stillcantdecide

I'm contemplating this surgery, my doctor backs me and will put me on the waitlist... I am overweight, 5'0 feet 215 lbs but I have never had any complications other than sore feet and low self esteem. I'm scared to go through with this and get one or many of the complications and side effects I am reading about.
I'm scared of something going wrong, and feel like it's just so drastic and final a decision....I often wonder what it's like down the road 10, 20 30 years.... I guess because I'm not suffering from alot of the negative health effects that go with being over weight I'm having a hard time deciding what to do. I mean it would be a no brainer if I had high blood pressure, diabetes, heart issues etc...
I also can't help but think so many people loose weight without surgery, maybe if I tried 1 more time, 1 more diet, 1 more trainer I could do it.
On the flip side to all these fears and worries, I think about how nice it would be to feel good about the way I look, to have confidence, to not feel like everyone is judging the fat girl. To go to the store and buy any clothes I want, to go for a jog and not have crippling foot pain, to ride my horse again and actually compete in horse shows like I did in my younger, thinner days...
Did anyone else experience worry, nerves, doubts or these type of feelings? How did you choose and get a handle on the in-decision?
Does anyone regret the decision to have surgery?
Thanks, I find this is all I think about, the waitlist to have the surgery is at least 2 years long where I am so I have alot of time to think (but this also means alot of time to flip flop and go back and forth)