jjsmiles

First picture is from around Christmas of 2005 - I weighed around 350 ish (navy blue geometric blouse).
Second picture is from March 2008 - I weigh about 220 (blue and pink t-shirt)

Having weighed at least 409 pounds, and also spending years "down" to the 350's because of undiagnosed diabetes and other illnesses, I know what you are saying. I think that one of the differences is that at those weights I had never heard of WLS, and I don't think that if I had even heard of them, I would have had the energy or the self esteem to persue. I was so out of tune with myself that I don't think I could make wise choices for myself when it came to my health.
I have a friend who is about 20 pounds overweight, who has told me many times that her 20 is as big a hurdle as my 200 (yeah right - although I just nod my head):smile2: and smile.
I sometime get jealous of those folks who "only" have 75 to lose in total. I think that my jealousy stems from the fact that these people are taking charge and control of themselves, when I couldn't or maybe a better word is that I "wouldn't". If I am to get to a healthy BMI, I still have about 60 pounds to lose and for the first time in my life, I believe it is possible.
As you go through this journey, focus on losing the weight in a healthy way and retraining your eating habits so that your weight loss is sustainable. I worry more about the people who get so militant about their diet and go for so much restriction that they can't eat real food and treat the band as another diet to be endured until they lose the weight and can go back to being "normal".
I don't know how long you have carried your weight, but I have carried it my entire life and my definition of "normal" is changing a whole lot. A huge part of my journey is opening my eyes to myself (maybe for the first time ever) and seeing me for the treasure that I am. I think alot of the lower BMI'ers already "see" themselves and were ready for the journey earlier - or not - just my nickel's worth :tongue2:
Chin up - you are not alone and you can do it!!!

Hi Alexandra,
food isn't really the enemy - after all we all HAVE to eat - it is the power we give food that gives us our issues. You had a difficult evening where you ate some junk. OK - so what?- there are very few people in this world who don't eat pb cups and oreos (or whatever junk appeals to them). That doesn't make you a failure, it makes you NORMAL. Didn't you go into this journey to be normal? There is good and bad with normal, there is NOT perfection.
Ask yourself this, what would have been a binge for you pre band and pre journey? I am suspecting it would have been the entire bag of oreos and the entire back of mini pb cups. To me, this was a little blip, and you will get over it. You already took steps by acknowleding it publically and writing it down (both in fitday and here).
You recognized that you didn't like what you did, and you can do something about it, but I think you need to be kinder to yourself (and I don't mean kinder in terms of "allowing" yourself anything to eat that you want to make yourself feel better - that IS the journey back to 300 pounds)!!!
What I mean is beating yourself up and negating all the things you love about yourself because of some pb cups and oreos is the road to depression and over eating. I am thinking that you are kind of hormonal right now and you are entitled to a bit of a pity party, but don't forget all you have achieved, by giving chocolate and sweets the power to hurt you more than it already has.
You have been in this journey for a long time now and have been phenominally successful. Remember that, remember the confidence you now have and recognize the inner beauty that now shines forth for others to see. Stand back and let the pb cups and oreos go- they are really NOTHING in your world :huh2: