WLSResources/ClothingExch

Neither am/was I. Regardless, I think she needs to ask her surgery practice. @@Munecagirl85 -- If you are fluent in Spanish, you may also want to ask in the Spanish forum at BariatricPal. But ask your surgeon, too, please. Best wishes to you. http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/1123-bariatricpal-en-espa%C3%B1ol-nuevo/

@@Ashlegal -- You know, don't you, that honor requires you to report back on your final choice?

Happy Halloween! Boooooo-oooooooh! I'm home alone tonight half-watching a marathon of episodes from the old Alfred Hitchcock TV series. Good stuff that holds up well these decades later. This apartment has been home for eons upon eons ("Never give up a phenomenal deal in Manhattan" is a Constitutional amendment). The first two years here, I bought several bags of candy.* No one ever knocked. The third year I bought more,* but still no trick-or-treaters. Never bought candy again. The reason is that by then, kids in my neighborhood (and others) had stopped going door to door in favor of hitting the stores and restaurants on the avenues, where they do quite well. * only candy that I didn't like

Before I spend fortunes on dry-cleaning, I thought I'd ask if anyone has done it -- pulled out beloved clothes only to find that they are stinko? You know that musty, rank odor? It's obvious that I used the wrong types of containers and should have tossed in dryer sheets and/or those little doodads that absorb moisture in Vitamin bottles and other places. Or something else. Is it possible that the odor can be conquered? Dry-cleaning? Hanging them outdoors for a month in the country (I'm a city-dweller, so this not the likeliest option)? Some other technique? Sigh. Laurie

@@Ashlegal Great idea for future packing away. Where have you been all my life? An aside. Sometimes I see a box, "Marked Solved," at the bottom of a post or topic. It's here now. Is that to indicate that kind people about to reply can better use their energies elsewhere?

I'd like to suggest something that the messages from @@Ashlegal and @@lealor bring to mind. The loss of someone important in our lives is loss. For purposes of these topics, it's all the same. Loss is loss. Please ... there's no need to qualify, quantify or otherways apologize in any way for referring to one's own experience.

Emotional eating is a challenge, but a dealable-with challenge. You might want to start with making a list of what sets you off. I get that specific events are contributors, but it also sounds as though boredom eating, which seems to occur most often at night, is part of the mix. There's another cause of emotional eating that I'd refuted until I became aware of my urge a few months ago: happy eating. Stuffing food down isn't about comfort, it's about a search for stupor, oblivion. That said, I can recommend a website meant for emotional eaters: ShrinkYourself.com. Great name, isn't it? It's the work of Dr. Roger Gould, a psychologist who, in addition to the site, has a book on the subject (quelle surprise). There is a pay option at the website, but you can sign up for the free newsletters which are quite effective. Read them and do whatever exercises are given.

Seconding @@BLERDgirl -- Not really nuts, pine nuts are the edible seeds of some pine trees. They are contained within the cones' little "arms." @@sarahbethemails -- I'd ask what time's dinner, but you said "Hamburg," which means you're in a different area. The only times I've ever had homemade Middle Eastern food, it was made by following recipes. I'd love the real thing, so please think of me when you get in there. If only for the food, your boyfriend is a keeper.

You're not. I'm glad that you'll be going to the group meetings. It means a lot to know that we're not the only ones who are having a hard time. And, when your feelings change to the other direction, it'll be great that you're still not the only one.

Vinegar, the universal antidote. How could I have forgotten? I'm pleased to say that mold and mildew aren't the problems. That was a couple of years ago, when I opened one of those huge Rubbermaid containers. The smell was overwhelming. I slammed the lid back on, taped a note on top ("Mold -- Don't take these clothes), and hauled the whole thing out to the trash. The smell was very different from what I've got now. 20 Mule Team Borax still exists? I have the vaguest recall of a TV series sponsored by the product. It may have been a western-ish show. Ronald Reagan did the commercials between segments of the show and may have been an actor in the show (?). At least, I was a wee thing then. Maybe clips of it were shown during his later career.

@@CowgirlJane -- I didn't see your message to the woman until after I posted to her and, holy-moly, Jane, your level of caring based on what she expressed is so right. I dont like to coddle either, but sometimes someone truly needs some. Now I don't believe that you're ready to give it up. Cut back, maybe, but the responses you give, often gifts, are gifts to yourself, too. The only thing you need to know is whether you'd be losing something if you pull out. Relevant, hell yes. Important, moreso. May I possibly embarrass you by quoting the post I'm speaking of? So be it. "I am worried about you. I am not keeping track but it seems that you are quite frequently posting about a sense of dispair and somehow I can't seem to follow what us happening. "Dang phones and typos but I think you said it is your complications that give you that hopelessness? Is it GERD or something else. "I would really like to give you the support you are seeking. "I commend you for keeping coming back to ask for help..that takes some.guts to do that." Oh, Jane, you've got your answer.

I don't know of anyone who maintained after band removal. It must be possible, but take great commitment, determination and discipline and, let's not forget, a positive attitude. One person who'd been a champion band owner, maintaining about 14 years, had it removed due to a strenuous movement that cause a major slip. At first she chose to try to maintain on her own. However, she had sleeve surgery three or four months after band removal because she'd begun to gain. She's the only one whose details I know. Some people here have gone from band to sleeve. Perhaps they'll stop in and tell you what they know. Who says you have to wait a year for sleeve? Is that the surgeon or something else you believe on your own? Did you ask why the band has to be removed? There is a theory that, once loosened, a band never works quite as well once refilled. I don't know if that's true or, if it is, whether it applies to everyone. Sometimes a band is loosened so that the dilation can correct itself. It usually takes a few months, and then the band can be tightened again gradually. Did the surgeon mention that as an option before going to the OR again? If you expect to regain, you will. If you have to ask the point of continuing to work out, your planning to regain. GEt your thinking, emotions and head straight before you even think of revision surgery now or later. Surgery is no guarantee of weight loss -- you have to do the work. YOu might consider a therapist, one who has some particular knowledge of the weight-loss/emotional intersection. It's a shame that your mother piled her insecurities onto you, especially when you were so young. That's got to have a large role in your struggles now.. Always question medical advice at least to the point of asking if there is an alternate to try before going the more drastic route. What caused the dilation? There may be other causes, but I know only about overeating and eating too quickly, not chewing thoroughly and not pausing between bites. However the current situation is resolved, I wish you the best. I also wish I had time now to do some editing so that this note would be more cohesive.

@@jess9395 and @@erp -- At nearly three years and nearly two years post-surgery, sorry, ladies, you were stripped of your prom-queen tiaras a while ago.

@@CowgirlJane Before I launch into my two cents, let me preface it by assuring you that, although new to BP, I'm an old-timer -- surgery six years ago this month. Further, I'm unable to read all the posts here, as concussion effects are acting up; bear with me if I'm treading well-worn carpet or disorganized. @@CowgirlJane -- You don't have to explain what motivates you to respond to people who are new to the game. The same goes for @@LipstickLady and others whose posts I can't spot now. You don't have to think you have all the answers and, by the same token, you don't have to take everyone on your back. I've seen a number of notes from you and LL to know you're on the mark -- straightforward, informative and supportive w/o coddling. Might it be that you're questioning what would really satisfy you now and not your relevance to new people? You wrote that it isn't burnout and I believe it. But maybe you're feeling that it's time to move on to some extent? Nothing wrong with participating only in the forums that give you what you seek for yourself from people at the same stage and seeking the same. For the rest, think about what really works for you. There are a number of possibilities, including cutting back on posting to new people or not posting to them at all. My feeling about the WLS clothing exchange I run might resonate for you. I started 5 1/2 years ago. For the past two years, after I've scheduled the next with the host organization, I think, "This is it. This one will be the last." Then, the day after the exchange, I look at the calendar to decide on the next date. Then I recognize that I don't want to stop. As to the topic originators who become hostile, the only thing you can do is ignore the venom. I noticed one who shouldn't even have been here at all, IMNHO, that is. (I don't usually use abbreviations, so, before I forget, that means "in my never humble opinion.) She was making inquiry for someone else, therefore, lacking info that might have helped others respond to the patient's needs. Beyond that, people don't know how topics often go off on tangents, especially when a dozen people are present. Because the majority of humans are poor communicators, they're either unclear as to what they need or they want to dictate the responses, or both. Pfft, the latter, at least, are on their own. There's more I wanted to say. Good thing my eyes are blurring and the screen light has become too much.

Victory!

It would be unusual if you had an appetite only two days post-op. We sleep through surgery, but it takes a lot out of us. Lying there is exhausting.

@@anna9/15 -- @@proudgrammy suggested taking part in an in-person support group, an excellent suggestion that I was going to make. Everything is still new to you and there's much to learn. Before my surgery I attended a couple of meetings. Then and at meetings after, I was miserable thinking that I must have a low IQ. I remember saying at a meeting that I must be too dumb to be able to do it. The pieces do start falling into place, of course, Taking part in this online group is good, but seeing other people in person is an even better way to sort things out, including your emotions, expectations and more. Meetings are usually monthly. If your hospital doesn't have a support group, call the bariatric practices at other hospitals in the area. They all usually welcome patients from other practices because it costs nothing to have someone sit in to talk with the group. Laurie

Be smart, just call your surgery practice. Run it by them. If you mean around the groin/reproductive area, it might be gas. Or are you constipated? It could be something else or nothing at all. I repeat: call your practice and ease your mind.

@Elode@liannatx -- Both items duly noted and on the shopping list. Can you guess that I'm not particularly domestic in a laundry way? Never heard of scent beads. They sound so '60's and grass-scented clothes have to be better than the odor I'm faced with now.

Hey, hey, hey, what's this about "...that little part is wrong...?" You're allowed to feel it, but not to give him all the power. The jerk just broke up with you, so screw him. @@Daisee68 is correct. When he sees you later on, he'll eat his kishkes out. You're reminding me of a song, the pronouns of which I must change: Got along without 'im before I met 'im, Gonna get along without 'im now. Good girl. chocolate used to be the cure-all and, now, all on you're own, you've discovered the fish cure. You can't know how long you'll feel this way, but you'll do the sane things anyway. Fish is forever.

@@JustWatchMe -- Very interesting and new to me. Since vodka won't stain, there's nothing to lose in trying. I'd use a mister to give everything a light going-over before hanging to air. Dry-clean as a follow-up. No Kahlua in the mix, I suppose. @@Elode -- I've washed the washable things, but they're still funky. A second wash may help. Most of what I'd packed away is dry-clean only, e.g., wool, many with linings.

@@gpmed -- Easy to say, but true. You are the only person who will be with you no matter what. You're just started out on an amazing, life-changing trip and it's mandatory that you be present for yourself. How else will you enjoy the view? Nausea meds? Would he feel ill for you? Can't eat? Would he go hungry and unnourished for you? Posting at 3:45 a.m.? Would he lose sleep for you? Your screen name suggests that you may live a wacky schedule, but, still, would he lose sleep for you? Fie on him. You have other things to do. Laurie

@@LoseItKacy You're fretting yourself into a tizzy. Everyone speaks of "cheating." Quite a while ago, I realized that it makes no sense. Cheating is for children (I'll leave the crappy lovers out of the equation here). Naughty, little children giggle about cheating and take pride in testing their autonomy. Adults make choices, they don't "cheat." If you change your vocabulary, you should be able to relax. When it comes to life post-op, our choices should be made responsibly so that they fit neatly in to the day's plan. I hope that makes an occasional treat a less daunting prospect. Fear of losing control is another matter. Oh, boy. If you don't have confidence now in being able to stop at a reasonable, pre-planned portion that suits your goals, perhaps put it off until you are. You'll get there. "Is it normal to be so 'by the book'?" "Normal" has nothing to do with it; leave the judgments out. This is about what works for you at any given time. Deep breath. Laurie

Revisiting and must add: The tiny basket makes Little Red look larger than necessary. Proportion is as necessary as authenticity.