JustWatchMe

The Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce.

Mom Stalker (why I do this to myself I'll never know, but it's addicting)

There are just as many, if not way more, posts from successful banders. Long term too. I get daily encouragement and hope from these folks who rock their banded lives!! That said, I do read the complications threads. I just try to get as much info as I can and learn from them what I can. If I read about a symptom that later turned out to be a slip, maybe I could recognize it if it ever happened to me. Also, the complications threads are where I learned about the dangers of throwing up with the flu, the possibility of erosion when taking NSAIDS, etc. There's some useful stuff there. But the scary stuff hasn't dimmed my enthusiasm for my band a bit. I'm very happy and would do it again.

"OH MY GOD HE IS GOING TO SEE MONSTER CROTCH." This has made me laugh over and over again since I read it. I so get this. Matter of fact, now I have a new word in my head that I can't get rid of: Sascrotch.

"Also tracks my sleep and caller id." Calories? I read this and said hey!! I want that!!! Caller ID! Then realized I already have a FitBit One and nope, no caller ID. Lol!

I had a session with my divorce therapist last night. I see her monthly now. When I came home hungry for dinner, I was able to effortlessly stop eating a very delicious food when I felt the stop signal. Truly no effort. I realized in that moment that the therapy session met my emotional needs yesterday, so food didn't have to. Without the band I wouldn't have gotten a stop signal and would have eaten all the food in front of me. Complacency is my enemy. Well, one of my enemies. Service to others is a sure fire way to stave off complacency. Staying involved with other overeaters and WLS patients, both here and in my 12 step meetings, gives me focus outside of my own sometimes addled brain. My thinking is not always reliable. Sharing the good I've been given helps others and helps me by snapping me out of my destructive patterns. My session last night was about how I slide into fear mode in reaction to my husband's behavior or anticipated behavior. Did you get that? Anticipated behavior. I'm living/reacting/stressing over/in dread of what I'm guessing his next move is going to be. She asked me how long I've operated this way. Decades. I broke down and cried for the lost years of self and the lost years of growing as a person. Why was I content to be bullied and why was I content to accept a life that was so unsatisfying? Why was it enough to have food instead of a full life? It made me so profoundly sad to look at my behavior objectively, as an outsider does, as my therapist does. She kept drawing my attention to the fear reaction I was exhibiting. She pointed out that it's not necessary anymore. I'm not in the house with him anymore. My girls aren't either. But like Pavlov's dog, I still drool when the bell rings. All I know is that recovery from overeating and self destructive behavior is multifaceted. The band puts a physical stop signal in place for me and dims physical hunger appropriately. But woe is me if I think that's all I need. The issues beneath the eating are like an onion being peeled. This isn't news to any of us. We know "it's not what we are eating, it's what's eating us". But hearing it and nodding "yes" doesn't mean we've worked through it. I actually have to work through this stuff. I actually have to talk this over with a professional, understand what I've been doing and how it doesn't serve me, come up with better coping habits, and then do them. I've felt a certain way about myself most of my life. Many of those messages were wrong. F-ed up. They need to be undone and it's not as simple as sticking an affirmation on a mirror. It's daily work to replace the messages with new messages and new actions that reinforce the messages. It's work. It's hard. It's scary. I cried last night because I couldn't understand why I valued myself so little for so long. I look at my beautiful, strong daughters and think, if they ever treated themselves the way I treated myself, it would kill me. I can see their beauty, their goodness, their worth. Why can't I see mine? I think that as long as I stay on the path of recovery in all its forms I will not relapse. Part of that path for me is therapy and part is OA and CODA. With the 12-step programs I have the opportunity for service to others which keeps me working in a positive direction. That can be as simple as leading a meeting, or even just showing up faithfully. I see you ladies here leading BariatricPal support group meetings in your area. Same effect. Just like sharing here on the boards and keeping it real. An OA sponsor from years ago used to talk about the folks who would come into meetings and share their "happy hor$e$hit" for a few weeks, then disappear and you'd never hear from them again. Don't get me wrong. The uplifting posts are crucial and I do my share of them. But the real, raw stuff I share and read here is equally, if not more, necessary to my recovery. At some level a year ago when I started the WLS process, I knew this would exhaust every molecule of my being. And it wouldn't have an ending date. Because of the escalating emotional abuse turned toward my kids, I finally became ready for it. I'm sad I couldn't become ready for myself, but I did become ready. It's just as hard and raw and painful as I expected. But it's authentic. It's real. It's not the fake plastic life I lived before, under hundreds of pounds of self hate. It's all being stripped away and I can't stop now. I won't.

Have a friend do rapid karate chops on your neck and shoulder a few times a day. And walk walk walk.

Wow. That hurts just reading it. Godspeed to you tomorrow and take good care of yourself. Post when you can. ((Hugs))

I've had five fills, have 7.6 cc in my 14 cc band, and I'm in the green zone. I have always been able to chug a bottle of Water. Eating Protein first, yes, about a cup of food comfortably should be it. Don't eat between meals, and if you're in the green zone, you will stay satisfied for 4-5 hours between meals. If you're not snacking and you're getting hungry earlier than 4 hours, you may need a fill. If you're snacking, it doesn't apply because you're keeping your appetite revved up all day.

I battle the head hunger a lot. Going through a stressful divorce and missing my kids away at college (one in Europe). But this counseling thing is amazing. I had a therapy session today. I cried and got some worries out and got some good advice and then came home for supper. I picked up my favorite takeout meal. Dug in and started eating. And then with about a third of the food left, I felt a stop signal and ... stopped. It was effortless. I actually tossed the rest away because I was so surprised that I stopped so easily. I was afraid if I put it in the fridge I'd pull it out later. Point is, for me, my emotions are tied to my appetite more often than not. The miracle is that today I have a band that at least throws a stop signal out there for me. Prior to WLS I had no stop mechanism at all. I still have to hear the stop signal and then obey it. Today I was able to do that and I think it's because I had just come from a therapy session that met my emotional needs. So food didn't have to.

Omg Liz, you look fantastic! I can't wait to tuck in a blouse again.

When I get a fill, I bring and take two Arthritis Tylenol caplets during the fill. If I can swallow them, I'm good to go. I won't leave the office if I can't.

I won't argue with B-52's self analysis. But don't read what he said to mean that he doesn't work his tail off. He makes wise food choices (not eating garbage food) and he exercises every day while many of us (like me) are still in bed. He also resets his restriction every few weeks by voluntarily going on liquids briefly. He is a wise veteran who knows the band's limitations and how to make this lifestyle change stay successful for him. Bravo, Sir. You're a motivation to many.

I wrapped a regular towel around my body this week. It was wonderful. Not having to use those giant bath sheets will certainly save room in the washing machine.

Took a sick day today because I was in too much pain to return to work after my minor surgery Friday. Took my pain pills, slept some, read a book, let my mom cook me lunch, walked my dog. Had a doctor appointment with my PCP whom I haven't seen since June. "Hi there, Skinny!" Made my day. My cholesterol is normal without meds. Yay! He was very happy with my weight loss progress. It was easy to stay on my food plan today. 1060 calories. Some good stuff in the fridge for the coming week too. Two kinds of chicken and a pot of chili. I'm feeling better and will return to work tomorrow. Back to the stairs for exercise.

Congratulations !!

Hey, you're here and you're back to wanting it again! That's the start you need. Don't ever give up on yourself. The difference for all of us here is that even though we've tried and failed before, we now know that we have a wonderful tool that is just waiting to be used properly again. That and a supportive community of fellow travelers who know the deal. That and a doctor and a NUT who want your success. All that makes it different and a bump in the road. Stay connected here, keep posting, use the tools, and before you know it, that old enthusiasm will be back. Glad you posted. We all have ups and downs but the only failure is giving up. You got this!

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gorgeous!

Never give up on yourself!! Good for you for facing this. You can stop potential damage and get right to losing the weight right now. Consider the last few months a poor choice and a detour, but today is when it turns around. Call and make an appointment. Get in to see the doc and NUT asap. If you have Protein shakes sure, use them. No need to starve yourself. Replace a lousy food choice like fast fried food with a Protein shake today. Eat some lean protein at every meal first. Don't drink with your meal or for half an hour afterward. Your band needs to be checked out and you may get a strict menu from your doc, but listen to him or her and chalk it up to experience. Here's one thing I will say. When I was nineteen I thought I was indestructible. I abused my body and overate. I smoked. I never exercised. I became obese in my twenties and because I was always able to get up and do it again the next day I thought nothing of it. Well all the years of obesity and bad choices left me with shot knees, back disc problems, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, chronic bronchitis in winter, infertility, hemorrhoids, migraines and half a dozen prescription medicines and half a dozen OTC medicines just to get through each day. At 53 I got my LapBand. As you and I know, it doesn't do the work for us. But as you don't know yet BUT I DO, once you really commit to the banded lifestyle, it gets easier and the band does help you stick to good eating. Once you stick to good eating, the weight starts coming off. Once the weight starts coming off, you feel better. Once you feel better, you start to make other changes, like moving more. Once you move more, the weight comes off faster. Once the weight comes off faster, your self confidence increases. Once your self confidence increases, you begin to believe you are worth it. And once you believe you are worth it, you've made a lasting change. You can do this. You don't need to waste your twenties and thirties and forties. You have a LapBand and a supportive community here and a doc and a NUT who all want you to succeed. Take this step today and save your life. You are worth it. We will help.

I lost like crazy the first 7 months and then it came to a crawl. I have always used MyFitnessPal and have logged all my food and drink. I know I've added lots of calories and started to eat more carby foods than before. I was also weighing myself every day and once I wasn't losing quickly, that habit made me depressed. So first I went to weighing weekly. I also tried the 5:2 intermittent fast diet for awhile and that helped me start to lose again. I'm back to three meals a day every day now, but since weight loss is so slow, I know I need to add exercise. I hate exercise. I've been avoiding walking because it's been zero temps here in Chicago. So I added walking stairs at work. I walk the stairwell down to the basement and back up to the second floor for a total of twelve flights of stairs. Sounds like no big deal, but for me it's a big change. Little by little I am trying to make healthy changes. I know if I take a few favorite foods out of my meal plan and replace them with lean protein I can lose more. I have cut way down on some of the worst ones, like Thai panang noodle curry, and movie popcorn. I also had to face the fact that weekend wine was derailing my caloric goals. So it's all about choices. I'm trying not to fall into the all or nothing mentality that always led me to giving up before. I'll have my band forever. I'm losing weight and I have fifty more to go, but I will get there. Habits are hard to change but they can be changed. I'm back to losing slowly, but losing. It's progress. Hope this helps.

Congratulations !!!

Before surgery, never. Denial denial denial. After surgery, daily. I was euphoric when I was losing a pound a day. Then it started to depress me when I'd bounce or stay the same. So for the past several months I've weighed weekly. This is much better for my psyche. That's just me.

This post spoke to me. For me, the rawness and vulnerability I feel without being able to turn to food for comfort is sometimes almost unbearable. Excess food was the way I coped and kept my life going. It's not in my arsenal today. I'm divorcing and I'm so fearful, but I found that I just can't and won't return to the food. As a matter of fact, giving up the food was what I needed to do before I had the strength to leave my husband. I go to OA and CODA now, and it helps me tremendously. I knew I'd have a monumental change in personality and confidence after giving up the food. Yes, I am more scared than ever. But going through these trials without excess food is slowly building my new courageous muscles. The LapBand will help me keep my appetite under control and the weight from returning if I am vigilant. Everything else is up to me. But I needed to make that change so badly. My life was like a walking death. I believe these trials will be behind me one day, and I will be able to live with joy in a healthy body. I refuse to accept less.