sang63

Recovery from Obesity is a choice and, while your Recovery is unique, the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery are not. What that means is, you determine what matters most in your life and then choose HOW to use the ingredients (Awareness, Acceptance, Commitment, Attitude, Accountability, and Effort) to live fully.
Before we get much further, let’s explain what we mean by “Recovery from Obesity.”


Is Recovery from Obesity…
…being skinny? No.
.,..a number on the scale? No.
…being cured and never having to worry about weight again? No.
Is Recovery improved health and quality of life? Yes.
Recovery from Obesity is learning to live life on life’s terms by making the next wise choice one day at a time. Recovery from Obesity is following the Recipe for Recovery to live FULLY and become your healthiest physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You choose HOW to use the ingredients in the Recipe for Recovery to create your own healthy life! Recovery is a mindset, so it’s up to you to come to terms with the good, the bad and the ugly!
THE POST-OP: My Recovery journey began when I lost weight (the good), but stalled when I came face-to-face with the realities of the disease of obesity and my compulsive overeating (the bad and the ugly). I wanted to be cured of obesity and hoped surgery would do the trick. I wanted to be “normal” and didn’t want to worry about gaining weight again. I quickly learned that there is no such thing as “normal” and had to decide whether I wanted to spend my life worrying about gaining weight, or managing my obesity. The choice was mine, and I chose Recovery, starting with AWARENESS of my disease. Since then, I have had to ACCEPT some difficult realities.
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned to ACCEPT about myself:
I ACCEPT that I do not have an “OFF” switch around certain foods. Once I start, I won’t stop until I am sick or run out of food. Therefore, I ACCEPT that those foods are off limits for me. Period.
I ACCEPT that I have shrinkles on my belly, butt and legs. Needless to say, I choose not to wear a bikini.
I ACCEPT that I cannot take anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDs) to treat my joint pain because I had weight loss surgery and am prone to ulcers.
I ACCEPT that I am susceptible to anemia and Vitamin deficiency and must be vigilant about taking my Iron and supplements.< br> I ACCEPT that I don’t like to workout, but I know I have to if I want to be healthy.

That’s the short list of stuff I had to come to terms with (ACCEPT) if I wanted what I said I wanted in my life – to live fully, free from the unhealthy obsession with food and weight. Of course, these are just “physical” things. Doc, what about the mental and emotional realities in Recovery?
THE DOC: As Cari very often says, obesity is “all about the food but is not about the food.” Clearly, food is part of the problem when one is obese, and yet, obesity is so much more than just the food. For example, some people are “emotional eaters,” turning to food when they are upset, angry, bored, worried, etc. They eat in response to feelings. In this case, it’s not really about the food. Learning to deal with emotions in healthy ways is the issue!
If you are an emotional eater, then choose to ACCEPT the following:
ACCEPT that food is an unhealthy way to cope with feelings.
ACCEPT that you may need to learn about healthy coping skills via reading books and articles or, you may need to attend therapy.
ACCEPT that there may be unresolved issues related to the learned behavior of turning to food as a coping skill and ACCEPT that in order to live fully in Recovery from Obesity you will need to address those underlying issues.

Relationships often change after a person loses a significant amount of weight. It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with their thoughts and feelings related to the changes that seem to be brought about by weight loss. If you are struggling with relationships after losing weight, whether they are marital, friendship or family relationships:
ACCEPT that changes in relationships are common after weight loss.
ACCEPT that the changes need to be addressed openly and directly, that feelings need to be acknowledged and discussed, and that wants and needs change for people.
ACCEPT that sometimes people need help from a professional to get through periods of significant change in relationships.

“Self” often changes after weight loss surgery… self-esteem, self-image, and self-efficacy. Along with the changes in “self”:
ACCEPT that these changes can affect one in positive ways and in potentially unhealthy ways.
ACCEPT that others may accept or reject the changes, may Celebrate or dismiss the changes, may change with your or may choose not to change.
ACCEPT that you may feel uncomfortable with the changes as your body and mind adjust to them.

People sometimes report being disillusioned about not being “happy” after losing weight, which they expected they would be. If this is the case for you:
ACCEPT that “happiness” is an inside job and not based solely on your weight, size, appearance.
ACCEPT that there are other aspects of yourself to explore including your personality traits, your talents, your interests, your behavior toward self and others.
ACCEPT that “happiness” is closely related to your thoughts, then examine your thought patterns and ACCEPT that only YOU can choose if they will be positive or not!

Obviously, we could write for days about how ACCEPTANCE of the “good, the bad and the ugly” is a necessary part of Recovery from Obesity. What do you need to ACCEPT in order to move closer to obtaining those things related to obesity that are the most meaningful to you? What do you need to ACCEPT that is directly about the food and what do you need to ACCEPT that is not directly related to food, but does affect your eating and exercise habits?
Stick with the winners, get outside help when you need to, stay open-minded, use the ingredients of the Recipe for Recovery to live the healthy life you want…AND, be sure to join us daily on our Facebook page for ongoing motivation, education and inspiration. You can’t do this alone, and no one can do it for you!

Eight years ago, I weighed twice what I weigh today. Thanks to bariatric surgery, I’ve lost 116 pounds. Sometimes I look in the mirror and still see Fat Jean. And sometimes I look in the mirror and see Slim Jean, and I think “What the heck happened?”


What happened is that, as an acquaintance once said, I’ve lost an entire person. And what also happened is that I’ve gained an entire person. One who likes to dress in nice clothes that show off her nice parts. One who longer wishes she were invisible, is willing to chat with complete strangers, and can drive past McDonald’s and not feel French fries pulling her into the drive-through line.
And this is a person who’s willing to try new things, even as my hair grows silver and my mind and body grow slower and my energy diminishes…but so far, it hasn’t diminished to my pre-op activity level: sitting for hour after hour in a big, soft armchair with a mystery novel and 2 small dogs on her lap and a bag of potato chips within easy reach. Please God, don’t ever let me return to that!
But it’s not God’s job to prevent that. It’s my job. Forever and ever, amen. Because this journey never ends. And that’s OK. Because the day I take this weight loss and my new, energized, interesting life for granted is the day my Bandwagon veers off the road and into a deep, deep ditch. I’m determined to stay on the WLS path. I marvel almost every day not just at my size 4 wardrobe but at my mostly wonderful quality of life.
So please don’t be discouraged if, despite WLS, you find yourself plodding down the road hand in hand with your old food devils or trapped on a weight loss plateau. Sometimes we need to revisit old places, if only to help us remember how far we’ve come and motivate us to climb the next hill.

Making the decision to have weight loss surgery is a very big deal. It seems obvious to say that when someone agrees to weight-loss surgery they're desperate for help to change the way they're living, or not fully living their lives. Everyone goes into the procedure ready and willing to surgically alter their anatomy hoping for a better future.


So why is it that so many will fall short of losing the optimal amount of weight for their health and will actually regain within 3 years much if not all of the weight they lost? Some studies say 1/3 of patients will regain most of their weight post-surgery. I think the number is actually higher because many people who regain simply fall out of contact with their bariatric surgeon and support staff because they feel ashamed, so the statistics do not include these people. So, why do most people regain the weight? What can you do to help insure that you will be one of the successful long-term losers of your excess weight? By examining why people fail you can create a plan for how you will succeed.
The government agency, National Institutes for Health (NIH) defines weight-loss surgery as "merely a tool that helps people get a new start toward maintaining long-term good health. The surgery alone will not help someone lose weight and keep it off. Together with a reduced-calorie and low-fat diet and daily exercise, surgery will help an individual lose weight and maintain the weight loss.” Please read that a few times. That is how important this quote is! The surgery alone will not help someone lose weight and keep it off.
We as weight-loss surgery patients have a history of seeking comfort, happiness and pleasure through food. We wouldn't be here if that weren't true. Me included. The process of surgically altering our anatomies does nothing to remove from us the tendency to seek comfort in familiar ways but assures there will be physical suffering if we do. Post-surgery we will still have the same brain that is used to comforting us with food, and we will still have the fingers and the arms that are used to lifting food to the same mouth to find comfort and pleasure. It is critically important that the WLS patient seek out new ways to soothe, comfort, and find pleasure in their world other than by eating.
ONE main reason patients regain their weight is they search for ways to get around the surgery, still thinking of food as primarily a source of pleasure, not a source of fuel that can be pleasurable. This is often done relying on liquid calories, which may pass more easily, like high calorie coffee or juice bar drinks or alcohol. This is also done post-operatively by trying to maintain the presence of “trigger foods” in their lives. “Trigger foods” are often foods from the patient's past that helped cause obesity, do not satisfy hunger but instead create a craving. Many are high-calorie and highly processed, not nutritious. Trigger foods can include chocolate, chips, crackers, bread, Cookies, ice cream, pudding, lattes, frapuccinos and alcoholic beverages. Really, any food can be a “trigger food” if there is so much pleasure in the “mouth-feel” or taste that repeating the pleasurable experience takes on more importance than actually feeding hunger. Very successful patients cultivate a mostly trigger-free post- surgical life. Bariatric surgeons and the NIH know the most common reason for regain and the most common post- surgical complication is “noncompliance.” Non-compliance is a fancy word that means the patient is not eating and exercising the way he/she agreed to before surgery. These people “talk the talk.” The successful patient “walks the walk” after surgery and changes how they eat and move.
A SECOND reason people often regain beginning in the second or third year post-op is that the “honeymoon” is over. The “honeymoon” generally encompasses the first 12 to 18 months post- surgery. During this time many patients will say, "I could eat all the chocolate and ice cream I wanted and still lose weight. I didn't have to try and the weight just came off.” This is often true because the body has been through such a shock after surgery that it takes months for the body to reset itself and learn to function with its' new physiology. Patients who regain their weight often believe that this “honeymoon period” is the new way that it will always be and don't adopt healthy eating patterns. So when their “honeymoon period” ends as it will they believe that the surgery has somehow failed them. In reality they have failed their surgery! During the first 12-18 months post-op it is essential to develop healthy patterns around food and exercise. This is the time when it is actually easiest to do and to not do so wastes a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to begin a great new life with positive momentum.
A THIRD reason many patients regain much of their lost weight is a lack of support. Humans are social animals and we desire and need the support of each other throughout our lives. For thousands, if not tens of thousands, of years people coming together as a family or a community over food has been a way we connect with each other. Post-surgery, when the patient isn't able to eat what others are eating or in the quantities others are eating, or others are eating their 'trigger foods”, life can feel very stressful and lonely. This can be compounded by being around unsupportive people or people who want to be supportive but don't know how. Patients fail by not surrounding themselves with supportive people in a safe environment where they also must be accountable for their actions and behavior with food and their bodies. It is key to have a community of professionals and non-professionals who understand the challenges and hardships faced by those carving a new life with a new anatomical structure. There are online and in-person support groups. Even patients who've gone abroad for weight loss surgery can often use the support services available with their local medical group's Bariatric department. Creating relationships that support and assist you in becoming a healthier person and that hold you accountable for making healthy choices are key.
These are my top three. What would you add to this list? What plan will you create to deal with the items you add to this list? Who will support you on this journey of your life.....for your life?

Many people describe emotional eating as a special type of eating. The truth may be that emotional eating isn’t really special at all. What seems special and mysterious about emotional eating is that it’s often insidious and not at all obvious. We don’t necessarily feel anxious (for example) and think to ourselves; “I’m very upset right now so I am going to have some ice cream.” It is more likely that we feel anxiety and our brain just steers us to the refrigerator because we’ve practiced that behavior so many times before. This is called a habit. In this way, emotions are just one trigger for eating no different than any other.


For example: If you are in the habit of having a snack while watching television at night, any time you watch television at night, you are likely to experience a desire to eat shortly after you sit down. Are you “in the mood” to eat? Not necessarily. Are you experiencing positive or negative emotions that are triggering a desire to eat? Not necessarily. Are there food cues on television that planted the urge to eat in your mind? Not necessarily. All that happened was that you sat down and turned on the television. But if you’ve sat in front of a television while having a snack over 5,000 times in the past, there’s a very high probability that you will want a snack in situation 5,001.
Emotions, like television are cues. Another word for cue is “stimulus.” If you keep repeating the behavior of eating while watching television, eating eventually becomes a “response” to watching television. This is called Pavolvian Conditioning, which you may remember from a psychology class in high school or college. After enough pairings of television/eat or feel anxious/eat, the occurrence of one triggers the occurrence of the other.
However, there is another part of the story. For the vast majority of us, the immediate consequence of eating is quite positive. Food tastes good and eating feels good. We enjoy eating in restaurants. We enjoy all of the many flavors and textures of food and eating. It is those positive consequences of eating that keep us coming back for more. Learning that occurs through the experience of consequences is called Operant Conditioning. So emotions can be a cue for eating and they can also be a response to eating. Generally, when people speak about emotional eating, they are referring to unpleasant emotions as a stimulus for eating and temporary relief from those unpleasant emotions that the act of eating provides.
When we eat certain foods in response to an emotional cue we often feel better. When you’re upset and you have a bit of chocolate (for example) you experience some pleasure from the taste of the chocolate and perhaps a little relief from your unpleasant feelings. The “pleasant taste” and “relief from unpleasant feelings” reward the behavior of eating and strengthen it over time. If you eat chocolate here and there it’s not a problem. If you do it too often, and rely upon eating as a means of coping with unpleasant emotions, it can quickly become a big problem. It is interesting to note that the “feeling a little better” part is usually quickly replaced with the “feeling guilty and upset with myself” part. This demonstrates how powerful experiencing positive consequences and getting relief from negative emotions can be in maintaining a behavior. But if we know that in the long term this type of eating is unhealthy and self-destructive, why can’t we stop? Why can’t we just learn to let ourselves feel a little uncomfortable or learn other coping strategies? You can. It just takes a greater sense of awareness and a lot of practice. It also requires a change in how we think about emotions.
In our culture, we put our emotions or feelings on a pedestal. We tend to worship our emotions and feelings and talk about them with reverence. We try to break them down and understand and change them, and while there may be some benefit to expending all of this time and effort, with regards to eating, it may be simpler to just think of emotions as just another cue for eating…no different than watching television. So what can you do about emotional eating?
The first step in addressing emotional eating is to learn to be aware that you’re doing it WHEN you’re doing it. Think of it as “freezing time.” Not only is this the first step, it is also the most important step. It is not possible to proceed to the other steps without mastering this step first. In fact, for many people, just noticing that they are eating in response to an emotional cue is enough to stop. Make it a habit to stop for 30 seconds just before every episode of eating. “Freeze time” and ask yourself, “What am I doing? Am I hungry? Am I upset? Am I bored? What am I experiencing that is leading me to want to eat?” Maybe it’s not an emotion at all. Perhaps you’re hungry. Perhaps you can notice that you’re watching television and it’s as simple as that. If it is an emotion, try to figure out which one it is. Anger? Anxiety? Sadness? Depression? See if you can put a name to what you are feeling so that you can identify your specific stimuli or cues for eating. Consider keeping an emotional eating diary and write down whatever emotions/feelings you experience before you eat, every time you eat.
The second step is to sit with the emotion. Now that you’ve frozen time, just experience the emotion you are feeling. Observe it and think about it a little. Notice the physical sensations in your body. Survey the thoughts you are having in conjunction with the feeling. Be present. Maybe even have a dialogue with yourself about it as if you’re watching yourself from above. “Gee that’s interesting. I’m feeling a little nervous about that meeting I have tomorrow and here I am holding a chocolate donut in my kitchen. Wow, I sure have done this many times before. It’s funny. I do really want this donut right now and I’m not even sure why. I wonder what’s going on? My muscles feel a bit tight. I’m thinking about what I’m going to say at the meeting and who will be there. I’m a little uncomfortable, but it’s not really that bad.”
The third step is to practice walking away from the kitchen and considering an alternative to eating that actually better addresses the emotion you’re experiencing. While chocolate donuts may taste good and eating one may temporarily provide a calming effect, it also provides a whole lot of unnecessary calories and chocolate donuts have never been clinically proven to enhance one’s ability to prepare for a business meeting.
Depending on the emotion, there are a number of strategies that could be helpful. Some strategies help with many emotions. Going for a walk, calling a friend, and trying a brief relaxation strategy can help with anxiety, depression and anger. There are an endless number of strategies that you can discover that actually help reduce the emotional upset you are experiencing much better than eating and with fewer weight and health consequences.
This is a big leap for many people. We hold emotions to be sacred and mysterious things and while they are a special part of the human experience, with regards to eating it may be helpful to think of them as just another cue or stimulus…no different than watching television. If you can make that leap then it’s just a matter of becoming more aware of when eating in response to emotions is occurring and learning new responses to replace eating as a means of coping. You’ll feel better that you did!