lauraellen80

I have been theoretically in maintenance since before Christmas, but have lost another 20 lbs since then. My weight right now is lower than when I was a ballet dancer in high school (still trying to wrap my mind around that one). And I'm averaging about 1400 net calories per day, so I'm actually eating somewhere in the range of 1500-1800 calories per day depending on how much I burn with exercise. I'm still trying to find the sweet spot to maintain, as I am still losing in little dribs and drabs (.25 lb here, .5 lb there). If I were limited to 1200 calories worth of food per day, I can't imagine where I'd be!
Also, I average about 70-80 grams of fat per day... I was also told to keep to 30 grams or less, but I don't know how it's possible. That was also based on a 1000 calorie-per-day plan, which obviously is not where I'm at now. I'm already getting well over 100 grams of Protein per day, ditto carbs, so my macros would have to change drastically to make that happen. I have MyFitnessPal set for 1400 cals, with 35% Protein (122 g), 35% fat (55 g), and 30% carbs (104 g). Those amounts go up when I eat more total calories to compensate for activity. Obviously, I don't do real low-carb as it is (though I don't really eat bread, Pasta, rice, Cereal anymore), and I don't want to damage my kidneys with even more protein, so unless my NUT gives me hell at my next appt, I am going to keep fats where they are.

I have been theoretically in maintenance since before Christmas, but have lost another 20 lbs since then. My weight right now is lower than when I was a ballet dancer in high school (still trying to wrap my mind around that one). And I'm averaging about 1400 net calories per day, so I'm actually eating somewhere in the range of 1500-1800 calories per day depending on how much I burn with exercise. I'm still trying to find the sweet spot to maintain, as I am still losing in little dribs and drabs (.25 lb here, .5 lb there). If I were limited to 1200 calories worth of food per day, I can't imagine where I'd be!
Also, I average about 70-80 grams of fat per day... I was also told to keep to 30 grams or less, but I don't know how it's possible. That was also based on a 1000 calorie-per-day plan, which obviously is not where I'm at now. I'm already getting well over 100 grams of Protein per day, ditto carbs, so my macros would have to change drastically to make that happen. I have MyFitnessPal set for 1400 cals, with 35% Protein (122 g), 35% fat (55 g), and 30% carbs (104 g). Those amounts go up when I eat more total calories to compensate for activity. Obviously, I don't do real low-carb as it is (though I don't really eat bread, Pasta, rice, Cereal anymore), and I don't want to damage my kidneys with even more protein, so unless my NUT gives me hell at my next appt, I am going to keep fats where they are.

I have been theoretically in maintenance since before Christmas, but have lost another 20 lbs since then. My weight right now is lower than when I was a ballet dancer in high school (still trying to wrap my mind around that one). And I'm averaging about 1400 net calories per day, so I'm actually eating somewhere in the range of 1500-1800 calories per day depending on how much I burn with exercise. I'm still trying to find the sweet spot to maintain, as I am still losing in little dribs and drabs (.25 lb here, .5 lb there). If I were limited to 1200 calories worth of food per day, I can't imagine where I'd be!
Also, I average about 70-80 grams of fat per day... I was also told to keep to 30 grams or less, but I don't know how it's possible. That was also based on a 1000 calorie-per-day plan, which obviously is not where I'm at now. I'm already getting well over 100 grams of Protein per day, ditto carbs, so my macros would have to change drastically to make that happen. I have MyFitnessPal set for 1400 cals, with 35% Protein (122 g), 35% fat (55 g), and 30% carbs (104 g). Those amounts go up when I eat more total calories to compensate for activity. Obviously, I don't do real low-carb as it is (though I don't really eat bread, Pasta, rice, Cereal anymore), and I don't want to damage my kidneys with even more protein, so unless my NUT gives me hell at my next appt, I am going to keep fats where they are.

I'm over 10 months out, and I have only thrown up on three occasions since surgery. Once was the day I came home from the hospital and stupidly took my whole antidepressant for the first time in a few days on an empty stomach (I started cutting it in half and taking it in two doses spaced out, with food, and was fine). Once was a couple months later and was just a weird combination of factors and seems to have been just one of those random things. And then a couple months ago I had a nasty stomach flu, which is completely unrelated to my surgery.
As far as acid reflux, I take prescription Pepcid twice a day as a preventive measure and have no problems. In fact, I haven't touched a Tums since surgery, where before I was popping them all the time.
Everyone is different, some people have these issues, but for me the benefits outweighed the possibility of the side effects. Don't panic and cancel surgery.

I'm over 10 months out, and I have only thrown up on three occasions since surgery. Once was the day I came home from the hospital and stupidly took my whole antidepressant for the first time in a few days on an empty stomach (I started cutting it in half and taking it in two doses spaced out, with food, and was fine). Once was a couple months later and was just a weird combination of factors and seems to have been just one of those random things. And then a couple months ago I had a nasty stomach flu, which is completely unrelated to my surgery.
As far as acid reflux, I take prescription Pepcid twice a day as a preventive measure and have no problems. In fact, I haven't touched a Tums since surgery, where before I was popping them all the time.
Everyone is different, some people have these issues, but for me the benefits outweighed the possibility of the side effects. Don't panic and cancel surgery.

I have had relationships end, fail to start, or become soured because of my looks, though. From a guy in college who liked me enough to make out with me in my dorm but bluntly told me that I wasn't pretty enough and didn't have big enough boobs and a small enough waist to be "girlfriend material" for him, to a serious relationship that ended because he was "repulsed" by me after I'd gained 15-20 pounds and felt like I'd somehow tricked him into thinking I had myself more together than I really did... ugh.
I now have a husband who loves me no matter what and finds me attractive, so I should just let those old experiences go. Well, I've got something to talk about next week in therapy.

Yes, that's me. And my sweet old pup in the background. Glad to hear that I don't fit in with the typical attention-whores. I would like to think that I'm not looking for validation or compliments... rather, I guess I'm posting from a place of frustration that I'm still unhappy with how I look after all this and am wondering if others deal with the same thing.
One of the things that keep happening is that I'll take a picture or see a picture of myself now and initially think, "All right, I look pretty good!" But then I look at it again, more closely, and see all these flaws. I avoided pictures of myself entirely when I was at my heaviest, so it may also be that I got used to willfully ignoring how I looked and just assuming the answer was "gross." And now I'm paying a lot more attention to how I look and am now noticing all these little details that didn't seem to matter before. I'm also one of those annoying people who likes to copy-edit, so details that no one else notices and/or cares about are kinda my thing.

Almost everyone comes home from the hospital weighing more than when they went in--it's all the IV fluids they pump into you. It is absolutely not an indication of your future success with the sleeve! For that very reason, I didn't get near a scale until my first follow-up appointment with my surgeon.

Last New Years, I flew out from Philly to Indianapolis to visit my parents. My dad's younger sister had died two months prior due to complications of diabetes. I was at my heaviest, was depressed, and having back and other health problems. My mom brought up the idea of WLS to me while I was there, and I reacted poorly and defensively. My flight back to Philly was on a slightly smaller plane than the one I flew in on, and I couldn't lower my tray table because of my stomach, and I spent the flight home trying to keep my fat from spilling over into my neighbor's seat and thinking about what my mom had said. I started researching WLS the moment I got home.

I've had therapists work with me on affirmations, and I struggle with it. I'm too cynical... the best thing I've been able to manage is "I'm not a total a-hole, I guess."

Thanks for the kind words and the insightful thoughts, everyone. I've posted before about how I was a ballet dancer growing up, which skewed my perception in weird ways. I have definitely internalized a lot of negative ideas about my appearance, femininity, etc. over the years. And now that I'm putting more time and effort into clothes and make-up, I'm spending a lot more time in front of the mirror these days.
Like I said in an earlier reply, I have a lot of fodder for my next therapy session!
Oh, I normally would have worn more fun shoes (I have some really cute red wedges that'd look great with this dress) and in warmer weather gone sans tights, but this was actually take when I was dressed to go to the funeral of an acquaintance (I had my husband take the pic to show my mom the dress, which I'd just gotten), so I thought red shoes might be inappropriate!
Ah, yes... when I think about it, the last time I was at this weight was 20 years ago when I was 15 years old. It really isn't fair to myself to compare to how I looked as a dewy teenager (who even then thought she was fat and ugly, honestly).

I have had relationships end, fail to start, or become soured because of my looks, though. From a guy in college who liked me enough to make out with me in my dorm but bluntly told me that I wasn't pretty enough and didn't have big enough boobs and a small enough waist to be "girlfriend material" for him, to a serious relationship that ended because he was "repulsed" by me after I'd gained 15-20 pounds and felt like I'd somehow tricked him into thinking I had myself more together than I really did... ugh.
I now have a husband who loves me no matter what and finds me attractive, so I should just let those old experiences go. Well, I've got something to talk about next week in therapy.

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and have my one year follow-up appointment today,
This year has flown by.
I am over half-way to goal.
I am regaining my mobility. A year ago I needed my mom to drive me and a step to get into her SUV (I couldn't get into her sedan). I couldn't do my own grocery shopping, and couldn't walk or stand very long. Today, I am driving myself, and will probably stop and shop after my appointment.
I am swimming laps 3-4+ times a week (since starting to use a fitness tracker a few months ago, I have swum over 150 miles in laps).
I sleep well and don't oversleep much anymore.
I am starting to be able to participate in life again.
If I don't get at least an "ata girl" at my appointment I am going to be disappointed!

Last New Years, I flew out from Philly to Indianapolis to visit my parents. My dad's younger sister had died two months prior due to complications of diabetes. I was at my heaviest, was depressed, and having back and other health problems. My mom brought up the idea of WLS to me while I was there, and I reacted poorly and defensively. My flight back to Philly was on a slightly smaller plane than the one I flew in on, and I couldn't lower my tray table because of my stomach, and I spent the flight home trying to keep my fat from spilling over into my neighbor's seat and thinking about what my mom had said. I started researching WLS the moment I got home.

Last New Years, I flew out from Philly to Indianapolis to visit my parents. My dad's younger sister had died two months prior due to complications of diabetes. I was at my heaviest, was depressed, and having back and other health problems. My mom brought up the idea of WLS to me while I was there, and I reacted poorly and defensively. My flight back to Philly was on a slightly smaller plane than the one I flew in on, and I couldn't lower my tray table because of my stomach, and I spent the flight home trying to keep my fat from spilling over into my neighbor's seat and thinking about what my mom had said. I started researching WLS the moment I got home.

You look amazing!
I won't ever be seen in a 2-piece, as my tummy is where all my loose skin is, and I won't be able to afford plastics. I'm also ridiculously short-waisted and probably would look silly in a bikini even with a flat stomach. I'm just hoping to get my upper thighs toned up to a point where I feel comfortable wearing a suit without a skirt to it.

I get this feeling like there is a sideways burp that can't come out.

I'm not even sure what this "Dexa" scan is, that you mentioned. @ OutsideMatchInside
I do know this. I am tiny. I was meant to be tiny, that is completely visible to me even at 196 lbs, my wrists are so tiny that the bracelets I have, even adjustable with lobster clasps, I am putting on as tight at they will go, and they are still loose. I just feel like I was always meant to be a truly petite person. I'm only 5' 1", some people here are tall, and going to look completely "average/normal/thin" at a much higher weight. Some people even if short have a larger frame. I don't. I was quite surprised to find out just how tiny I am, under this fat, since I don't remember ever a time when I wasn't fat.
I will naturally lose more weight after belly and thigh loose skin is removed. I have been overweight from age 5 and progressed to super morbidly obese by the time I reached college. That's 45 years, of stretched skin, so they have quite a lot to remove. Perhaps I will have a better idea after that, and know the right weight for me. Maybe my surgeon knows I'll lose 25 lbs in skin. I really don't know how much skin-weight people lose. I have quite an extensive large hanging belly and thighs which look like they are melting over my knees at this point. Thank goodness for good supportive leggings, they are somewhat forgiving. lol
149lbs gone, and 46 more lbs to go! I think I will know better after all that, what a good weight for me will be.

People who have start weights in the 200s, with 40ish BMIs are more likely to get into a "normal" weight range, but for people that have been extremely morbidly obese with BMIs over 50 for a longer period of time have changed bodies. If they meet their Protein goals and maintain their muscle mass, they are going to be heavier with less fat, not even counting in the bone density.
I wish DEXA scans were more widely available and used more by baratric programs in the US like they are used in Europe. They provide the only accurate picture of what is really going with a person and their body composition.

Yup, I've struggled with depression since I was a teenager and have a strong family history of it on my dad's side.
I've tried a variety of antidepressants and have settled into a decent place with a low dose of Effexor (BTW, if you take meds, you may have to adjust them post-op. I have to split my dosage and take it twice a day instead of once after being sleeved, or it makes me nauseated.).
I had been in therapy off and on over the years, but when I had my psych eval before surgery, they recommended that I find a therapist that I could work with through the whole process. So I started seeing someone a few months pre-op, and I am still doing biweekly sessions at 9.5 months out from surgery.
While I am much happier since surgery in a lot of ways, there is a lot of emotional baggage that comes along with massive weight loss. I knew from the start that having surgery and losing the weight wasn't going to magically "cure" my depression, but it's one step in getting to a happier place.
Best of luck!

What the others said-- get rid of them, except for one or two things to keep as the "before"--like I did to compare my size 20W shorts with my new size 2 shorts.

I donated my stuff in one of the bins as the local elementary school where the proceeds go back to the school. Most of my clothes were cheap things from Target, so they were not worth selling.

What the others said-- get rid of them, except for one or two things to keep as the "before"--like I did to compare my size 20W shorts with my new size 2 shorts.

I donated my stuff in one of the bins as the local elementary school where the proceeds go back to the school. Most of my clothes were cheap things from Target, so they were not worth selling.

What the others said-- get rid of them, except for one or two things to keep as the "before"--like I did to compare my size 20W shorts with my new size 2 shorts.

I donated my stuff in one of the bins as the local elementary school where the proceeds go back to the school. Most of my clothes were cheap things from Target, so they were not worth selling.

What the others said-- get rid of them, except for one or two things to keep as the "before"--like I did to compare my size 20W shorts with my new size 2 shorts.

I donated my stuff in one of the bins as the local elementary school where the proceeds go back to the school. Most of my clothes were cheap things from Target, so they were not worth selling.

Yikes. I have to say, with the exception of the Beans and salsa, the rest of that would make me barf even 9.5 months out... but raw eggs, clam chowder, and potted meat would have made me queasy before surgery, too.