IncredibleShrinkingMan

Thanksgiving Day will be sedentary. All football and lounging and tedious discussions. Then...Black Friday and OSU-Michigan 24-hour tailgate (lots of flag football). Expecting multiple 25K step fitbit days!

Marriage is a sacrifice, but not a total concession of your own individual life. The stories of the unsupportive spouse are plentiful on this site, but I think this is pretty novel. So, all I'll ask is, would you be okay if she had had surgery and you continued to have reservations and she started to have doubts about you because you were not running for the surgery? If there is a backstory to this, such as that you are interested in somebody else or that you are simply no longer in love, I understand that as well as the fact that you'd rather not talk about it here. I hesitate to think that following somebody down the same medical path is part of any tacit or openly acknowledged agreement within the marriage contract. You don't want to cajole her down this path without examining whether it is even the right thing for her. You are an item, but you may be two very different people. It was clearly a great move for you (I am looking at your numbers), but it could be a physical and mental disaster for her, not to mention a huge emotional investment into something that will not benefit her because of her mindset.

String cheese, deli turkey, and chicken aren't solid foods?

This is a real delicate act, I think. Of course, most of us were taught to clean our plate, but some of us were also taught only to procure so much food as will allow us to clean that plate. I have been giving food to homeless shelters and food banks prolifically for the last three months, because I have run into the exact problem you are describing despite my best efforts not to load up on things that I won't be able to get to prior to their expiration. I understand your ethical concern completely. However, I think that failing the donation solution, disposing of some food now and then is very forgivable, whereas eating for a purpose other than nourishing and sustaining yourself is no longer okay. At the peril of sounding crass, it really comes down to "wasting" some food versus wasting a very expensive surgery. I am sorry if I offended anybody, but I have been able to establish for myself a balance in this area with which I am satisfied. I don't think you have OCD or any mental disorder whatsoever...I think you are a very laudable and responsible individual who can be trusted to reach a good solution each time you are confronted with this.

Welcome! Your progress looks phenomenal! Keep it up.

I neglected to answer your third question. The answer is that it is absolutely impossible to stretch the sleeve back to the size of the pre-operative stomach. 85% of the tissue has been removed, and it is mathematically impossible to get back to that volume with only 15% of the former tissue present (the tissue would be ineffective at its biological functions if stretched this thin). That said, you may feel like you are back to where you were before surgery, but two realities still hold...first, once you are a certain distance out from surgery, you may have a vague idea of what your hunger was like, but most of us will grossly underestimate how hungry we were, because without the ghrelin, we have no ability to replicate those states...second, you may feel like you can eat a ton, but your question of what a "ton" is has been changed by the surgery and your new habits. That is a very good thing.

It's possible if you are chronically overstuffing it. That's what happened to our original stomachs. I don't know what you mean by "slip." That is generally a lap band term referring to when the band slips down the stomach, thereby reducing restriction. If you just overeat once or twice, the sleeve will stretch temporarily, making it easier to consume more for a short duration after that meal, but will contract back while you sleep, as though it were a spring. It is a very durable tool, and pretty hard to stretch it into a permanently larger volume, but it has been done and you want to try and avoid it. Unfortunately, even tests like the barium swallow are not too effective in determining whether or not this has occurred.

Most clothes "fit" a certain range of sizes. Five weeks ago, you may have been on the tight end of those clothes, especially if they weren't recent purchases, whereas today, they are probably nice and loose-flowing (or at least fitting well). Eventually, you'll need to hang them up. This is one of those times where I think you should emphasize what you see on the scale, whereas most people need to learn to back off a bit from the scale. Your scale progress, contrary to your assertions, is quite impressive, and is excellent news. 5 lbs/wk? That's outstanding. You have lost more than I had at my 5 week mark and I am quite thrilled with how this has gone for me (15 weeks out).

Um, yep, case in point! But it's not like FB doesn't occupy an equal amount of my down time!

All amazing points made, @@gowalking The more insidious things have to be pointed out to you, and yes, this site focusing way more on sudden NSVs than gradual ones. For example, HR told me today that I needed new pants and that I was starting to look like a bum because they are too big and so is my belt. I was mortified, and wondered if I should even have categorized it as an NSV. However, the incident got me thinking about how people now actually stop and chat at my desk (not just about weight loss) now and ask to go grab lunch and ask me to be in pictures at work functions. My relationship with food isn't different, in full disclosure. I can just feed it less. But while some things in our non-food lives still have to be address on their own, this aspect is truly different. Thank you for pointing it out.

I think you answered it yourself...your job doesn't care about you and you are seen as just a commodity, so the only consideration should be whether or not you will actually be in jeopardy employment-wise if you take off. If there is some protection against being dismissed (not legal, just anything), just do it, because you should treat your job as a commodity (a paycheck) just like they treat you and your co-workers. I am not saying there is never a reason to treat somebody with moral consideration that hasn't or would not reciprocate, but work is different, and the stakes are too high here, and you should only exercise caution to the extent that it would ensure the safety of your job.

With liquids, a common result is that air bubbles will form, and if you have GERD (I do), those symptoms get exacerbated. With food, the analogous complication is stacking, which will be the same reflux symptoms plus a horrible choking sensation. While not inherently dangerous, these should be indications that you are consuming an amount that is not beneficial to your sensitive and still-healing sleeve. I am three months out, and these have largely disappeared, and the only symptom of eating too much is fullness...what we are going for anyway!

Full disclosure: I'm a guy, so I might not know this stuff...but in my info session they said don't get pregnant for 24 months after surgery. This is because you may not be able to compensate adequately for the "double" nutritional requirements you will have. Be sure you keep up the liquids...because that is the most important nutrient for both yourself and the baby...and don't restrict the fat at this time either!

Amazing news! Christmas does come early!

Have you attended a weight loss surgery info session? Sometimes, they put you on the top of their list if you show you've done that (and gotten a PCP thumbs-up) as well!

@@sleevingbeauty17 First of all, great name! The only part that was worrisome to me was a big saga about whether I needed a sleep study. The pulmonologist said it was completely unnecessary, the NP said she was getting confusing messages, the NUT didn't really care but tried to rearrange appointments because she wasn't comfortable holding sessions until that was resolved, and the hospital admin kept scheduling and rescheduling once it was cancelled in the system...even after the date of my surgery! Incompetence... I had some weight gain during pre-op that alarmed both the NUT and the psych, but by the time I was a few minutes into my psych appointment, I could tell he wasn't going to give me trouble about it, because I had come back down by the date of the psych eval.

I hope it wasn't too tough a decision to leave your job. Anything that improves your life in the long run is worth it, however. It shows you are strong and confident, not to mention self-assured. Congratulations, and best wishes!

Put your foot down and be proactive! There are enough irritating hoops to jump through once you actually have PCP support, from insurance, surgeon, psych, etc...this should not even be a major opening act. Say you want it and that you've made a decision. I hope this advice is not belated or moot by now!

This is extremely true. This is what got our problem started in the first place, I would think. We weren't innately hungry, but cues from the environment played with our heads just enough so that we would feed an irrational desire unrelated, but now deleterious to our health. This may or may not be able to be changed, and more power to the people that are actually able to change their brains (I have not, as of yet, been able to, and don't expect to ultimately).

My obsessions are there and stronger than ever. My mind has not failed to catch up, per se, but I just don't think it ever realized that I got big...there were so many other problems in my life that there appears to have been no room for that one. I am sorry about the lack of family support. There are two unfortunate extremes in this business...those that think the surgery can solve everything and that it's a panacea, and those that think it is entirely inappropriate and horrible (even if they admit it might help you). Neither is correct. Each surgery does what it does to your anatomy. Nobody operates on your brain. I think it is a good idea to admit that that is a much slower process and that it may not ever come around. Nothing will ever be perfect, especially not in the estimation of a perfectionist, but it gives you a chance at a great life and takes the heavy premium off of completely rewiring your brain. A new mentality, I have found, is good enough.

Congratulations, and welcome to the other side! Best wishes!

Congratulations, and welcome to the other side! I see you are already doing fantastically well. 17 lbs during pre-op is no joke! Best wishes!

Indoor soccer rocks...my winter 4 on 4 league starts tonight Two different therapists will never see another dime from me (or a minute of conversation either) because they claimed that counseling would work better than surgery. One of them also claimed that counseling would be better than taking my meds (for anxiety and depression). While I did not give either one a second look, the one who criticized the surgery currently bears the brunt of my anger. I don't think it's entirely coincidental that I now see an overweight therapist who has thought about the surgery himself. I have been lucky to have had a pretty supportive general response pre-op. My best friend cannot be counted in that group, but since I went ahead with it she has been invaluable to me and incredibly loyal, as well as positive towards the surgery. Slight NSV today...albeit humiliating...I was told by HR I need new pants because I've lost too much weight...and a new belt. The reprimand was followed by a suggestion that WLS was not a good idea. I went from scared to just plain weirded out.

Also, did you take these pictures or did you find them? Whichever the case, I am surprised they were willing to be photographed with contraband, as in the case of the first two.

I am sorry you have to see these and internalize them, but as you suggest, I think they are wielding a predominantly positive influence on you. I think you know at this point when to act in an opposite manner from what you observe, and you seem to be very savvy at that. Let's pray that, in turn, you become an inspiration to them, rather than just a broken pixel on their screen of excuses.