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I've generally kept a small inner circle and none of those relationships have changed. However, I now seem to have a lot more casual friends/acquaintances. I've been feeling much more confident and have, therefore, been friendlier and more outgoing.

I would like to make more friends. Sometimes I find it difficult to cross over from, say, friend at work mode to hanging out outside of work mode. I think the issue is mostly due to scheduling. I have a new boyfriend I'm spending a good deal of time with. I also exercise nearly every day, so it's often 8 p.m. by the time I get done, shower, and make myself presentable. I also have two dogs at home and I want to be able to hang out with them. It can be hard to juggle everything, but the desire to be more social is definitely there!

This is a fantastic list! I'm eight months out, so I know most of this stuff, but it still helped me to read it today. I realized my workout routine isn't challenging me enough. This gave me the little boost I needed to step up my game.

Wouldn't it be nice if people could put some kind of color coding on their posts? Maybe the text would be black if the OP desires straightforward responses, pink for warm fuzzy responses, red if they want a true kick in the arse, green if they just need to vent but don't necessarily need advice, etc. sigh...

I think this is another instance in which we can "use our words." Letting someone know whether you want advice or just need to vent is a good idea both online and in real life.

Some people need to state what kind of advice, though. Coddling? Straight forward? Permissive? Fuzzy?

At least I'd know when to skip a post without even opening it.

This is true! I generally think "asking for advice" only because you want people to say it's ok to do the not-advised thing you want to do is ridiculous. However, sometimes people have legit reasons for being extra sensitive about particular topics (e.g., They've historically felt a great deal of shame about the subject and have been very, very hard on themselves as a result). I find it helpful to know that so that I can take extra care to be tactful, without holding back the truth, of course. Just my $0.02.

Wouldn't it be nice if people could put some kind of color coding on their posts? Maybe the text would be black if the OP desires straightforward responses, pink for warm fuzzy responses, red if they want a true kick in the arse, green if they just need to vent but don't necessarily need advice, etc. sigh...

I think this is another instance in which we can "use our words." Letting someone know whether you want advice or just need to vent is a good idea both online and in real life.

Can I add that you don't poop out your excess weight?

That's not what the scale told me this morning!!

You got me. Should have said you don't poop out your excess fat.

Can I add that you don't poop out your excess weight?

@@roxy0508 Does it make any difference for you whether it's bottled Water or from the tap? I can't stand Water from the tap now. I buy bottled water by the case.

If it helps, my surgeon told me I needed 48 to 64 oz of Fluid a day to stay hydrated. I was able to get pretty close to that lower limit shortly after surgery. It was months before I started getting closer to 64. Good luck!!

I got this one once...said to my husband "Wow your wife is hot now...better keep your eye on her." I'm like really? I'm hot NOW? I was hot before...a*****e. AND I'm standing right here! I'm serious that crap just spews out of people's mouths at times. All in all, comments I've received were positive and I believe well meant....some of it just comes out as verbal dribble.

Here's the all-time rudest comment about someone else's weight loss:

"I bet your husband / wife / significant other is so happy that you've lost weight!"

Both critical of your previous weight and misogynistic. That's a winner.

I'm going to reiterate what others have said. Once you are maintaining for a while, no one will say anything to you. I've been at a steady weight for probably close to two years now and I also think that no one really thinks of me as the former heavier person I was pre WLS. They've seen me this size for a long enough time that they've gotten used to it.

I'm definitely looking forward to that!

Wondering if you can have too much Protein at once? I made my Protein shake this morning and it had 49g of protein. I used unjury chocolate splendor fairlife 2% milk and oikos triple zero coffee yogurt.

Yes, you can.

30 grams in an hour is the upper limit that I was given.

Aim for no more than 20-30 grams in one hour.

If you make a shake with more than 30 grams, then divide it into 1/2 or 1/3 and spread it out over several hours.

You're right. Thanks for clarifying. I'm many months out so the thought of spreading a Protein Shake out over several hours doesn't really occur to me so much anymore.

Wondering if you can have too much Protein at once? I made my Protein Shake this morning and it had 49g of protein. I used Unjury chocolate splendor fairlife 2% milk and oikos triple zero coffee yogurt.

My nut told me that the body can only absorb 30 g of protein at once.

We were setting up refreshments at work today for an event and we were talking about food. I made the comment that I don't trust myself to eat just one (sweets are a trigger food). A lady goes "you have to learn to eat just one cookie.." I'm sure some of y'all can eat just one, but if it's a trigger food there is no way I'm eating just one. For me it's the same as if she told an alcoholic to have just one beer. It's going to lead to a lot more. /end rant

My thinking is why is she telling you that you HAVE to do anything? Whether you decide to abstain for the rest of your life or eventually have things in moderation is totally up to you. I've seen people be successful with both approaches.

I ate too many Quest bars and burned out on them. I think Premier Protein bars are pretty decent for 30g of Protein each.

I hated when people didn't mind their own business, but I accepted that 95% of them were not being rude on purpose. Most people who have not had weight issues think that telling you you've lost weight is this big compliment, and that asking how much gives you a chance to brag. It made me feel like a monster, but I get that people who were not fat have no idea what it feels like.

If it makes you feel better, once you've been at goal for awhile, no one asks rude questions and people tend to forget that you were once fat. No one has told me I look thin in probably a year other than my mom who told me I look too thin and my friends who tell me I look skinny because they know it makes me happy, haha.

You've hit the nail right on the head. That's why it makes me feel weird. It makes me feel like I was some kind of freak of nature before. You're right that there's no other way to take it than to know the majority of people mean well. It's just nice to have folks here who understand.

Ugh! Sounds like you're getting some rude comments and questions. I'm not getting them so much, but I've reached some threshold where suddenly I'm getting at least five comments a day on how much I've lost. I know this sounds kind of first world problemish, but it's....weird. I'm ready for how I am to just be the new normal and not garner so much attention.

I definitely agree with the spirit of the OP's post.

I will say the recommendations sound a bit high. I've never heard anyone say before that 80g of Protein was their surgeon's recommended minimum. I most often hear 60 g per day.

Re: Water, my surgeon said 48-64 oz.

I can certainly understand the struggles of anyone shortly after surgery finding it virtually impossible to meet 60 g a day. I personally could not for the first few weeks, but I tried really hard. I ate/drank only the most protein-dense stuff I could find and drank Water exclusively. I probably averaged about 45 g a day. I just kept working at it each day and by two months out, I was consistently getting 60 g a day. It also took me about the same amount of time to move from barely reaching 48 oz of Fluid a day to reaching 64 oz. I'm eight months out, I've not been a slow loser and haven't stalled since the dreaded third-week stall.

So, to those newly post-op, do your best. It will work out.

I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. I really don't like that he's saying you played a part in this. Without knowing all the specifics, I think that sounds really unfair. You don't deserve to be blamed for him hurting you! And this is super effed up timing on his part. It is vitally important that you concentrate on yourself and your health right now. So please take good care of yourself and consider getting your own therapist outside of the marriage counseling. I think it would be great to have someone concerned solely with your wellbeing.

Girl. You are singing the song of my people. This is different, but I think you'll appreciate my rant of the day. I cross the same big intersection every day on the way to work. The light is only green for a very short period of time. If people have their $hit together, you can get maybe 10 cars through. But invariably, some idiot in front of me is looking at their phone or staring off into space and when they finally realize "omg, the light is green, look at that," they have just enough time to slip though, but I don't. Infuriating.

Interesting info from the NYT:

http://nyti.ms/24syPBx

TL;DR=We're all screwed.

@ ... actually, I was impressed by the consistency in almost all participants' responses in terms of changes in their metabolic rate -- and was honestly shocked at how huge the decreases in their metabolism. It's the first quantitative *proof* I've seen that metabolic rates do decrease and by a lot.

I keep thinking I know about so much about obesity. But there's so much more to learn.

I'm thinking that this study and the coverage it's likely to get in popular culture because of who the participants were and how popular that show is (ugh, I know) is going to accelerate interest in bariatric surgery.

This makes me really curious about whether WLS patients have the same kind of metabolic rate decreases, how much and what accounts for any difference between them and people who lose weight other ways?

I'm 8 months out, 140 pounds down, and I have recently started being able to have a bite of something here and there. Even better yet, after one or two bites, I am fully satisfied. I firmly believe in taking at least a bite of birthday cake for good luck, and I did so for my boyfriend's birthday just a few days ago. If you do everything right while you heal, and learn to control your cravings, dumping isn't any kind of issue. In fact, I don't think I have ever dumped. I was very careful. And I have no regrets.

I'm seven months out and ditto!

I couldn't bring myself to take before photos. I'm seven months out and down nearly 90 lbs and I'm okay with not having them. I have other ways of feeling the huge change I've made. The clothes I'm buying are so much smaller it continues to amaze me every time I go shopping. I used to struggle to walk more than a mile at a time and now four miles is nothing. So, personally, I really only care about having after photos.

Based on my own experience and watching others go through this process, I've come to believe two of the most essential components to success after WLS are 1. self-awareness 2. the ability to make good decisions for yourself.

It was made very clear to me pre-surgery, and many others who have shared their stories with me, that the surgery is a tool. My pre-surgery process was very thorough and covered the many factors that contribute to a person reaching a weight that qualifies for WLS. Anyone who thinks having WLS guarantees achieving long-term weight loss with no other effort or intervention is deluding himself. Perhaps there are some practices that don't do enough to make sure patients are good candidates, but I believe the majority do. They want to have successful patients so they can grow their business!

I also think what she said about long-term studies is ridiculous. People dropping out is a problem with ANY long-term study. Duh.

I think the other tips she gave, like eating mindfully instead of counting calories, can work for some people. I really don't think she should assume they work for everyone.

I also think online forums like this are helpful for a lot of WLS patients. This is where self-awareness and the ability to make good decisions for yourself come in. When you get advice on forums like this, consider the source, obviously. You're not getting advice from medical professionals. You're talking to other people like you. It should be obvious what things you should check out or even just ignore.

And when someone gives you advice about anything, you need to remember you know yourself better than anyone. You should be able to judge whether something might work or just isn't right for you.

So yeah, I definitely think the whole tone of the video was off.

@@Teapot You're right. That was a terrible way to respond. I gave up beef and pork more than 10 years ago for my own personal reasons and I've learned to be adaptable, just the way you describe. You just have to figure it out, which isn't that hard, and not expect people to accommodate you. I've found this pretty easy to do post-surgery too.

I'm definitely a shopper, so I think I can understand your issue.

Right now, I'm still in the weight loss phase. I'm not doing the best job balancing my goal to pay off some debt once and for all and needing new clothes. I'm trying to mitigate things by sticking to places like TJ Maxx, Marshall and Old Navy for now. Especially at Old Navy, that stuff really only lasts one season anyway.

When I get to maintenance, I plan to invest in or bargain shop for really good basics. Jeans, black pants, basic tops that fit perfectly, are high quality and will last. Once I have the basics, I can slow down a little on spending. I figure then I'll splurge on a few trendy items for fun and easily stay within budget. Twice a year I think it's a good idea to go through your closet item by item. Get rid of anything that doesn't fit well and make you feel good when you wear it. That makes room for new stuff.