Cota1262

LOL, I know what you mean about eating everything now but Dr Kirk told me if I weighed more the day of surgery than when I came in originally, then the surgeon could cancel the surgery due to non compliance. Yikes. I got my sleep study scheduled today. Thank goodness they just had a cancellation or I might be waiting awhile. I go in this Sunday night. Hopefully I pass and he cancels the cpap machine. A girl can dream, right? lol

Yeah, that crossed my mind too lol. But their more than welcome to jump in anytime :-)

LOL yes you can dream except you'll be dreaming with a mask on your face for just a while longer. After the surgery I bet you'll get to get rid of it for good!!! At least that's what I hope happens with me you know we could continue our conversation over email or messages on here? I bet people are tired of seeing just you and I chatting LOL. Just a suggestion.

Just for the fun of it, they should make you do it again lol. I have really tried following the Protein diet, cutting out caffeine and carbonated beverages but I sure am missing my "regular" food. No soda in almost a month and severely cut out a lot of the carbs. I love sweets so this is killing me. I guess the sweets was really the one killing me lol

I sometimes think about it being a mistake. I think it's normal from what I've read on here. It's a huge life change but everyone on here and other sites I've seen say it's well worth it. But ultimately it's up to you in the end. We are here for you though

Maybe a couple times, I thought, is this really what I need to do, plus spending 4800 is a lot of money I thought could be spent on family things and not something just for me only. Im not used to focusing on me, always others, but I decided it was my turn, I deserved to be healthy and happy.

That's great. I'm very happy for you.

Greetings All ~
I want to thank you all for your support. I gathered my family members in the front room and broke the news. As I was half way thru I started crying (what put me over the edge was my almost 21 yr old daughter with tears streaming down her face) as I was saying my speech.
Honestly the remainder if my speech is a blur to me but my mom said I covered all the bases.
I then gave all the family members a " family gift" as I do every Xmas. This year it was a stainless steel silver band with black enamel. Telling them just in case I wanted them all to know how much they mean to me and that I love them.
Other than all the stunned faces they appeared to get on the me train and claimed to offer anything I need.
End of story I'm relieved that I no longer have the secret and got the best possible outcome.
No judgement!!
Again thank you all for your support. Y'all know exactly how this feels in your own worlds.
????????

Good luck. I know how hard it is. I'm not telling any family at all. They won't understand and I don't need the stress. Hopefully your family is more understanding than mine.

Good luck. I know how hard it is. I'm not telling any family at all. They won't understand and I don't need the stress. Hopefully your family is more understanding than mine.

So a few things happened last night that had me thinking that I should change the way I perceive myself.
So last night my friend had a sayonara party, she's leaving Japan. At some point everyone decided to tell about the first time we met our friend or some funny story. Well I'm a very very shy person so when it got around to me, my face was hot and I had tears in my eyes because I really don't like so much attention on me!! I told a really lame and short story and we left it at at, but I felt so bad that I messed that up.
After the goodbye party some people decided to go to a club for dancing. I'm sure you guys could figure out how I feel about bars and clubs. So we get to the club and while everyone else is dancing and having fun I'm sitting at the table watching. I have rhythm but I'm just awkward and I don't know what to do with my hands.
I finally go on the dance floor and while I'm moving from side to side feeling embarrassed because I think people are thinking "oh God, a fat girl. I hope she doesn't step on my toes," I'm looking at this Japanese girl trying to dance and then I think, 'well she looks like she's having fun,' and it hit me that I really shouldn't be so worried about not being the best dancer, it's about having fun!
So around 3am I decided to leave this group and see my other friend at his bar since it was his one year bar anniversary. I go to tell my guy friend that I had a crush on that I'm leaving and it seemed like he just brushed me off and went back to dancing. Now that hurt me a little but I'm going to assume he was drunk and thought I was just going to the bathroom or something.
What you'll find out about me is, it's the little things that hurt me the most and the little things that make me happy.
So I'm at my friend's bar and I notice the gorgeous Brazilian DJ keeps looking at me. And I'm thinking 'oh no he's probably disgusted that some overweight ugly girl is in his presence.' (I know I shouldn't think like that because we are all beautiful). But my friend translated for me and she told me that he thought I was beautiful and he was glad to meet me and he wanted to dance with me!!!
Now I was a little shocked about that because guys don't tell me I'm beautiful and they want to dance with me very often especially beautiful guys. I told him thank you but I was too shy to dance and I think he was disappointed, as was I because I would really LOVE to dance with him, but as usual my fear of everyone watching and judging me made me withdraw into myself.
I missed a very lovely and fun opportunity to put myself out there and I hate that I always do that!! I know that when I have my surgery I won't magically have all the confidence in the world but I think I can start feeling more comfortable around other people.
One more thing happened that made me feel happy. At the end of all this, like around 730am ????, I'm saying goodbye to everyone and one of my friends says that I am her favorite person when she comes to her boyfriend's bar and she thinks I'm beautiful and she likes my smile and then everyone else was like yeah she's pretty and she has a nice smile and a cheerful presence. And now I'm crying like a baby while I'm writing this because these beautiful and sexy and lovely people don't care that I'm overweight, they like me for me and that's all I could ask for in friends. And I hope one day I can see myself the way they see me...
Sorry for this long post guys.

It's liquid. All but one meal per day has to be Water, Protein shakes, broth etc. The one good thing that I can see is that I'll spend less on groceries and I found a Protein Shake that I like. 4 weeks just seems excessive to me. My liver can't be that darn big....can it? ????

I know you were joking. But I am not a morning person either but for some reason I just keep waking up at the butt crack of dawn, so since I can't sleep I was just exercising. But today I woke up at 5 and my first thought was to exercise but then I was mad because I set my alarm for 7:30 and could have at least slept in a little lol. I did attempt to roll over and go back to sleep but my little inner voice made me get up. :-/. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I don't get to sleep in anymore. I am a new person (almost. Lol). Therefore I need to get my butt out of bed early in the morning and learn to love it. :-)

LOL you may be right on that. I'd have to kill my inner voice if it kept waking me up at 5am. My bladder already has that job. Lmao

That's ok sexy beast #2. Fire away at the questions. I'm open and honest and will answer anything you got. I'm just one step ahead of you so I'll keep you updated on everything they do to me lol

Why yes, yes he is cute lol. I have lost 42lbs .I started at 300 and was 258 today and I'm 8 weeks out and have done zero exercise, he told me not to beat myself up over it, but to start easing into it. Other than that I've really had no issues or problems with my surgery, it's been great watching the pounds disappear, so excited for you two starting your journey!

Yeah, I think everyone has to do it. He said he wants to know what's going on inside you before the surgery.
Good luck with your apt. How much weight have you lost?

Well, I just met with Dr Varnell. He's a really nice guy, and explained the surgery very well. He's easy to talk to, but he also scheduled an EGD. I get to be put under sedation and a scope ran down me. He said you have to have a person over 18 be your driver. Moving right along....

Thanks for the info momma....they have all seemed so nice so far. I'm so ready to get in there and get this thing done so I can focus on the weight loss part and becoming who I'm supposed to be.

I had my surgery sept 23..dr varnell rocked!! Bailey is wonderful and the nurses were great.. just do what they say.. the tests were a pain but unlike other hospitals they make sure that you can handle the surgery... The support groups are really good to get to know people that have gone through the same thing and to get advice from other patients... I attend the one in muskogee in fact I just went to one last night we had quite a good time and I made a lot of new friends... I wish you all luck on your journey I have lost 51 pounds in 8 weeks...

Even though I am self pay for the actual surgery, we are trying to get all the preliminary testing paid for by my insurance. They are coding my visits under my co morbidities so hopefully the insurance companies don't ask questions and just pay it lol. Dr Wood did give me a price sheet though but it is 6am and raining outside and the sheet is in my car, so I'll get it to you later today :-). At first, I felt the same way about Dr. Kirk and his talking lol but I was very hesitant about doing this in the beginning and I have already seen him 4 times. But I think he uses his talking as a "tool" to calm people like me down. I want to get to know people before I can feel comfortable asking questions so I'm OK with that. I really liked Dr. Worley. He was 15 mins late for our apt and actually apologized, that rarely happens. He also explained stuff pretty well. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with him. I'll let you know how my apt goes today.

Awesome!! Thank you so much Tawnya71!!!

I live in tulsa so I guess the owasso one is closet for me. I'll probably just go there next month. I'd like to keep going as much as I can because I have a feeling this is going to be harder than I think and having people who've been through and that are going through this will help.
I have only scheduled the session with the psychologist and will have to schedule the test another time because she didn't have time for me on the day I could see her. 500 questions? Dang that's a lot. Another small price to pay I guess. I'm seeing dr. Fritz in tulsa unless the overall cost with woods is cheaper. I have to pay for the test out of pocket. If you don't mind could you private message me how much dr. Woods cost since you are self pay as well? If not, I understand.
As for weed or drugs I'm good there. Been several months since I've smoked any weed. I do take prescribed pain meds for chronic back pains but I don't see that being an issue since I listed them on my meds sheet for dr. Kirk.
I already have a cpap machine and yuck is correct. It has helped me though. Had it for almost 3 years now. I'm hoping that goes away after the surgery.
I'm praying all goes well for you on the rest of your appointments. I'm also praying for myself!! Haha
I hope we can keep in touch since we are along the same timeline it seems. I'll friend you.
So now it's my turn to say sorry for the book. Lol

I don't smoke but I do dip and smoke cigars rarely (which is smoking right? LOL). I'm quitting all of it the day after thanksgiving though. Wanna smoke one last cigar with my dad after dinner. Kind of our thing.

I feel the same way about Kirk. He's VERY talkative and gets off topic quickly. He also told me some things that ended up not being true. Not a big deal but kind of annoying really. I don't have to see Worley because I'm seeing a doc in my insurance network. And I already have a cpap so no sleep study needed just a clearance for surgery is all I require.