nina874

I kind of know where you are coming from here, I went through a 'dark time' in my life when everything else was out of control, so the only thing that I felt that I could control was my weight. I would go 3 or 4 days without eating anything as I thought of food as 'the enemy' - talk about a love/hate relationship. I think it is important for you to address these issues seperate from the band, I liked the feeling of control that it gave me to starve myself, when I did eat something I would beat myself up about it. In the end I had to resolve what was wrong in the rest of my life to understand how it was influencing my eating. I would be aware of those feelings and make the choice to eat something healthy, even if it is just a smoothie and some homemade veggie Soup and be happy that you made a healthy food choice, rather than fighting against eating at all. When I feel those demons rising again I remind myself that I have to be healthy if I want to stay in control, otherwise I will be on the yo-yo again! Good luck hon. Nina x

I am booked for a full tummy tuck, lipo and breast lift/augmentation in Feb 08, I booked with a man who is widely considered to be one of the world top major weightloss reconstructive surgeons , his name is Jean Fracois Pascal and he has pioneered many different body lift procedure techniques. He lectures all over the US and shares his techniques with other surgeons. Here is a link to his web Docteur PASCAL - LYON - FRANCE At the same time that I booked a good friend of mine who isnt banded and has a BMI of around 33 booked in also.While he told me to get within a stone of goal ( BMI 23) he was quite happy to carry out the procedure on her as her weight has been stable for a while now and she has a huge apron of skin left from her 3 kids. I dont think it is what size you are that is the key with these surgeons, it is whether your weight is stable. As someone who has a band you are much more likely to go on to lose more weight which can have a negative effect on your results. For what it is worth he said that another stone weight loss would not have a negative effect, as long as I exercised as well he said it would just improve the results. Hope this helps.

Maybe that wasn't the right title for this thread but keep with me. I would desperately love to have a normal relationship with food. I worry that I am just swopping one version of a dysfunctional relationship for another.:confused: Now all I think about is how many calories/grams of fat/ Protein whatever that I have eaten today against how many calories out. Is this just the after the divorce backlash so to speak, will I ever be able to not think about food? Are we all still obsessives, is it just that we swop obsessions?? or even more worryingly is it just me.......:faint: Nina x

Well said!!! Can't really add anything to that :clap2::clap2::clap2:

I dont know if this is a subject that has been done to death, or is even PC for that matter, but as a UK girl I was just wondering what your take on the ongoing war is? I get torn, because I feel that we have no business being there, but still have a great deal of sympathy and concern for my friends whose DH's are serving out there. Nina x

I dont know the answer to your question Tom, and it sounds like Wasa pretty much covered it. I just wanted to say try to stay strong, I know it seems like a nightmare now but once you have got the band you will realise that it was all worth it. There is loads of support on the board and quite a few people are struggling through the pre-op diets at the moment, I am sure that you will find someone to buddy with. Nina x

Elena - I am sorry, I never meant to be hostile. I respect your veiws I really do I guess I just get carried away, the whole thing frightens me, I think that we are rushing headlong into something that is starting to turn into a religious war, and you only have to look back in history to see how they pan out. Again I apologise. Nina x

Donna I have nothing but support for all our troops over there, God above I have a friend that is going back there next week and wont be with his kids AGAIN this Christmas, and I just want him back safe and well. I am just afraid about the motives behind the invasion, do we really want to declare war on the entire Muslim world?

I am sure that you dont Elena, as you arent an Iraqi or an Islamic Fundamentalist. So what you are saying is that if you agree with the cause then it is ok to call them freedom fighters and if you dont then they are terrorists. Please dont misunderstand me, this is a complex issue to say the least. But I cannot for the life of me see how having the blessing of your government makes it ok to kill innocent people. Lets not forget here that the Iraqi army didnt invade America or Britain, we invaded them, and in doing so we have destabalised their whole country.

That isnt what I said though is it. If it isnt ok to make jokes about black men when you are white, then it isnt ok to make them about Muslims, especially in the current political climate.

So as long as we are all clear that Islamic Fundamentalists believe that through their funding of oppressive regimes in the Middle East, the United States Government is trying to oppress their people we can all be happy with calling them freedom fighters???

.He didn't call them Sand"insert N word". Now that would have been screwed up and I would have agreed. So as long as he doesn't use the N word its ok in principle to be racist. You tell me the last time that you saw a white man telling Jokes about ghetto blacks in a room full of black people??? Do you want to rewrite that joke and put in every black sterotype you can think of? Muslim is not a race its a Religion - So is Judaeism.... does that mean that the holocaust wasnt a race issue? I'll bet there were a load of Jewish jokes going around Germany in 1933.

****the result maybe similar as far as the losses, but the intentions are totally different and I know people in Iraq appreciate that******** Really, please tell me how you know that? Are you aware that the Kurdish people that America are fighting to protect are wanted in Turkey for several acts of terrorism? And again define the difference between Freedom Fighter and Terrorist.

*****With all due respect, I think there is a HUGE difference between guns fired by terrorists that are ultimately doing it with no valid reasons behind it , well, maybe I should say that their reasoning is evil****** Define freedom fighter

Do you think that continually interfering is making it better? Please explain to me the difference to the people of Iraq between guns that are fired by terorrists and guns that are fired by British and American troops? Do you think that they give a sh!t, would you if it were your country it was happeing in?

Derrick, Chris I will point you to the thread above about the use of the N word. If you need any further pointers on what constitutes racism please feel free to ask.

Well said Jachut, you took the words right out of my mouth.

*************The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years************** Zimbabwe was called Rhodesia once does that mean that it ceased to exist once the name was changed? What happened to all the people that were living in Rhodesia just minding their own business and getting on with their lives I wonder? *****Before the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there were no "Palestinians" then, and the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians" then****** What war???? As I pointed out before the Brits GAVE that land away when they carved up the Turkish empire. I refer you once again to the Balfour treaty. I know that facts are pesky things but its nice to see them every now and again. Foreign Office, November 2nd, 1917. Dear Lord Rothschild, I have much pleasure in conveying to you, on behalf of His Majesty's Government, the following declaration of sympathy with Jewish Zionist aspirations which has been submitted to, and approved by, the Cabinet: "His Majesty's Government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine, or the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in any other country". I should be grateful if you would bring this declaration to the knowledge of the Zionist Federation. Yours sincerely Arthur James Balfour **************Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs From The Same General Area Who Are In Deep Denial About Never Being Able To Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death." I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."************ I am staggered at the level of purile rascism on display here. If you want to argue a point based on historical fact then fine bring it on, if you are forced to resort to hysterical ranting then I am sorry that you are so closed minded to the fact that strange though it may seem there are 2 sides to every story. I do not agree with ANY form of terrorism, and I do understand the huge problems faced by Israel in the region, but to dismiss an entire race of people who were forced out of their homelands in the way that you have beggars belief.Are you seriously trying to say that ALL of the Palenstinian children killed in the conflict deserved to die, that is how it is reading to me. I have equal sympathy and horror for the Israeli children who have been killed. Do I think that the Palestinians are innocent in this conflict? No of course I dont, equally you cannot say that the Israelis are either. Oh and please dont embarrass yourself by accusing me of racism.

I had to respond to this, were not all the IRA atrocities carried out by Catholics??? Yup but that doesnt mean that I label the whole faith. Were not all KKK attacks carries out by white americans?? Yup but that doesnt mean that I think that all americans don a bdedsheet at the weekend. The situation between Palestine and Israel is one that goes waaaay back and just for the record my dad is Jewish, yet he feels that what has been done to the palestinians is outrageous. He is JEWISH not an Israeli, and there is a big difference between the two!!!! Just because you critisise the actions of a government does not mean that you are attacking someones faith. You might want to read up on the Balfour declaration The Balfour Declaration of 1917 (dated November 2, 1917) was a classified formal statement of policy by the British government on the partitioning of the Ottoman Empire in the aftermath of World War I. The letter stated the position, agreed at a British Cabinet meeting on October 31, 1917, that the British government supported Zionist plans for a National home for the Jewish people within Palestine‎ with the condition that nothing should be done which might prejudice the rights of existing communities there Hmmm do you notice the bit about the palestinians already living there? The problem is you see that the British were giving away something that didnt belong to them - a really bad habit that we had at the time of 'the empire' and for which I apologise unreservedly. I would be pretty peeved if someone gave away my home too. Dont use words like Anti-semetic when someone is just voicing an opinion, I actually think that it distracts from real predjudice if you scream racist every time you hear something that you dont like/agree with.

I find........ HAH!!!!!!...... to be very effective on occasion :woot: Thanks for the explanation on pronunciation Laurend, I think I will practice at home before adding this to my list of Very Useful Words, I love to have a few up my sleeve :woot: Nina x

******Oh, I completely admit that it was stupid and below me. But I think that once in a while, we're all allowed to be a little immature. It's kind of like when you find out that the thin and beautiful head cheerleader that bullied you in high school is now fat, unattractive, and mopping floors at McDonalds while you're, well, not. Later, you may feel sorry for her and feel ashamed of your reaction, but at the time, it feels like the sweetest revenge. So yeah, now I regret what I posted, but I can't change the fact that it did get posted.******* Have to say Laurend I howled laughing at this, so true, I often try to take the moral high ground but am tripped at the last minute by the joys of watching the karmic balance at work. Nina x

That got me thinking on many levels, I too have Jewish blood and Irish catholic ( theres a combination bound to cause entertaining family get togethers) but I never give it any thought, would I feel the same way if I was black mixed race..... I guess I will never know. One of the facts that a lot of mine and DH's mixed race friends find amusing is that DH was born in Kenya as was his dad, he lived there for the first 11 years of his life and then again when he was 16 for a couple of years, they allow him the fact that he is in fact the only one who can truly call himself African. I think that everyone should be proud of their culture, just never at the expense of anothers. Nina

I have found in my experiance that its use is perfectly acceptable between young black people in Britain as a form of affection, one of my white friends who is in a mixed race relationship and has been for years, is known affectionatly amongst our black mates as 'nigs' , they argue she is about as close as you can get without being black! Any word when used in a derogatory fashion is unacceptable, the word 'woman' when said with the wrong tone can be an insult. I have to say though that I think words only have the power that we allow them, if I remember my history correctly the word nigger was a coruption of the word negro, which in itself was a corruption of the word negra meaning black. In Britain the word 'paki' has equally hateful connetations but it is just a shortened version of the word pakistani, it is the people that use these words that give them power, not the words themselves. Political correctness can go to far the other way, and result in a situation as we have in Britain where official termanology is amended every year to allow only the new socially acceptable words to be used, on pain of prosecution for racism. One of the most amusing conversations I have thus far with regards to this particular topic, was between my then 6 year old son ( who was very olive skinned like me) and my husbands best mate ( who is half nigerian but very fair skinned) went something like this. Best mate: '....... so you are white, and I am black' Son: ' no you're not you are brown' BM: ' no I am black I am a black man' Son ' no you're not you are brown......and I am not white I am brown too' BM ' yes I know that *long pause* but I am a black man, my dad was black and my mum was white which means I am a black man' Son ' yes but you ARE brown, and I am browner than you, and so are my mum and dad, does that mean we are black too?' At which point BM wandered off muttering. NIna x

Hmmm, the question would probably be nearer to the truth if it were worded, 'are the english so tied up by beaurocracy that they have to ask permission to breathe for fear of being prosecuted for infringement of other possibly non breathing members of society's human rights that may find it offensive' Nothing as socially stifling as a nanny government is there...

Ahhh does he use PTS? I sense a certain irony that because he is quilting your tummy you are going to be stuck quilting on the couch Nina x