Twilight

Well, I haven't had the nerve to take some of those really scary pictures yet. DH says we will but I might have the camera broken by then. I did however find a few pics from the last couple of months that someone had managed to snap before I could do my usual, "Oh no, you get in the picture, I'd love to take it." I wish I could say it was just the coat or the sweater, but in honesty they are both rather thin. It's all me. *sighs* That would be why I'm having this craziness performed on Thursday! I hope these insert...I'm not sure I know what I'm doing

To be honest, because my weight is going to kill me was at the bottom of my list. There had to be more for me if I was going to put out all that money. Maybe it's the way I'm wired but dying was the least of my worries. As my band date draws closer, I get more apprehensive about going through with this. I'm sure that is normal and I'm not going to let it derail me, but what is keeping me on track is my list of reasons that I'm doing this. Those reasons haven't changed. I'm not able to do those things now, so why step off the path. I think that listing out those reasons and looking at them will help everyone stay a little more motivated. If you think so too, please add your reasons here. My Reasons: ~I'm tired of hurting every time I take a step ~I'm afraid I will leave my children to grow up alone (somehow this is not related to a fear of dying....it's about them) ~I want to be able to get down on the floor and play with my baby without wondering how long until I can't get back up ~I want my husband to think I'm attractive, not just the pictures of me when I was 16 ~I want to be able to go to concerts, dinner, and ride airplanes and buses without being uncomfortable about not fitting in the seat ~I don't want to be out of breath walking upstairs with my laundry basket ~I don't want my oldest son to feel like I'm taking advantage of him because I ask him to do all the picking up off the ground ~I want to have the energy to clean my house play with my kids, and cook dinner all the same day.

Heartland, I just read your blog and it's amazing how similar I feel. big difference...you can put it into words. I'll be keeping an eye on it. Thanks for the good read.

Twigs, I'm being banded on the 6th too. I've been doing the pre-op diet since the day after Thanksgiving. The first couple of days were hell but it's getting better every day. I think my nerves are going to be in overdrive starting Monday. Now...their handleable (if that's even a word). good luck to us next week!! Twi

I am definitely getting more apprehensive as the days count down. I've started telling more people and it seems the more I tell, the more apprehensive I am. I guess the more I tell, the more who would be disappointed if I backed out. I justs keep trying to keep my mind focussed on the outcome. I know that I am doing this for me and it is truly what I want. I mean, the reasons I listed in the beginning haven't changed. Maybe I'll start a thread about just that. It might help us all as the time draws closer. But all the logic in the world doesn't help shut up that little voice that's telling me I need to change my mind. It's the same type of voice that told me I needed to pick up a cigarette for the year after I quit. It's the addiction monster. It is finally figuring out that I'm serious about this and it's not happy! Because if it, the 6th can't get here soon enough. Thank goodness for you all who are so supportive of everyone. It keeps me encouraged. I CAN DO THIS!! Twi

I'm in. I'm a 35 year old mother of 3. My kids are 13, 3, and 10 months. I live with my kids and my dear husband in NE Montana. I am a jr. high/ high school math teacher in a teeny tiny school of 73 students k-12. My students are part of my family too. My husband has turned me into a gadget geek along with him. It could be worse if I had more time but for now we spend alot of time online and geocaching when we can. We also enjoy snowmobiling and this summer we bought motorcycles so we could get out and about during the warm season too. I can't wait to start this new life I'm embarking on. I really want to spend more time playing with my kids outside and enjoying life again. Day 3 of pre-op diet and counting down to til the journey begins. Looking forward to talking to everyone and making friends with others who can support me and who I can hopefully support too. Twi

Hi all, I'm beginning my 2 week pre-op diet today. The stress is beginning to build. Reading on this board I'm feeling like I'm on a faster track than most of you all. My insurance will pay nothing for this so I went to a day full of appointments on Tuesday and will be banded 12-6. I think if I had 6 months to wait I'd drive myself crazy. Thank goodness for small favors I guess. Mostly I'm in a constant state of anxious right now. I know this is the best thing. It was all my idea. I did the research, I've read up on everything, it really is what I want to do, but .... now that it's about to be a reality I'm starting to stress. I am trying to keep this feeling that this is just another diet that I will fail at at bay. When I'm rational and thinking I know that this is going to be the last time I take off weight. I KNOW that I'm going to succeed. However, the emotional side of me that beats me up each time I try to lose is telling me I'm crazy. I know...I'm not making a lot of sense. Basically, I want to say hello all. I'm going to be lurking and reading alot the next few days since there is no work until Monday. So....Hello! Twilight

Thanks and hi everyone. Today was a better day. I was too busy shopping up a storm to be really hungry with this stupid pre-op diet. Only problem was that I didn't get a chance to even eat the protien I'm really allowed. Stopped by McD's and got a snackwrap and ate the chicken out of it. After I finished that I wished I had bought three more. Two days down I guess. 11 to go. Hard to believe I'm so close. Monday I go get my blood work done! Thanks for the welcome

Please add me. Day one of pre-op diet....I keep telling myself it will all be worth it. I can do ANYTHING for two weeks. My surgery date is Dec. 6th.