bewell

There but for the grace of life and a lot of hard work go I........

It's so easy to judge and be righteous and push some else to the bottom of the heap. The harder way is to try to understand and relate.

Maybe we can choose to remember that we all reached a point where we would do ANYTHING not to feel the pain of being obese. And my guess is that for all of us we tried many times and many ways to lose weight before we were successful. Even with success, every day I know that I can fall off the wagon and once more be humbled, pick my self up and try again.

For me food obsession and addiction is always waiting for me. My mind can always try to fool me into taking that bite of something that starts the downward spiral.

This blog is a way for us to remember that we were once there too. Let's be honest.....we could be there again!

I was told As long as it's sugar free Gatorade it is OK. I got dehydrated early on and ended up in ER so now I focus on drinking fluids. At 6 months I love a cool drink of Water but I did pre-op too!

I also have hip pain that wasn't there before. I think it's because I'm moving a lot more AND my body is totally out of balance now that my big belly is smaller. I still walk like I've got 65 pounds on me.

I started getting rolfed 6 weeks ago and it has helped realign my body to a more normal gate. I also am having physical therapy to strengthen muscles that were under used at 275 lbs.

I'm hoping this will take care of it.

Oh and today one beautiful ripe blueberry or perfectly cooked vegetable can almost be orgasmic. (can I say that here?)

I had a terrible time with the loss of my favorite pastime eating, and yes I even missed the following wallowing in self-hate. After the sleeve I even planned and binged on my first broccoli and in retrospect that is hilarious. I vomited up the green mess with vengence just like Rosemary's baby devil!!

Missing the joy of some foods and over eating does go away and for me it took about 2 months. I also had to have therapy. I was terrified of being a smaller size and not able to defend myself. Lots of crazy emotions that 1st 2 months post-op. (turned out to be sexual abuse at a young age and somehow I concluded if I was fat no one would hurt me. I expect it worked when I was 8 yrs which I continued for a lifetime.)

My therapist suggested a "funeral" of sorts to let go of the loss of eating. I wrote about it, had a one person "ceremony" about how being obese had been my protection but I didn't need it any longer. I didn't need to be afraid of being a smaller size and looked to future of a healthy, active life. It really helped me.

Today I don't miss the eating of food (except occasionally and that is totally HEAD-crap.) Feeling good and being able to move around and enjoy life is so much better than the self-imposed hell I was in pre-sleeve.

From what I understand we can't drink anything with fizzle.

And it's not worth messing around with your recent surgery. The worst thing that could happen is you drink the fizzle and stress your new tummy that is healing. A leak would put you back in the hospital with possibly horrible complications.

You've come too far to mess around with the doctors instructions. Especially during the initial 0-4 months of healing.

In time that craving for fizzle will go away and all the effort not to drink fizzle will be worth every ounce.

Listen to the Doc, they know what they are doing.

I had revision done all in one surgery-best for me. No complications. The incision where they took the port out hurt the most

Like the others--I am so glad to have that thing out of me. I had stomach pain daily with the band.

BUT eating with the sleeve was very different than the band for me. With the sleeve I struggled with knowing when to stop eating. With the band I knew immediately if I had eaten too fast or too much. The sleeve was much more subtle for me and I ended up vomiting sometimes immediately after eating too fast or too much. Or even 15 minutes later. I had to learn to stop a long time BEFORE I felt any fullness. If I do that I'm fine. The weird thing was that too much food is not very much food so that was hard for me.

Best wishes to you all!

Sorry to keep writing but I wanted to be sure you knew my 1/4 to 1/3 cup of food was not until 2 months out or more. And 1/3 cup depends on if it's just meat or cottage cheese. If it's beef I might only eat 15 SMALL bites. I also just started beef at 5 months out.

Also when others started eating solids and regular food I couldn't. I didn't start eating a few soft vegetables until 12 weeks. Salads maybe at 4 months. Everyone is different, so when you read someone is eating meat or whatever, you may or may not be ready for that food

Vomiting is the LAST thing you want to do, so I suggest to be on the safe side, take it slow and listen to your body. Be gentle with yourself, it is a huge change in life and takes time to learn and adjust.

Again, you'll do great and congratulations on a new life!

One more thing.....it turned out for me I need to eat 4-5 small meals a day. That worked best for my body and how I can get enough calories in. I just couldn't eat enough 3 times a day to get the nutrition I needed. I worked with my doc and my NUT and that's how it worked for me.

And today, just ONE hard boiled egg is perfect. That keeps me feeling full for 4 hours. It's amazing. If someone told me ONE hard boiled egg would be enough food for me, I'd have said they were crazy! But it is. So 3 eggs a day isn't enough food so that's why I need to eat more small meals. Small meaning 1/4 to 1/3 cup of food. Sometimes it's just one small yogurt. Or a few nuts and little fruit. Or 3 oz of meat. If I eat out, I eat an appetizer.

It's hard to get used to eating a small amount of food. Especially when my head wants that OLD very FULL feeling.

My experience is, I don't feel full until it's too late! I had a lot of problems with vomiting and it was because I didn't STOP before I was full. The doc said STOP before you feel full and I just kept eating looking for that familiar full feeling.

I had to let that go and now I just know how much I can eat before I am satiated. (The satiated kind of full feeling comes 30-40 minutes AFTER I stop eating.)

Having said all that, I have learned to recognize a very subtle feeling while I'm eating that I've had enough. BUT it isn't like the pre-surgery eating till I had a stuffed feeling. It is much more subtle. A sense of feeling kind of full even when my crazy head is saying eat more. I think it's what normal eaters feel knowing it's enough and in 30 minutes the body will tell them, yep that was enough food.

It took me a long time to get rid of the OLD head habits associated with eating.

The first 3 weeks I just about jumped out of my skin. I was so used to thinking about eating, eating, and then hating myself for overeating I didn't know what to do with my self and my feelings. The emotional part of the weight loss was very hard for me. I did start seeing an experienced therapist early on and it really helped get me through the first 3 months.

So my suggestion to you.......don't make my mistake and when they say you can only eat a few tablespoons, well that's it. The amount I could eat post-op and still if VERY SMALL! Just follow your docs instructions and let your body get used to it. Recognize you may have a lot of HEAD-games going on from the drastic change in eating.

Best to you!

To me, 6 months PLUS is where the rubber hits the road.

Will I lose the last 50 pounds?!!?!!

Can I keep my sleeve weight loss program going and NOT start get sloppy with food and attitude.

Because I feel really good at 63lbs lighter my crazy mind keeps saying...maybe this weight is good enough. IT's NOT. I didn't do all of this to give up at the half way goal!!! Or get sloppy and gain some back! Crazy monkey mind gets me in trouble if I'm not paying attention.

Besides being in a staff for 2 weeks all is well.

Best too all of you and keep up the good work.

@@dena1258

I'm 64 had surgery Jan 13 this year. I feel amazing and just wish I had it sooner. However I don't think I was as ready as I am now. I take this very seriously as my last chance at good health.
Haven't had sugar in 7 months (except things like condiments). I don't even want it. My big cheat days are a little bread. I have so much energy I just go like the energizer bunny.

The surgery is no picnic but well worth it. No regrets.

Just follow the docs orders to a tee. Don't mess around with food thinking you can just eat a little and you'll do fine. There may be a day when I'm at goal I will let myself eat a little something but I'm so happy with just a piece of fruit no2 I hope I can stay that way.

Best wishes.

My revision was Jan 2015. Band placed in 2006 never worked for me, just caused me pain pain. Had a slip right away and had it replaced. Lost 50 pounds but in pain all the time.

I am so happy to have that "thing" out of me. Even with no fill, it felt like I had a knot in my stomach all the time.

The sleeve is just plain easier. *FOR ME....My doc said longer term there are much fewer complications with the sleeve because of no foreign object that can slip, fail, whatever.

Best to you!

On my way to under 200lbs. I can see it from here. Yippie! I can do this.

Best to everyone!

_{A vomiting update:}

_{I was having problems with frequent vomiting. Much better now. 2 things.......I stop much sooner. (picture 1/2 boiled egg in the AM keeps me satisfied for hours. I Eat more often. And I think more healing has occurred.}

_{All is well.}

@@VSGAnn2014

Did you have a hard time getting to your goal? Did the weight loss slow down for you?

I agree, I don't want to have a weight where I fight everyday to keep it there. That's where what my Doc said made sense. Find a weight were I can eat reasonable 1200 calories or about and maintain a weight. It's different for everyone. I got down to 165 before and even at 5.3 I felt and looked good.

Still vomiting-I could use some input?@@#$!!

It seems my stomach is even more sensitive than 2 months ago.

I still vomit my meals about 3-5 times a week. So far the only consistency from one time to the next is mixing foods. I'm very careful on quantity on how much and how fast I eat. Eating the right things. BUT......when I mix Protein and something else I can have a pretty violent result. Picture projectile vomiting. (sorry for the visual)

EX- I slowly ate no more that 1.5 oz of very soft pulled pork. Wait 30-35 mins. All was well but I was still a little hungry so I ate 2 small slices of apple WITHOUT the peel and a small bite of soft cheese. I got in the car to run an errand and not 5 minutes into the ride, it all came back up. Fortunately I had a empty plastic bag in the car. After this, I'm fine and continue by errand. I wondered......is this what's it's going to be like from now on? And what if I had a friend in the car. Even my husband would have been alarmed. Ghezzzz!

Is anyone else having this problem?

Am I going to be limited to just eating one thing at a time forever?

I'm very happy with my sleeve. I'm not hungry and I'm not playing around with the wrong foods. (I'm not a saint here, just any chance of another vomiting episode keeps me from playing around too much. I had a few bites of ice-cream on a long flight overseas and that all came back up pronto! So imagine trying to race to a airplane bathroom....not an ideal situation. Luckily that have those airsick bags, which I carry in my purse. I Also had one cup of hot chocolate and had a HUGE dumping incident. I hadn't had that much sugar since Dec.)

Any thoughts? I could use some help and wondering if I'm alone in this vomiting challenge.

I do see my Doc this week and will check with them.

E@@Eli Alexander

With all you've got going on, you are a huge success!

For me, I feel I do have an age factor at work in my WLS.

Now, in my 60's, this is a last change to live a full healthy life.

In my younger years I was too willing to test the limits of eating the wrong foods for some kind of temporary "high" or satisfaction.

Today I know I don't have many more changes to get this right. It supports me NOT to take that first bite and playing around on the slippery slope of eating the wrong foods and the inevitable downward spiral of addiction to the wrong foods and self hate.

Some people can just eat one bite. I might be able to have one bite, and maybe a second. But at some point it has always got me into trouble.

I WILL NOT DIE OBESE! I'm halfway there. 59 down, 60 to go.

@@VSGAnn2014

How did you determine your goal weight? And did you try to go below goal or did it just happen?

My surgeon has said to let my body tell me what is the best weight to maintain with the assumption it i near a healthy weight considering my age.

Just wondering how you did it. Thanks

Blood Sugar numbers

Got my blood work done.

Cholesterol numbers down 80 points BUT my pre-diabetic number has stayed the same-117. My Doc isn't concerned but I thought it would go down.

Wondering what others experiences with blood sugar has been?

Great topic!

I also had sheer terror and total anxiety my first 4 weeks after surgery. The changes for me were rapid but mostly I feared that I wouldn't be able to defend myself, or I'd be so tiny no one would see me. (of course I was still a big girl 250ish so it seemed totally crazy).

I got help from a therapist. Working on the feelings that were coming up because I literally could NOT eat over them. I had used food to push down those feelings for 50 years and not I physically could NOT eat when they came up.

It was an exciting time and also a scary time.

I can say it got a lot better for me after the 1st 2 months. I no longer have the terror and I work through the feelings of being smaller and sexual stuff as they come up.

For me, obesity allowed me to predict how people would perceive me. Fat, lazy, whatever. But never pretty, or sexual, or whatever. I hid behind the fat.

Today I feel good moving around in a smaller body. I'm feeling "girly" wearing earrings and caring how I look.

I do expect another round of feelings as i approach a "normal" size. I'm still a pretty big gal.

Best wishes to you. And congrats on noticing the feelings, that's how we get better. Recognizing what got us obese in the first place. And as many more experienced sleevers say here....we had surgery on our stomach not our head!

@@Inner Surfer Girl

I'm 4 months out and still can't eat many vegetables certainly not at the same time as meat. I still vomit 4-5 times a week. (I sure don't recall hearing about this much vomiting pre-op). The Protein drinks save me. Otherwise I'd never get enough Protein.

Surfer girl, just want to say that early on I read about others eating all kinds of foods successfully. I'd try them and up they'd come. So I'm pretty careful still. The fabulous news....I'm rarely hungry and when I am, it's REAL hunger that is satisfied with a small amount of food. I love that my old favorites are not calling to me all day. It's a near miracle.

I hear the hunger and cravings can come back so my mentor in all this said to enjoy the ride while it lasts. There are some that gain their weigh back back or never get to their goal. So in a way I'm very grateful I still struggle finding healthy foods for my tiny tummy. The weight keeps coming off.

Love my life!

My new mantra.

Recently a recovering alcoholic said to me:

"I may always be an alcoholic but I will NOT die a drunk."

It really moved me and inspired me.

Now I say to myself many times a day:

"I may always have a lifelong decease of obesity BUT I WILL NOT die obese!"

For my age (64) and new weight charts according to age, I have about 60 pounds to go until I am at at normal weight.

God willing......giving me time to be a successful WLS patient---- I WILL NOT DIE OBESE!

One day at a time!

I am so grateful I have this opportunity to be at healthy weight enjoying each moment I have left on this beautiful planet.

Best wishes to all of you!

Four months out and I still miss the planning, thinking, eating, warm fuzzy I TEMPORARILY got from my food addiction. It wasn't just putting it in my mouth. It was a love/hate affair. A deadly affair.

It does get better. Now I spend more time feeling how my body moves better, faster, takes up less room. Easier to go up steps, get up from a chair. walk into a room and NOT feel like I take up the ENTIRE room. The best lately is in public close quarters.....I used to feel like I just didn't fit. That I couldn't walk between two tables in a restaurant (and I couldn't}, now I can move around so much better. It feels wonderful.

I can almost feel my hip bones. When I felt them at first I wondered "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT"! Some cancer or something. No..... just my hip bones. It's been a long time since I felt them.

Bottom-line....I feel my body more and now I think about that instead of what I'm going to eat and hate myself for eating it.

Hang in there! It is a loss.....suggest you feel the loss, recognize the changes, have a farewell party for how you used to eat, but find other things to occupy your thoughts and time. It's worth it.