JessterNC

I haven't had the surgery yet and I have heard many different responses to this issue. So here is my thoughts about it. For me to be successful at this and not just look at it as a short term change, but a complete life-style change, I need to change my playmates and playthings that got me here in the first place. By that I mean, I need to learn new things, new ways of doing things, new ways of dealing with things. I got re-married 12 years ago and my wife to be asked me to quit smoking as a gift to her. I had smoked for over 20 years and didn't expect that, but I knew it was something I should do, So I changed my routine, took away the things that I did when I smoked, so no alcohol, no soft drinks (loved Mt Dew) and no coffee for about 2 years until I broke the habit of smoking and coffee. I even hung out with different people to re-train myself. It must have worked, I haven't had a smoke since the day before we got married. That is the way I will a approach this, not try to figure out how to go back to the things that got me there in the first place, but learn new things to enjoy, I have found I really like ice cold Water with a lemon slice in it instead of the Mt Dew. I guess my guilty pleasure is an occasional glass of lemonade, but besides that, I just drink water and 2 cups of coffee in the morning. Do I miss the other stuff? Sure, occasionally, but then I say okay, but look at how much things have gotten better and move on. My life will never be the same, I don't want it. I don't want to go back to what I am now. My way didn't work so I will commit 100% to a new way and become the man I need to be. I am not saying that anyone elses way is wrong or I am 100% right, but I know for me, if I start to make excuses and explain how I can have something that is borderline I shouldn't, I will be quickly be back to doing the dumb thinking that got me here in the 1st place.

Thank you for the support. The clinic did call me back and said there had been a mistake and they submitted my paperwork today. Hopefully we will have a response by Monday. I really appreciate the feedback on using an experienced surgeon. I hadn't really thought about that, but you are exactly correct. I don't really want to have another operation, but this is one I have to have. I want the best team I can get to do this and the best in the state is at Chapel Hill. So I have a back-up plan if they fall through, but I still feel that the best doctors are there, I just need to get there! Thanks again!

Thanks for all of the encouragement, I think I am going to really need it. I am SO frustrated right now. I have been trying to get in touch with the clinic with some questions and even though no one seems to contact me back, I was telling myself to wait that as soon as the insurance approval came through I would hear from them and that should be any day. I had been told that they would submit everything the afternoon of the 18th and I should hear something within 1-2 weeks. I got tired of waiting and thought I would contact the insurance company to see the status of everything. Then I found out the paperwork has not even been received by them! So after almost 2 weeks they haven't even SUBMITTED my paperwork!! I left messages with every phone number I have for the clinic (no one seems to actually answer the phone) and someone finally called me back, only to tell me that someone else would need to call me back and she would send them an email to either call me or email me. By this point, I have just about had it. Chapel Hill is 3 hours away so it is not easy to get there for appointments, but everyone keeps telling me they are the best in the state next to Duke, how can anyone know if this is the way they do things? I finally got online and found hospital about 20 minutes away who also does the procedure, called and talked to them, what a shock, the phone was actually answered and am going to see if I can get the procedure done through them. I figured if there was going to be any delays it would be with the insurance company, not with the doctor. But I don't know if that will be any easier in the long run. I just want someone to act like they care! This is MY LIFE. I am so down right now....

My wife and I decided to go out to dinner on Saturday evening since our anniversary was Sunday as well as knowing it was Father's Day, we thought it would be easier to find a pace to eat. Even though I am not on a pre-op diet or anything, I have had to watch what I eat because of the problems with the bowel obstructions. But since this was a special day and I have not had any problems in the last couple of months I threw caution to the wind. We had a wonderful dinner, we laughed and talked and never once discussed everything that had been going on. But 2 hours after we go home I was in unbearable pain and back on my way to the ER. For the 2nd year in a row I was admitted to the hospital for a bowel obstruction on my anniversary. At least this time it was just a partial and I didn't have to have surgery and I was released yesterday after everything was decompressed. But I learned first hand what I have to do with the diet. For me it was good to learn this before hand, I have been told I can be stubborn and I hated being in the hospital again, but I guess it was better now than it happening post-op. I also saw something I never want to see again, the look in my wife's eyes as I laid there in the ER as they worked on me. I don't ever want to see that again. I agree and understand that we cant do these things for someone else, that I have to do it for myself, but the look on her face, the sound of my Mom and Dad as I had to tell them I was in the hospital again, that is something I don't ever want to experience again. I am home now, very tired and weak, but at least I am home. I slept 14 hours after I got home yesterday. I am ready for them to call me to get this process moving forward, I don't want to go through this ever again.

[alignright][/alignright]I have decided not to tell many people either. I am a teacher and have had to miss quite a bit of work over the last year due to problems with my abdomen. My wife is a teacher as well and has had to deal with almost daily questions from our co-workers about me. I don't want her to have to deal with that on this personal issue as well. I have told my parents, my mother has been dealing with breast cancer and we have been a sounding board for each other, my wife and my daughter who lives at home. I will not tell anyone else, this is a personal decision, I am just telling others that this is surgery to remove scar tissue from my abdomen to work on other issues. As far as the weight loss, I will just tell them it is life style changes.