LovinSoul

I'm not really resentful.. the attention is sometimes a little weird for me.. I've always dressed well, worked out.. and done my makeup and hair.. but I actually feel pretty. I've always been told I had a good personality.. I don't really blame anyone.. I'm superficial at times myself.

Good that you never had that resentment going on, but @@OKCPirate I do experience that resentment. When people who used to look right through me in social situations now find it appropriate to comment on my appearance, I find it so amazingly rude. For me it highlights the fact that they have serious issues surrounding appearances (particularly weight) as it relates to me specifically. But, of course, so must I if I resent it so much. So there you go! I'd like to say appearances don't matter to me, but clearly I'm concerned about them as well. I hope I never made someone feel invisible, though. That is just such a bad way to feel.

Would it be wrong of me to suggest you not describe this wonderful feeling as "vanity" but perhaps as pride in yourself for a well-done success? I also find myself taking more time with my appearance than I have for many years and, personally, I think this is a sign I am mentally healthier. Self-esteem is important and we gain it when we've made a hard and needed change,which you have done! Don't call it vanity. Everyone appreciates positive regard. It's just so human! Go and enjoy the positive feedback! (and ignore any naysayers, if that happens)

At 2.5 years out, I feel as if I am absolutely relevant, but completely **** upon because some people CHOOSE to take my words as attacks/judgmental/bullying/etc when I truly don't intend them that way.

I am not a warm fuzzy kind of girl. I never have been and I never will be. Seemingly, my personality was just FINE when I was "one of them" (newbie), but now that I am past those initial stages, I am a big old meanie. I try to remember that "newbies" are sensitive and hormonal, nervous and emotional but that said, I can't/won't coddle bad decisions. No one coddled me and I learned the most from people who told me their truths. Even when I couldn't relate, I appreciated that they shared with me their real feelings instead of justifying mine.

I, too, feel that I only "get" from the vet forums and maintenance forums, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to "give" in the other forums. Some will appreciate it, some will not. Those who do can take it, those who don't can leave it.

It's their choice, their gain, or their problem.

I'm with you. Not a three year vet, but am 18 mos. along the path and this forum has always been the most meaningful to me. I also have had some experience with newbies who have found my responses to their "bad" decisions hard to accept. I hold with being verbally kind and tolerant of difficult times and choices to make, but I am convinced that honesty and sharing your core values is just as key.

As a former school counselor, I occasionally had parents call me and say "but what you said to my child made her cry!" in criticism of my work. Often that child entered the room looking for my validation of his/her self-destructive behavior. Yes, I do believe I had learned enough in 40+ years to know when a teenager was lost and needed a bit of direction. The teen was there for someone to listen and acknowledge their pain, but they also wanted me to point possible ways out to them. Sometimes "the way" is hard to hear. My response to the parent was often "change is painful, and sometimes the truth hurts, but it's the only path to growth." Sometimes dealing with the difficulties following bariatric surgery can make us similar to the kids I counseled, lost and looking for guidance, but sensitive to hearing hard truths. As long as we're not vindictive, spiteful, mean or insensitive and try to be empathetic as we respond, we are more than relevant. And if sometimes we are misunderstood in our candor, at least we're being real and genuine. Can't please everyone.

Pet peeve - going out with a group of friends and they eat appetizers, main course, dessert and several bottles of wine... I have a salad or appetizer... At the end of the meal they say "Let's just split the check.". Since I haven't told too many people about the wls, I don't want to bring attention to it. So, in the past few months I haven't joined the gang...

How about ordering more of a normal portion of food (like what your friends order) and boxing most of it to take home? It will cost more, but you'll at least walk out of the restaurant with a meal or two for another time. Maybe you'll have less resentment about the bill? and you won't miss out on the fun!

I'm a big fan of Fage 0% with fruit. It's tasty and has lots of Protein. You could also have Fage o% plain and add a mix of nuts and splenda.

This is what I do....the Fage offers the Protein and no fat and for me, Nature Valley Protein granola adds the crunch...like an eighth of a cup just for the crunch factor. Some blueberries and I'm way happy.

My regrowth is similar and I have all kinds of flyaway, frizz at my neck, and odd pieces. Frustrating,but I'm thrilled it's all growing back in great!(surgery 9/14) My hair stylist has me using something called "Brazilian Blowout" smoothing serum which helps smooth everything when I'm styling to go out somewhere. I also don't wash my hair everyday....too drying. A little trick he taught me to

manage the flyaways at my part...Spray a little hairspray on your palms and lightly run your palms over the flyaways toward your hair and they'll go down and stick to your hair.

Yep....my sex drive is back and I haven't felt so interested since before my daughter was born 17 years ago! I also have a very happy hubby. I am post menopausal, but that doesn't seem to be an issue one way or another. I really think it's a head thing for me. I like the new me, feel good about my efforts and successes, and have improved my looks and fitness so much at the gym that I finally have a consistent desire to be touched and loved again. At 60 I'm pretty sure it's not hormonal...lol. Maybe the younger women are experiencing something similar, not anything hormonal?

Well, my week vaca got me.....I'm up to 224 yesterday (Monday). Back and trying hard again, but have a surgery tomorrow....I won't be able to exercise for awhile. Will pretty surely not make goal but can keep trying!

still 220...sigh

Just read this whole thread. Sorry guys...I'm female, but it was just so great to read. I don't presume to understand what the guys need to know or hear about "bedding hotties" but I know a few things, mostly obvious:

1. Physical attraction brought me to every man I ever slept with. Later the other stuff kept me there. For me physical attraction included a "reasonable" BMI. Muscle development/fitness was key, but not body builder type necessary.

2. Men hit on me when I was thinner and not when I was obese.

3. Sex was/is better thinner. My husband is happier with me thinner because of that and my majorly increased confidence, fitness and stamina. Of course...duh.

It's a no brainer....if you want "your" 10, be your best you. It's all about you thinking you're okay. Maybe for some guys it doesn't require "thinness" and a "10" face and bod, but just requiires reasonably fit health and great other personal qualities. But for the superficial 1st approach, it really IS about your look for the most part. That being said...the look includes body, but also includes a lot of body language: smile, laugh, confidence. And also not blurting stupidisms. LOL

Well I can say that I've never had that problem. Have I encountered the occasional beast called push back yes but hey nothing easy can ever be as fun as what's hard to obtain. Game is game any man can pick up any woman even if he is as big as butter bean but only a real man can be seductive in his conquest. I am a firm believer a hard 10 isnt looking for another 10 cyz guess what only hard 10s go for her n they r the ones to hurt her the issue is how do you get her attention how do you start a conversation with our bring intimidated women respect confidence elegance and respond to respect but really wants to be turned on out of bed as in bed but with personality. I've never had problems with women the only reason why I had this surgery was because of my health but I must say the ladies did love me. Your either born with it or you can always learn it. Read the book the art of seduction it is the truth.

Thinking you may be a strong Latino man. You sound like my man. Solid post.

@@MarceMonster ...

I'm one of those who didn't worry about low carb during my weight loss phases. Serindipitously, I wound up eating about the same number of grams of carbs and Proteins on an average daily basis.

I also am one of those who, after 4 months, starting increasing the number of calories I ate (on the advice of my bariatric PA) so as not to accustom my body to operating on low cals. I added calories by increasing my Protein and adding low-glycemic, high-fiber carbs (colored veggies, lower-sugar fruits, whole grains).

I didn't lose as fast as you're losing, but I really didn't care so much about speed. On the other hand, I didn't have any big or long stalls, but lost steadily.

Although my daily intake varied, here are the daily averages I aimed for:

Month 1 - 500 cals, 60 gms Protein

Months 2-4 - 800 cals, 70-75 grams protein

Months 5-6 - 1,000 cals, 85 grams protein

Months 7-8 - 1,200 cals, 100 grams protein (I reached my weight goal (150 lbs) during Month 8)

Thereafter, I added 100 cals/day every few weeks, until I have found a "sweet spot" that works for me -- at 144 pounds and 1700-1750 cals/day (average).

I can't prove it, of course, but my theory is that eating more calories and more carbs while I was losing weight has helped me be able to eat more to maintain my weight at a pretty high calorie budget.

But I've only been at maintenance for 3.5 months. As I've said repeatedly, things may change. And if they do, I'll have to change how I'm eating.

This whole trip is very interesting. I've come to understand and accept that what works best for Person A is not necessarily what works best for Person B.

@VSGAnn214

Always love your posts but this one is great. So sensible and well-thought out, plus I appreciate your approach that addresses your personal idiosyncrasies and goals. I think we all should worry less about a "cookie-cutter" approach and, while listening to our professional guides, do what makes sense for our own body and weight loss. Good one!

Trying to remember everything every day.

supplements

Water

Protein

Exercise

Aspirin

Log food

Get enough calories

Wait 30 minutes

Amazing how before I Just ate in oblivion. I gotta make a schedule. I either forget my supplements or my aspirin or don't get in enough Water or fall short on Proteins or calories.

I'm with you....it's just the day to day that peeves me. Always watching....

Couldn't care less what some idiot from my world has to say about my weight loss or what they think.

Today...219.4

Have always drunk milk and drink nonfat milk all the time now, mostly in Protein shakes and occasionally in Cereal. No food bad. (unless you have allergy or intolerance) In my opinion it's just the imbalance of food groups that is bad. Just staying with the rules....high Protein, low white carbs and sugars, high Fiber, whole veggies, healthy fats (olive oil and avocado, etc.), lots of Water.....

y'all know already

Swore off of sandwiches and haven't really had a burger in a very long time. Just a bite of my husband's. Tasted ok but didn't seem worth the fat and carbs from the bun. I have learned that if I want ground meat that ground bison in leaner, tastier and not so bad for you. When my family wants burgers we grill ground bison and I eat a few ounces without the bun and extras. Yes, cheese and other toppings would be great, but I'm holding tough as long as I can! So far, so good!

Hi all of my supportive buddies! I am doing so well weight loss-wise, IMHO but have to deal with a setback. Before I had my VSG in 2014 I had both of my hip joints replaced. Obesity blew them out. In the last year I joined a gym and have been trying to get in shape and was definitely succeeding! But in January (just starting to feel more fit and strong) i had an accident of my own fault. Thinking I was more fit I forgot "the rules" for protecting a hip joint replacement and I damaged it by too much bending flexion. So now I have to have surgery for a hip joint revision and wil be unable to exercise like I am now for a couple of months, minimum. So disappointed! But it is what it is I suppose.

Obviously it's a necessary situation, but I feel so sad that I have to be "off the grid" with activity when it was going so well for the first time in my life. It's scaring me that I might have trouble restarting.

Anyone ever go through something similar?

I've been very open to people in person but haven't said much on Facebook about it. Friends and family have been incredibly supportive, at least to my face. I don't worry much about what acquaintances think but choose to not share a lot unless asked, and then I pick and choose what to share. Something's lost in electronic media sharing.....emoticons don't cover it, lol...so I don't really share much there except that I announced I had lost 70 pounds a little way back. Got a few questions, but nothing upsetting or crazy. I don't worry much anymore about what people think but, then again, I surround myself with only open-minded and supportive people, so it's easier that way. I'm retired so I don't have to cope with idiot co-workers.

Mostly, though, I choose to be truly known, so I tend to be more open than is sometimes typical.

It's odd though, most acquaintances who have made some kind of judgemental comment (you know, those weird innuendos that somehow imply that the way I am losing weight should have been done in another way?) seem to be really conflicted. Want me to be healthier but are angry I'm succeeding. Like it's a competition.....

I'm 10 mos out. My hair shedded like crazy starting at 5 mos and it stopped at around 8 mos. Lost a lot but never so much I looked terrible. Have been taking 5000 mcg of Biotin since month 4 and it didn't seem to stop the loss but it has seemed to make the regrowth faster and my nails better (bonus). I have long hair so now I have lots of spiky weirdness aroung my hairline and my part where it's coming in. Dealing with that with some hair products. But overall, other than being freaked out when clumps were in my shower drain, it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it might be. Hang in there. It's all very temporary.

Plodding along....221 today.

Honestly? And I know sleevers are going to hate me for this, but....

I believe a bypass is best for those with a higher starting BMI. Weight loss is faster, and there is more information out there about long term success. From what I've seen from my own observation on these forums,(so take it with a grain of salt) people who've had the sleeve and start at a higher BMI struggle to get to their goal weight. You rarely see over 150 pounds lost with the sleeve. I'M NOT SAYING IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, but it's rare. And many gain weight just after a few years when they do. I tend to see more bypass patients getting to and maintaining goal weight more successfully, including my husband who had the bypass 9 years ago and has kept all but 20 pounds off.

I think the sleeve is more ideal for people starting at a lower BMI. Like I said, my own research, so take it with a grain of salt. But go to the bypass boards and then the sleeve boards and see for yourselves.

I'm not a hater, have liked reading all your posts @@Babbs! I just hope that maybe, as most things, it's an individual thing. I started at a high BMI of 49.8 pre-op and was sleeved in late Sept. 2014 and I have followed the rules the best I could and exercised religiously. I've lost 97 pounds so far (current BMI is in the mid 30's now) and am continuing pretty consistently losing at between 5-7 pounds a month. I always knew my loss might be less with the sleeve than with a bypass, but all those "absorption changes" scared me off of that one.

Seems we all fear the possible regain...but I'm very happy with my progress so far. Happy with my sleeve! I suppose time will tell!

@@Elode This is a terrific thread! Very upbeat and inspiring. I've loved all your posts, everyone!

What is striking me the most is all of our "clothing journeys". I have found it very exciting to need new clothes and be able to walk into a store and buy them! However it was incredibly thrilling to pack up boxes and bags of clothes I had that no longer fit. Off to the Vietnam Vets charity! There were lots of amazing professional clothes in there....I recently retired....some were brand new or almost new. I actually started packing them the weekend before my surgery....I was so absolutely up and refused to ever wear them again!

@@natnat919 Your reply was so heartfelt! I am totally in your corner! You will succeed this time, have faith! Just follow the yellow brick road.....

Yep...I was happy to finally get pureed food when the time came, too. I made a beef stew, very light on the potatoes, with carrots, onions, etc. I pureed some of it and froze it in an ice cube tray. One microwaved cube made me very happy and it tasted great. The stew lasted until I was moving into the soft foods phase.

222.3 this morning...

Like the skinny fingers comment, looking forward to resizing my rings. I'm wearing plastic tubing resizers on all my good jewelry and just want it to fit but want to wait 'til I'm at goal.