CanyonBaby

Thank you, you are so sweet! Dave's last chemo treatment until after surgery, began this morning. His white blood count is on the low side of normal, so he will have a shot for that on Friday, after the rest of the chemo is finished. His blood pressure is higher than we'd like, but that may be "white-coat" syndrome. Little nausea (YAY!), and it appears the Avastin causes the dryness which in turn causes the nose-bleeds. None of that this treatment, as he needs to stop that one 4-6 weeks prior to surgery (for the bleeding). We're on board for scheduling the PET scan and meeting with the surgeon in the next 2 weeks. We head to Montana for his annual law enforcement refresher next week, so a little break for me!!! I get to go with!!! YAY! House and dog sitter are in place, and Lord willing, all will be peaceful and calm!!! I got him some dark chocolate covered walnuts and WOW are those good! He has a huge milkshake everyday, and is thoroughly sick of them! Gotta find fattening treats for him, but it is a challenge. He is maintaining the weight he is at, but it is hard! I don't seem to have that problem! I am happy to stay where I am at. These next couple of weeks will be crazy, so I'll try hard to keep in touch. Thanks, all for your prayers, we sure appreciate them!!!

So, many of you know about my husband's cancer situation, so I won't bore you with the details of that. I am having a party for him, prior to his surgery, so folks who know and love him can come and visit, party, just have a good time. I have asked a couple of folks to hold a healing prayer for him during the party. THIS is my dilemma: The two I asked, independently, both e-mailed back, saying they were honored to do this for him. This was a couple of weeks ago. Wednesday they called him to meet with them, and then told him they wouldn't do the prayer, because it would be "a spectacle". Yes, a "SPECTACLE". Dave was in the middle of his 3-day chemo treatment at the time, and carrying his treatment pump with him, but did they care about that? No. Did they care that he was in the middle of terrible side effects and feeling horribly physically? No. They were more concerned about THEIR potential embarrassment at having to say a prayer for him publicly. They not only insulted Dave by saying this, but also every single soul that has ever and would ever say a healing prayer publicly, including Christ Himself. These people are supposedly Christians, as elders and councilmen for the church I attend. Did they come to me and gracefully back out, stating uncomfortableness? No. Would I have had a problem with it if they had? No. Not a bit. There are lots who are uncomfortable with public speaking. Instead, they chose to drag a sick man to them, insult him, repeatedly saying how much of a "spectacle" this would be. You can imagine how hurt Dave was over this. It is not enough he must deal with this cancer and all the "joys" that go with it. They must corner him, then nail him. I have since asked a couple of other folks to lead the prayer, who have graciously agreed, and will provide an awesome experience. I cannot thank them enough for this. Now tomorrow is Sunday, and I am trying to decide whether to go to church and call these two souls out on this. I have yet to see them or talk to them, and I have to admit I am LIVID. The church as a whole has been invited to participate in the party, and they prayer has been offered to all who would like healing. This prayer is a simple, heart-felt offering by whomever wishes to speak, asking for healing for the afflicted, who are present. That's it. Period. Simple. Why has it become about these two people? I will not allow them on my property, for fear of them hurling more insults at my husband. So, what do I do, if anything? I feel the church itself should know what is going on, and that these two are representing it. We do not have a pastor, they have fired the last one. I need help with this, I am beyond words. I am afraid if I speak, all kinds of horrible things will come out. So many of you have blessed me with your words of wisdom and kindness, maybe you can offer some advice. The party is on the 8th of this month, so there is only one Sunday, tomorrow, in which to call them out publicly. I am also concerned if I don't show up tomorrow, they will say the party is called off, or something else that is untrue. As it stands now, neither my husband or myself wish to continue attending this church as long as they are in charge. If you can offer any suggestions, please do. Also, our party starts at 4pm Pacific Time, would you please offer up a prayer for healing of my husband, if you are so inclined? We would be most grateful. Again I thank all of you for your heart-felt support and love. I will forever be in your debt. Jenifer

So the party went very well, and even the 2 "rudies" were well behaved! And quiet and respectful, for the most part, even though they were too chicken to face me! We had about 25 folks, young and old, who came and had a great time, a few tears, lots of food and fun with the yard games...including "combat croquet"...you gotta try it!!!! Dave's last chemo before surgery is this coming week, and he has a bad hand infection. Hopefully we can get that addressed tomorrow morning. Then, come September - and we don't yet know the date - is the surgery. He's doing well, but frail-looking, and, of course, fatigued. This last chemo will have one less drug, so maybe that will ease up on some of the side effects. Hope so. I thank you all for your continuing prayers, and VERY helpful advice! I will keep you up to date as things progress. May the Good Lord truly bless all of you and all you do.....love, Jenifer

I'm thinking maybe portion out a small part of the chicken (a percentage of what you would normally eat after your surgery) to enjoy, either after you eat the rest of your meal (like a dessert, almost), or during, just so you can have that taste, yet still be in control. Make the rest of the meal the main part of your meal, and not the chicken. But just make sure the rest of the meal is just as yummy, but still healthy, so you don't want more of the chicken than you think you should have. This has worked great for me, I still get my "treat", but not so much it will blow me off my track! Good luck!

I have been having this terrible problem, and was wondering if anyone else can relate, and HOPEFULLY have some good advice for it. For the first 50lbs of loss, I could really see physically changes in my body. The face was back to "normal", fitting in large and medium sizes, taking up less room on seats.... My problem is this: I've lost about 6 more lbs since then, and my "mental" image appears to be as "stuck" as my weight stall. Now I look in the mirror and all I see is that woman who was 56lbs heavier, no change in the face or other parts of the body! The weight is still gone, I can still fit in those smaller sizes, but the IMAGE of the old me has come back to haunt me! I can't seem to SEE the changes in the mirror anymore! I just look like the same old person, still at my original, pre-surgery weight. And it's NOT pretty! I don't know why I can't get past that image. My husband tells me I look great, people have really commented on how much I have changed (I have never held back on telling people about my surgery) for the better. My problem is ME. Anyone else have this "haunting" occurring? And if so, how are you addressing it? How do you convince your MIND that the changes are real, and aren't going to go away, because right now, I can't seem to believe I won't be going backwards to that same old image for good. I know it's a psychological issue, but after being heavy for so long, it seems I cannot get that heavy picture out of my mind. No matter if I put on my new clothes, or step on the scale, the image doesn't change. How long did it take you to get past this, if this has affected you?

@Kate_UK@borg/assimilated Ok. You did it again. Get the tissues....... unmentionable sound. You guys are soooo awesome. Just so awesome. Thank you!

Seen on a local sign: "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right". Amen to that!

"Ask and ye shall receive..." And POW!!! Did I receive!!! THIS is why I come here! I needed to vent this hot air from my system, to release my turmoil (as if losing sleep over an ill husband isn't enough, huh?!), because I have gotten very little sleep over this since Wednesday. There is sure a lot of spiritual warfare going on in our lives right now. You have, once again, allowed me to get this off my chest, and have, once again, come to my rescue! I will do as you ALL have suggested: pray for them (I must admit, this will be a serious challenge for me), and let this lie. I will work at releasing it, but since I first started reading your responses, it HAS been leaving me!!! I can honestly say I don't know how I'll react if they show up at the party. Maybe by then (I have a week to work on it) I will be able to let all of it go. I have decided that returning to this church would be a mistake. I need one that can support me, instead of me having to justify what I do to a bunch of hypocrites. Unfortunately for me, one of these men is a neighbor, so we might see him from time to time, just in a passing-by scenario. I thank you all for your time and consideration of this situation, for your prayers and kind words...you are truly an inspiration for me. Update on Dave: he had his fifth chemo treatment set this past week, with side effects ranging from nausea/vomiting, extreme fatigue, facial sores, nose bleeds, and no appetite. Same as before, for the most part. He is maintaining his weight, but I am truly fighting a battle there. This chemo apparently sends a false satiation sensation to the brain, so he doesn't want to eat (bottle THAT for us WLS'ers!!!). I have to force it in him and he doesn't like my nagging about it. Everything he eats has mega calories and fat, sugar...to keep him at his current weight - he must be getting in 5000 to 10000 cal. a day! And STILL won't gain! Anyone seeing a HUGE irony here, besides me?!!!! Feed him all I can, while trying to stay on my plan! HA!!! I, too, am maintaining, but have stopped losing. But I am happy with what I have lost, and do my best to stay at what I am now. Dave has one more treatment set to do before surgery. He will not have the Avastin this time, as it has to be out of his system before the surgery, so the colon can heal. 4-6 weeks after the last treatment he will have the surgery. Since he still has not had the PET scan, we still don't know the extent of the cancer. Here's where a good prayer can help: pray that the cancer has NOT invaded any other areas within him, that it is localized to the colon area (tumor) ONLY. And that the surgery can fully remove it and any surrounding bits. I've prayed this so much God MUST be tired of hearing it by now! But I believe in the power of prayer, and in God's will. I will keep you apprised of the situation, as I know more. Thank you all sooooo much, for everything. YOU are my blessing!

@@HappygoSusan This, THIS is the one I've been waiting for! It IS true!!!

Well folks, it's not good news. My husband, Dave, has stage 4 colon cancer. It has been a very rough day. They will not remove the tumor until chemo has settled the rest of the cancer down, then they will consider removing the tumor. We are in total shock, obviously. Now the real work begins. The praying never stops. The true love of friends is revealed, and peace WILL fall over us all. We thank ALL of you for your prayers and kindly thoughts, for being there. Now I MUST dig inside and find enough strength to help him through this, to carry him as he has carried me through all the hard times that have come before. Right now it seems things are about to get crazy, so I will be pulling back from answering on this site. I will try to post updates as time permits, but please understand this is all so draining. We are SOOOOO touched by all of your support, you may never know what it really means to us. We ask that you keep praying for us, every prayer is heard. God bless you all, safe journeys, everyone...... Jenifer

@@JustWatchMe Thanks so much, one day at a time.....

@@Cunninglinguist It is very easy, especially when we who have battled weight issues (and the ensuing hurtful things people say and do towards us) to become overly sensitive to any comments made that may rustle our feathers. Even if those comments aren't meant to do so. Now, you assumed I slung some bad things at you, and I did not. For a "cunning linguist" you are not interpreting correctly that which is put out there, by me. "Indicate" does not necessarily mean it is a fact, just a hint of what might or could be. Not everyone is slinging bad things at you, and if, indeed you ARE a mature person, you would see that. Yes, people have taken offense at your "name", I have not. When you advance (if you are blessed enough to do so) to my great age, you will see that words of this nature are SO very petty and unimportant. Your youth and lack of maturity is blatant and not flattering in this instance. When someone "picks" on you, calls you names, bullies you, the best thing you can do is approach it with a mature stance; consider the source, reflect quietly on said offense, deem appropriate action (if any is needed), apply said action (again, if necessary), and move forward. Again I leave you with peaceful thoughts, and kind words. I'm off to church now, and I'll say a prayer for you as well as all of my bariatric pals I have found on this site.

@@Cunninglinguist Ah, perhaps. But having to reflect on the age/gender/race.......indicates a lack of maturity. It is alright to comment as one feels necessary, that is what is beautiful about free speech. Having to bring up personal qualifications (age) has absolutely nothing to do with your subject matter, and can be construed as mean or ugly. Why let it go that direction? Peace, my friend, peace.

@@MrsSugarbabe You are always so sweet and kind...thank you...

I appreciate your original post, but why pick on the retirement set? I, too, am of that age, and am fairly well educated, up on most things in this day and age. However, unless you LIKE the alternative, old age is a blessing. Just ask my husband who has stage 4 colon cancer.

@@SassyTassy My suggestion...stop, drop (all the losers), and roll into your new life with an open mind. Make your list of what you need and want in a partner, give it to God to fill that list, and WAIT. Wait for it to happen. Have faith that He will fulfill your list, and be ready for it. Get your mind on other things that will keep you busy until you meet your person. Who better to find the one than the One who made you? It worked for me. ALL of the above. I KNOW this as my husband is EXACTLY nine months younger than me....TO THE DAY. Make your list. Give it to God. TRUST.

Thank you guys, you all mean so much to me and help get through the days. Thank you.

@ And I HAVE hot wings........especially when it is over 90 degrees....... Ok. Maybe not so "hot"!!!!

Thank you, going forward as best as we can. Some days slower than others, don't you know. BUT, my new pups fill me with joy s do reading your posts. MN hugs are the BEST!

Another sad day for us, as we had to put to sleep two of our cats, one 19 and the other 16. It seems my life is centered around death as of late, we've lost so many pets (due to illnesses associated with old age), a total of 6 in the last year and a half. Plus my husband's cancer...it is still unbelievable I am even saying that word, let alone him having it. He finished his 4th round of chemo this week, with stronger side effects this time. His nausea (and all the "joys" that go with it) is very much a part of his days now. Plus he is developing small sores on his face. His fatigue is the worst, as it affects his mood as well as his energy level. He sleeps through the 3 days of chemo, and it very slowly wears off until the next round. It's very hard to get things done, as he wants me to be with him as he rests on the couch. It's also been very hard to get him to follow his plan of action: eating, hydrating, taking the endless amounts of supplements, and exercising. He is drooping before my eyes. The chemo takes away the appetite, and gives the body an early satiety. So he doesn't want to eat, and he is supposed to consume 103-130g of Protein a day. And we think it's hard to do the 60-80!!! So I'm down to 4 pets, now: 2 dogs and 2 cats. And until the pups are 5 years old, we'll not add any more. Less work, yes, but those pets have become my kids. I miss them terribly, as each one has defined their personality for us. And each one has an important role to play in the household. My babies. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders for awhile. It always helps me to chat with you. You, too, are in MY prayers... God Bless, people.

While I don't know exact costs, I can suggest calling around or doing a search on the internet for pricing. We had a plastic surgeon come to our support group meeting a few months ago, and he went over all aspects of each surgery, and their costs. Most were not (big surprise) covered by insurance. He also said there were payment plans available with most surgeons' offices. Not much info, I know, but perhaps a starting point? Good luck to you! PS. If you're going somewhere else for your surgery, may I suggest it be an awesome place to have a mini-vacation prior to your surgery???! May as well have some fun in the process!

I think your story was wonderful, and names are just that...names. While I don't particularly care for the "nastier" def. of the name, the true definition is totally respectful. So I gotta ask....is there another lunch scheduled???? How did she respond when you told her your situation? It sounded like she asked in a very appropriate manner, and is a caring person. And good for you for be bold, both in asking her out and in sharing. Well done!

I am rolling, people, ROLLING in the aisles!!! Thanks for making my day a SOOOO much better one!

@@Catherine Davis Oh, bless your heart! Have you thought about going out for a "me" day....a day just for you, to play, have a new "do", facial, mani/pedi, new handbag, outfit, or just a walk/hike in a fantastic park, forest or m-a-l-l (4-letter word, to my husband!!!!)? Every now and then you need a treat, to remind you of what you are doing for yourself, and why. It is a hard job, a challenge emotionally AND physically to do what we do, and you need to make it SPECIAL! Because YOU are!!!! Your treat doesn't have to cost much, if anything, but make it something that will achieve what you need...an affirmation of your importance, and WORTH! You are NOT a fat old woman, you are a beautiful, special, amazing FORCE...to be admired in every imaginable way! And DON'T forget that!!!!

@@UK Cathy Hi, Cathy! Well, today was chemo treatment #4, and went smoothly. He once again has the pump with him until he has it removed on Thursday afternoon. His surgery has been rescheduled for sometime in September, due to the fact the Avastin he is on during chemo has to be out of his system before the surgery, so they figure it will take 4-6 weeks for that. He will more than likely have the PET scan just before the surgery. Dave's spirits are good, his bloodwork remains good, he is only slightly anemic, but better than he was initially. His side effects are minimal, although this session was the worst for the nausea. The staff tell us this should lessen as his body adjusts to the chemo. sleep is sporadic for both of us, but adequate. Just wish we could get some more. Dave's difficulty is mostly with the pack he carries around for 3 days. It is challenging while in bed. All in all, he is doing great! What a blessing, and that, I am CONVINCED, is from all the prayers you and all our friends/family are sending up to the Great Almighty! We are also blessed by the fact it has cooled down (finally!) here, down into the 80's. That makes everyone's mood a lot happier! I hope you are having a wonderful summer, and thanks so much for your prayers and concern. I just love you all!