Callisto

Good luck to you! Hang in there, morning is on it's way.

@Mersh I noticed that earlier that you are down a lot so that is something to really be excited about. You are down what I need to lose. You are down half of a short chick. You can look at it that way. lol I like water, which is good, but I can see how I could potentially get really tired of it if it is not winter. It gets hot in the summer so it is not a problem to down a bunch of water. Of course, downing water and sipping water are different and I am having trouble remembering to sip my water. That may be self-correcting like the soda. And the eating too fast. Oh my goodness, I come from a family that eats so fast and I wonder how many years I embarrassed myself before I realized it was abnormal lol! However, even toning that down has been hard - but it is something I have been working on. Chewing, also a problem previously has become better since I had my gallbladder out a few years ago, for some reason my stomach does not empty or break the food down like it used to so not to be so bloated I now chew the hell out of my food. Carbonation + WLS = a sad C1ndy I will remember that lol!

Mine said they may not do the pre-op diet with me because my weight is just 8-10 pounds away from what I can weigh BUT I have myself a big old fatty liver that needs to be out of the way. Maybe they are just going to do an extra incision because of that. I asked the nurse if it was going to be an issue if my liver was in the way and she said no. I will talk the surgeon the week before surgery and ask again. I am trying to do little baby steps here and there just to try to prepare myself. I kind of wish I was doing the pre-op diet so I won't be so shocked afterwards. Maybe I can mix my liquid shakes with half and half before even though that won't do a single thing for my liver.

September 18th! I am glad to be around people who are having surgery around the same time. I don't get to get online that much but I hope I can follow some of you and your progress.

You are trying and that is what counts. Baby steps. Then the steps get bigger and bigger, right?

The whole BFF thing. I was just thinking about that yesterday. Every week I meet with my bosses and co-workers and we eat lunch for our staffing meeting. There are times when I do skip lunch because I just can't possibly eat at that moment so I know what it is like to choose to sit there and watch everyone else eat. My boss brought that up when I talked about this two years ago, about eating together might be hard for me. But maybe I can make it up - sometimes I bring just yogurt just to see if I can handle eating yogurt while they eat their big old burger or whatever it is. Sometimes I have to skip eating because my blood sugar is high so I know if forced to - that I can skip eating with them. BUT YET - it is such a comfort thing to eat with people we are close to. Everything revolves around food - our BFF. Even if we are alone - there is always food. I was never really able to tell if I was an emotional eater or just an OCD eater. When I am happy I eat more when things are bad I don't have an appetite, but they have to be pretty darn bad to get to that point. THe divorce diet is always nice for a little while. lol So, maybe I will have a farewell lunch with my co-workers. Where I get to eat bad with them one more time. Just as a "good bye last meal." Yesterday I ate a quarter of my food and did not drink with my meal during our staffing meeting. Also, yesterday, I got hungry in the late afternoon and I had half of one of those peanut butter pouches. I knew I wanted the rest because it tasted good but I didn't need more than half to satisfy me. Little things here and there.

Thanks for the laugh out loud this morning. I found myself so intrigued by the drama that I think I just lost 30 minutes of work related time. I can see the message boards may be more problematic for me than the actual eating part post surgery - that is a joke, I think. Lord, please let that be a joke. I totally got the sarcasm right off. Although, I did imagine a surgeon and a patient fighting with knives for a moment. Like some super ninja moves and then he gutted you. LOL So morbid. Sorry. So, I can see why you might feel jealous. Like when you see someone else's body is more offended by food than your own then you are thinking - great, why can't my body reject things a little? I have not had surgery yet but I hope my body rejects a little more than I am rejecting on my own right now because the surgery isn't a cure all - it is a tool. I can also see some (er a lot) of it is mind over matter. For instance, I love diet mountain dew. LOVE IT. ADDICTED TO IT. MY BODY DOES NOT NEED IT TO LIVE but my mind craves it. I have got it cut down to to one a day from something like 6 a day or more. I don't know - I was drinking Big Gulps like they were going out of style. My boss pays for my food when I am in the "field" so now he is going to save a lot of money on big gulps now that I am having surgery. He may be paying for expensive waters instead, lol. I have upped my water intake. It has been a mental thing but I hope after surgery that if I decide to drink a sip of diet and get sick then I will be thankful. I would rather be forced into quitting than just doing it on my own mentally - hopefully the physical reaction deters me also. Like we are hoping that there is an actual physical change. But what if my body does not reject diet mountain dew?? ACK! Then I am going to be cussing up a storm because I literally have to mentally say good bye to it without the physical reaction. Another instance, that if you can step out side the box for a moment with me is that I love sugar. I especially love birthday cake and ice cream and there are a lot of birthdays in this family haha! Since I am type 2 diabetic, without insulin, if I eat the cake then I am "sugar drunk." Sugar drunk is an awful feeling of high blood sugar, racing heart, dead tired, dragging my feet, don't want to move but yet I can't sleep. While my mother is over there eating all the cake she wants and shoots up with insulin afterwards. I am a little jealous. I don't want to be on insulin but sometimes I wish I had insulin. I am jealous of people who can tolerate cake. I have to skip the cake, be sad in my mind, mourn the loss of my cake because my body will reject it and I have to work and be a productive member of society not sugar drunk. lol Ok, my point is that I get it. You want that physical reaction and rejection to take place to help you in your mental state - not saying that you can't do it, just that you are saying you really have to rely on the mental factor. I get the feed back from my body telling me NO CAKE, C1NDY, not today, sister. You are saying you are jealous of that feeling in others when they eat. In the same way I understand the mourn of making the mental decision not to eat something that I *can* tolerate. Did I even make sense? Sometimes I can't type what I am thinking. Physical reaction + mental reaction = yay Mental reaction - physical reaction = dannnng it I dunno, talk to me after surgery, then I might be able to make a better equation to what you are saying. You got this, you really are not eating too much and it sounds like you get a lot of protein, and you take it one mental step at a time if you are not getting the physical reaction. You test it out and learn, right?

I am glad to read these posts because my hubby and I also had this discussion. I am 4'11" so that makes me in the vertically challenged group also. My doctor asked me what my goal weight is and I said 120 and he said that was not unreasonable. I think more than the 120 is the weight my body "likes". That would be the weight where my blood pressure is normal, my type 2 diabetes is in check, my fatty liver is gone, and sleep apnea is hopefully gone also. I don't want to be a walking stroke waiting to happen anyday at just 43 years old. If I am 130 and those things are in check then that is ok with me also. I hope as I lose that I can be more active and not have as much pain in my back. I exercise now but I hope to pick it up more as I lose and then I might shape into something better than what I have now. What would stink is if I lost down to 130 and I could not get under 130 and I still have an ill body. Reading these posts reminds me not to fixate on that 120 number.

I think these things about myself too. I find myself correcting myself from "I should" "I would" to saying "I will." At least you aware of your demons cause then you can confront them head on. I have had some time to correct a few things because I am type 2 diabetic and not on insulin I have to MAKE myself, and sometimes fail, not gorge on something like Chinese - it is self correcting because I hate the feeling of being "sugar drunk." Or I can't eat too many carbs but trust me when I say I am fat cause I still make bad choices like how am I going to give up butter?????? And no straw?? And no diet mountain dew? We get all caught up in these unhealthy habits and it is going to take some undoing after surgery. Some of it will be self-correcting, I bet. I don't know. I am in the same boat, though, surgery is Sept 18 for me. And of course, here is me saying, go eat that chinese if you can for just this moment. I miss chinese food, especiall Thai. Good for you for kicking tobacco and alcohol. You must have a pretty strong determination if you got past those things.

Do you know how excited I am that I just happened to log in and see your post? I almost had to make sure I was not looking at my own profile. I am also 4'11" and roughly 185 and getting my surgery on 8/18! I am getting the sleeve, though. When I first started this whole thing I wanted to do RNY to reverse the diabetes but...I chickened out. I am not on the boards very much but I hope to continue to follow you! I am also proud of you for doing this NOW. I am ten years older and ten years older with this weight has created quite a few medical issues over the years. And it is awesome that your husband is going through the same journey.

I am on two pills that have bad withdrawals so this is a concern of mine as well.

You and I are almost in the same boat except I have not been approved yet - it was just submitted last week to insurance. I am 4'11" and I am 184 pounds. My weight history is varied and I am 43 years old and really struggled since 27 when i had my last baby (17 years ago lol). I have been on weight watchers too many times to count. I have tried so many diets. During these 17 years I got down to about 137 twice, once right after I had the baby and went on WW and another time when I was going through the divorce diet. Most of the time I have been about 170 but up and down up and down, total yo-yo diet and up to 189. When I was 189 last time they denied me two years ago because the previous year I dropped below my BMI while on prescription weight loss pills. So I thought here I would try it again two years later as I am at 184. My cut off is like 174. The other day I was 179 because of the new blood pressure med I am on is making me pee tons. I am back up, though. I am so close to my BMI that the pre - op diet could screw me up. So number one: I have never been able to keep the weight off myself. Number two: I have never been low enough to make my medical issues decline. Number three: I would like to lose weight and decrease my medications eventually. I can lose 60 pounds and be close to my goal weight of 120. I have type 2 diabetes, no insulin. I am headed that way. I hope to be off metformin with wls. I have osteoarthritis in my back and neuropathy in my feet and hoping that by losing that I can be off the Lyrica I take or at least decrease it! High blood pressure: It was 200/120 the other day - tell me now that I am too close to the cut off even if it is 60 pounds? Right? So with the new BP meds I am on I am closer to a normal BP range, but still I hope with WLS I can decrease my BP enough to be off meds. Sleep apnea: again WLS should help Fatty Liver (non-alcoholic): I am sure it is all the cheese I eat. lol! But he told me five years ago if I don't lose weight that in 10 years I was looking at the beginning of cirrhosis, hows that for scary. I am probably forgetting something but that should be enough. My point is, even if you don't have much to lose, check out your past history and take into account your health and how WLS will be a tool to help you manage your weight loss. My daughter said if I get denied: "Can't you just send a picture of yourself to the insurance company and they can see your body?" HAHA! It is true though, if they saw how I carry my weight in my waist and arms, upper back, they could tell I look like diabetic headed for a stroke. That is my 60 pound story. If I was 100 pounds over weight I would probably be dead. Technically I could weight 100 pounds and still be in my weight range but 120ish is the goal.

I am so, so, so disappointed. I started this process last December. I had to go through the Psych Eval, the three - nearly four months, of seeing the dietician, support meetings, etc. Finally the letter came back from the insurance company that my surgery for RNY has been denied. I am 4' "11' and 185 pounds or so. My BMI over 35 and I have to have at least two co-morbidities. You name it, I have it. My body hates to be fat. I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, diabetic neuropathy in my feet, fatty liver disease, repeated issues with UTI's because of my blood sugar, I am diabetic and I know my endocrinologist is going to make me go on insulin this week - it totally sucks. They denied me because my two years of weight history shows my BMI as under 35. I was on two different prescription weight loss pills that my Endocrinologist prescribed - of course my weight was down. However, I did not like how either of those pills made me feel. One made me feel too jittery, heart racing and unable to concentrate while the other one worked for awhile - it stopped working and made me way too lethargic. My GI doctor was the one who told me over 2.5 years ago, when my BMI wasn't quite 35, that if I did not take the weight off that in ten years I would be looking at cirrhosis of the liver, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. That is when my endo put me on the weight loss pills. AS usual, I gain it back. So while I am 2.5 years into my fatty liver and I am closer to the 10 year mark and my insurance company denies me. Anyway, any tips on appealing Federal Blue Cross Blue Shield?