bandster_1007

wifemom..is he becoming anorexic? i know my husband was doing boxing for a little while, and the fast that they do, along with the diuretics, etc. are insane. that is why they don't sweat, they are severly dehydrated. it's crazy. he didn't do it for a while.

i had to deal with anorexia/bulemia at a very young age. they told my mom i would die. i didn't though, i went the oppositte direction. my only advise is to make sure he gets therapy, and even more importantly, make sure he finishes it. i stopped going as soon as i started eating, and i ended up needing the lap band. although, i have medical reasons for becoming overweight (pcos), i still started eating unhealthily.

thank you kat. your story brings tears to my eyes. i have had cancer but it was on my cervix and it was removed before it could spread. it was not hpv.

i fear the cancer because it seems like the day i started my period it has been nothing but problems. i had my first surgery for endometriosis at 13!!!! and had 2 more by the time i was 21. the endometriosis is not so much a problem anymore (although i would have to say that i feel just as bad)..now it is the cystic ovaries. i had over 100 cysts on my ovaries when they worked on them 3 months ago. 100!!! that had all gotten there in the course of 6 years. they were not cancerous cysts, but painful.

i feel like i already suffer from the symptoms that a lot of women have after surgery. sex is very painful, especially if there is any contact with the cervix. it shoots pains up to my belly button. certain positions are out of the question because of this...i have absolutely no natural lube unless dh tries really hard for a while to get me in the mood. i'm moody, extremely bitchy a lot, i have terrible terrible cramps and back aches, i'll have bad pms, but no period. i feel like it is time and i have just been putting off the inevitable. i have the night sweats already, i have the facial hair, my hormones are crazy.

i feel like now i know why i got pregnant at 18. i was supposed to. it seems that the only time i could have had a successful pregnancy i did. sure, i do want more kids. that is not something i can trick myself out of, but i do not feel it is worth the pain and agony, not to mention expense to have another one. dh does not want any more, and by the time he changes his mind, my body is just going to be in worse condition. we also discussed this seriously and if we decide we want more, we will adopt.

also, it seems that i'm having periods, but it is not leaving my body. it is just pooling up in my uterus causing me bad infections and pain. i honestly feel the need to "bare down" every time i go to the bathroom. i feel pressure on my cervix and i feel like "the bottom is going to fall out" every day of my life.

i'm terrified. i'm scared i will go into a depression, and miss my female parts. i'm scared sex is going to be worse than it is now. i mean it is painful and my drive is awful. that is not normal for a 26 year old. i could go months without it and be fine, but i don't because i know that it is not healthy for myself or my marriage.

dh has lost his spontaneity because i'm always hurting and it seems like i get an infection everytime we do anything..and no he is not giving it to me.

i asked the doctor why this keeps happening, i follow the rules..i do not douche, i do not take baths, i do not use harsh soaps, i wear cotton underwear, i cannot get into hot tubs, etc. the doctor said that my system is just in really bad condition.

so that is it in a nutshell. i feel like my body has betrayed me. i'm scared, but i see no other options. it's been tried. i just had surgery to "clean me all up" and now look at where i am.

i appreciate all the input, and look forward to any more input that people may have.

i have to go to the doctor today and we will be discussing a hysterectomy. i'm too young for this, but i have yet another uterine infection. terrible terrible back pain and i've started bleeding black blood. i'm afraid.

want.....are you getting afraid of yours?

yeah, i'm aware of the fact that i'll have no more kids. it kind of looks that way anyways. i go today to discuss alternatives.

i'm going to look into freezing my eggs, but then i would have to have a surrogate mother. that probably would not be easy.

well, thank you for all your responses. i'm at work today very drugged, and in pain...i'll see the doctor today and i'll let you all know.

sory i haven't been back on. i got another infection in my uterus and now we are talking about having a hysterectomy. i have the appointment with my doc tomrrow to discuss..i'm a little scared.

ok, so for any of you that have followed me at all know that i miscarried this year and had some severe complications.

well, i thought it was all better. i've been back at work for 2 months now, and then yesterday i end up in the ER and i have yet another uterine infection.

what the hell? so, i have to go see my ob/gyn tomorrow and this is the same one that already thinks i need to have a hysterectomy.

i'm not going to debate it on here, because i know it is a very personal thing. for me, i have so many problems now, with no periods, cystic ovaries, endometriosis, severe pms, and now severe lower back pain from a heavy uterus and infection with occasional black blood but no period.

so here is my question:

for those of you who have had it done (removing even your ovaries) do you regret it? how much time did you have to take off work? and the biggest thing..how did it affect your sex life?

i'm married and sex is very painful now and it obviously affects my drive. also because my hormones are so out of wack, i am used to using a lubricant.

i'm scared. i'm too young for this, but it appears that i am only putting off the inevitable. i can't wait to hear from some of you. and thank you in advance.

btw..i went to my regular family doctor yesterday and he would not treat me..told me i had to go to er, because i was showing signs of being "septic". chills, fever, pain, etc. er doctor agreed. i got iv antibiotics and ioral antibiotics. also, the pain was horrible. 2 shots of demerol didn't do anything to me at all. they finally gave me stadol to help. they were very caring and helpful, i was afraid they were going to think i was not really hurting, because i wasn't crying or anything, but i was just honest with them, and they were fantastic (i have only been to the er in my adult life over this female crap and it has all been since my miscarriage).

want, it will stay going, and please do not be embarrassed or ashamed. we have all been there and if we hadn't been we wouldn't have needed the band. just because you are unfilled and not being able to follow the rules exactly doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to come here for support. we are here for you. and if you ever just need to talk you can call me...i will pm you my phone number.

i know i have said it before, but try to avoid that nasty cycle of blaming yourself/or feeling guilty and then eating to cover it up.

i did horrible myself yesterday, and i'm swollen beyond belief to prove it (Water retention). i did lose another 3 lbs, i know i said i wasn't going to weigh..but i did. so now i am officially under 200 lbs, i am 197, with clothes on at night. although i'm sure the doctor's scale would say it was different. i had lays potato chips for dinner...and i had chocolate milk for Breakfast.

my pcp recommended for me to drink milk at least 3 times a week because i had developed a severe Vitamin deficiency when i was sick that put these sores on the outside of my mouth..it was gross...so i would rather drink milk a few times a week than have those. my doctor says no milk though.

so, i had a pleasant surprise today. since my miscarriage and d&c (which was a late d&c), my body has acted like i was having a period but never "produced". well all week i have been feeling like that, but i was in the middle of my pill cycle and i didn't want to be a whiner so i ignored it. i mean i had all the signs, i was out monday with a Migraine, i've been craving cheese like crazy, i've been a total bitch, and then ....this morning...it was there...i feel so much better now.

i can't wait to hear from you guys. i hope you get to feeling better wifemom...and want_so do not ever think that we are going to chastise or judge you. that is not what we are here for, this is a support thread, and i do not believe in beating up the discouraged in the first place.

my doctor said it holds WAY more cc's than the 10cc. it expands. i think she said at 80 something it will bust.

i use the intuition?? is that the one with the shave bar around the razor. i love it, i can shave my legs, and my "personal" all in about 2 minutes..if even that. no shaving rash either.

the refill cartridges are expensive though.

i think i have 9.75 cc's and i'm no where near my sweet spot...

ok ladies, were losing the thread. and this has been so helpful to me.

quick update. i got my fill on friday and i had some "fluid" on my shirt after the fill. i at first thought it was blood because i usually bleed out, but it wasn't it was clear Fluid. immediately after my fill i'm like starving (and i think i've had over 10 fills and that doesn't normally happen)...so i'm hungry and all weekend i can eat completely normal if not more than normal.

so i e-mail my doctor's office, and guess what it can leak after a fill!!!! the port is self-sealing, and sometime's it takes it a little longer to seal. i don't think it is common, but it can happen.

so, i've got another fill scheduled 9/6.

ok, i've broken the sweet drink habit. that's not to say that i will never have a sweet drink again, but it is not a daily occurance. now i've just got to do the exercise.

so here is my report since my fill:

Friday: 789 calories 17 grams of Protein

Sat: 1556 calories 63 grams of Protein (who knew fried catfish had so many calories!!)

Sun: 778 calories 21 grams of protein

Mon: 997 calories 23 grams of protein

Tues: 1060 caloreis and 31 grams of protein

Wed: 1127 calories and 37 grams of protein

my average calorie per day is 1051 and my protein is 42 grams. that is really not too bad, but i need to get down about 200 more calories (lower).

how i'm doing on my goal. i have logged food every day for the past week. i have cut out sweet drinks......and i have not exercised....

how are you guys doing? i'm feeling pretty good, but i have not weight myself and honestly i do not plan to for at least another week or so. i want to be surprised if i actually lose any weight.

i think a lot of people stop posting after they get past the "new" phase. then they are posting in their monthly forums or other areas.

...yeah but we started talking about exercise and it died!!! lol..

i'm still up for exercise buddies if anyone else is...

yeah i think i need counseling....

ugh, i ate a snickers bar over the course of the day, but I did manage to avoid the soda. So far, thats been it, when I get home, it'll probably be vegetables with ground turkey (I'm trying only to eat solids, and not drink before or after the meal, you know the deal)

-A

that sounds exactly like me..if i avoid the soda then it seems that i have a candy bar or something else.

i go totally griped out at my doctor when i went for my fill. their scale said i had only lost 4 lbs in a month, whereas mine said more. the nurse that did my fill (who is the doctor's wife) asked if i was drinking liquid calories. and i did not lie. i told her i was a total dr pepper addict. at first she was making me say things like "i will not drink dr pepper anymore", but i wouldn't even say it because i know it is not true.

she then told me to write on the memo part of my check every month that i wil lnot drink dr pepper. lol.

she is right though, i'm totally sabotaging myself. i swear that when i hit the 200 lb mark i freaked out. i've got to get over it and stop drinking the calories. i told her i was down to about one a day. she told me to start mixing the diet with the regular, but i hate drinking artificial sweeteners.

i guess it's time to get over it..it's time to completely redo my diet, because on days that i eat healthy my blood sugar goes down to 60 or so and i almost pass out...that is why i always resort to sugar. i have it in my head that if i'm tired i need sugar, and that is just not the case.

my goal this week..to go at least 3 days without a drpepper :thumbup:.

angelica, it sounds to me like he is sending mixed signals. maybe he just acts before he thinks, and then when he thinks about it, he decides something different.

i tend to do that a lot with my husband.

i did not work out yesterday, i had an open house at school. but that is still just an excuse.

we already have a wii, i'm just looking into a wii fit. we got the wii for x-mas. they are expensive.

my calories for yesterday were 1260 and my Protein was 31.

want...i do think that when you increase your calories after you have been restricted for a while, it sort of tricks your body and you lose weight. that is the whole premise of the diet where you eat 2 days, then don't eat a day..etc. i know it has happened to me. every time i'm getting to where i need a fill, i will lose at first on the higher calories, but then i stop and i need to decrease them again.

i'm so glad that we are all getting on here and doing this, it is helping me so much, and i hope that you all are being helped also. thank you so much!!!

i'm getting another fill in about an hour. i think i've had like 11 so far..lol.

quote for the day:

"Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth, we have spoken it."

ok, so..... i ate about 1500 calories yesterday and i'm not even going to report on my Protein becuase there was probably like 20 grams. then, i bet i lost half of my hair yesterday, so it's wake up time for me again. i'm not giving up, just because i've had a rough couple of weeks. i'm still maintaining at the 198 and i think i'm sabotaging myself because it is scary crossing over that mark..

but today....right now..i'm drinking a slim fast high Protein instead of mcd's sweet tea and iced coffee..lol. i'm going to have to have some coffee though, i couldn't sleep very well last night.

ok, here's the quote of the day:

"It is by acts and not by ideas that people live."

do whatever you need to do want..i am here for you...we are here for you.

i started scrapbooking last night. kept me from wanting to eat. but then i was starving at dinner time, so i splurged on ice cream (and i do mean splurged).

....have you ugys thought about wii fit?????

you will do better and you will do even better with a fill.

my calories for yesterday were 1500 and i did not exercise. i did laundry though :Banane37:

post all you want ....want...that is what this is for.

WELCOME ANGELICA, i am so glad we can all do this together

man, i cannot do liquids. i swear i gain more weight during that phase, because i cannot just stick to Protein shakes. no, i want slushies and ice cream, and popsicles and nothing sugar free.

i did yoga yesterday at home, i did not go to the gym. it seems since i had 3 surgeries to fix that miscarriage that my lower back kills me when i pms. I MEAN KILLS ME. narcotics won't even take it away.

so wheni pms i'm miserable and it last 1 1/2 weeks before my "absent period". so i have the stomach problems, the Migraines, the muscle aches, and now i have the stupid back hurting. geez..my doctor recommends removing my ovaries, but i am too scared.

i think i ate something like 1400 calories yesterday.

i did however, only drink a coke zero. no real coke!!!!!! whew hew. i can't have coke until 4 days after a fill anyways, so i should get prepared. but theni blew it with having a mr goodbar and a glass of kool aid before bed. (so it didn't help me to go low cal)

see, my doc says we can have coke, no problem, just let it flatten for 5 minutes first and make sure it is diet. i hate diet. lol.

ok, i'm rearranging my priorities. i'm setting a mini goal. i would like to be down to 190 by September. So that is 10 lbs, give or take. i would like to use a 20 punch gym card by october. i would like to use the daily plate at least 4 days a week. (i tend to not log on weekdays), and i'm getting started now.

let's go ladies.

how far are you from your 30 days?

i did sleep better...thank you for asking want.. i'm taking ambien during the week and that is helping SOOOOOO much.

dh and i spent the day lounging around and laughing yesterday...this after i got ticked at him for being such a tight wad..lol...

wifemomteacher..i am so glad that you are joining us. this has helpmed me in more ways than i can explain, and that is why i like it.

it keeps me more on track. i haven't lost any weight this week, but considering i had lost the 8 1/2 i guess it is ok to be a little slow..

i'm going to a new gym tonight!!!! i'll try to post my experience after i go (the only gym i have gone to is curves..and i hate it there).

i have not exercised yet this week, but i did do yard work yesterday and i never do that. i did enough to make my arms and legs shaky (sp?). i was picking up sidewalk bricks and rearranging them (the 2'x2' ones) and they were heavy!!! i was going to go to the gym but after that excursion i decided not to..heck i didn't even want to clean the house anymore.

i have decided however that when it comes to the outside of the house if i want it done, i'm going to have to do it myself. no sense in b***ching about it all the time because it does not good..lol.

i am having a horrible day, and i'm definately emotionally eating..my dh is being a butt...and i'm being one too..neither of us are sleeping good. he works 3-11 so, i can't sleep because he's not there, and then he comes in and i wake up because i'm a light sleeper, then he sleeps on the couch because he can't go to sleep if i already am asleep..then i get mad....

ugh..i've got to get some sleep.

WELCOME THANKFUL!!! We would be glad to have you join us for this blog.

i haven't been tracking my calories, but i have been following my one a day sweet drink rule. this is my "PMS" week, so i usually eat everything in sight....especially cheese dip, cheese in a can.......choco milk...onion dip....dairy dairy dairy..lol

i haven't exercised yet because i have been really busy. i should have went monday night..it was the only night that i didn't have anything to do.

tonight i'm going to try to do something before i take my son to his nanea's.

when i weighed on tuesday i still weighed 198..so if i can make it through this week without gaining too much, i'll be happy.

i've got to break this sweet drink habit..it's killing me. i can go all day and the only thing sweet i will have is the drink. ..and i hate the idea of drinking that artificial stuff.

ok, want how are you doing?

what about you thankful, are you exercising and logging your food? congrats on the 30lbs by the way!

quote of the day: (i like this one a lot)

"Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started."