The Candidate

That is a very sobering forewarning and we all appreciate your sharing. I hope all goes well with your eye treatment. My personal situation isn't a matter of me having postponed surgery. Instead it's more along the lines of surgery having postponed me. I'm about five months into the process of completing my insurance's qualification hoops, with about another five months to go. Made the decision in August and started the ball rolling from there. If I'm lucky im hoping to have surgery sometime mid or late summer. If offered, I'd do it tomorrow in a heartbeat, but the insurance controls the rate and speed of travel in this little journey of mine. Your post makes me wonder how many days of healthy living I will have lost if only I'd started the process sooner. You see so many post ops lament that their only regret is not having done it sooner. I've no doubt it will be mine as well.

Fantastic! You look great!

Well I'm going to have to find another part of my anatomy to focus my internal wrath on for 24/7, once the fat is no longer in the equation. I'm thinking those grand Tetons of mine have been evading detection pretty well so far, but after I lose the weight they're going to be a pretty big blip on the unsatisfied radar. And I'm fairly confident they're already twitchy about the research I've started on breast reduction. And darn it, I'm going to have to find another super power once I lose that cloak of invisibility that my fat shield inspires in most people who can't seem to see me in order to hold the elevator, or make direct eye contact. Such is the burden we bear.

Hi, congratulations on making the decision to have WLS. I'm Kaiser Southern CA and the first thing you should know is that the insurance requirements vary greatly, not only from company to company, but area to area with the same insurance. Kaiser is a very good example. So what I'm describing here could be very different for you. I started my journey back in August 2014, which was when I first talked to my PCP about the possibility. He was very supportive and told me that all I needed to do to start the ball rolling was to call the Wellness Center in San Diego. When I placed the call I was told that I would be sent an info packet and after reading, if I decided to proceed, to call back to schedule a date to attend two mandatory seminars. One for weight management and one an intro to the Options program. I attended both seminars on 09/11. There they gave us a 10 page questionnaire to fill out that had to do with medical history, past weight loss attempts (you only have to describe them not provide actual proof), etc. After about a week I received an email telling me to get a few pre program labs, blood draw, EKG, stool sample, fasting glucose, and I think that was it. The faster you comply with their requirements, the faster you move along. A week or so after this I was contacted again to make an appointment for a one on one meeting with the head of the Bariatric Options program. Mine was for 10/06, and it only lasted about 20 minutes. The weight for this appointment is considered your Options starting weight. There I was told that I had been approved to enter the program and I would be contacted with the information on when my Options classes would begin. For my area Kaiser requires 24 weeks of classes (or 6 months), one class a week. But most other areas of Kaiser in CA only require 12 weeks (or 3 months of classes). I was also told that I will be required to lose 10 percent of my weight, which in my case was 24 pounds. My classes started in November and meets each Thursday night. This week will be class #11 and I've been surprised by how fast the time goes by (mine end in mid May). For the most part they're interesting and last 90 minutes. Last week we had a speaker, which was a former student who had the sleeve about 1 1/2 years ago. You can only miss four classes, and have to make up each one you miss. If you miss five you're out, and this has actually happened to a couple of people in mine. You're weighed each time and will be required to keep food and exercise logs. In my area Kaiser contracts out to Pacific Bariatric in San Diego, and the surgery is done at Scripps Mercy, also in SD. We are required to attend one of their seminars. I go next month. From the workbook material I've read that after graduation, if you've lost the 10 percent you then wait to be contacted to take a stress test. If you pass, then your file is forwarded to Pacific Bariatric. You will be asked to get a series of pre surgical labs/tests, not sure which. Then PB will contact you to schedule an all in one appointment for psych eval, surgical consult, and I think a medical internist. And at some point in all this you will get your surgery date. They do the sleeve or bypass. They no longer offer the band. If you don't lose the 10 percent there's an extra step before the stress test where you have to go back and have a consult with the head of the program. We were told in the intro seminar that the process averages about 9 months and it's been on line for that. Good luck with your journey!

14 pounds - that's nothing! I gained 14 pounds in sympathy just from reading your tragic tale. One thing that's absolutely clear is that you're a survivor of incredible fortitude. If you can get through everything you've suffered than those extra pounds are probably already quaking in their boots for ever having the audacity to adhere themselves to your body in the first place. So get in there and remind them once again who's the boss here. I think you're my hero. No pressure. I'm just saying.

Congratulations on making the first step towards a happier healthier life! I started my process in August 2014 and am currently mid process. Hoping to have surgery sometime this summer 2015. Every insurance or self pay process is different, but it has taught me to have patience and keep the faith. Good luck on your journey.

I think we live in a completely different world than others who have always had and maintained a healthy weight. In my immediate family, I'm the only one, and although I'm grateful that they have never made me feel inferior and fully support my decision, I know there will always be an invisible barrier between us. And that's because while they can "see" my weight, they can never actually experience the same physical adverse health effects, nor suffer the social stigma that I do. They can empathize but they never really "know" how truly awful it is day, after day, year after year. That being said, if you have an individual who doesn't personally know what it's like AND also doesn't support surgical intervention, the underlying reason could be that they are grouping WLS in with other quote unquote "vanity" plastic surgery procedures, such as Botox or face lifts, and the like. And the medical community doesn't really curtail this type of thinking either, as they themselves are constantly arguing back and forth between labeling it as a necessity or a choice. I have faith that someday WLS will get the accolades it deserves in overcoming diabetes, high blood pressure, and other weight related diseases but that's still years or even decades in the making. Plus, I'm sure the whole self help literature and weight loss money makers such as Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and such will also play a role in prolonging this epiphany as long as possible. That's a whole lot of money that they will no longer be able to con out of the desperate overweight masses once the truth about the long term benefits of WLS comes into favorable light.

I love Whitney's positivity. I think it's possible to attain a degree of happiness and still be fat, especially when you're young. I didn't start having mobility or health issues myself until I turned 50. It's easy to kid yourself sometimes. Even so, I don't actually think it's so much that she's entirely happy the way she is now, but at this point in her life she's just trying to make the best of a bad situation. She hasn't reached that pivotal point yet where she's at her breaking point and is finally ready to do something about her weight. Plus she hasn't been fat all her life, so in some ways it's all relatively new for her. I thought it was hilarious when she split her pants in the store and the way she shimmied out with her mother covering her rear. And I absolutely adore her parents. I think they're the right combination of supportive and concerned. I also think the show does a good job of balancing out her enthusiasm with a sobering dose of reality, such as her shared reactions to name calling (being shouted out as Shamu by a passing car) and venomous hate mail. I think the underlying message here, although it might not be translating too well, is that she knows she's fat, as we all do, and is aware of how socially and medically unacceptable that is viewed, but she has chosen not to let it break her. She's living her life out loud and I think it's great. I wish I had the courage she has to have said "yes" more often, and not cared so much what others thought of me. I lost too many years doing that. Years I can never get back.

Sleevester Stalone.

I had one back in 2011. They did the twilight sleep and either they didn't give me enough or it just didn't work because I was painfully aware of every moment. It was, for me, the worst procedure I've ever had done, and that includes a colonoscopy. But, and it's a big butt, based on testimonies I've read from many people here I understand it's now being routinely done with full sedation. So I don't think you have anything to worry about. If I were you though I'd asked about what form of sedation they use beforehand, and if they don't offer full sedation I would insist on it. Again, this was just my own personal experience. I know there are many who have said it's a walk in the park. Good luck!

Congrats on freeing yourself from such a horrible abusive relationship. My sister was in a marriage similar to your own and after putting up with his horrible behavior for 20 years, he announced one day that he was leaving her for another woman. I told my sister that it was probably the best thing to have ever happened to her. It took her a few years to come to the same realization as she had very low self esteem. But once she started to come out of her shell she never looked back again. Today she happily remarried, independent, and and strong. You deserve that same kind of transformation and I hope you get it. Just remember that you were never the problem. It's him.

Finish my classes in May. Hoping to have surgery no later than July. It'll depend on how accommodating their surgery schedule will be, but I will definitely ask to be put on a cancellation stand by. By that time I plan to be ready to go at a moment's notice.

I'm pretty confident that we are all adults here and you have the power "not" to enter into conversations that you deem "unworthy." It's pretty extreme to want to censor the entire site from something that you find personally offensive. Hell, we talk about bowel movements, incontinence, plastic surgery, periods, throwing up, diarrhea, just to name a few, so why not anal sex too?

Welcome! This is a wonderful site. You will learn a lot. I started my journey in August 2014, currently completing the 6 months of classes required by my insurance. I too am expecting (hoping) to have my surgery sometime this summer. You are in good company here and your journey of one many, so you will be sure to make close and lasting connections. Best of luck to you!

I'm Kaiser Southern Cal San Diego. I'm currently going through their required Options program, which in my area is six months (24 weeks) of classes. Other areas of California only require three months, so there is a lot of variance depending on where you are. In the beginning it seems like a long time, but it really does go fast. I started my process in late August. My actual classes didn't start until Nov and go through mid May. And after graduation there are still steps I have to complete before I get to surgery. But one thing I've found is that the majority of people who go through the program are glad they did in the end. Kaiser really tries to prepare you both physically and mentally for what will amount to a whole new way of life. Yes, I've done my research to the nth degree and you probably have too, but there's always more to learn to truly make an informed decision. I just finished #8 of my 24 classes and it's true, the time does fly by. Overall, It's a worthwhile program in my opinion. Good luck on your journey!

I have nothing against Penny personally. In fact I wish her the best. She is exactly like us, in the sense that her weight has taken adverse control over her life. She reached the point where she had to decide whether to go on as she has been and face a pretty certain death, or take a chance on Bariatric surgery in partnership with committing to change her lifestyle. It's a pivotal moment that every single one of us has had to face ourselves. My problem with Penny is that she's treating this once in a lifetime chance like a game. And even worse, she perpetuates the stereotypical image of fat people as lazy, slovenly, blobs of goo that sit around all day eating Bon Bons and watching TV, while more than likely on full disability. She has turned her husband into a full time caretaker and is only able to interact with her son as far as her span of reach from a bed that she chooses to never leave. And it is a choice in her case. Yes, her husband is an enabler, but Penny is the problem. She's a born narcissistic manipulator and should had never ever been operated on in the first place. It's because of her and others like her that those of us who are ready to make the commitment are made to wait months, and sometimes years for our own chance at a new life.

Good luck on your recovery! I have dreamed since puberty of getting a breast reduction. I have two sisters, plus my mother, who all have normal to small sized breasts. Unlike me, I'm also the only one who is overweight. I keep waiting for the big reveal that I'm actually adopted to explain it, but no, just luck of the draw I guess. No one who hasn't had to cart these puppies around for most of your life can ever understand the burden you bear. After I get my WLS, breast reduction will be first on the list for plastic surgery. I just want to know, finally what it feels like to have normal sized breasts. Between the grand Tetons and my weight, it has seriously messed up my self esteem. Ironically my most successful weight loss attempt in the past was fueled by the desire that my insurance would pay for a breast reduction afterwards as I had chronic back pain and horrendous reoccurring rashes. Once I got down to 129 pounds all on my own, I immediately asked for a referral. And then, I was promptly turned down. I was devastated and it wasn't long after that before I had regained all the weight back plus more. This was about 15 years ago and it's been the yo-yo cycle ever since. On another note, concerning the hospital meals, my mother was recently in the hospital for a week or so and they actually had a menu that you could call and request your own meals. There wasn't a huge range of choices but you could definitely work with it. First time I've ever seen anything like that. Good luck!

You look amazing and happiness is reflected in your radiant smile.

It doesn't matter what the scale says, be it 250 pounds or 650 pounds, weight wise everyone on this site is exactly the same. Fat enough to require surgery, and that's the bottom line.

I totally agree @@Inner Surfer Girl. My 600 pound life is much superior to The Biggest Loser. For one TBL sets the dominoes all in line for an epic failure. No doubt the majority of us in theory could be bullied into losing a massive amount of weight with their standard boot camp tactics. But what happens when they're faced with real life again? While some of their contestants probably did go on to keep the weight off long term, I'd bet it's more of an exception than the rule. My 600 is inspirational to me as well. If someone can turn their life around and lose that amount of weight I know I can do the same thing. It isn't about sensationalism or tabloid reporting. It's about real people facing real problems that could ultimately result in death. While not all of them reached 100 percent success, some did, and that's the real message - that it's never too late to change your life, no matter what type of physical or emotional prison you're locked into. Penny's message was you have to want it, really want it, to the point where you're willing to do anything to make a difference. She didn't want it. Now her prison is that bed and she's the only one with the power to make a key. Sadly, I think that bed will ultimately be her tomb.

The entire first season is also available on Hulu Plus.

There's a method? Why wasn't I told?

Maybe at some point you could push him into it, but then you run the risk of his failure in the long run. And failure often breeds contempt. Until he's reached the point of one hundred percent commitment whatever method you try, be it surgical or non surgical, the odds are against lasting success. The trip you mentioned that should have been his wake up call obviously wasn't. He's the only one that can recognize his own call when it comes. It's hard to watch those you love slowly kill themselves. I'm sure it's been hard for my family as well. Thank goodness I finally received my own call and most importantly, decided to answer it. But no amount of tough love, soft nudging, or barrage of medical facts was going to make me do something about it until *I* was ready. Some of the most rewarding journeys in life can only be traveled alone. The best thing you can do is keep offering your support and when he's finally ready to commit, let him know that you're there for him every step of the way. That's when your support will become crucial.

Honestly, and this may sound harsh, but it made me very angry. Here I'm doing everything in my power to get approved and she just threw her chance away. It also made it clearer to me why we are all made to jump through so many hoops to get authorization for surgery. Had she been made to jump through those same hoops she would have never qualified in the first place. Her excuses of never being told she had to lose weight while in the hospital, the scales being off, and the myriad rest, were simply examples that she never had any intention of making life style changes. From day one she refused to even stand up! The doctor did everything in his power to help her from keeping her in the hospital for months after the surgery, and sending a physical therapist and a nutritionist to her home after she repeatedly missed appointments. She was arrogant, narcissistic, unpleasant, and clearly put her own wants before those of her son. True, her husband was a bit of an enabler, but in the end she owned every bit of that failure. She should had never of been operated on in the first place. It just really brought it home to me how much you have to not only want this, but be willing to fight for it. To be willing to change your entire lifestyle forever. I will use her example of everything I will NOT do once I have my own surgery. Now if you want true inspiration you should check out Olivia's episode.

For people like me who sometimes feel trapped within the long approval process, hearing stories like yours are paramount in keeping the fire alive. Just being reminded now and then that there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel is priceless! Congratulations on your new and healthy life!