dhrguru

Hi, I'm in Philly. What surgery are you having?

I'm sorry he didn't keep it to himself. My husband did similar, told his parents and his pastor at his church. When I asked him about it, he raised a point I couldn't argue. He said "what if you died during this surgery, what would I say to people?" And when I thought I about it I realized I would have left him in an awkward position to explain, (and possibly defend) my decision during his grief to the same people he would need to support him. I still would have rathered to own who knew and tell who I chose myself, but he had a point.

If you search up regrets, I'm sure you'll find plenty of threads. Yeah many have regrets, usually they are because of complications. However, I've seen many with complications still say they are grateful for the surgery since they are probably still better off then where they would have been had they not lost any weight. If i had to guess, she hasn't really worked though her 'head issues' about eating/not being able to eat/indulge in certain things. Without getting the mindset in check-- its an uphill battle for the rest of your life.

So i'm thinking of asking for one of these for Christmas, but am overwhelmed by the options/features. Any recommendations for a brand? Is the one with the chest strap more accurate than the watch only styles? I'm not interested in fitbit-- I'm looking for something other than that brand,

I had the charge and it fell apart-- literally. Though they stood behind it and sent a knew one-- it totally turned me off from buying another of their products.

Well I imagine that requiring 2 units of blood would leave you wiped out more than normal. I was nothing near normal until 1.5 weeks post op. All I did was lay around, watch netflix, drink and made a point to walk around the house a bit. never even attempted exercise till I was six weeks out. When your body is telling you to rest, listen to it. There is no rush to get active after a major surgery!

Got it- That's a tough agreement to deliver on, especially if one isn't mentally prepared. You probably had requirements to fulfill pre-op... psych eval, support group, even reading/posting to this forum. What preparation has she done? Surgery put you in a place that kind of forced you to deliver on your end of the bargain. But the only thing that rally changed for her is you and your perspective. Something has gotta to change in her head, it just hasn't clicked yet. I'm one that does believe that love has hills and valleys, sounds lie your love for her is in a valley. And it seems like its going to be lots of painful conversations to work through it- if that's what you want to do. And FYI-- I'm in the same situation, (not the agreement part). I've lost a lot, spouse is still making unhealthy choices, gets no exercise and is developing co-morbidities. I love him- he frustrates me- but I'm trying to be as patient with him as he has been with me,

I'm thankful for my family. There was a time when I'd put friends before family, but for me, family is the one that has weathered every storm with me. Friends have never been a constant in my life. Though, I've made a multitude of 'virtual' friends thanks to boards like Bariatric Pal and a few other forums I'm a part of. I'm thankful for for my career and job. Its flexible so I never have to worry about taking time off for me or for family, and it covered my surgery, and follow up care an minimal costs to me. I'm thankful for discernment-- it allowed me to make the best decision for me at the best time for my life. I'm thankful that, though I carried more than 300# for more than half of my life, my joints are in good shape and I can run, walk, exercise, whatever without issue. I'm thankful I never developed diabetes and have lessened my chances of doing so.

I'm curious-- what was this mutual agreement that you made before surgery?? My spouses habits didn't cause me to maintain a weight of over 300#'s for years... my own habits, or lack thereof did. I would never ever put any amount of this on my spouses shoulders. I control every bite that I take and move that I make.

I'm doing a 5k thanksgiving morning. It'll be my first, my goal is to just finish. I'll have lots of extra workout time since I'll be off Thursday- Tuesday...and you can't forget all the steps from black Friday shopping!

So I thought this would be an interesting topic, especially for the pre-ops. What have you learned to love since WLS? I've learned to love: - Apple with Peanut Butter (I never understood the pair before, but serves as a decent replacement for PB & J sandwich) - Spaghetti w/out the noodles (I add a tablespoon of ricotta and mozzarella) - Burger without the bun, or a sandwich without bread. (Tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers etc take their place) - Running, never thought I'd run voluntarily but I do. So what have you learned to love?

I've posted a few rants about my husband since WLS. Did my marriage change, no. My marriage is the same, my husband is the same. He rarely ever gives compliments, and almost never speaks to or acknowledges my weight loss so far. Though it bugs me, he has been the same person. It would be nice to have a cheerleader in him... But it's just not him. Have I changed, in small ways. I put my exercise as a priority, so that affects things to as small degree. I'm less motivated to cook a family meal since its rare all of us can/are willing to eat the same thing. I'm more eager for him to work in his weight cause I know how much better he'd feel, but I'm careful to not badger him as he'd never once badgered me. I know I've changed the dynamic of our relationship, he was the thin one when we met. I was the obese one, but now weigh less then when wet met. I think he always expected to lose the weight first. I wish there were more 'active' together times with us, but we still have fun the ways we're used to. We Celebrate 15 years married next Monday. We're staying home, In bed for the day; can't think of a better way to spend our anniversary. :-)

So my husband has made two comments recently that got under my skin. 1st) I make dinner for the family. I'll eat the Protein and the veggie, but not the starch. Thats leaves lots of leftovers of rice etc, that no one ends up using after the initial meal. So it dies a slow moldy death in the fridge. So one night I skipped the starch, deciding not to add to the piles gone unused in the fridge. He comments that I've essentially said screw them since my surgery and stopped cooking complete meals. Grrr. Not true. 2nd) he made some comment about me 'trying to be the only skinny one in the house, (never mind my Kids are of normal weight) and I'm not trying to help anyone else'. Though he was not angry and probably said both as tongue in check type comments, it irked me. I'm a firm believer that truth is often spoken in jest. He's a grown up, he can cook and take control of his health... But I guess it's easier to shift reponsibility from himself.

I don't wear shapewear regularly. Too many memories of my mom squeezing me into some girdle type thing as a kid/teen. Wearing that stuff just brings back memories of feeling ashamed of my body. I have one piece, a tank type piece I'll use under certain tops, but it rarely sees the light of day.

I never tried quinoa, I will try it. Thanks!

I so sympathize with this! I stopped sharing too. In my case I realize I changed a dynamic that had always been there since we met. I was always obese, he was skinny when I met him. I think he always expected me to be the same, and he'd eventually get back to being slim.

from your lips to God's ear's. I can't speak another word about nutrition and health as it pertains to him. I can only keep it in prayer for him.

He did suggest serving them again, and I do at times. I use instant rices (ie- goya yellow rice, Lipton rice sides etc) because they don't care for white rice. Can't really 1/2 those.

My insurance was submitted in Thursday. Hopefully I will here something this week.Fingers crossed! If all goes as planned when will your pre-ops diet start?Carlie said to start the 24th. Right before Thanksgiving. But that actually gives me 16 days liquids. Why would it be so long? That is a bit longer than usual, I wonder why. Mine was exactly 14 days. I was hoping you'd at least be able to get through thanksgiving. The first few days a tough, but it does get easier.

My insurance was submitted in Thursday. Hopefully I will here something this week. Fingers crossed! If all goes as planned when will your pre-ops diet start?

That'll be hard for others to make suggestions on since only you know your schedule (ie- work/school/kids) and what will work around your life. It took me a 3 months to figure out a Vitamin routine and stick to it. I've never found a need to be on an eating/drinking schedule. Experiment and see what works best for you.

Don't compare yourself to others. I like to compare weight loss to what doctors say about pregnancy, no two are the same. Weight loss results will never mirror another's, or even how you've lost weight in the past. Just keeping following what the program has outlined for you and you'll do fine! In the beginning it's a struggle to meet goals, but before you know it it will all BE second nature.