notateechanow

I wrote that over 2 years ago. Since then....I've had a major slip, my band unclamped, gained about 40 pounds, and finally re-clamped my band. I've worked my a$$ off---literally. I'm getting married in 54 days and the only thing I can't do is waddle down the aisle large again. I'm almost the size I want to be, but about 20 pounds heavier. I'm working with a trainer and my dietician to get there....
I had a fill today. I think it's important you get over the embarrassment and go back to the doctor. Remember that s/he works FOR YOU! This is and should be all about YOU!!! Maybe it's time to schedule with your dietician, if one is available. Go back to the basics. Are you eating in the right order? Measuring what you eat? Drinking only before you eat? Journaling what you eat?
I believe what you said about the office not reaching out is likely the reason many offices don't do banding. We are labor-intensive compared to the GB patients. Just remember that you've gone through this long process to lose weight. This is all about you and your willingness to change your life. When you're ready to get back at it, your band is still there. Just don't let embarrassment keep you from getting the medical care you need. You've worked too hard to let that happen. Good luck! Keep me posted!!!

I'm sorry to see no one responded to your post! Let me begin by telling you my own father always told me that no man could or would ever love a fat woman.....so I share your struggles with how men perceive us to be. I also have many male friends who joke that large women give better oral sex. (sorry if that's too graphic, but I'm being honest and direct here....ladies, if that's news to you, step back and watch what they want from you!!!) Because of both of these reasons, I've had a really hard time trying to figure out why a man would want to go out with me----until I had a few tell me. The results were surprising, and might be helpful for you! They enjoyed my company. They think I'm cute and want to get to know me better. Ummmm hello?! Yep. It's hard to hear and even harder to believe, but I'm still working on digesting it.
I've struggled with dating. I started this journey with a live-in boyfriend. He encouraged me to do this and was the only person whom I confided in when I decided to do it. Needless to say, when my eating habits changed, it became painfully apparent that he and I had little else in common, other than eating.
I starting dating a few months after moving out from our house. The first few dates were hard primarily because I wasn't emotionally ready. Then, once emotionally ready, I had a tough time eating. I started making dates for the strange time after meals so I wouldn't be expected to eat. I go out for coffee even though I don't drink coffee! I'm still working on digesting this whole transformation. Mine has been slow but I'm a work in progress.
I've been on a dating website and still worry that when men see me, they won't find me attractive. My pictures on the site are all recent but I still have that fear-----that rejection awaits when they finally see me. At my support group we talked at length about being intimate and whether or not you tell the men you've had surgery. Honestly, I've asked my guy friends about this---if a man is naked with you, he's definitely NOT looking at skin, stretch marks or scars. He's just so damned happy you're naked with him that he's hoping to have a good performance!
Little by little, you'll grow to respect yourself more and feel better about yourself when you've heard it enough times. I'm still working on it, but it's a struggle worth winning....I hope your dating is going well. It's been a while since you originally posted.

I miss you guys! I've been really struggling. I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week, working out with a trainer 2 of those days, and doing around 4-5 miles each time. (I work for 20 miles a week now...) Needless to say, I'm 'home'---back here. I am hoping that being back on here will give me the needed push to work on this. I've been trying to add more Protein and work at eating more. I remember this horrible up 2, down 3 phase the first time around and I'm not liking it any more this time than last. Course, this time around I have a wedding to worry about! I've been trying to make it to a meeting, but I just don't see that happening right now.
I know I'm not the only one struggling and miss commiserating with all of you. Hope 2012 has been a good year for all of you thus far....

I use my TOM to my advantage and stick to Protein Drinks for 2-3 days. I also never get a fill within a week of when TOM is due...I always opt to get it afterwards.

Wow...a couple of things here...
First, it's totally normal to be more hungry when you workout, even without the band. Your body metabolizes food faster when you're moving around, thus making it work through your system faster. Be careful NOT to drink until at least an hour after a meal. That should slow it down a little. Also, have something small to eat if you are hungry after working out, but be sure it's something higher in Protein. Protein will stay with you longer and make you feel satiated.
My doctor told me not to agonize over losing only 2-3 pounds in a month as we're still "looking for my sweet spot". He explained that until I'm where I need to be, I'm really just dieting without help. Sure, we all know that the band is/should be helping along the way, but it's not worth stressing over. Be sure your foods are solids....don't make the mistake I did of eating yogurt and cottage cheese because they're high in protein. They don't stay with you and are considered to be liquid. Eat solids slowly and let them sit in your stomach. I liked the funnel anaolgy. If you put food into the funnel (your modified stomach) and let it work it's way through, it's going to serve you far better than if you run the Water and push it through....
I haven't lost much weight, but I've been exercising. I thought you guys might find it amusing to know---NO LIE---my nutritionist told me to CUT BACK ON THE WORKING OUT!!!! Not something I ever expected. I was doing about 45 minutes of circuit training plus 45 minutes of jogging/walking a day, at least 5 to 6 days a week. Oh, and would it make you feel better to know that I lost 4 pounds that month?! Yes..only 4. LOL. Then, after cutting back, as directed, I only lost 3--just as I anticipated! I was an athlete in college and my body is accustomed to working out 2-3 hours a day. Granted, that was nearly 14 years ago, but once programmed....it's hard to get out of that. Obviously I don't have the time or energy to do that at this age. This is why my nutritionist told me to find some physical activity that would be something sustainable. Meaning, in 3-4 years time, I'll still want/be able to keep it up. Don't make life changes you aren't willing to maintain. They'll just set you up for failure and disappointment.
Good luck to all of us! I hope that knowing we're not alone in our frustration makes you all feel as good as it does me. I appreciate your sharing. :smile2:

Hey there, Cajun.
The most important part of all of this is to STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! SO many other people in this world will do that for you. I was once told at at Weight Watchers meeting that most of the people in their program--losers and gainers--were perfectionists. How could that be? Wouldn't I be perfectly following the plan if I were a perfectionist? No. Truth be told, when you're a perfectionist, you want everything to be perfect. When one thing throws you off your original plan, you scrap it and vow to start again. For some, that's tomorrow, but for most, it's Monday. Why Monday? Who knows, but it's a convenient excuse. I read someone's posting earlier today about working WITH the band, not against it and she mentioned the excuses. Stop using them to beat yourself up.
You've made the big step of surgically altering your body to lose weight. You now have to believe you're worth the rest of the energy, time, and planning it requires to stay on plan. Find an activity--it doesn't have to be in a gym--that you might actually enjoy, even if it's just to have a friend walk for 10 minutes with you and talk you through it. Build it up slowly..but most importantly, get moving. Think of this as time you give to yourself. You should find something that you like to do--even if it's walking in a mall! Stop as often as you need. You needn't buy anything or even stop in any stores. Stop at every bench you need. Next time, try to go a little farther and skip every other bench. Working out doesn't have to be the torture it's always been for us. It can be social, and it can be fun. You just need to find something that engages you.
As far as the food goes, make every day a new challenge. If you usually like icecream every day, move to a few times a week. Switch to a lower fat version. Weight Watchers now makes 4 oz cups. Can't overeat if you only buy a small amount and don't have the rest in your house. Enable yourself to be successful, not to binge. Set yourself up to succeed. Get rid of crappy foods that you know you shouldn't have OR buy small portions that don't allow you to binge. Like chocolate? Buy a small sample at the store and that's it. If it's too much effort to go back to the store to get more, you're less likely to eat it.
All things considered, we all react differently to the band. Some lose weight fast, others not so much. I, like you, have really struggled....but surprisingly, have come to enjoy working out. I work out every day so even if I lose the battle in my kitchen, I've won somehow. It doesn't entirely balance itself out, but it's the small victories. This isn't a panacea for all that ails you. The band works for those who use it properly. Stop beating yourself up and let it go. When you can start to forgive yourself for minor transgressions, you'll feel better. Figure out what's eating you and you'll feel better. Good luck. I'm glad you posted your story. I think that took a lot of courage. :redface: Thank you.