Jachut

Someone mentioned to me on another board that like me they're a lowish BMI patient and they had several comments in the hospital along the lines of "why would you need to be doing this?"

It just shows the depth of misunderstanding. Ok, so by sheer luck, in my body I'm just a fat person. In my head I'm morbidly, severely, eternally obese! Its not about your body, its about your head!

What I hope this will do for me, if indeed my low (well relatively) BMI doesnt prevent it being done at all - is that by preventing me physically from relying on comfort food to any great extent in the times when I eat inappropriately (boredom, stress etc), I will eventually lose the focus on food other than at times of real hunger.

Its an operation to fix my head, not my body. My body is the symptom, not the cause.

I guess when I'm a bikini model they can airbrush it out anyway.

It's because I'm so much taller than you - my ideal weight will be lots higher than yours too - at 159 cms yours will be down in the 50 kg's I'd imagine, mine is about 75kgs.

Same amount of weight spread out over a much longer body. 110kgs is about 30-40 kgs overweight for me, 50 + kgs overweight for you, kwim?

I'd also have more weight in bone, muscle mass etc.

But BMI is not that accurate either by the way - it doesnt really take into account how muscular (or not) you may be. If you have lots of muscle you will weigh more than someone with less, but not be fatter.

Yeah well DH's GP told him it was easy to lose weight - he said if you work at a desk all day there's no need for lunch! I dont know anything about the medical profession over there but the standard of GP care over here can sometimes be pretty appalling. Bulk billing has killed the trusted family doctor that's for sure.

But I've read the same thing, I dont think it tends to be true here, our private health insurance covers everything bar cosmetic procedures, but I said to myself if that's what they wanted I would see a dietician and make every effort and try to get the most out of it that I could - and that in a year's time I could well be at goal weight.

Not likely probably but possible.

I'm 107kg now at 5ft 10 so I've slipped down to 34. Doug has a set of dumbells, I could hide the 3kg weights in my jeans pockets, what do you reckon? (just joking, lol).

I'm losing it fine but its the same old story, get a bit off, get away from panic weight, start to feel better and the motivation just goes out the window. There is no way I've got the strength for the long haul all the way down to 70kg or so without help. That said though, I'd be thrilled to get back to 80, something that once seemed massively fat to me.

Big day for me will be when i pass under 90kg though - I will cease to be obese. Boy how I hate that word. I will just be overweight then.

Yes its only since I've really stopped to think about this as a disease that I've given the band consideration. Even comments I've made on here a few short weeks ago show that I hadnt got my head round that.

The linking of your morals and your weight is absurd, yet its precisely why we all feel shame about our bodies. Because its not an invisible disease is it?

OK, so when I'm at goal weight - at the very bottom of my healthy range and with wash board abs (OK, no reality checks here, a girl can dream cant she?) will the port "show" ? Its about half an inch thick right? When there's no fat there and perfectly toned skin, is their going to be a visible lump?

Lets ignore the fact that I've had 3 babies just for the moment and the likelihood of ever having a tummy like that is non existent.

The counting calories issue concerns me too. I do not want to live my life obsessed with the little buggers.

What I want to be able to do is eat when I'm hungry, eat what I want (and sometimes that will be bad, lol) and only eat to the point of being satisfied. I feel if I do that, then calorie wise it should naturally fall into place.

Thin people as a general rule do not go about counting calories. To count calories (or WW points) to me means you start going - I really want that Mars Bar but its 5 points so if I eat no Breakfast and just have an apple for lunch then I can have it AND have a wine at dinner time. That's self defeating if you ask me.

Yet you do need to know what you're putting in your mouth so I'd say at least during the actual weight loss phase, you need to be counting, and certainly when you hit a plateau.

It is - what I said there a few weeks back I still believe, only I've come back round to thinking a band will help me achieve all of that, not be an easy way out. I think its the reality check of fine, I may lose weight and I may lose a lot but will I keep it off. I honestly dont know anybody who has lots a lot of weight and kept it off!

I do feel like if I dont go ahead, I've learned a lot about losing weight that I hadnt realised before. But I've also learned that particular surgeon has his own opinion which aint necessarily shared by other surgeons. So I'm going to see someone else.

But I have lost 5kg!!!! Yay :-)

It is amazing, I figured I may as well start the chew chew chew, eat slowly thing right now even though I may not ever get a band. To say that it markedly reduces what you can eat is the understatement of the century. I cant eat half what I used to in one sitting.

Now, of course, I just get hungry sooner, so I'm not actually eating that much less, lol.

But I had a latte and a piece of caramel slice while out this morning, I couldnt finish the slice. It was so rich, and when you eat it slowly like I did, the richness gets to you before you've finished. I left half of it there with no compunction! It would have made me feel sick to eat anymore.

I'm really struggling with not trying to think "I want to lose 20kg by Christmas". The wait between seeing a surgeon and getting the band, and then to the first fill, will drive me nuts. I wont be able to resist dieting. I know I'll do it on pure willpower in that time.

I'm sure if I go ahead and then get to look back I'll be able to see that's silly.

I sure wish I could go back though and see that 75kg on a 5ft 10 frame is not fat - and not go comfort eating because of my depression over my "huge" size.

He is supportive but I just dont think he "gets" it, kwim? I'm not goign to have to fight him for it, he just wants me to be happy.

But he does think that people should be able to lose the weight themselves. Despite being a bit of a fatty himself and not having been able to do anything about it for the last 20 years! Despite not being able to control himself after a long day at work barely eating, he eats 3 servings of whatever's for dinner (and then bitches because I've blown the grocery budget, he just ate what was meant to feed us for 2 nights).

My mum said something similar. She said "well, I"lll support you in what you choose, you have to do what's right for you" but she also said "what about weight watchers (for like the 30th time), I'll come with you". She cant see the fact that she's lost and regained the same 15kg for the last 30 years as significant. She believes WW will work if you stick to it.

My sis just lost 12kg with WW and looks gorgeous. But she's regaining it already.

Dieting. Does. Not. Work.

Changing your eating habits in achievable ways does. But what's the moral crime in needing help to do that? Smokers get nicotine Patches dont they?

Nursing on 1000 calories a day!!!!!! You are putting yourself at great risk doing that, your baby is getting everything he/she needs but you're leaching your bones of their Calcium and severely depriving yourself of energy.

Seriously you need to eat more. You could be anaemic or just plain exhausted and depleted. Its hard enough to run just your own body on that small an intake.

Since you're banded and therefore limited in what you can physically fit in, you really probably should see a nutritionist - even if it means getting in some calcium and energy in liquid form - like fruit smoothies, yogurt and pureed fruit etc.

My DH is right behind me if I feel this is what I need to do but when he was complaining about his back last night (he's about 25kg overweight too) I said to him "would you consider this too?". He said "no, I wouldnt risk a general anaesthetic with you and the kids to consider for something I should be able to handle on my own".

I said no more about it but I was thinking on it more later on. He had a long surgery for compartment syndrome in both his legs about 2 years ago, our little girl was only 7 months old at the time and we've got two older boys.

Why can people not view obesity as a debilitating condition that needs to be fixed, just as his compartment syndrome was, just as the heel spurs and wisdom teeth I've had removed under general anaesthetic were.

Why can he watch one of those plastic surgery shows and tell me if I get all this weight off I can get my boobs done? Like why is it OK to mutilate your body to stick a few bits of silicone in your chest, but not OK to get banded to ensure you live 15 years longer in comfort and health. That your sore, wounded self esteem is fixed?

Its nuts.

Seeing Mr Crosthwaite at Cotham Private - is he nice?

I've thought more and more on this, and think I will do it. Like I wanted to, I have lost some weight, a couple of kilograms over the last few weeks. This research process has taught me a few valuable lessons. But looking at how far I have to go, I know I cant do it alone. I know statistics are WAY against me losing 30kg and keeping it off.

So I'm seeing somebody next week, and I'm going to an information session Wednesday night.

I think I really needed a bit of extra time to get my head around just what this will mean long term, but I'm a bit more comfortable with that now. Boy you just dont realise how many emotions and psychoses are tied up with your weight until you really analyse it do you?

I may still have some head work to do before I'm ready for a band. I understand totally that you still have to work on your eating habits and develop new, good ones. You cant be healthy if you live on rubbish.

But I would call eating a cheeseburger and small fries for dinner a big victory, personally. I mean, I can wolf down a quarterpounder, large fries AND a sundae with ease at the moment. And I tell myself its allright because I dont drink soft drink. I mean, sheesh, woudlnt want any empty calories now would I?

Surely its still what you do 90% of the time that matters. And eating like a thin person is the goal right? Watch a thin person one day. They still eat McDonalds, they just dont gorge on it. Which is exactly what you did!

And everyday is a new day, its never too late to get back on track. Plateaus are disheartening banded or not, its a good time to up your exercise.

Am I the only person in the world who cant stand ice cream?

I've thought and thought about a band and decided no and then decided yes, and at the moment I'm thinking about it seriously again. I've lost some weight on my own but its getting harder and harder like it always does.

I like the Weight Watchers program, not sure if the Australian version differs significantly, but I like counting points rather than calories and of course I can do it in my sleep.

Two things I'm determined to stick by are: if I decide to go through with this, no last supper mentality, I will stick with my weight watchers program. I'm a low BMI patient and one surgeon told me if I lost significant weight between now and surgery he wouldnt do me but another surgeon has told me that's garbage, so I know who's opinion I'd take on that one. I want weight off by Christmas even if I dont have the surgery till November!

And secondly during that healing phase if I have the surgery, before the first fill, I will continue to count points not push it to see how much I can eat. I know that time is for healing but I absolutely cannot see why you have to eat to capacity in that time, its a brief time in the process where the focus is on getting better, but I'm still going to count points. I find it relatively easy early on to be disciplined in my eating and losing weight, its keeping going after five or six weeks that I find hard.

So short answer - weight watchers. Sensible and easy.

I've read some good accounts - its been done in Australia since the early 90's.

Its a sticking point for me too - I simply cant imagine myself as a 70 or 80 year old with a band. I'm nervous about putting something in my body that's going to be there for that long. And I dont like the thought of the band outlasting my organs, lol

Yeah I actually think half the pleasure in some of those naughty foods is cramming them in fast. I find if I tell myself to slow down, I often cant even be bothered eating them. chips are meant to be eaten by the handful, lol.

No particular foods really - although I love plain, sweet biscuits (cookies), I can eat those dunked in my coffee by the packet full. I love anything sweet and cakey, although its not a regular part of my diet.

My problem is more, I'll be eating really well, then I'll have something I shouldnt, like a muffin and a cappucino. I think "oh, well, blown it today" and really go all out on whatever happens to be available. Or I go out for dinner and think "might as well really enjoy this and start again tomorrow". Of course, our lifestyle is such that this happens several times a week, whether it be dinner out or mum's lamb roast or a takeaway one night. We had pizza Thursday night because I'd done no grocery shopping, we went to a function Friday night so ate and drank a lot, takeaway Indian last night as I'd studied all day and today we're going to have fish and chips on the beach down at Sorrento in melbourne with some friends.

It just all adds up. And Ewan has his friend Sam staying and no doubt they'll want pancakes for Breakfast so my thought process will be "may as well since today will be a write off anyway".

I can see that its normal not to lose with an unfilled band.

What I really dont get is the calorie levels people are on.

Now, if I care to use my willpower and stick at it (which sometimes I do), I can easily lose 3lb a week for quite a while on 1500 calories a day. I guess I'm pretty active though.

Is it truly necessary to go so low as 1000? Long term doesnt that just shut down your metabolism and put you at risk of undernourishment?

Well I have had 3 babies, I guess you dont get embarrassed by much after that.

But honestly I'm not ashamed of my body. I dont think its all that bad but I think I'm kidding myself. I think I'm OK looking and I'm generally a happy and confident person.

But we've got a black tie dinner tonight and I hate those with a passion. I have to go dressed like someone's grandma - its not my body so much as that I cannot dress in a way that I think represents the real me, kwim?

Does anyone lose significant weight with NO fills?