jane13

the last couple of weeks I have also found myself having a drink a lot more often and ironically I decided to quit completely. like @@Proud2BMe I am close to goal but not quite there. the alcohol doesn't help with my weight or my personal issues. so it has to go.......

Yeah, but putting that in a 2oz cup and savoring the taste and not finishing the bottle can make a big difference in the "bottom line." I'm not judging. I have found that I can have a taste of something and not feel compelled to have a "normal" portion is enough. I have done this with craft beers and cake at events. I strangely don't feel deprived.
Note: If you are pissed because you don't feel the soothing effect, there might be another problem lurking. Just saying, not accusing anyone.

I am 10# over goal, and 25# over my lowest weight. I am annoyed with it, but I am lucky to have people in my life who remind me how awesome and beautiful I am even with a little muffin top. I think this battle is won or lost in our own minds and heart and the first is accepting and caring for ourselves. I spent much of my life beating myself up, and i am not doing that!
I used to work out alot, but developed serious physical problems too, I don't have a good answer, but what I know is the "winners" are the ones who don't give up. You are in that catagory... just the fact that you acknowledge it and ask for help tells me that you will not regain all your lost weight. You can do this... but it will be slow. My advice is to not think in terms of "I need to lose XX by a specific date". Instead, focus on slowly improving your health... finding exercise that works for you, making alot of small better choices.
Hang in there - we can do this!!!!

@@Oak Park Lorena - Taking a few days and just doing the pre-op diet has been helpful for some on this forum to get themselves reset. Like many things, when you know you are only going to do it for a few days we can gut it out. I would treat it like I would doing a spiritual time of fasting. I try to be mindful of why I am doing it, and hope that doing a period of denial of things that bring me pleasure to concentrate on a issue that is a concern in my life helps bring me clarity. I find it too easy to sooth a problem with comfort, some problems just need to be confronted.
Good luck, be mindful that you made a major investment in yourself a few years ago. Honor that decision. It was a good one.

Here's another one.

When I was a fatty, I always had "dirty knees" in the summer. Because I wanted to look my best (aka less like a manatee and more like a dolphin) on the beach or at the pool, I would pose my body "just so" -- chest out, tummy sucked in, knees bent at exactly the right angle...

When you tan with your knees bent, they look darker when your legs are straight because more skin is exposed. (You beachy girls totally follow me, right??)

Now when I am at the beach or the river, I don't care what people think of my much smaller body. I lay spread out, legs flat, comfy instead of all tensed up.

My knees look so much less dirty. HA!

This is my favorite answer. Fo'shizzle.

These are great! YES to going sleeveless, accepting compliments, wearing heels pain-free, feeling less conspicuous because of size, and not feeling like an obstacle in the path -- and that driver's license stat honesty! I need to renew mine too - just seeing the old picture on it makes me startle now.

When someone says "You look great" I say "thank you". Before becoming a Vet I would have given a list of at least 10 reasons why they were wrong.

I no longer move far to the wall in hallways to let people pass.

I love that! I no longer even worry about taking off my shoes, my watch, my earrings...HELL. Anything and everything I could get away with.

I can now put on a pair of heels without carrying a spare pair of flats! And I can wear them for several days in a row without wanting to die. It's so weird.

Didn't lie about my weight when I renewed my driver's license for the first time EVER.

@@katesuccess aka "happy camper" LOL
good/correct "ah ha" moment!!!
my latest milestone is not as profound as yours, just another clothing NSV
(but i'm still happy with it)
went shopping for afternoon pool party special occasion
i bought a nice/cute sundress!!
i've been at goal these past 3 years
just never thought i could/would wear a sundress - not sure why
looks great
after all, i am still "cute as a button"
kathy

So, anyone have an odd or surprising milestone they hit AFTER they became "a vet"?
Mine is this: I went to the doc yesterday (for an eye infection), and I did not feel my gut clench when the nurse led me to the scale, I weighed in and did not make a comment about 'just having eaten/drank' to account for the weight, AND then realized that for the first time in my entire adult life, I did not consciously make sure to remember to pee before I went in to weigh! Yay!!!
The number just is not so important now, and I felt the most lovely realization that I'm finally taking it for granted that my weight/number does not define me.
Call me a Happy Camper.
Now, what yours?

Has anyone gone through an identity crisis after WLS? I feel overall happier than before, but I don't know if its culmination of my age (36) and the weight loss, but I feel like I'm going through a bit of an identity or mid life crisis? I'm glad my husband is giving me a little leeway, and we are having fun "discovering" things together.. but then I feel a little depressed lately too.. my whole identity is changing.. People call me beautiful, gorgeous, a MILF.. and I'm just not used to these things.. they seem so foreign.
When I was over 250-300 pounds, people mostly ignored me.. no one looked in my eyes.. people were barely friendly.. my husband agrees that my personality hasn't changed that much.. but just the outside me.. I also discovered changes in my sexuality, that I had no idea existed. I went from 0 sex drive, to 150 MPH, raging, always wanting sex as well..
I'm rambling, but just wondered if anyone else has gone through this, and do the hormones calm down after a bit?

Really? I feel your pain. I run several and it seems to be getting a little worse every day. I have yet to figure out why. One of these days these idiots will figure out that "this is anonymous" to a point. At some point, future employers, attorneys, and the NSA can all track it back to them. Well, F them if they can't take the joke. I keep a nice file of those I don't want to ever see in my profession. I will give grace if they are under 25, but if they are older, well dang, they really should have known better.

I wish you were running a kindergarten, then Mr. Brecher could give some people a desperately deserved time out.

All these issues should be resolved once we roll out our site upgrade in a few weeks. The site is going to be responsive and a lot more user-friendly on mobile devices. Appreciate your feedback!

For the record, Babbs posts were restored. The reason this occurred in the first place was because some member who should know better didn't follow our rules and posted very inappropriate status updates. I've been running this community since 2003 without many issues but lately it feels like I'm running a kindergarten.

Threads disappearing, posts disappearing in bulk, posts reappearing but mangled...
What in the world?

Hello vets!! Looks like we have us a protected forum! Let's chat!!
OH! And thanks, @@Alex Brecher !

Boy that sounds like my mother n law! She has passed on now but the crap that would come out of her mouth toward my husband and I. The worse part she was obese herself.
She would give gifts that would not fit on purpose and then tell you to lose weight!
I have a similar situation with my husband who is also morbidly obese but extremely supportive. I am scared for him as he is getting older but I won't pressure him into doing something he is not yet ready for. He knows he has a problem and he knows there are options for him. He has been so proud of me and supportive this entire time and I just want to be there for him like he has for me.

Exactly! He has been the perfect husband through this all - so supportive, never negative, complimenting in the way that makes you feel amazing without feeling like he thought you were hideous before, so proud of me, supporting my decisions..
He deserves the same respect.

My husband is not too big but hes gotten to a size that is unhealthy but i agree hes a grown man his decision he sees what im going through and i know he doesnt want to do it and i blame myself for his eating habbits as i make the meals and i always fixed his plates now im trying to encourage him to do the gym with me and eat a little better but dont listen to anybody thats between you and him and in my case my husband was always supportive and never put me down made me feel beautiful at everysize and i want to try ans be more like that for him Sent from my SM-G935T using the BariatricPal App

Grr i know exactly how you feel... families can suck sometimes... they seem to think they can say whatever and we should just accept it.... i know its annoying and it hurts... but i have learned that its not worth taking it to heart.. I've learned to take it with a grain of salt..... but it is annoying i feel your pain

Family wedding last night. I felt amazing - have lost about 100 pounds and was having the time of my life.
Saw an aunt I haven't seen since the start of my journey. She tells me I look amazing, then asks if she can ask a personal question...
"Is your husband going to have the surgery, too? I'm afraid he'll have a heart attack"
Seriously????? Yes, he's a big man, but he's also a big boy and capable of making his own decisions. Such a downer to our night.
Would I like him to lose weight for his health? Absolutely. But he is fully aware of the surgery and what goes into it. It's ultimately his decision. I love and support him regardless.
Grrr

@Proud2BeMe,
You did a brave thing by posting this. More important, you did a smart thing by recognizing the problem. It sounds scary, but by recognizing it and wanting to get help for it, you’re doing the right thing.
Your friends’ plan of tapering off sounds great on paper. Can you do it? If you think you can, great. If not (or even if you want to try the taper), getting professional help seems like a good idea. You might pick up a few strategies you hadn’t even thought of, including alternatives to alcohol when you feel the urge to drink. Listen to and consider your friends' advice, but don't feel that you must follow it if you don't think it's right for you.
As you go through this difficult time, do remember to be proud of yourself. It’s impressive that you haven’t gained any weight despite your alcohol struggles, and so be sure to carry that success with you all the time. It can help give you the confidence you need to meet this recent challenge.