gpmed

I don't have to deal with the skin so much yet (at least I think), so that is one I may have to contend with later on. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. My surgeon has told me that my insurance covers plastics, and it's always been in the back of my mind to see out plastics if seeing me without my clothes on would indeed cause someone's jaw to drop.

I hope that means your insurance is friendlier about plastics than others and that, if you decide to go that route, you'll be spared having to get letters in support from every doctor you've ever known, personal trainers, tailors and all the rest.

Oh, geez. I hope so too. I haven't thought a ton about it. I'm not at the point to decide if I'll need plastics. I'm doing fine right now without it, but in 40 pounds, who knows? I was just excited cause my doctor said it's covered by insurance and I don't have to document skin rashes or any crap like that.

If you wouldn't hand over your Social Security number and bank balance on a first date, there's no reason to discuss surgery with someone who really is a stranger. Whether you blurt or simply/casually work surgery into the first few dates just for the sake of full disclosure, you're really confessing what you see as some sort of sin or shame. No one is so defective that he has to 'prepare' the other party. There is no need to apologize for having had surgery or having been obese. There is no need to ask, in effect, if you have the right to live or are acceptable to another person.

Tell someone when it feels right. Trust your instincts. We make too big a deal about it.

@@Christinamo7 --

"Yes" to the part about letting someone know in advance about the skin. It's tricky, though. How to say it without being apologetic, yet take care of ourselves enough not to see a draw drop when all is revealed? It's a tough topic, but the important thing is to learn to view ourselves with dignity and acceptance. It's about us, not whomever we may date.

As always, you give the best advice! That's generally what I was thinking.

I don't have to deal with the skin so much yet (at least I think), so that is one I may have to contend with later on. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. My surgeon has told me that my insurance covers plastics, and it's always been in the back of my mind to see out plastics if seeing me without my clothes on would indeed cause someone's jaw to drop.

On a whole another note. So, I guess persons who've had WLS can't have one night stands or have casual relations? IJS

I'm confused. When was this implied?

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts! It sounds like my thinking doesn't seem too far off-base to most of you, so that's comforting. I still have about 40 pounds to lose before I'm in normal BMI range, so, unless I'm in denial, I don't look like an elephant naked yet. Hopefully it's obvi from seeing me with clothes on what you might see underneath. Being seven months out, I can generally eat enough to pass as a normal person who just eats smaller portions as long as I go in hungry. Our first date was a dinner date and I ordered trout that came with asparagus. I finished my trout and had a few bites of asparagus. He didn't seem to notice or at least didn't say anything. I generally prefer local restaurants that don't serve huge portions because the food is generally higher-quality and healthier. So that's how my scars are the first thing that would really raise questions.

I'm seven months out from RNY and am starting to date again (I took a break after the end of a nearly three-year relationship). I had a very successful first date with a guy who's smart, funny and hot. We have plans to see each other again soon. So it got me thinking about when I should tell him I've had WLS. For me, it's a pretty personal thing that I don't typically divulge to people shortly after I meet them. I would certainly not keep it a secret forever either. If we decide to become intimate, he will see my scars. I have very fair skin and my scars haven't faded much yet. I am hoping at first to simply say I've had abdominal surgery and that maybe I'll tell him more about it one day. So, those of you who are more experienced, how have you handled this?

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Why? She's not.

Cause it feels good knowing I'm better than her? hahaha That and my reputation is worth protecting.

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

I'd insist she suck my butt.

I would, but it's a coworker so gotta keep it kinda profesh.

Just had someone (not overweight) insist I tell her what I was doing to lose weight. I just told her diet and exercise. I don't feel even a tiny bit bad about it either.

For me, physical activity has really replaced much of what food used to do for me. I've been having some skin allergy problems lately that have been exacerbated by exercise (basically, my body releases histamine and it makes my skin itch like crazy). On my way to the doctor on Friday, I was thinking about it and worried the doctor would tell me to slow down or temporarily stop exercising. That's when I realized how devastating that would be (I'm being a bit hyperbolic).

Exercise is an important part of my daily life and I rarely take days off. It helps me relieve stress, gives me something fun to fill my time, helps me sleep better, even puts me in the right frame of mind to eat well. It's a great social outlet too. I have friends at the gym and groups I go hiking with. It also lets me enjoy quality time with my dogs.

So yeah, it's pretty important to me in the way food used to be!

I'm planning to give eggs one more shot in maybe six months (one year after surgery). If they don't work out, we're done for good.

Pondering this a bit more and I guess if someone asks how you lost the weight and you answered "None of your dammed business!", that would be the whole truth, no lie, no omission.

This by far my favorite answer to the question!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Me too! It does kill me sometimes how people feel entitled to this information — how you did it and how much weight you've lost. I appreciate the fact that the majority of people in my life have simply told me I look great and said nothing more. I do generally try to put out the vibe that inappropriately personal questions aren't something I appreciate.

I totally agree with the OP.

I do have a beef with the WLS patient who took it upon herself to counsel me about obesity. As in, I didn't seek her out, she sought me out for this conversation. And she told me all about how she went to OA, got off sugar, etc. Didn't mention using surgery as a tool. She didn't lie, but I think withholding that info in this one particular case was uncool.

You do you. Tell or don't tell who you wish. Just don't seek out obese people to counsel about their weight and leave out important details, please.

I started at 285 lbs, am 32, and have a desk job. I still took off five full weeks and worked from home from one week, per my surgeon's recommendations. It took about six weeks to get my energy back after surgery. I felt like I had the flu, I was so tired. And I had bouts of nausea almost every day. It really helped to have that time to adjust to my new lifestyle.

I used FMLA and short-term disability to cover my time off of work and protect my job while I was gone (I took off five weeks and worked from home for one week). Are those options at your job?

I like Premier Protein chocolate shakes and bars. The bars may have too much fat or sugar for your guidelines shortly after surgery, so watch for that.

I'm six months post-RNY and I still enjoy food, just in a different way. I find there are plenty of on-plan foods, textures, spices and tastes to enjoy. I felt very restricted shortly after surgery, especially during the liquid and pureed stages. Now I can eat more and it's easier to go out to eat on occasion. Most places have salads with Protein or a Protein and veggie sides. I just eat what I can and bring the rest home for leftovers.

I have also come to enjoy new things besides food, like day-long hikes that are physically challenging and allow me soak up beautiful scenery. I'm happy to eat turkey Jerky and nuts on the trail and find enjoyment somewhere besides with food.

So I sent a note to my surgeon's office through a special email system they have and asked if I should go back on Iron and if so, if I could try a different kind. I got a terse reply that I should take iron if my PCP prescribes it and I could schedule an appointment with them if I have further questions. Wait weeks for an appointment and pay another $40 copay for an answer to a simple question? No thank you. I'm just going to take the iron I have and get another kind if it starts upsetting my stomach. I'll see how I feel and see what happens.

@@sharkgirl May I ask where you are in sizes? You're right that it does get easier when you get out of plus sizes. I'm actually riding the line between plus and regular. I can wear mostly XL tops (a few L) and 14 and 16 bottoms. I've had good luck at Marshalls and TJ Maxx.

@@sharkgirl Me too! I accidentally tried on some skinny ankle length jeans at Marshalls recently (thought they were capris). I used to only wear bootcut, but they are actually cute! I'm having a good time with different styles, but I keep feeling I need to check in with someone and ask "does this look all right?" My best friend has promised to tell me if I'm wearing anything that looked dated (the style I'm used to from when I was last thin 10 years go) or too young.

I know the feeling! I've given a lot of nice clothes to Goodwill this month. Maybe we should start a thread somewhere to alert each other when really good sales are happening?

I'm wearing new pants today and noticed they felt somehow different. I figured out it's because they're actually touching my butt instead of hanging off! Isn't it funny how used we can get to wearing clothes that are a little too big after surgery?

In other news, I am about 1.5 pounds away from onederland. So close I can almost taste it!

Thank you for the great info! I take B12 and multivitamins religiously. My B12 is actually higher now than before surgery. I'm asking my surgeon's office if I can take the other kind of Iron you mentioned. They seemed to really want us to take ferrous sulfide for whatever reason when they covered Vitamins before surgery. Something gentler on my stomach would be awesome.

Labs at my six-month follow up show my Iron is a little low. Explains why I've been tired lately! My surgeon had initially advised me not to take iron because it was upsetting my stomach and turning my stool black. Going back on supplements now. Does anyone know if it takes a relatively short or long time to turn around a slight iron deficiency? Wondering how long it might take to have a bit more energy.

I've had it in both feet. I've done really well with shoe inserts and shoes with excellent arch support. I use these inserts in my athletic shoes:

http://www.amazon.com/Powerstep-Original-Orthotics-U-Womens-10-10-5/dp/B000V0BKDK?ie=UTF8&keywords=shoe%20insert&qid=1459975365&ref_=sr_1_5&sr=8-5

My favorite shoe brand with excellent arch support is Dansko. They make good-looking shoes I can wear to work (dress code is business casual).

My doctor also gave me a good exercise I use to this day when my feet/ankles feel tight: trace the alphabet with your foot.

My goal is to keep pushing myself to get in better shape, right now through hiking. I joined a couple local hiking groups and completed my first hike Sunday. My Fitbit says I hiked 13 miles, climbed 233 floors and burned 2880 calories. I'd like to be able to do that without being so super sore for two days after!