4me4them

So for the first time ever....as in 32 years that I've known my husband....as of this morning....I weigh less than he does. He has been a great support to me on my way up the scale (unconditional love and acceptance) and now on my way down the scale. We've known this was going to happen for about a week now...he is heavier now than he likes to maintain and we both track our weight on the mirror in the bathroom. So now, the worrier in me wonders how he will respond in his own Quest to be healthy. He has been struggling to refind his groove lately... Anyone go through this and how did you support your spouse?

Congrats! Seems like you are on your way!

First welcome! You have a whole site of BUDDIES! I'm wondering what you want in a mentor/buddy relationship?

Oh my. Big.Sad.Face. Can you "un" take the week off? Hang in there, get this bump in the road taken care of and then you can focus on the path ahead...

Good morning and welcome! Two things I would say....one get a big notebook/accordion file to keep everything because once you start the process there is a lot of paper! I had sheets from the nutritionist, appointment receipts, my weigh in results....and even printed a few chat strings from here Second be patient lots of insurance companies require the 6 months supervised diet which a lot of people don't like...use that time to set a good stage for the surgery. OK...I guess it is really 3 things...if you are going to be using insurance....get a copy of your benefits/coverage schedule and study it! Good luck!

Welcome to the forum! Sounds like you are on the road to a new you....albeit an unknown you. I had some trouble with drinking slowly at first as well. It will get better. Give yourself time to figure out who the "new" you is. For me, The longer I'm on this journey the more I truly believe that it isn't really a "new" me, its just the me that I felt like on the inside but never felt like I could express because of my weight. You'll find lots of support here on the forums! Beth

Let me count the days.... I don't get them as often now, but heck yeah....some days are just crappier than others. I wish I had some magic mantra that I could guarantee...but we all know it doesn't work that way. Be nice to yourself and know that the second thoughts, crappy days and "what have I done" panics are just transitionary...as soon as you feel better, and can move and feel rested/nourished again it will be just a memory...Hang in there! You can do it!

So sorry to hear you are having complications! I had heart complications after surgery but they cleared up pretty quickly. I can't comment on the drainage as I didn't have ports but I wanted you to know that sometimes recovery isn't as smooth as we think it is going to be....but it will get better soon.....hang in there! Better days are ahead

Yep, and had to tell it to many different people many different times. I didn't have to be very specific...as in giving dates or anything....but I had to say that I had tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Southbeach.....yada yada yada....

Glad to hear you are on the mend. I had bruises show up for about 2 weeks after...but I tend to bruise easily.

Hang in there and bless you for working with 9th graders! It does get easier....rest whenever you can. I put a couple relaxation/meditation podcasts on my ipod and listened/rested during my lunch at work....doesn't take that long to eat . Maybe you could take 5 minutes at lunch and another 5 on your prep? Good luck! Beth

Welcome aboard! I would say you have to really think about what you mean by "will it work". The surgery itself is not what "works". It does take life changes and living within your nutrition/calorie counts...and exercise (the part I haven't come close to mastering). I freaked out about 4 weeks after surgery when the scale wasn't moving AT.ALL. But my husband talked me back from the ledge and I continued to follow the plan and eventually I did start losing. If I measured "will it work" by losing as much as other people have in the same amount of time I would be disappointed and say no, it didn't work. But if I measure "is it working" by looking at what it has done for me (no more heart medicine, ability to walk down the steps into my office without being afraid my knee is going to buckle...) and the fact that I am learning to listen to my stomach when it tells me it is full the first time (hard lesson to learn) then it has worked, will work and will lead me to the healthier life that motivated me in the first place. Hope this wasn't too preachy...really didn't mean it to be

Welcome to the forums! You will find lots of different perspectives here which is why I found it so valuable when I was starting out. I chose the sleeve because it seemed like the most natural to me. I didn't want a permanent device in my body (so no band) and I didn't like the replumbing associated with the bypass.

HANG.IN.THERE. I was so where you are about 10 weeks ago. Frustrating beyond belief. Your body is adjusting...just keep following the plan and it will work. It just works at different speeds for different people.

Maybe you could put yourself back on the liquid diet for a few days....then start tracking everything again...good luck!

I called the DR office...it took about a week. Then it took another week before the insurance company actually sent me my acceptance letter

Best wishes! Do what they tell you and be nice to yourself....you just had major surgery!

I totally understand! I normally don't see myself as heavy as I am....in fact in my dreams I'm a skinny girl!! But every now and then I see a picture and am so sad. I wonder sometimes if that will go away when I've lost down to my goal or if I will always be surprised....

It is not too bad....I didn't really mind it, although I was pretty grumpy the first week. In fact I stole a phrase from someone on here and would tell my husband that I was "hangry" hungry + angry....that was his cue to leave me alone There was one unfortunate tantrum with the Christmas lights...but really, those things get really tangled...who is to say it was the liquid diet.

I started with just a few close friends and family and asked them to keep it among us. As the date got closer, folks who could see my calendar and the leave status saw that I was going to be out 3 weeks and I started getting questions about my health....people were worried. I decided to release the confidants , thanked them for the support and told them if folks asked they could tell. I also started telling folks when they asked me. For me, it was just easier than trying to keep it secret and I only had one person give me anything negative (why be so radical...I have this great diet you should try first....as if). The only thing you have to be ready for is that folks will want to know how you are doing afterwards and a couple of them have been pretty bold about asking how much I've lost. When I wasn't loosing very quickly this got annoying....so my standard answer to almost everyone except a few closes friends is "I'm not sure, I haven't weighed in awhile...but I walked 4 miles this weekend!". That answer put a stop to them asking for a pounds lost update...

I used to be able to lay in bed, prop my kindle on my belly and it was the perfect reading height for reading...lol. That tummy is gone so now I use a pillow...

I still get that sometimes...about 2 months post surgery and I never had a band. I swear sometimes I can feel the warm tea drip into my stomach...and the sounds it makes...while no one has said anything, I can't believe they don't hear it...

I lost 1.3 pounds my first two weeks post op....that is all! I was soooo frustrated! In fact, I didn't really get in losing groove until about 6 weeks after surgery. Hang in there, follow your plan to the best of your ability and remember that we can't compare ourselves to each other....everyone who works the plan will see the plan work....it might take longer than you thought but it will happen!

So it has been 2 months since my surgery. I took an extended break from this blog and the site because I was getting crazy. I was crazy obsessed with every ounce that didn't come off when I thought it should, with every bite that went into my mouth (or didn't). For me, I couldn't read about the great weight loss that others were experiencing because it caused the same bad feelings I used to get when looking at fashion websites....and I knew for me that wasn't a good sign. Today is the first day in a very long time that I've logged back into the site. Here is what I think I've learned in the 2 months since my surgery: 1. It's more complicated than I thought it would be. I did really well on the two week pre-diet and I thought post op would be like that...I would religiously follow a strict plan and success would happen! For some reason that was much harder to do starting about 20 days post-op. Perhaps it was because I had been on liquids, squishy things for MONTHS at that point, perhaps it was Christmas and all the holiday habits...but I found myself eating things I knew I shouldn't....albeit very small quantities. So when I went back to the nutritionist at about 6 weeks post-op, she was supportive but also blunt. Eating bread, rice, pasta are not good post op because they swell in the stomach....hearing that made me really take notice....did I go through all this to sabotage it 6 weeks out with some bread? NO I DID NOT! 2. I have to be more patient with myself. I've settled into about 700-800 calories a day...which for me is allowing around 2 pounds loss per week...and I've become accepting of that. For some reason I thought it would be 6 or 7 pounds a week...but not for me. I have stopped weighing every day and weigh just once a week again. I've dropped so many clothes sizes that I recently had to give away some pants I wore for 3 weeks....3 weeks! I mention that because it is another way when the scale doesn't move to know that I'm doing right things. 3. If you share your journey with folks, they will ask you questions afterwards as well....especially "so how much have you lost" which is really annoying when you haven't lost anything in a couple of weeks. It can also be awkward when you go out to eat with them...like I sometimes have to do for work events. The first one I went to was at a freakin Pizza Parlor. I ordered the meat sub, minus the bread...and ate 1/4 of it...lol. The folks at the table kept asking me if I wanted a wing...which I didn't...and saying things like "I should really be eating like you". I think I made them feel guilty...which made me feel guilty. 4 I still like chocolate. There I said it. I have given up bread, rice and pasta....but I still crave chocolate and so when I enjoy a piece, I really enjoy it, log the calories and move on. I've also found some good diabetic dessert recipes that I'm working with. 5. I still like cooking....a lot! I cook different things (cauliflower "rice" anyone?) and I grill a lot. I'm also eating more fish. I'm glad this part of my life didn't go away... 6. I haven't figured out a consistent exercise plan yet. Most days I get 30 minutes of walking, but that is usually at work and is to and from meetings...while I'm glad to be able to do that, I know that I have to get some more intense cardio going to improve my heart health and stamina. So, one question I get a lot is ....was it worth it...and I would say absolutely YES! While not as fast or easy as I thought it would be, I have never in my adult life lost 57 pounds before...and I know in my core that those are 57 pounds I will not regain...so yes it was worth it! Till next time...Beth

I've cooked for my husband and adult brother that lives with us throughout. Cooking is something I enjoy and while there were a couple of times it was difficult, most of the time it was OK. Now that I'm on pureed, I'm playing with flavors in my chicken and looking for a great healthy lowfat crustless quiche recipe for Christmas morning....my next step up from pureed. I know that what I'm cooking I'll be able to eat again in moderation so I don't look at it negatively.