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Thank you very much. Truth be told, though.....it really hasn't felt much like work........yet. I know that point is coming, though. Trying to get my resolve all bolstered up and ready for the tough times. Happy dancing is much appreciated. 20" ????? Really???? I'm nodding my head in respect and shaking your hand. That is awesome !!!!! I just filled 5 lawn & garden trash bags full of clothes that I donated last week. Have another started and about 1/3 full. I'm so ready to downsize in every way, shape and form.

I had an abdominal hernia repaired at the same time of my sleeve surgery. It was a complete and total non-event (sleeve portion). Even the hernia wasn't near as bad as the two prior hernia repairs I've had. I was back at work 3 weeks later.....worked 6-8 hour days. Week 4 found me working 13+ hour days. Sleeve surgery will be a walk in the park for you.

Where I work......the HR folks would have informed my boss anyway. I didn't sweat the notification, though. I'm was under no illusion that the amount of weight I was planning on losing cold be explained away by saying, "I'm on a strict diet". I also couldn't care less what folks on my job think. I'm doing this for my health. FWIW.....I have yet to have a single person come up to me and not be fully supportive of my choice. They can see the obvious pain relief and overall improved health. I can't imagine a boss who wouldn't be enthused about an employee having this surgery. The employee will most assuredly become more productive and have improved attendance rates.

Did someone say sausage ? I bring bulk sausage when I make sauce. It's how I roll........

I wouldn't presume to understand all the dynamics at play in your marriage but can only say that I am sorry. There is no excuse for an abusive spouse. Heavy, thin or anything in between.....simply doesn't make it okay for that type of behavior. I've yet to see a perfect marriage....anywhere. I've known of some great ones, however, even they have challenges to work through. I'll wager the strongest marriages occur when both parties see, understand and value facing those challenges together in a mutually supportive way. When it comes down to it, though, I can only speak from my own personal experiences. You mention a low self esteem. I can relate to that very well, as can many here. I've been there and been there for a long time. It does shape the way you view yourself and it certainly alters your acceptance of behaviors in your spouse. If being overweight is one of the major factors in your lowered self esteem then you can certainly expect there to be some changes to occur in your level of acceptance and overall reaction to your spouse. You could, as I have, hide these feels for the most part.....mull them over....kick it around in your head and chose not to reveal them. At some point it will surface and you'll be faced with dealing with it. You will have to reconcile how the new you feels and what your ultimate wants and needs are. For me it is fairly simple. I want a wife who is passionate and loving. A woman who is self assured and proud of her accomplishments and embraces life's challenges head on. A sense of humor but yet the ability to seriously plan and organize resources as needed. I can say that there will be a number of changes that emerge along the path as your body makes it's changes. I didn't have the foresight to anticipate many of these changes. I jumped into the wls ring in order to fight the physical pains that were due to being too heavy. Much of this has improved as the fat has diminished. I wasn't expecting the self worth and sense of pride to soar like they did. I simply had never acknowledged they were low in the first place. I was just living my life with blinders on.....going through the daily routine in sort of a black & white movie sorta way. It's all changed now. Life is now like HD TV programming. Bright, vivid, bold, enticing. Everything is different, but mostly in a good way. I badly want to grasp the things that were slipping away. I want to experience life on better terms. I no longer limp around and endure the days......I stride with purpose and enthusiasm towards whatever is next. I was the guy in the initial wls seminars who shook his head in disbelief when the lecturer made statements on the alarming statistic of divorce among wls patients. They even did a mock division of the people in attendance....portioning off most in a visual way and proclaiming them the divorced people. I shook my head in disbelief and kick the silly notion to the side and went on to focus on the other information present on the types of surgeries available and the life changes inherent with each. I now no longer shake my head in disbelief. I better understand those statistics yet I fight becoming part of it. My best advice is to give yourself a period of time to heal, recover, lose, change and discover your new self along the way. Don't try to make any big life decisions for a period of time......be them relationship, job, moving, big purchases, etc. Take inventory of your needs and wants and see where you are. It is a process. Only you will no if this is 6 months, a year, two years..... Only you know what defines abuse or what defines simply not being fulfilled in your marriage. Abuse is a different story, though. That must be addressed immediately in many cases.

6 weeks or so, Splenda and Fairlife milk. Been going at it ever since. Good stuff.

Damn right ! Well said. Welcome back. Carpe diem !!!!!!!

Very normal to be having these thoughts. For most of my adult life I've not only been a big eater.....but a food prep fan. I absolutely love grilling, smoking and cooking outdoors and some inside, too. Love watching Guy Fieri's show and others. Thoroughly enjoy cooking for family and friends.....and coworkers. Had the surgery and wondered how I'd deal with my grilling hobby. For the first 8 weeks or so I avoided it. Soon after, though......I cooked some ribs and pulled pork for my family.....then some steaks......then some chicken.......over the weekends ahead. I find that I actually enjoy cooking for them now more than ever.......seriously. I even was talking to a good friend about my menu items for this coming week......going to make them some homemade mashed potatoes and all the killer ingredients I'll put in them. I make all this stuff and have zero desire to eat the carb-loaded stuff anymore. Just the Proteins. I'm perfectly content with that. As far as the plastics later on.........when the time comes I will address that and move on past it. No worries......just keep on progressing with my life.

Lived in Greenville for several years before moving further South. Miss the place for certain.

My biggest fear is a moving target. Prior to surgery.....my fear was that I had become a broken down old man.....defined by his pain and forever discovering new limitations and having to live within them. Leading up to the final days before the surgery my fear was that I would not be successful. Now.....4+ months later I have other concerns. I know for a fact that I'll reach my goal weight but fear what I'll look like when I do......how much excess skin? How much muscle can I pack on during this process with my bum shoulder and failed hernia repair? Where will the funds come from for the plastics that will be most likely? Will the plastics go smoothly and yield a good result ? My other fears are what will I become by then? Being reasonably pain free and feeling better has flooded me with relief. I don't get stressed about stuff anymore.....even stuff that maybe I should be stressed about. I simply can't be bothered with it. I want to be surrounded by positive people and laugh. I have fears that I'll make a blunder and seek their company and it will lead to a failed marriage that will impact my son at a crucial time in his development. I fear that the alternative may be to suck it up....stay in it for him.....and then resentment will grow and I become the grumpy bastard I was six months ago. I fear leading with my heart and not my head.......yet my head is warped by the old self image and low confidence......the heart never lies......yet it acts on impulse. I fear complacency. Now is a time with a heap of self improvement taking place and I never want to stop this. So many areas where I can improve.....I never want to let off the pedal on this. Mostly, I fear not living each day to it's full potential.

Right on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a period of 3-4 months last year where I couldn't put on my own socks and shoes. I had herniated a disc trying to lift stuff I had no business lifting....and used poor technique and was grossly out of shape.....pre-op. That injury and the pain that came from it was the final straw for me getting serious about weight loss and scheduling my sleeve surgery. Post-op healing....back to work.....still needed help to finished getting dressed for work every day. That bending while putting on my shoes was a trigger for the stabbing back pain. Surgery was in October 2015. This socks and shoe assistance bidness continued into December.....until I was finally able to sit on the edge of the bed and do it all by myself....like a big boy. Always seated on the bed, though. Only way I could. Well.....worked a 14 hour shift last night....stopped at the tanning salon on my way home (I know, right? Sasquatch looking dude in a tanning salon....WTH?).......stripped down and tanned......dressed......simply put my socks and shoes on while standing up. Walked out of there grinning......and squinting like hell......seems I'd wiped some lotion in my eyes at some point. As far as my reasons for tanning.......I've got a cruise coming up in several weeks and I don't want to get fried then.

I hope i can inspire someone the way you have me... You certainly have.

Excellent. Feels really good doesn't it !!!!!

I haven't experienced it yet.....hoping it stays away, too.

I completely understand. Eating too fast can do it every time. You'll learn to measure it out with your eyes first....and only eat the amounts that you should be at the various stages of your progress. You'll also learn to pace yourself through each meal. Getting full sucks. I try to never do it. Slow....steady....chew like hell and be the person who carries the conversation around the table. It takes a while before I was comfortable at meals in resturants. I much prefer sitting at their bars where it's more interactive with bartenders and TV's. I try to choose places that have a decent bar area.

There are other things I wish I'd done differently later on, too. Primarily.......I wish I'd carved out a minimum of 6 months of time that I blocked off and refrained from making ANY other life decisions and just spent that time working on me......my health......my self-improvement and getting my feet firmly planted on the ground. There are so many changes that will come to you so swiftly that it will make your head spin. Stay grounded and keep plowing away with your progress. Some of what I've learned has been very painful to discover but facing it will lead me to a better result that's in line with my original reasons for having wls.....simply getting healthy. Giving in to temptations along the way seems to easily draw me off the path I need to stay on.

So many responses here. I had this conversation with my surgeon and he is okay with how I proceeded. I waited a couple-three months before testing the waters.

Yes....yes I do. Craving nuts & cheeses and have to ensure that I carefully measure them out so they become a meal and not a snack. Can't fall back into the grazing habits.

I lost a heap of weight back in 2011 doing low carb and exercise......gained it all back after surgery recovery and lazy living. Always planned on getting it off again.....saved all the clothes from the lower weight, too. Back injury and other stuff last Spring/Summer made the exercise impossible and I had to get the weight off......enter the decision for wls. I don't regret having my sleeve surgery for a single second and would do it all over again in without a second thought.

You ask very similar questions I asked and was very glad I did. I bought a very comfortable & supportive recliner a couple weeks before surgery. I slept in it the first several days home from the hospital. Sure made it easier on my umbilical hernia repair that was also performed during my sleeve surgery. New Balance slip on sneakers that I could simply step in & out of were worth their weight in gold.

Same thing, here, as well. Sucks. Was talking to my sister about this phenomena .....a highly successful bypass patient (15 years post-op). She assured me that it'll pass as I taper off and hit my normal living at goal weight. She suggested I simply have it cut shorter and not worry about it.......easier for me, a guy, to handle. Taking some GNC MEN hair supplement. I don't have a clue if it helps....but I'm taking it anyway.

Congrats on this achievement. I was a long time smoker, too. Quitting was hard. Crazy hard. Making the changes to support wls were much easier, imho.

I've had some similar experiences.....week of hardcore discipline w/ no scale movement.....weekend of some excess celebrating and scale drops nicely...... For me it seems it's all about what type of momentum I have going on the past several days before it shows up on the scale. Congrats on having some fun on occasion. You aren't doing all this to live like a monk. Looking great in your pic. Keep smiling and keep moving forward !!!