honest with people and NOT hiding the truth from them. I feel the same about this surgery. There is a stigma that this is "the easy way out" or "cheating the system" or whatever. So everyone who who fails to mention surgery and will only tell people, "Oh it's just diet and exercise" are only feeding into the stigmas that so many of us are trying to fight and educate people on. People hear that and think, "well so and so lost 100lbs by just changing her diet and exercise, I don't see why all obese people can't do it" etc. That's my .02.

Yes, compulsive eating disorder here. (I mean seriously, look at this thread I just wrote earlier tonight) I only had my surgery a little over a week ago, so I am not so great for getting long term advice from. I think continuing to work on it with your therapist is an EXCELLENT idea. However I will say this. I quit smoking over 3 years ago. It took A LOT of hard work and dedication to resist the urges. In fact there are still days now where I get the craving/urge and think, "man I could really use a smoke right now!!!" However I learned to re-condition myself. I always smoked in the car when I didn't have kids (it felt like I was being rebellious or something- so I ALWAYS chain smoked like crazy then). I had the hardest time not wanting a cigarette everytime I got into my car after I quit. So I had a system with my mom and sister- and everytime I got into the car and was really having a STRONG urge to smoke, I would call them to talk. They both knew this and all I had to say was, "I'm in my car talk to me" and they would talk. It helped distract me enough until the urge went away. Finally I was able to get in my car and know in my head that the urge would soon go away, I just had to find good music to listen to call my mom or my sister to chat. However on a positive note, a lot of the times I get in my car and am driving, even though I no longer have those urges to smoke the minute I get into my car. I also always smoked in the morning when I had coffee. Now I read Reddit while I have coffee. I stopped caffeine a few months before my surgery, so now I just browse Reddit whenever I have 'free' time to kill (like waiting to be called back for an appointment etc...) I guess what I am saying, is you are going to have to find something else to do to distract yourself long enough that you can train yourself to know "this craving will pass soon". I know I am going to need to do this with food too in the very short future. So far I haven't had ANY urges to eat, but my stress level has been pretty minimal since surgery and I'm only a little over a week out. I know those urges will most likely come back at some point. I already have a plan for work hours- I am going to take a quick walk around the building. The time it will take will be enough for the craving to subside, fresh air is awesome AND what better way to combat an unhealthy past thing than to replace with a HEALTHY way to cope! I was a major night time snacker (it was like party time for mom after the kids went to bed), so I need to figure out what strategies I need to implement to help with those. There is a lot of information that might be helpful with DBT therapy. It focuses a lot on mindfulness and emotional regulation (not being at extremes, but finding a middle ground) and I really think that might help, I know it has helped me a lot. Make a list of coping skills and hang in on your fridge, and hang one on your walls, or in your car or wherever you tended to have those urges. I would say like 50- just a list of different things you can do to distract yourself for a period of time to keep you from giving into the compulsion. It can be ANYTHING- like going for a walk, coloring, playing a game on the computer, watching a funny video, taking a bath or a shower, playing with a pet etc. Ok, hopefully that helped or will help others

That is awesome! I have already had family members notice (I have lost 33lbs total between my pre-op diet and post op so far). I don't see the changes yet, but I didn't expect to notice them for awhile as the 33lbs I lost were the 30lbs I gained in the spring/summer having way too many food funerals in preparation for surgery LOL. I have itching too- but that is a good thing It's just your incisions healing up. I have some of this C-Section/Scar stuff left over from my c-section (3 years ago LOL) and I have been using it and it has stopped the itching! It's just a base with some essential oils so it smells wonderful too! I haven't taken any pictures of myself yet (I know it's easier to see results if you compare photos) however, I do take pictures of my incisions everyday LOL

Thanks! I realize this phase will pass too. Each day is one day closer. I am on liquids for 2 weeks- but they allow Jello-o (since at room temperature it's a liquid), chicken broth, cream of chicken powdered/puree type soup, popsicles, powdered smoothie mix, drink mixes (crystal light etc...) and Protein drinks/powders. Just feel like I have run out of new options and I am already sick of everything LOL. One more week until I can have pureed foods and I cannot wait. Can you have hummus? Falafal sounds so good right now, thanks! LOL Popsicles were not mentioned to me and I am not allowed any fruit Apparently this is so that I don't shock my stomach with fruits that have too much acidity and end up uncomfortable. I can have Jello, custard and a middle eastern type milk, orange blossom Water, mastic pudding. I know it sounds strange but it is very delicious. Also I would very highly recommend adding a drop or 2 of orange blossom water to your glass of water if you are having a hard time drinking it. It is an acquired taste so do be forewarned!! However it has also proven to be very soothing to the stomach. I have read around these forums that people do eat hummus but if I were you I would ask the doctor as well as check the packaging before buying it. Different hummus brands are made in different ways and some are healthier than others!! For example, I am on a trip to the Middle East right now and I would avoid the hummus here as much as I can because the way they make it is very fatty. However, if I was back at home in Canada, I would be more likely to buy hummus because it is made and geared as a healthy food. Same with the falafel, I would not eat falafel because it is deep fried here. I would think we are not allowed to eat falafel in the pureed food period anyway! On another note, I just realized that you and I had our surgeries in the exact same day!! Awesome- hello surgery buddy! Are on the Oct 19th Surgery thread that has been going on for a few weeks now? I don't buy hummus, I always have just made my own Yes, my surgeon said we are allowed to have sugar free popsicles in the early stages for a few reasons (1) they count as your liquid intake [each one is almost 2oz] (2) because you eat them slowly, it helps so you aren't gulping etc... (3) Eating them so far has been really soothing on my stomach, which often times gets upset when I eat different temperature foods (4) They just taste good, and are like getting a special treat. I have been using sugar free drink mixes (like Crystal Light) to flavor my water. I love water and the taste- and thankfully still love it after surgery, so that part isn't a big deal for me. Optimally, my goal is at 6 months to be completely weaned off Protein drinks and the "crap" like the drink mixes, jello's and powdered protein smoothies. I really much prefer to eat more fresh vegetables than anything. So I am excited for that p.s. I am jealous you are in the middle east right now! I am in Michigan in the States, and we always joke we might as well be Canada sometimes- we have similar enough weather that's for sure! LOL

I think this totally helps. I spent 30 minutes watching youtube vidoes on making things with cauliflower etc... I am trying to be as prepared as I can for when I can start easing back into "solid" foods. Really it's not that I am craving having bad foods- I am basically craving the taste of anything that I can't have on my liquid diet because I am bored with it right now. LOL

Right. Let me clarify too- while the pizza isn't good for you- I have been watching healthy recipes I will be able to make eventually with vegetables etc.. so when I am thinking about the chinese food- I was thinking about grilled chicken and vegetables LOL Basically I just want the taste. LOL Also, it's only been the past 2 days, so I am working through it

Thanks! I realize this phase will pass too. Each day is one day closer. I am on liquids for 2 weeks- but they allow Jello-o (since at room temperature it's a liquid), chicken broth, cream of chicken powdered/puree type Soup, popsicles, powdered smoothie mix, drink mixes (crystal light etc...) and Protein drinks/powders. Just feel like I have run out of new options and I am already sick of everything LOL. One more week until I can have pureed foods and I cannot wait. Can you have hummus? Falafal sounds so good right now, thanks! LOL

oh my - hummus counts to have during this phase? Be still my heart!