InfiniteButterfly

For me, it's my bf. A lot of it is he was scared (and still is) about the surgery itself and the aftermath. Then he seems to have a chubby fetish (which he only seemed to acquire or bring out into the open) when I started talking about surgery. Post-surgery...he barely talks to me, barely touches me, rarely says anything nice (and in fact, told me he missed my missing stomach). He makes me understand why so few relationships survive this surgery
So yes, I understand having someone completely unsupportive. Luckily, the rest of my family is incredibly supportive and understand completely why I did this. So I try to ignore his bile and hope that he changes. If he can't accept a healthier me, then much as it hurts to say, he doesn't deserve me.

I have been completely open about my surgery to those that ask. I am not ashamed that I needed to take this step. No more so than when I got my thyroid removed a few years ago (I had more questions when that scar was healing than I've had about my weight loss, honestly)
But I was pretty up-front about the whole process. People that I worked closely with through my volunteer work knew long before my surgery that I was having it done (several of the other women there had also had the surgery, but long enough ago that a lot of things changed, so their questions mostly related to the process itself), and the questions now are about how I'm feeling, what I can and can't do at this stage, etc. I haven't heard a negative comment yet. I'm not saying there are none...but none that I've heard. And if someone wants to complain that I'm cheating because I had surgery...well, I have two works for them and the first one rhymes with duck I don't have time for negativity in my life. I'm making positive changes and to hell with anyone who wants to bring me down. I don't need them in my life.
I think the only negatives at all were from my bf, and that wasn't so much with regards to cheating or anything...he has a fear of doctors and hospitals, and wished that I didn't need to go to the extreme of surgery (but he understood why I was doing it and supported me whole-heartedly even with his reservations)

Wow. Just wow. Part of me understands his anger at your suggestion he walk (I reacted irrationally when my bf suggested it to me my second day home, because I was in a lot of pain and didn't want to move. But I KNEW it was an irrational reaction, and actually followed his suggestion and felt better)
I would also ask if he acted this way prior to surgery?
Honestly, with you having your own issues to deal with, is there any place you can go to get away for a few hours or a few days? Unless he wants to change, he's not going to, and it sounds like he's content to use you as a whipping boy to take out his discomfort and that's not right. You mention his doctor suggested a rehab facility...what about a home health nurse or somebody to drop by and look at him? At the rate he's going, he sounds completely unwilling to help himself, and he's treating you very poorly indeed. (maybe contact his doctor or bariatric team and ask them for suggestions as well?)
You need to take care of yourself. If that means taking a few steps back for a few days and making him take care of himself, that may be what you need to do. I'm worried that you may be damaged in the long run if you're neglecting yourself to take care of someone who should be more willing to help himself.
*hugs*

Wow. Just wow. Part of me understands his anger at your suggestion he walk (I reacted irrationally when my bf suggested it to me my second day home, because I was in a lot of pain and didn't want to move. But I KNEW it was an irrational reaction, and actually followed his suggestion and felt better)
I would also ask if he acted this way prior to surgery?
Honestly, with you having your own issues to deal with, is there any place you can go to get away for a few hours or a few days? Unless he wants to change, he's not going to, and it sounds like he's content to use you as a whipping boy to take out his discomfort and that's not right. You mention his doctor suggested a rehab facility...what about a home health nurse or somebody to drop by and look at him? At the rate he's going, he sounds completely unwilling to help himself, and he's treating you very poorly indeed. (maybe contact his doctor or bariatric team and ask them for suggestions as well?)
You need to take care of yourself. If that means taking a few steps back for a few days and making him take care of himself, that may be what you need to do. I'm worried that you may be damaged in the long run if you're neglecting yourself to take care of someone who should be more willing to help himself.
*hugs*

I hit my first stall between week 2 and three. It lasted about a week, and was annoying. I wasn't able to do much exercise other than walking, and I was only taking in 400-600 calories daily. Once I made the transition to soft foods, and therefore a few more daily calories, the weight started marching off again.
Now, at eight weeks, I've been stalled for the past week. I'm between 700-800 calories a day (no possible way to take in more, because I physically can not eat more.) I get about 10k steps daily (that's a mix of cycling and walking, but since Fitbit measures everything in steps, that's what I measure with. I cycle for 30-60 minutes four or five days a week, the rest of it's straight walking). My off days, I still hit around 6k steps. And I lift light weights three days a week. So I'm hitting the calories, hitting the exercise.
I know stalls happen, and I know how frustrating it is. Especially when I do measurements too, but they also don't seem to be moving =P But I fit into size 18 clothes yesterday, so I know something is shifting somewhere. I haven't worn size 18 in nearly 20 years. I've been in all 22-24s. So that's a big plus. Bigger plus: the 18s I bought aren't tight. I could probably have dropped down to a 16, but I was a little wary of going too far down.
I'm not really meaning to complain. I've lost enough that I'm feeling better than I have in years, I'm more active than I've been in years, I'm sleeping better, off most of my meds, so I have nothing to actually complain about. Other than those stubborn, stubborn scales.

The three-week stall sucks. Especially after how fast the weight seemed to fall off those first two weeks.
I've had two stalls so far, and each lasted maybe 6-8 days? Not fun, but just stay the course and the weight will start falling again in no time.

My NUT said she advises her clients to eat the toppings first, and a bite or two of crust if you're still hungry at that point.
I've made pseudo-pizza using a portobello mushroom cap as the base and filling it with a tbsp of sauce, cheese and ham (ham because it has more Protein than pepperoni). It wasn't quite pizza, but the resemblance was close enough that it took care of the cravings.
I've seen a few recipes posted for cauliflower crust to make pizza on (my one attempt pre-surgery was disaster, but I plan to try again), and one using chick pea flour bread. I haven't tried either of these since my surgery, but they are on my "try someday" list. The "bread" made with chick pea flour isn't too bad, and would likely work quite well for Pizza Crust. I used whole wheat tortillas (pre-surgery) to make pizza on as well. Or even 1/2 a sandwich thin would work.
I can't envision myself eating 'real' pizza, but making a healthier version? That I would do in a minute.

I told quite a few people. My bf told even more =p Because for all his trepidation about my surgery, his actions say that he's pretty proud of what I'm doing. I had initially told only family and a few friends. Through him mentioning it to other people (mostly because I became an almost total recluse during the pre-surgery testing, appointments and diet) I discovered a few other people who had the surgery in the past, and they're very interested in how I'm doing.
I have received no negative comments. Maybe people talk about me behind my back, I don't know, but pretty much everyone has been positive to my face. But then, most of our friends and most of the people where we volunteer together have seen my weight loss struggles and bear no animosity to doing whatever it takes to get healthy.
I do understand that I'm quite lucky in this respect. I honestly didn't expect the degree of positive comments and support I received from my friends. But then, I cut a lot of negative people out of my life before I started the process, so that may have something to do with it.

After a week-long stall, it finally broke with a 3-lb loss Yes, I'm very happy I'm losing again. But then, I know I stayed true to the course through it as well. It does help to talk about it and see that others are going through the same things.
(And @@CowgirlJane I can't wait until stalls are a distant memory Looking forward to that.)

After a week-long stall, it finally broke with a 3-lb loss Yes, I'm very happy I'm losing again. But then, I know I stayed true to the course through it as well. It does help to talk about it and see that others are going through the same things.
(And @@CowgirlJane I can't wait until stalls are a distant memory Looking forward to that.)

Count me as another gamer/muncher!
I still game (although not quite as much...I went back to college just before my surgery, so that cuts down on gametime.) but now I have a nice glass of ice Water sitting beside me to sip. I can't wait for Warlords of Draenor (kinda on a WoW hiatus until then, working my way through Borderlands 2 and Guild Wars 2)

230 this morning I'm actually pretty happy with my progress.

Thank you, LipstickLady. I wasn't expecting to read a comment saying that if you don't find Jesus before surgery, you aren't worthy of having it. Faith is personal, and it's hardly something to put someone on blast for on an internet message board. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
I am going to assume the best in people--perhaps those who've commented critically here have never dealt with mental illness on a personal basis. People who are mentally ill have an internal struggle, but it doesn't always mean that we take it out on other people. The OP mentioned that she was having thoughts that were shocking to her because of how judgmental they were. She didn't say anything to the women at the gym, and none of you are the thought police, so I think the efforts to slap OP on the wrist for thinking something negative are a bit misguided. I think LipstickLady had a very valid point earlier in this thread when she mentioned that it might be a part of internalized self-hatred for when you once WERE those women at the gym who weren't taking it seriously.
I also want to say that mental illness is not an excuse for behavior, but rather an explanation that contextualizes our behavior. If you do not know what it's like to have your meds off balance, or to be clinically depressed for years at a time, or to be manic and lose your better judgment, then the least you can do is not shame others who do struggle with those problems. Treating mental health issues requires a great deal of compassion and trying to understand that internal conflict. I think some commenters here could benefit from taking a step back and keeping in perspective that the OP has a legitimate medical illness which impacts her thought patterns and that she was seeking support. The title of the post indicates that yes, she understands that her thoughts were inappropriate. And, on a final note, I just want to affirm that within the medical community, it is widely acknowledged that a relationship with a deity is not an appropriate treatment for a mood disorder.

holy _____ everyone! she came here looking for help and support, not get ripped to shreds!
lighten up everyone! she isnt asking for support for eating a pizza while drinking a 6 pack... she knows she's having issues... help her out! dont give her shit... a lot of you are jumping down her shit for not being kind, how about you model some of that kindness for her?

All of the proselytizing on this thread is a huge turn-off to me. I don't want to be part of a community that forces religious views on others.
To the OP - I have bipolar disorder too, and I am pre-op. I've been on around 40 different psychiatric medications and in the hospital a couple of times. People who don't have a mental illness often lack tact in dealing with these sorts of issues, but I wanted to let you know that I can understand what you're going through--losing weight a few years ago did give me a little bit of an attitude problem. It's a big change.
I am a member of a mental health support forum/chat room and several of us are on the WLS path while also working on our mental health. If you would like a less judgmental place to speak about these issues please PM me and I'll link you. I wish you the best of luck with taking charge of your health, both mental and physical.

I actually look forward to losing a size or two on my feet. I have shoes that I bought a year or two ago that were borderline tight when I bought them (silly me spending that much on shoes thinking they would stretch or break in. They didn't). I'll be happy if I can just fit into them comfortably (they're both hiking shoes. I haven't bought heels or flats in YEARS because I just didn't dress nicely enough to warrant it. My Vibrams are the only expensive shoes I own)
I'm looking forward to buying cute shoes (and cute outfits to go with them)

I will echo what a lot of other people have said: MOST people in a gym don't really care about other people. They are there to get their workout in, and don't bother other people. You will occasionally get an entitled asshole, but they're everywhere and not just exclusive to gyms.
I will say that when I started heavy-duty exercising, I was more than 300 lbs. I didn't go to a gym (just couldn't afford it), but I walked and cycled. And some of the most encouragement I've had, outside my family, were strangers that passed me on the bike trail. A nod of encouragement, a few kind words...people who are in shape tend to know how hard it is to get there and maintain it, and I see a lot more encouragement than discouragement in exercise environments.
If you're more comfortable going at off-times until you get used to going, by all means do it. The important part is getting out there and getting the exercise

I'm almost 13 weeks out and down 75 lbs...and my big accomplishments so far are: doing my first 5k this past weekend (the Color Run, which we actually walked, but we still did it!) The goal for next summer in addition to the Color Run, is the Run for Your Life, Beast on the Bay (a 10-mile obstacle course) and hopefully a triathlon.
More personally, taking steps for surgery gave me the self-confidence necessary to go back to college...which is long overdue. And the big one: I'm able to shop for regular clothes now. I don't have to go into the plus section any more! I was so very excited to be able to buy an XL in regular activewear at Sears...I desperately needed some new workout clothes since my old ones are falling down I was so freaking happy about that!

I'm almost 13 weeks out and down 75 lbs...and my big accomplishments so far are: doing my first 5k this past weekend (the Color Run, which we actually walked, but we still did it!) The goal for next summer in addition to the Color Run, is the Run for Your Life, Beast on the Bay (a 10-mile obstacle course) and hopefully a triathlon.
More personally, taking steps for surgery gave me the self-confidence necessary to go back to college...which is long overdue. And the big one: I'm able to shop for regular clothes now. I don't have to go into the plus section any more! I was so very excited to be able to buy an XL in regular activewear at Sears...I desperately needed some new workout clothes since my old ones are falling down I was so freaking happy about that!

I'm almost 13 weeks out and down 75 lbs...and my big accomplishments so far are: doing my first 5k this past weekend (the Color Run, which we actually walked, but we still did it!) The goal for next summer in addition to the Color Run, is the Run for Your Life, Beast on the Bay (a 10-mile obstacle course) and hopefully a triathlon.
More personally, taking steps for surgery gave me the self-confidence necessary to go back to college...which is long overdue. And the big one: I'm able to shop for regular clothes now. I don't have to go into the plus section any more! I was so very excited to be able to buy an XL in regular activewear at Sears...I desperately needed some new workout clothes since my old ones are falling down I was so freaking happy about that!

I'm almost 13 weeks out and down 75 lbs...and my big accomplishments so far are: doing my first 5k this past weekend (the Color Run, which we actually walked, but we still did it!) The goal for next summer in addition to the Color Run, is the Run for Your Life, Beast on the Bay (a 10-mile obstacle course) and hopefully a triathlon.
More personally, taking steps for surgery gave me the self-confidence necessary to go back to college...which is long overdue. And the big one: I'm able to shop for regular clothes now. I don't have to go into the plus section any more! I was so very excited to be able to buy an XL in regular activewear at Sears...I desperately needed some new workout clothes since my old ones are falling down I was so freaking happy about that!

I've cried at more than one of my psych appointments. But then, I continued seeing my therapist even after the mandated visit. Crying and being emotional is certainly permitted. They're trying to evaluate your mental state and fitness for surgery to make sure you'll be a successful candidate. Some psychs just rubber-stamp it (for lack of a better term), some are genuinely involved in the process and want you to be successful.
Part of my approval stemmed from being willing to continue to work through the process with my psychologist (and I do know I'm very lucky to have insurance that covers these visits) because I do credit at least part of my success to having someone who is very familiar with the process (most of her patients are bariatrics patients) and understands what I'm going through at the various stages. It depends on your psych though.
Was your psych a recommendation from your surgeon/bariatrics team?

I'm almost 13 weeks out and down 75 lbs...and my big accomplishments so far are: doing my first 5k this past weekend (the Color Run, which we actually walked, but we still did it!) The goal for next summer in addition to the Color Run, is the Run for Your Life, Beast on the Bay (a 10-mile obstacle course) and hopefully a triathlon.
More personally, taking steps for surgery gave me the self-confidence necessary to go back to college...which is long overdue. And the big one: I'm able to shop for regular clothes now. I don't have to go into the plus section any more! I was so very excited to be able to buy an XL in regular activewear at Sears...I desperately needed some new workout clothes since my old ones are falling down I was so freaking happy about that!

I've cried at more than one of my psych appointments. But then, I continued seeing my therapist even after the mandated visit. Crying and being emotional is certainly permitted. They're trying to evaluate your mental state and fitness for surgery to make sure you'll be a successful candidate. Some psychs just rubber-stamp it (for lack of a better term), some are genuinely involved in the process and want you to be successful.
Part of my approval stemmed from being willing to continue to work through the process with my psychologist (and I do know I'm very lucky to have insurance that covers these visits) because I do credit at least part of my success to having someone who is very familiar with the process (most of her patients are bariatrics patients) and understands what I'm going through at the various stages. It depends on your psych though.
Was your psych a recommendation from your surgeon/bariatrics team?

My boobs are deflating right along with my belly. If they deflate much more, I'll be able to use my pants for a bra =P I'm still wearing most of the same bras...mostly because they were all too freaking tight for me pre-surgery. I should probably go get properly sized.