"with the band"

Good for you seeking support and affirmation of your decision and a friend to have along the way as you go on the journey can only be positive for you. Good luck and take care - please let us know how you do. Nancy

No but it sounds very good to me. I think I will try this two days on and two days off - just to get my metabolism kick started a little. Let me know how you do.

There is a new reality show you can sign up for called "You are what you eat" on ABC. You can go there to download the application. It sounds really good..... Hey Penni - this might be for you.... Nancy

I am so praying for you and your little girl and your whole family. My heart goes out to you and know that I will be thinking of you often. Take care - nancy

My weirdest offering is Soft Mozzerella Balls and a rock hard wonton wrappers. hmmmmm...maybe I need to clean this fridge out.......

With Me The Fat Fairie tricked me she told me she'd be My friend My family My love so sweet.... The Fat Fairie she left me with all of her lies... Wear black, Wear heels, Wear no stripes to the side. The Fat Fairie she's sly... She's living rent free. She built an addition... She's living with me. nancy jean Thanks to my lap band the fat fairy has been served with an eviction notice.

Ok - I'll do my weights and start practicing my yoga that I want to get into.

The museum is located in Maumee, Ohio which is a suburb of Toledo, Ohio. I will post info for anyone who might be from around here. Nancy

Geez Penni - I hate to hear that you are in this pain. I will be praying for you. I really understand wanting to do both things.....as an artist - I would go for the France thing...... I am going to be your little friend asking you how you are doing - you won't be without the band cause "with the band" is going to be with you cheering you on in your efforts. Take care and I hope you feel better. Nancy

For the few of you who requested to see some of my poetry - here is a little sampling. This one is being published in a magaine called Pyramid Poetry in February- Recorded Errors All is not everything within the spiritual realm of things. No one though to decide the matter, fearing when the ashes scatter. All is all within one's mind, stumbling down the paths and winds. Questions fall through "pulled tight" blinds believing only the truths we find. No matter if that truth is shallow revelations of the cold and hollow. These answers leave recorded errors mixed within our sins and prayers. Holding onto human ways from which I've lived in my day. Ordering Banquets in my soul fighting off the wind and cold. Wanting all I love and share to surround me in life's rocking chair. To tap the gentle rythmned toe that dances in the moonlight glow. To hold the spirit deep inside of joy, of passions sparkling eyes. To taste of life, to always savor love and kindness, Nature's favor. To feel complete...as one who sees the faith and comfort... from my knees. With Me The Fat Fairie tricked me she told me she'd be My friend My family My love so sweet.... The Fat Fairie she left me with all of her lies... Wear black, Wear heels, Wear no stripes to the side. The Fat Fairie she's sly... She's living rent free. She built an addition... She's living with me. Don't Feel Sorry For Me Don't feel sorry for me. Don't look my way and think to yourself "She's so pretty...if only she could lose some weight". I know it's a touchy subject but I don't care. I am full of life and love to share. Maybe it's my private shield, usually people don't enter who are not for real. Sometimes it can give me the ede. I'm friends with some who might have been intimidated instead. I've been up and I've been down. It has been a merry-go-round. I've felt the sting of judging eyes. I've been embarrassed I have cried. But I've also found that I can be. All that matters all I need. I can star in passion's play, I am free... I'm not afraid. Filtered Remains Followed by sadness black in my day. Fearful of gladness hollowed by pain. Sweetness is savored viewed thru the rain. Somehow remembered filtered remains... Solitude teaches, preaches and cries. Left to ourselves without a disguise. Around me the shattered judgments that lie, know not of my shoes, 'nor of my life. And everything matters everything breaks. No wonder the trials we live make us brave. Silly hearts notion Dreams will survive. Little girls still make wishes at night. Blue... Blue is more than the general interpretations of blue. Blue is gentle words of knowing comfort zones of loving. Blue is hard and black as steel cold eyes and anger’s dangerous drive. Blue is deep a non-ending spirit of the soul. Blue is soft so vast in all it touches all it cares to behold. Blue is thoughts I have from me to you. Blue is building passions desire... unbridled truth. Blue is bruised when held within restraints of time and place. Blue is bluer when my heart whispers your name. Blue is here it fills my silent soul. Blue is screaming (the deepest blue) of mortal dreams. Blue is erotica oceans and skies of desire blue...is enveloping blue is blue. Where the world will never find me... You touch me without being near. You hold me captive take me where my heart is shaking from the fear of holding you.... of not... I couldn’t bear...the thought. I want you. I know I am not supposed to reach for that outside my boundaries I have never listened very well... my heart seems captivated by your spell of enticement and desire temptation so strong it consumes before the day...one day. When my heart lies with yours and we discover all the wonder in our minds all the passion in our souls as one... uncovered. I want to give to you. I want to hold you in these arms that feel you there.... and offer all I’m feeling all I care... to show - to bring to your heart today. I touch you in my mind I want to feel you touch me... take me where the world will never find me ......happy. I feel you near - it binds my heart and soul in desire I can’t control. I need you one day... These Secrets In My Soul... I want to go to a deserted tropical paradise I want to bask in the breeze where the sun kisses my skin Caressing my heart and I know... I want to lay in your arms as the sun sets on love to explore passion and freedom and more... I want to lay in your arms. I want to shut from our day all the world. We are but one - two souls... gravitating against all the rules. Love does not mean to be cruel robbing the heart of one’s jewels. Love trips you up and then catches you when you fall. Love is all. I want to discover the warmth of your soul. Where fantastic riches of the soul begs my being to behold... You...to feel the warmth of your touch. These dreams are not enough. I want to ravage and be ravaged in all this passion scene encompassing holding me endlessly in desire. I want to know I need to share these secrets in my soul... my heart my desire my love reaching out for you to know. Hope Without Warning Closing doors peaking round corners trying to escape yesterday. Sealing shut...emotions left to their own devices prone to guilty mis-interruptions distorted from the everyday ho-hum, boring reality. Storing away years of trial, rivers of tears swallowed down with pride, choked on by the pain overflowing inside, taunting my soul's heart. And I can't stop... what has been there's no re-write to pen no time left to mend. No Love in my hands to share. Just this glimpse of the morning hope without warning. A chance that we'll somehow survive. I Believe... God in his infinite wisdom put me here. How can I refrain? Life works - yes in such mysterious ways. Life’s struggle has built my very soul. Trials and heartaches can make one... so very old. And sometimes very cold. I should know... I’ve felt the sting it lives in me... an unwelcome menace to my soul no warmth...no glow just what I know. God holds my hand through forests thick with rain. He heals my pain and sends me back to try again. This sad refrain that bears my name this solemn shame this sordid game of heart... and soul. All I know. God lift me high to feel the light of love this burdened soul this wounded bird has had enough... just a little love just a little love my eyes of tears focus through the rain my heart of years struggles with the pain. I know your name... it’s not the same I'm Going To... You break me in and take me out of my mind. You hold your breath then tell me I’m the one who’s out of line. I draw the line.... never - no more I see the door in my sight. And I know that this, this - just ain’t right... this bitter fight of love. You shake me, hate me fill me deep into my soul this angry cold let’s me go - alone regardless of my intent you look right past the tender kiss the sweetened love we shared - we knew. You forget in moments of pain and rage. You lose track of just who you are talking to it’s me... the one who loved you suffered to be near it’s me... the one who needs you who wishes you could hear. My heart beat my heart bleed in love with you. Can’t you stop can’t you feel.... I’m going to. In All I am thankful to be sensitive to the callousness of the world.... Otherwise I would just be part of it. Turning cold on feelings, growing old feeling... superior instead of accepting the innate Equality in life, the beauty in all offerings of the world. No Moment In Time Laughter fills my heart when I share it with you. Those precious moments of companionship joy and love, hope and passion fill me with happiness laughter with my friend, my best friend. Love fills my soul holds me in it's wondrous spirit healing...holding together the dreams we both share. Smiling and knowing acknowledging the moments that are ours... the living...realizing. How lucky we have been to know... To touch daily that zone of comfort those arms of love... that reach out and know that nothing could ever be so right. For me...for you We're lucky - so lucky to have this time. I love you so much no moment in time, could fill me with joy without you by my side. Played Destiny To feel the savored closeness of every moment... knowledge of our love. A tiny basket finely weaved in fate. Overflowing with a lifetime of joy. To touch you in the starlight to feel your presence in a rush. Spellbound in passion taken by your touch. Held by your loving arms... where I am me. I am completed I am softly sweet. To love you always, My deepest prayer will be. thru life's hard journey... you are the memories. You are the seed, for all of my tomorrows... To be whole to be complete. In your heart I feel the power, that our souls... Played Destiny. Our Hopes Unfold When all around this day evolves into seconds that are gained or lost. When every drop of rain depletes, another hope, another dream. If all else fails I’ll walk your way. and together we can humbly pray. For all is just a lump of clay. we break, we mold, we chip away. All is in our hearts and souls. too much to hold and just let go. We can build our dreams within... and shadows of the world begin. To face, to falter in the night. when we release the faith, that keeps the light. We unleash the power of the soul. and fighting through the wind and cold. Our dreams become reality. our hopes unfold and set us free. Remnants I want to forget the fitful embers of love remnants of all you were to my taken soul. I need to burn from my mind, all these memories; every instinct I know. That lingers through the air that I breathe, as I feel the loss of you so. I feel the cavern, the tear that you leave. I know all is the way it must go. I know so much more that you show or you leave. You’re not everything you’re just everything…I once believed. I can’t begin to go on, I can’t but I do. you push me and inside… in secret…I bleed. All my heart begs to go, all my love, all I know…all I need. I feel you near where my heart holds you dear. I hold you close I let you go… or you leave. You’re not in my dreams you’re just the reason I can’t sleep. So Long The Moments Miles may seperate but distance means nothing to love. Hours have passed to days and months and now years have joined the race. I still need you so... These feelings never go from me. All this distance fuels the fire and fighting through this blind desire... I am strangled, I am bitten, I am certainly... not complete. It seems as if life's cruel game has left its mark of pain and I can't take this anywhere to make it right again. I search the map to find you where and I feel the void...I miss you here. So long the moments of my soul this heart turned red now fights the cold. My love, my dream...my fantasy reaches in darkness to your love so sweet. My eyes wide open wincing truth, this hope...this passion burning through. I hope you guys enjoy these..... any questions regarding my work - you can contact me at visualpoetryart@aol.com nancy jean

Thanks everyone - it is a dream for me. I have literally been scheming this one for about two years. Sept. 04 - DH and I went to Wesern Carribean on a cruise and I met the comedian who performed the first night the next morning when Don & I got up to see the sunrise. Being me - I just had to go talk to him and then I went down to my cabin and got him some of my work and showed him and then proceeded to pump him for the "how do you do this" info I wanted. The same cruise I met a lady in the Hot Tub who happened to tell me that she was the enrichment speaker that day. Of course I asked her a bunch of questions but she really didn't give me anything concrete. I left that cruise and went home and sent out proposals and query letters to a Royal Carribean representative and after a couple of letters back and forth - that lead didn't go anywhere. Time went by and it is Sept. 2005 and DH and I are on an unplanned - impromptu cruise in the Western Carribean again and we are in the hot tub soaking up the bubbles on a particularly choppy day cause of Hurrican Katrina off in the distance. An older Gentleman joined us in the hot tub and just started to talk to DH and I about all kinds of stuff - one of which was that he was working for the cruise line and cruising literally (almost free) doing hardly nothing. I of course had to ask questions and he told me everything and then told me to call him when we all went back to our rooms to get ready for dinner so that he could give me the agency name, address, and owners name, etc. so that I could apply for the things I had in mind that I wanted to do as an enrichment speaker on a cruise. I came home and sent off my application and waited. Nothing. I sent off a little reminder email. Nothing. Then the first week of Jan. on Tuesday I was back in my studio office working and I decided to send the Agency a little tickler letter to see if I could get them to respond. I figured it was the first week of the month (particularly in business this week is notorius for doing absolutely nothing) so I figured it would be now or never to get a response. It worked - the fish took the bait and now I am planning cruises with DH and we are going to be in Hawaii next December for three weeks while I do my seminars. In August - 1st of September - I am planning a trip (working) with my dear friend and sister in law and we are going to go to New York and Bermuda for a week. (We are soooo excited) Then the agent told me next year (2007) I would have a better selection of dates and itineraries to choose from. We can't wait. So all I can say - is don't give up on your dreams. And by the way - this isn't my main dream - that dream is still out there and I feel that this doorway is going to be very responsible for me finding the doorway of the next step leading to my real dream. And that is to become a famous poetry artist and sell my commissioned poetry art all over the world. I envision doing this through cruise ships. That is my dream. And I think I am going to see it. I am very awed by that thought - but I think now - I am getting close. My seminars are varied and some of the titles are Goddess, Angel, Loving Soul.... Wouldn't you choose......Happy? Sketching for fun Soul Quests....Searching for Joy It would be great to do a lap band cruise sometime - maybe our resident arrangers could figure that out. And I would do a special seminar for the Ladies. As far as the poems - I will try to put up a thread and post some for you to review. I don't really put them on a web site as I am very gaurded with my work and usually only publish in magazines, books or do exclusive exhibits of my Poetry Art Walls. But I will share them with you on a seperate thread. If anyone wants to email me you can at visualpoetryart@aol.com for any info on my poetry - my artwork - etc. Thanks for the encouraging words and support. Best of all - Losing the weight will truly help my self esteem when I am taking charge of this endeavor. That's my NSV for the YEAR!!!!!!!

I say South of France......what an opportunity. How are you doing on the war front with the no band....

Don't have all the details yet - but I basicaly have been hired as talent (seminar speaker) for cruises. I get to choose different dates of where I might want to cruise and I earn the cruise for two for doing the speaking seminar. I do seminars on self esteem, learning to love yourself, appreciating the person you are. Uplifting stuff. The name of one of my seminars is Goddess, Angel, Loving Soul..... and another one is Wouldn't you choose...Happy. I and my hubby are very happy. I always said I wanted to retire and go on a world cruise and with this connection I can virtually go all over the world at our choosing for dirt cheap - air fare and spending money. That is too cool since we love cruising anyways.

The other day I posted that I was being considered for a job doing enrichment seminars on cruises. Today I got the official word and a list of 10 cruises (all to Hawaii) that I can choose to work on. I am literally beside myself and my DH is not home yet for me to tell.... he is going to freak....he has been through so many of my schemes and my dreams and my plans....he will not believe what I have pulled off now. I am sooooo excited.

mine was very easy - no problem other than I was in a room with what seemed like a learning convention..... Why me = when they aren't even paying me to be the star....hey - where was my chair? My stylist? Anything....

men always feel compelled to "fix things" and when they can't it hurts them terribly and me do not deal well with that. I went through alot of infertility stuff and it is not worth it. I will pray for you and hope that you find peace. take care - nancy

hundreds of times - being overweight has made me want to give up on this trip. I understand the feeling too well.

Good Luck to you Penni - I think that having gone through all of this - that you will be more than resolved to control this. I am soo sorry for all of your troubles. I really will pray for you and I wish you much luck and hope in the months ahead as you heal and your body adjusts to not having the band. Let us know how you are doing. Take care - nancy

It is great info that you are sharing and we all appreciate it and we are thinking about you and praying for you in your struggle. I feel bad these things have happened to you guys and I know the fear I would feel if I was facing this crazy fight alone - like before. You guys need to stick around so that we can be your sounding board - it must be a hard road to wander down. I really feel for you guys and I would like to know how you do. Take care - and thanks again for the valuable info. Nancy

I can't believe your doc would want you doing an elipitical machine 1 day post op..... it just doesn't make sense.... take it easy and give your body time to heal.

Thanks so much. I am very pschyed up and ready to go gonzo to get this exhibit off the ground and so excited to possibly get booked on a cruise as a lecturer. Too exciting.... thanks, nancy miramu - what type of art do yo do?

Protein is the key here. Do whatever you can to get it in and try to calm down. You will start to feel better. Please take it easy and don't get too excited with regrets. You will - I promise - you will start to feel better.

Took me about 3 or 4 days - then my first trip out was grocery shopping and I found pushing the cart really hard.....wow - I'll never forget that. I think the key is to accept the fact that the band is a tool and that you must be willing to use the tool properly. I think that success is better when I exercise. I know that I can't just expect to let the band do all the work....cause I will wait forever then. I do know that I have the edge now "with the band" that I never had without it. Take care and let us know how you do. Nancy

Awwwwww - Break my heart. My old boy - Prince Arthur - (our beloved long hair daschund) is dying from Cancer (he's 17 yrs. old) and I can literaly feel your pain. Take care. Nancy

I had surgery in Ohio with Dr. Duckett and Dr. Oweiss. They are truly wonderful. They have a monthly info seminar at St. Lukes in the Auditorium at 7:00 pm on the second monday every month. You should check it out. They are considered the best in the area from what I found out during my research of the lap band. Good Luck to you. nancy