Twilight

Maybe it's just schools in general. I know that my weight loss is now all anyone wants to talk to me about. I'm glad they're interested and everything, but there is a lot more interesting stuff to talk about! I did try to keep it quiet until AFTER the surgery. I knew that as soon as I was gone something would come out. When I came back, everyone was all nose! Now they scrutinize everything I put in my mouth. I loved the comment today that I was going to just disappear in front of their very eyes! Um...I'm still at 200 lbs. I don't think I'm going to just "poof" I just felt like telling them to be a little more "real". I spend a lot more down time in my classroom and a lot less in the copy room or kitchen. It's just easier that way. I guess the only advice I have is that I agree that soon it will be some other bit of gossip. We'll be old news as soon as something juicier comes along. As for the stomach stares, try the same thing I do with the Jr. high boys who talk to my chest, "there is no secret formula written down there....if you are interested the secret to ALL is up here in my HEAD!!" Some self complimenting remark might work. Try turning as soon as you see them check you out, do your best Marilyn, and say, "I know, right! Sveldt if I do say so myself." and walk away. They will get the picture. Good luck. Steph

Julie, Yes, I'm having foot issues. Why is it the only place I can see any difference is in my shoes and my rings???? I sort of did this banding for a WHOLE different weight loss! j/k It is great that we are seeing results in one month! I know that with any other "solution" I would already have been gaining it all back by now. Way to go everyone! Keep up the great work Steph

Way to go Stef!! I love hearing successes. I'm just a month our and some days I wonder if this was really a good choice. Most times I'm optimistic but there are days. I can't wait to shop in the misses department again! I want out of Lane Bryant and CJ Banks. I want the cute stuff the skinny girls wear!!! Keep up the great work. Another Steph

I have been having horrible stabbing pains, or pulling pains, where my big incision is. It started intensly today though I've had twinges on and off for the whole month since I was banded. It hurts when I bend over, or when I twist just a bit to the right. The pain almost brings tears to my eyes it's so intense. But then when I stop and breath and relax it's gone. It isn't constant and until I twist or bend that way again I'm fine. Here are the things that I fear could have hurt me. 1. picking up my 1 yr old. I know that I'm not supposed to lift too much but it's awfully hard not to lift her. She's only about 35 pounds and I am very careful when I do. I have not felt any sudden pulling when I have done so. 2. I moved furniture the last couple of days when I took down my xmas tree. I didn't lift anything too heavy and it did not hurt when I did so. DH did most of the lifting. I slid a lot of stuff. 3. We went out dancing last night. Nothing strenuous, just some two stepping. 4. My DH is finding me attractive again so this last week we have resumed our sex life. Again, nothing strenous, but maybe I bent the wrong way? It didn't hurt when it was happening. I know that many of these things are possible no no's. I know that I need to take it easy for a few days. What I'm really wondering is if I need to go the doc tomorrow and have things looked at more closely. My band doc is 5 hours away so I can't do that, but my local clinic may be able to look at it and tell me something. What do you all think? Did I hurt myself? I'm sure it's port site and not band site. I just don't know where to go next. Any insight would be appreciated. For now, I'm going to sit and relax a bit and try not to hurt myself further. Steph

When I was pregnant three years ago my doc was really big on weight gain. He insisted that I should, at most, gain 10 pounds through the whole pregnancy. He recommended I not gain any. When I questioned the idea that I "diet" while pregnant and how that would be healthy for a baby growing inside me he told me "Stephanie, during WWII there were plenty of women pregnant in concentration camps. They certainly didn't gain weight there and there were plenty of healthy babies born." I'll never forget it. I went home and cried. This is also the man who told me that the "correct" way to lose weight would be to cut my diet by 100 calories a day. That would give me a weight loss of 1 pound a month and I would have a better chance of keeping it off if I lost slowly like that. I would have been "dieting" for 10 years to get close to my goal. The kicker, I hear 10 years ago, he was a fatty too!

I've never done this before but I want to go for it. A couple of questions....I go for a weigh in on Tuesday. 206 was op weight and I know I'm down from that, just not sure how much. Can I adjust my goal after that? Second, does the biggest loser win a million bucks? Regardless, I'm in! name ........ starting# .... current#......goal#.....togo# Rainer..........264............264..........248.......16 wombat712.......154.8..........154.8........140.......14.8 LessnLess.......172............172..........164.......8 metawnny........252............252..........240.......12 Skinny_Jill.....195............195..........180.......15 Candle .........218............218..........207.......11 KarenG..........207............207..........199.......8 Hoppingto......350............314..........294.......20 SWEETY..........180............180..........170.......10 juliegeraci.....220............220..........210.......8 Trystelle.......219............219..........205.......14 Susan4794.......240............240..........225.......15 rharriet........367............256..........248.......8 nip50...........250............250..........238.......12 keekahari.......220............220..........205.......15 Hollyberries....298............298..........285.......13 Stacy73.........230............230..........222.......8 Irishmae11......233............233..........219.......14 jfran...........187............187..........177.......10 liz_hager.......202............202..........190.......12 SueMagoo.......230............229..........220.......9 MJRouse84.......274............233..........218.......15 Cagstorm........360............360..........345.......15 Jsrico..........255............178..........165.......13 kjl315..........237.5..........237.5........220.......17.5 chickatee.......188............188..........175.......13 want2lose.......236............236..........225.......11 Cerrin..........350............350..........325.......25 Twilight........206............206..........185.......21

I read somewhere that the difference between a size 6 and 8 as apposed to the difference between a 2x and 3x if much more noticable. I'm sure as soon as you start dropping sizes they will seem to fly by. I've read some of Jack's posts and I think he makes that point often. I'm the same "size" but my curves are starting to curve in instead of out. I'm no longer one big square! You'll be changing sizes in no time if you keep your momentum. I still say I'm in awe of your success! Steph Steph

Bert, It's tough! I'm struggling too. Remember the first few days on liquids pre-op? I thought I was going to die! I was ready to call in and tell the coordinator to kiss my @$$! But in the end I told myself that I could do ANYTHING for 2 weeks. And then I had surgery and looked and 3 more weeks liquids! Uh....who were they trying to kid? But, if I did two weeks before why couldn't I do three weeks this time? Peanut Butter is my absolute weakness! I stood and smelled and sniffed, and frothed at the mouth every time I made my son a pbj (and he's an addict to pbj's). And then I licked the knife, and it was the worst thing I ever did because I couldn't get by on smelling anymore. I had to have a taste...then I had to have a spoonful....then I was about to make a sandwich. And I snapped myself out of it. I AM stronger than my addiction. YOU are stronger than yours. If you CAN'T throw away the nutella (because I would have been lynched had I tried to get rid of the peanut butter) insist that you don't go anywhere near it. Don't smell it, don't look at it, don't have any part of it. It's like telling an alcoholic he can have a sip of wine. Right now, we're not that strong. Another thing I did to help me work through was I realized I was an addict. My drug of choice just happens to be food. It has the same effect on me as heroin, meth, or alcohol does on those addicts. Then I watched that movie about the lady that goes into rehab...."28 days". and listened to some of the advice they gave. I know it's hollywood but the advice isn't all bad. Try to hear the why they do what they do and see if you can do some of those same things without being "committed". I see my band as an intervention of sorts. It just so happens I had to have my own intervention instead of my loved ones ganging up on me. Forgive yourself for messing up, and get back on track. We all mess up and the key is not letting it completely derail you. In the past we've allowed our failures to consume us and give up on ourselves. We no longer have to do that because we aren't doing this alone. We have our bands (even though they aren't working yet) and each other. Don't get down on yourself.....it's to hard to get back up. Learn your triggers. Take it for what it is, a step back, and since you've already taken the step forward once, just follow in your own footprints. You'll be moving in the right direction again and all will be well. Good Luck and keep us posted on your progress as well as your state of mind. Steph

I'm staying on plan today because FINALLY my curves are starting to go in instead of out! I have HIPS today!!!! I'm staying on plan today because I ran yesterday (a short distance) for the first time in 15 years. I'm staying on plan today because I love me!

Bert, There is another thread on one of the other pages that gives me a lot of this type of inspiration....It's long and I haven't read the whole thing, but there are some good stuff. Maybe you can find something there. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/i-am-staying-plan-today-because-40458/ I also get a lot from people's tag lines. Good luck. We all need inspiration. Steph

Joy, I forgot to mention that I've found a great protein drink at Rueb's. It's over by the produce and it's called Purely Protein. It has 42g per bottle and a serving is 8 oz so you're getting a little more than 10g per glass. It's fairly low carb/calorie it seems and it tastes a heck of a lot better than the slimfast or atkins that we can get around here. Not quite as thick. Oh...and it tastes like a latte milkshake. Good for my latte cravings I guess. I have one glass for breakfast and another right before bed. It seems to curb my night cravings. I just found out how many protein grams are in cottage cheese!!! And Dr. K thought it was a bad food for me to eat. Bah on him! BTW, you mentioned the PA you go to in a previous post. I'm assuming that is here in p'wood. Did she learn the technique? Just curious in case of emergency. Okay...I'll sign off now. Wow. We really do need to get together to chat! I have questions and questions and more questions it seems. Steph

Skinny, which doc are you going to get going with? Dr. Schmidt did my banding and was nice the one time I met him. I will have fills done by a PA it seems. That's who the appt. is with on the 8th, so I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I guess I'm a little disappointed in the amount of communication I'm getting. However it does sound like he does fills himself in Minot (or at least he is in Minot) once a month. That was one deciding factor. That I didn't have to go all the way to Bismarck for support group and fills. Besides, he's sorta cute Let's talk, Steph

Thanks for your kind words Joy. This season has not been the kindest for me. Yet, I'm the one who puts it in my mouth so I have noone to blame but myself. I liked my surgeon and my coordinator was great. It's the nurses that I'm having some issues with. The first time I left a message they called back and didn't even know who they were calling. The second time they didn't know which surgery I had done, thought I was a gall bladder. Once we got that straightened out they gave me conflicting advice from my coordinator. Called coordinator and she said they were crazy. This last time they just treated me like I was wasting their time. for 13k I think I get to waste their time a bit. They can listen to me, reassure me, and really listen to my worries. There is a year of aftercare included in the self-pay so I'll see how that goes. Great Falls isn't "out of the question" if I'm completely unhappy. It will cost more, but it's my health and well-being so I have to say it would be worth it. I'll see what kind of answers I get on Tuesday. I plan on having a real heart to heart with all involved and explain how they have treated me, in case they haven't noticed. I'm not sure who you skinny is, but I'd love to get together with everyone. Have you all been exercising. I'm thinking about starting to walk. I know the school is open most evenings and there is the hospital basement (though I've never walked there). I need to get moving. I'm slow and very out of shape but if anyone would like to join me, I'm in definite need of a buddy. Hubby won't do it with me and I hate to do it alone. Let me know if anyone is interested. I'll give you a call next week when I know more of what is going on. Maybe we can do coffee at the Bistro or something. I want to get my first fill in before I can truly evaluate. I'll be back Wed. evening. Steph

My surgeon's nurses SUCK! I'm so frustrated with them right now! Okay....here comes a rant. Click off if you don't want to hear it. but Sunshine asked! the first time I called after surgery the nurse called back and didn't even know my name....she called my Tiffany. Obviously she hadn't looked at my chart or anything. Second time, when I was feeling fluish, nurse called me back and didn't even know what my surgery was. She thought I had dmy gall blader removed. (after I had left a detailed message about my question) and didn't know why I was so concerned about vomiting. She then called back after talking to the PA and said it was no big deal to vomit and that I shouldn't worry about it (4 days out of surgery). This time, she said she didn't really have any idea what could be causing the pain but since she didn't know it must not be any big deal and to not worry about it. My name is Stephanie, I'm a lap band patient, and was told repeatedly pre-surgery NOT to vomit! And now I have a pain that I worry may be a flipped port and she tells me not to worry about it! I have an appointment on the 8th and plan to give the place a piece of my mind. I want to do it face to face instead of over the phone. I also plan on writing something and sending it to my actual surgeon and the administration. Possibly the band companies and the AMA. I've never been so frustrated in my life. I'm sure I'm fine and I will not leave on the 8th until I have some answers and an apology! I may turn into their worst nightmare! so, the short of it sunshine is that I do not know what the problem is. Hopefully someone will tell me something next Tuesday. The pain is basically there in the mornings. Once it hurts, it is painful to the touch. It feels almost like I've torn something out of where they placed my port. But it goes away once I get moving and working. Since you're okay at a year, it makes me hopeful that it really isn't something serious. I'll let you know though. Thanks for asking, Sorry about the rant Steph

I just thought I'd post something here that I didn't know until I dug on the other forums. Our bodies can only process 20 - 30 grams of Protein at one time. I was hunting for good stuff to buy so that I could get my 100g per day (which at this point is a pipe dream) and found some great stuff with 45 - 50 g and thought that was the magic stuff. Well, if I drink that, then half of it is wasted and just gets processed out I guess. So even though I would get the grams I would only process half of the needed amount and be falling behind. I wish my dietician would have told me that. :omg: I asked the health teacher at school and he confirmed it. So, buyer beware....more is not necessarily better. did your dieticians tell you that? Steph

Roberta, Wow, what a change! I wish I could see something similar but there is nothing. My pants fit better I guess, but nothing I'm noticing in my face. You look awesome! I almost wish my doc had said clear fluids for 30 days. There doesn't seem to be anything I'm wanting that I'm not allowed anymore. You're awesome! Take comfort in that 30 day diet. It's paying off for you. Steph

Joy and Skinny, I am now having some tough times. Can't wait until I start getting some restriction. My first fill is the 8th! I'd love to get together some time. As soon as school gets going again, I'll try to set something up. I'd love to hear any experiences. Skinny, I'm not sure I'm thrilled with Bismarck. I have some issues. We can talk about it. Steph

Chris, I'm sure that was disappointing after all this time thinking it was coming today. On the plus side, you're doing something wonderful if he didn't think you needed the fill. Keep up the awesome work and the 17th will be here in no time. On the other side.... BITES??? How in the world do you count bites? I thought you were doing great with the 1/2 cup thing. Now you have me scared about the 8th. However, I've not been able to keep it under 1 cup yet. I'm working this week on getting my Water in this week. That is my goal. Set yourself a goal that maybe has NOTHING to do with weight and it will help you focus. Good luck on waiting. You're doing awesome right now. Hold on to that. Steph

I want to get down on the floor with my baby and not worry about not getting back up I want to be a good role model for my kids and my students. I want to have the energy to go to the park and PLAY with my kids and not just watch I want to go to the pool with the kids this summer and actually get in, not sit on the side I want to play basketball with my son and enjoy it, not just fetch his balls I want to go on a float trip with my family and them not make stupid comments like "Do you need your own raft? or "You'll sink us." I want my husband to be able to look at me and say I'm hot now, not just I was hot 15-20 years ago. I want to go to my 20 year reunion and people to say "Wow, she's not fat anymore." I want to look in the mirror and say "Wow, I'm not fat anymore!" I want to be beautiful Steph

CityGirl, You say it well. Thank's for the level head. This is a touchy subject and we are all very raw emotionally right now. We get our hackles up very quickly. Our bodies are going nuts with what we are forcing them to do I guess. A fresh day and a fresh perspective today tells me that I'm going to be okay today. i'm going to stay on-plan and I'm going to be good to myself because of it. I hope you all can be strong today. I'm Stephanie and I'm an overeater! Steph

Oh...the hubby stories. I have to tell this one. We (me, my DH, my 13yo son, my 3yo son, and my 11 mo daughter) were traveling by car to my mother's house 12 hours away. We stopped at McD's so that they could eat, decided to drive through. Well, hubby, who swears he's going to try to eat like me and lose some weight too, is just INHALING his food. I look in the back seat and 13yo is chewing with his mouth open and gulping. I lost it. I mean, do I live with a pack of wolves??? Have they always been this horrible? Did I look like that before this started and that's why I never noticed? Good lord it was nasty. I snapped. I yelled. I'm not proud of it, but they shouldn't be either. I don't think we noticed before our entire life was focussed on this silicone/plastic contraption that has invaded our bodies. (I love my band and I am looking forward to the journey, but it is an alien being in there at this point.) I just had to join the significant other bashing Steph

My nutrition guide says that when you go onto soft foods you are to stop drinking with your meals. My papers say 30 mins before and after. I have really tried to limit my drinking with meals since I was banded. Hard to do when you're on liquids Right now I'm good about 75% of the time. The rest I need something to wash it down. What I am thinking, is if I'm chewing well enough, there is enough spit in my mouth to wash it down for me....and if I'm not, that is when I'm needing to drink. I think this is another guideline that docs differ on. Have you asked your coordinator/surgeon's office? Steph

This whole process is hard. There isn't one easy part about it. Except maybe choosing chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry Protein shakes. The two weeks before on liquids sucked. The three weeks after on liquids sucked more. Then there was mushies that didn't even smell good. Now there is softs that just taunt with their calories and I can't say no to. This is HARD! Just because you cheat does not make you a cheater. It isn't WHO you are, it's what you did. If it happens you come here and say I'm dying for good food and I ate it! Then you remember why you are going through all this hell and that you aren't alone. We ALL want to eat. We all want to eat NOW!! That's why we needed the band in the first place. Some of us say "Thank goodness. I did it too." And others say "Come on, you can get through this!" It is all support and we need both types. I need to know I'm not alone and I need someone to tell me to buck up. There is no reason to feel like you shouldn't state how you feel. We need to learn to be more compassionate and see things through other's eyes. Every post on this board serves a purpose of some sort. It will give another hope or maybe help them understand what they are going through better. I'm not saying, "Why can't we all just get along." I'm saying we need to take a deep breath, back up, and understand that this is HARD on all of us. I appreciate Heavy's comments. Hell, he has broke the 50 pound mark in less than a month! I also appreciate knowing that I'm not the only one who struggles every day. If I could do this alone, I wouldn't be here. Would you? (okay, off my soapbox) Steph

Thanks Kacee. As soon as I complained about it, it seemed to stop bugging me. Sort of like my car when I go to the mechanic. But now that I'm sitting down and relaxing again it is beginning to be irritated again. I will call and try to get into the doc tomorrow. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Steph

That is amazing Heavy. I'm in awe. There are definitely some great pay offs for staying with it. 50 in a month! I don't even know what to say! I hope you are feeling as good as it sounds. I can't imagine how I'll feel in 30 more pounds (that will be about my 50). The change now is unbelievable. So kudos to you. I look to you for my advice. You've obviously been doing something right. Thank you for your inspiration. Steph