I will what I want

omg! You have over 4,000 posts...I'd hope that would make you more than a "registered user." Lol. Looks like a glitch to me :-).

Just read this on the twitter feed of a great spiritual teacher, Cheri Huber: "There is no such thing as a mistake. Powerful spiritual opportunities? Yes. Mistakes? No. " I have been filled with so much self doubt lately - I so needed this shift in perspective today. What do you all think? Have any stories that illustrate this concept? Do you agree? Disagree?

As someone who spent way too much money and time on a wedding for all the wrong reasons...do what you feel is best for you and your love. I've wished many times we had all the money back on our wedding that we did for other people! Spend it on an amazing honeymoon instead! (We also didn't have supportive family. His didn't even bother to show up....and he is a great man...the rest of them, not so much) Your life is your own. Live it on your terms. Many congrats on getting married!

As someone who spent way too much money

It's true a the way to get a perfect fit is with a practice run in throw away fabric, a muslin. I'm considering sewing in advance of weight loss for a couple of reasons: motivation, relaxation, a strategy to keep from worrying/obsessing/(no idol hands, you know). It is risky in that I could get it wrong and have a beautiful garment I can't wear. On the other hand, I could give it away as a gift and that always fills my heart - so it's not like it would be terrible. Much love to all my BP friends! Happy sewing or (whatever you do to relax)! Shellie

Thanks all for the great responses and encouragement! I'm thinking I will work on some unstructured and easy to alter size 12s. I've got some amazing Chanel and Missoni fabric that I just can't bring myself to make I a size 26! It will be so motivating to work with it in a small size...it is so beautiful...it even smells good. @@Natasha - wow you have a degree in design. What fun it's going to be for you when you are in a size that you feel good about! I found myself talking to my young daughters today about style (at 7 years old my twin girls have very specific and wonderful style, it's amazing to me) and I haven't ever done that with them because I've felt so big and not stylish (although I have done my best not to become frumpy). It felt good to know that I'm not far away from being able to show them that too. Like you, I also won't start a Chanel-type jacket until I'm where I want to be size wise. I'm a bit of an odd bird...I love handwork.....I find it very relaxing and meditative. And I'm pretty sure I will need that post-op. Again, thanks everyone for your insight and encouragement! This group rocks!

So sorry - I didn't mention that I am pre-op. Getting mentally ready and thinking about what motivates me... I'm considering sewing even before my WLS as a motivator and reward for taking this big step. I do .almost. Couture level sewing as a hobby so it would be a lot of work and I don't want to get the sizing too off. Normally one would make a muslin first to get the fit correct. Maybe I'll just make stretchy stuff!

Thank you RJ for your informative answer. You summed it up beautifully for me. I am in the pre-op stage and working hard to get my head around WLS. I have some free floating fears that I could not pin down and this helped me to understand them - specifically about the rigidity. In my youth....many many moons ago....I was completely ridged about calories and eating...and it wasn't good. I've been worrying about becoming obsessed with calories again...but not able to articulate it well. This helped me so much! I can totally get behind balanced and moderate - in body, mind and spirit! And also pop-tarts :-)

What do you mean by treating the sleeve as a failed diet?

I also agree about the vits and omega 3. There is a correlation between low thyroid and vitamin deficiency - I often have those checked at the same time as thyroid levels. The same may be true for over active thyroid as well.

You can ask your doc for the test. I have my levels checked all the time, especially if I am feeling not myself. Docs are usually happy to order the test. I have learned to be an advocate for myself with Docs and ask for the test. I also have to convince them that I need to be ever so slightly over treated to feel well - but that's a whole other topic.

My surgeon told me that it is the fast release of estrogen from stored fat that causes the hair loss. My dermatologist said the same thing. On the other hand, I've had many doctors tell me things that didn't turn out to be accurate. I've also been taking biotin and lots of other vits because I was losing my hair from Hashimoto's. Once I got my meds upped I stopped losing from my head. And I do have lots of hair growing other places too, maybe from the biotin. Sometimes this all feels like a roll of the fuzzy dice (pun intended)

Thank you RJ for your comment, "living like a actual thin person with balance and moderation and the sleeve as a tool. (Not an exact quote). I am going thru the process to get VSG and I am wondering if it is more than just the restriction that makes living like thin person possible. Someone else also mentioned the VGS as giving a person time to work out their relationship to food. I am trying to get my head around why this surgery is so successful when other interventions are not. (because as we all know WLS is the only intervention that statistically works.). I am a newbie so if I should start a thread with this question rather than post it here, someone let me know. I'm not entirely clear on the process. I am putting it here since it is in line with your comment about living like a thin person...

Hi All - I have been lurking on this board for a good year. I am 47 years old and mother to seven year old twin girls. My BMI is around 35. I have co-morbidities so my insurance WILL cover WLS (I've checked!). I have severe sleep apnea (75 event an hour)…to the point where the pressure is so high on my machine I have to tape my mouth shut….its awful. My rational side understands the statistics around wls and I that it really the only intervention that actually works. I know I can't do this myself - I've done the yo-yo weight thing my entire life. I want off the bi-pap and to be around for my daughters and husband….. I even pretty much have a surgeon picked out and just need to get the ball rolling. However, I'm stuck in a couple of places mentally. First, I'm concerned about the first few months post-op. I had a terrible illness a few years ago and I felt like I was going to die. Fatigue was one of the main symptoms….the kind where you can barely get out of bed…and I'm terrified of that happening after surgery for the months where calories are very low. Secondly, I spoke to a NUT at the program I may go through about the calories a year out from the vsg and she said its about 1200 to 1400. I am 5'10" and my BMR is around 2300 (according to my BodyMedia device) so I would waste away at that amount. When I asked about the calories being too low…she basically blew me off and said "I wasn't ready." I get that my BMR will go down a lot….but I doubt that low. For the folks who have had the vsg, what is your experience with fatigue? How about maintenance calories for a tall woman? Thanks in advance for your replies!

Thanks for your response. I really like your comment, "don't over think!" How'd you know I do that...a lot?!?

I have read through this entire thread again to see If my remarks were off. Even as I read them again, Its clear to me my remark about "jerks" wasn't pointed at anyone in particular. However, in the context and flow of the thread I can see how it could have been read as me calling MR a jerk. It was a newbie mistake for me not to make it clear that I wasn't dissing her. So to MR and those who love her, I am sorry. Please let me know what else I need to do or say to clean this up with you. (Please don't ask for a 20 page paper that compares and contrasts protein shakes???? because then I'd have to start a Rant about that and we could get caught in some sort of Star Trek infinity time loop. And you know what a pain those are!

Breaking Red -Thanks for your honesty! It's courageous to say what's so.

Love this idea - work on those areas before weight loss. It seems like common sense until I really think about it - why would that help? Do you know why it would make a Difference in extraSkin?

There is a great book entitled, "There's Nothing Wrong with you." It's written by a Zen nun, Cheri Huber. It is about how we are socialized to not like ourselves and to beat ourselves up in order to reign in our internalized bad feelings. It goes like this...If. I eat a cookie and I'm on a diet then I'm going to tell myself how bad I am for eating it so I don't ever do it again. Except that we end up feeling even worse... And eating even more. It is a great little book. It's not actually about weight loss, just being human. I find it's a great antidote to feelings of worthlessness and low self esteem. I bring it up now because it fits the situation for both the OP and the women at her support group - full of bad feelings about themselves. It helped me make sense of why we are all so mean to ourselves.

Wow. I wasn't even speaking of MR when I wrote that. it's true that these kind of posts have a chilling effect on asking questions. I'm pretty sure there are lots of other newbies reading this and deciding not post anything at all now. Sorry MR that you thought I was calling you a jerk - I was pointing to what I have I've seen on this site. Someone answering a question with that attitude of wtf are you doing? Then getting angry when called on that attitude. I'm more than happy to leave. BP...is that what you were suggesting MR, with your comment about the door?

I'm a newbie and while I try to ask reasonable questions, I too am afraid of the wrath of the gurus. People ask questions because they want connection with others. This can be a lonely and scary journey. I've read a lot on this forum and it seems like there are a handful of folks who like to push buttons and then say "who me? I wasn't being a jerk..." Luckily, it's only a few.

I am also very close to the cut-off for BMI. I am at 35 but since I have terrible sleep apnea (75 events an hour) I qualify. I wonder if you ate a bunch of salty pop-corn the night before your appointment you would retain enough water to get to 40? I know I can put on 5 pounds of water weight easy. Good luck.