Bergdorfblonde

Tabithan I feel your pain. I have been a really bad lap bander. I weighed myself 2 days ago and I weighed 255.5! That is at least 10 pounds more than when I had the lap band surgery! Am I the only one who GAINED WEIGHT with the lap band? I know its my fault because I know I eat too much. I initially lost 30 pounds with the lap band but now gained it back and then more. I am one of those people who takes on too much. I have been focusing too much on my career and on silly things that do not matter when in reality I should have been focusing on my lap band dieting. I've been on at least 10 diets since the lap band and I haven't been able to stick to them for that long. So now, 4 years after the surgery and at an all time high weight, I am finally using the band as it was intended. I am making up my own diet so I don't feel deprived. I am eating 6 mini meals per day at 200 calories each for a total of 1200 per day. I bought some all natural green coffee and saffron supplements at GNC to help with the hunger and gave up diet soda in favor of diet iced tea. I'm writing down everything I eat and my pounds lost. I've lost 6 pounds in the first 3 days and I am doing nothing this month but dieting and focusing on keeping to 1200 calories a day. I almost feel like I am a crack addict who is getting off crack and I need to put myself in food rehab for a month! This time, 4 years after the band, I am fully committed to finally losing the weight.

Occassionally, I run across a few posts from people like me who have failed their bands. But these posts are usually just a venting opportunity. I have failed my band - I acknowledge it - and it would be great if we could have a group of other "failures" who want to work together to become success stories.

MY STORY

I was banded in March of 2007. At the time I was 299 lbs. I am a 6ft tall lady. Today, I weigh 255, and basically just as big as I was when I got my band. I have got numerous fills and I usually eat through my fiils. I can eat whatever I want. I overeat and I am confident that I have caused my stomach to expand. I snack on candy, I eat the wrong foods - I eat until I am STUFFED. Sometimes when I overeat, I feel sick and gag to relieve the pressure.

I moved to Houston 4 months ago, and last week, I went in for a port-readjustment with Dr Alanis. It went well and I now have a new resolve to make it work. My doctor mentioned to me that about 40% of all bandsters fail. I do not want to be a failure. I have paid too much money to go through this.

MY GOAL FOR DECEMBER

• To write everything I eat down, including calories
  
• To stay within 1500 Calories.
  

What's your story? What's your goal? How can I support you? How can we support each other?

Misery loves company, and company can help us move from failure to success. Please join me by telling me your story, and your GOAL for December. Let's vent - but more importantly, let's talk about strategies to make this work - let's share and support each other - Let's turn this from failure to success.

I REFUSE TO BE A FAILURE

Fenton, I love men and love dogs! LOL Email me and we can go shopping and I will give you a head to toe makeover. I am on the Upper Eastside. I am in desparate need of some new trampy highlights so we can get coiffed together!! :wink2:

Hey, how come Bergdorf gets to compare guys to dogs, but if *I* try that, I get called a bastard!!!

Although I can see no possible comparison ever between dudes and dogs, I thought that was a great post. Hey! I live in NYC! Take me to your hairstylist! I think I'd look great with trampy highlights!

Get a new doctor who respects you. The lapband is a tool. If you dont really want to lose weight, it's not going to work. I wasnt losing any major weight before either. You need to limit your calories and be committed to not sabatoging it by eating foods that easily go down and have a lot of calories. Its really a mental thing, not a physical thing. If you can get committed to losing weight, go see another doctor, get a fill, and eat healthy food for about 1200 calories a day. You can do it. You have the band inside of you already. You just need to change your mental attitude. Think about the reasons why you keep overeating. Make a commitment to yourself and your new life and you will be successful.

I can eat just about anything. I had a fill once but I think he took it back out. Haven't been back to the DR in 18 months because his bedside manner was horrible. When I asked questions he answered by telling me to be quiet and let him be the Dr. I gave up. Didn't even tell anyone I had the surgery. I read of so many who had good experiences. I am thinking about trying another Dr and giving it a go again. Far as I know the band is still where it is suppose to be.

I bought size 14 jeans yesterday! I had to squeeze into them, but the fact that I put on a size 14 just blows my mind!!!!

I wish you lived in New York, cuz I would take you to my hairstylist, take you shopping for new clothes and give you dating tips! You are a beautiful girl. Sometimes, especially if you have never been thin ever, you still have the "fat girl mentality" that can prevent guys from seeing your beauty. There are girls who are 400 lbs who have men who drool over them and girls who are size 0 who act crazy and insecure and chase away the men. Just like dogs smell fear, men smell confidence. It is the key to being receptive to male attention and being able to flirt.

I say, go to the salon. Get a trendy haircut. Leave the length, guys love longer hair. Get some trampy highlights. Go shopping with a friend who knows how to dress well and buy some sexy clothes. Figure out what your best assets are (breasts, eyes, legs, whatever) and play them up and cover up the parts you are least proud of. Buy some self tanner and get a faux glow. Buy some jewlery that makes you feel pretty.

Next, practice flirting and talking with everyone you meet. I am not talking about throwing yourself at men. I am talking about making small talk with babies, dogs, old people, etc and smiling a lot. Then when your confidence in making small talk and flirting is up, move on to men. Work on your confidence level and know that you are no longer fat and that anyone would be lucky to be your friend/girlfriend. I hope this helps. Good luck babe:)

So preband/pre-weightloss I didn't receive much/if any male attention. Now that I have lost nearly 100lbs I have STILL NOT received much male attention. The only attention(flirting, compliments, etc.) I have gotten has been for males that are much older and not my type (one was 15 years older, divorced, had three kids, and lived with his mother..not my ideal guy).

I just don't really understand it. Preband, I chalked it up to being overweight. Now I don't have that excuse. Is it me? Am I not attractive enough? I know I still have some confidence issues, but I am so much more confident now than I was before. Am I not confident enough? Too confident? Intimidating?

Any tips/constructive comments would be great.

The standard rule is no soda and no straws. However, when my nutritionist was on maternity leave, I had an appt. I talked to the nurse who is in charge of my program and told her it sucks to not be able to occassionally chew gum, drink diet coke and use straws. She said I can do it. It's against the technical rules, but if you do it and are still having good weight loss, go for it! I burp more when I drink diet coke so I have to sip slower. When I go out, I like to have fresh breath, so gum is a MUST. I havent had a problem with these things.

Jason, do what works for you and don't compare yourself to anyone else. If what you are eating is making you lose weight, keep up the good work! I get depressed if I compare my slow weight loss to some of the other ppl who got banded in the same month as me. They eat like 600-800 cals a day and I have been eating 1200. My weight loss is not as rapid but its still coming off. Do what works for you babe:)

I prefer viactiv over Centrum. Do they taste like Godiva? No. But then again they are vitamins;)

I love the viactive chews. They taste like chocolate and are more of an incentive to take my Vitamins over the chewable orange flavored centrums. They are great. They are like 20 calories each but it is really not that much if you think of it as a treat. Its like eating a chocolate but its a Vitamin.< /p>

You fit into a bus seat where it would have been very tight before. Your panties are falling down under your skirt. Your jeans are falling off your tush. You get hit on by guys who wouldnt give you the time of day before. You can fit into "regular" sizes and vow never to step into Lane Bryant, Avenue, or any plus size section ever again. You try on jeans "for fun" just to see if you went down another size. You look at yourself in the mirror at Saks and cannot believe how small your waist is. You go shopping and see your own reflection in the window and dont recognize your body cuz you look half as wide as you used to be!

Why do thin people treat fat people like we are invisible? What are they so uncomfortable about? It's like, God forbid a fat person goes into Victoria's Secret to buy makeup. Is there a size you need to be to fit into a lipgloss? Its shameful. I think being fat is the last socially acceptable discrimination left. I am the same girl whether I am fat or thin and it seriously bugs me how people treat us differently based on a number on the scale.

I have to agree with the Victoria Secret thing. I went in to buy a gift for my sister. some lotion and a gift card. and couldnt get anyone to wait on me. It was not crouded and I felt like I had the plague how they avoided me. When I finaly got someones attention. The lady said to me before I could even tell her what I was looking for she said we dont carry your size. and walked away.

I was really worried about this too. My arms got huge before and now they look SOOOO much better! I was worried about the extra skin. I asked my friend's dad who is a doctor and he says pregnant women gain a lot of weight and their stomachs snap back in shape so so will my body.

My arms arent rock solid, but they look so much better than they did 37 pounds ago. I walked around yesterday in a tank top and looked really good. Its great watching my body fall back into shape. Ive lost all my backfat, my arms look much better, my friend got manis and pedis with me yesterday and told me that my legs are half the size they were the last time we got pedicures, my waist is defined, my butt is a lot smaller.

The only thing I hate is right away, my boobs deflated so they are very saggy now (something ive never experienced before). Also my underwear is hanging off my behind, so I think it is now time to buy some new bra and panty sets and get bras with the maximum lift.

It's such a great feeling to watch my body turning back into something I can be proud of and with each pound I get more comfortable in my own skin. You will love your new found confidence wearing tank tops and showing off your arms!! :frown:

To expose my upper arms? My shoulders and upper arms have not been sun-kissed in ..oh maybe 20 years.

I see lots of before and in-progress pics of people on this site with sleeveless tops, and you all look fine to me. But I look horrid/wretched/ awful/disgusting and otherwise lack a certain appeal wearing something that doesn't have at a minimum a 1/4 sleeve. Perhaps it is all in my head, but I just don't know that I can ever go anywhere in public without my upper arms covered...sleeveless T's or dresses or bathing suits in public just don't seem possible.

Assuming that I reach a comfortable body weight, and can wear clothing not made by the local tentmaker, will I ever wear something sleeveless?

I hate to say this to you because I know I am encouraging you in the wrong direction. But it is your birthday. One night is not going to kill your diet. Just put the fill off till the day after your birthday and have a good time. Dont overeat just to eat, but eat small portions of junky food because it is your b-day and then the next day go back on plan. We are not perfect people and honestly, we all fall off the wagon once in a while. When I do eat a lot, I dont regret it, cuz I am dieting 80% of the time and when I do that, I keep trending down. Celebrate on your b-day and have a good time (not because you are gorging yourself, but because you are eating small portions of exactly what you want) and focus on the fun and being with friends and family and the games and let the food be an afterthought. Enjoy life;) :thumbup:

I love my band, let me just say that. I've lost 70 pounds so far, but got an unfill 4 weeks ago due to being too tight. I was going to go back after a couple of weeks, but I got sidetracked with some personal issues that took all my free time.

Now I'm free to go back but I've fallen into the basic fat person's mentality. My birthday is soon and we're planning a trip to Dave and Buster's and I'm not getting a fill because I want to eat and drink that night without pb'ing or restricting my intake.

And, God. I hate how that looks as I write it down.

I feel like I have the angel on one shoulder saying, "Go get the fill...you've had plenty of birthdays" and the devil on the other going, "It's just another week...what's a week?"

I'm doing WW with my daughter and I keep creeping up in weight. I've gained one pound every week since going, but I wasn't worried because I'll be getting a fill soon.

But I feel like a fake, and on top of that, I feel like a failure.

And, THOSE feelings propel me further into eating! I can't win when I'm fighting me.

Help!? Fill NOW (Okay, Monday since Doc doesn't do fills on Fridays or weekends.) Or wait until after the 18th?

I was doing really great at dieting after the band for a while, but then I had stressors that made me plateau and I found it really hard to lose more weight.

Now I have a new boyfriend and when I am with him, I don't want to overeat at all. Not because I care what he thinks of me eating, but I feel like the love is so powerful that all I can think about is making out with him.

So when we go out to dinner, I will order Soup and salad and eat about 1/4 of both. I have been dropping weight like crazy since I started going out with him, totally unintentionally. New love is a great way to break a plateau.:thumbup:

My ex thought it was a compliment to say he would love to marry me AFTER i lost 80 pounds. He kept saying it over and over as a joke and the amt of weight i needed to lose before he married me went higher and higher.

It really hurt my feelings and felt he was putting me down. Am I that unlovable just because I am thinner or fatter? Do I even have a personality or heart or intelligence that makes me worthy of love, regardless of my weight?

SO now I only lost 37 pounds so far, but look a lot hotter than I was. I got a new boyfriend who is 10 times better looking than my ex. My ex is so jealous now and doesnt understand why I dont want to be with him and is mad that the whole western world is hitting on me now. I guess he should be careful what he wishes for!!

I just hit the 35 pound mark! Go small losers. Hooray:)

I dont regret it. Although my weight loss isn't incredible yet, I feel so much better about myself. I hate the scars on my stomach, but feel like this could be a very good way of not gaining back weight after dieting. Ive lost over 30 pounds so far and it i such a great feeling!

I think a lot of us gained weight in bad relationships. The thing is, you are the same girl you were 80 pounds ago. Your are just as pretty, just as smart, just as cool and have the same personality. Yes, your jeans might have a plus size tag inside, but you are still you. And you are a special girl no matter what you weigh.

There will always be ppl who weigh more than you and ppl who weigh less. Dont put off life or dating until you lose weight. Lose weight, it will make you feel good. But start loving yourself and treating yourself like a creature unlike any other right this second. Go buy some clothes that fit you, some cute jewelry, a new bag, get a trendy haircut, put on some makeup and get manis and pedis.

You are gorgeous and special right now, this second without losing a pound. Then, as you start loving yourself and becoming more confident, the weight will come off. Believe me. I only lost 32 pounds so far and there is such a difference in my self esteem. I am not thin by any stretch of the imagination. But I loved myself 32 pounds ago and thought I was the same gorgeous, cool, interesting girl that I am.

Love yourself and treat yourself like gold this very second! Honestly I am getting more men then I was 32 pounds ago, but I dated plenty back then too. Plenty of guys love curvy women. Just get out there and live life to the fullest again:)

yea the whole dating thing is hard. i recently broke up with my long term bf and i got very heavy while i was with him. i gained about 80lbs total in a year and a half. now that i broke up with him i feel like no one will want me because i am at the heavyest i have ever been. and i feel uncomfortable in my body. i feel like i'm putting my love life on hold until i lose all the weight. i'm afraid of being hurt and i honestly feel like no one will want me while i look this way.

Hey Allison,

You are so lucky you have your whole life ahead of you! If you follow your passion and do what you love, it will seem like fun rather than work and there is no way you can't be successful! :thumbdown: I live in NYC. I worked in law for years and hated it! Now I do beauty and fashion writing for magazines and started my own public relations firm. I am following my passion and it is paying off bigtime.

When I was doing law, I was trying to please my parents and other people who thought that was a successful career. The thing is, if you aren't passionate about what you do, you can still do it but you will be mediocre at best. It's much better to do exactly what you love. :frown:

When I was your age, I knew I was smart and talented but didn't know exactly what to do for a career. I interned at a tv talk show and for MTV and had the best time ever! In my 20's I tried out different jobs and by my late 20's I realized exactly what I love to do.

If you do what you love, the money will come. And the men will come too as they love women who are more than a pretty face and have something interesting to bring to the table. I am currently dating an anchorman and a surgeon and you would never believe they would date someone who is my weight. But I am so much more than my weight and as I get thinner my self esteem only grows. Follow your passion and live your dreams!! :huh2:

Hey bergdorfblonde, thanks for all the insight, your success is really an inspiration. I'm kind of in a rut right now with school, work, money (I have none lol), where I live (mom and dads:bored:), even in the past couple weeks my love life seems to be going down the tubes, I guess I just need to look at the bright side of things. You mentioned you love your career, what do you do? And where are you from? just curious :thumbs_down:

Allison

I too am overweight because of a bad relationship. I struggled with my weight my whole life, always dieting up and down but I never got really overweight until I was in a bad relationship for 3 years. He put me down a lot under the guise of caring about me and when someone talks down to you all the time, it chips away like a chisel at your self esteem. I also started wearing sweatpants all the time, no makeup, hair in a bun or ponytail. I didnt want to admit that I was into plus size clothes, so for a while all I bought was sweatpants and looked icky. The thing is, when someone puts you down, you don't feel beautiful and you don't want to put effort into your appearance. Also, I wasnt fulfilled in my career.

So having a sucky relationship and a sucky career made me feel horrible and I turned to overeating for comfort. Now I realize, you can't live your life for others, you have to live your life for you. You need to treasure yourself and whoever doesnt speak nicely to you, you need to stick up for yourself and get all of the people who "suck your soul" out of your life!

5 years later, I am trying to get back to who I was before I met my ex (cuz I was a really cool girl!) and it is working. I am doing a career I love, I bought a new apartment and a fancy car and am dating hot guys now who treat me well. And I am taking control of my weight. Only you determine how others treat you. Love yourself and don't tolerate bad treatment from guys!!

i have never had a short relationship. i didn't get my first boyfriend until i was 12 and at the time i thought that was forever.... but it isn't i know allot of people who didn't date until they were in their twenties. my last boyfriend is the reason why i am as over weight. he used this weird way of complimenting me when i looked my worse so that i never dressed up. he would say that i looked cheap. so for a year and a half i lived in sweatpants and t-shirts, hair in a ponytail with no makeup. it was aweful. he had this way of making me feel special but like he was the only one who would ever make me feel that way then he would be hateful. so i stayed with him as long as i did cause i didn't think i could do better. i now have been with a new guy for almost two years and he is perfect. he is so attractive and built! he is sweet and hard working he doesn't talk allot but when he does he means what he says and its always nice. he never says hateful things and he always makes me feel like i could do anything. i am who i am today because he has made me feel like i am worth being who i want to be.

You are gorgeous and the pics will look great!! You know what I love about your profile pics? Its not that you went from fat to thin. It's the amount of confidence in your face. You can tell you are super confident now. I am so happy for you!!

haha Lana. On a serious note, I was thinking about getting one too. I would love to go to a store and try it out first. Do you think the home ones are as effective as the commercial ones? The real vibration platforms cost thousands of dollars but they sell some at Walmart for around $300. I wonder if they vibrate less. Also, I wonder if the vibration machine really makes you lose weight. It seems too good to be true, that you just stand on it and lose weight. I guess I should go try one.

Was thinking of getting the vibra machine, it is a vibrating plateform. Stood on one the other day and vibrates your whole body. Anyone had good results with it?:sneaky:

I have been seeing a new guy and the other night he touched my big scar and said "What's that?" I told him I had gallbladder surgery. My friend had gallbladder surgery and has the same laproscopic scars that bandsters have. I like saying this because its very self explanatory and you don't have to deal with the barrage of follow up questions and judgements.

It's so true. I am a very confident girl, whether fat or thin, and I've been both. When you are thin, you see how some thin ppl treat fat people and many of them mock fat people and totally discount us regardless of how cool we are.

You can have the best self esteem in the world. If a person hates fat people, it won't matter what kind of job you do or what kind of person you are. It's like racists & homophobes don't recognize the accomplishments of people they hate, even if they are Oprah Winfrey or Calvin Klein.

Its good to have high self esteem, and when the haters treat you badly, just ignore them and realize that they must be really unhappy in their own lives to spend their energy on hating others.

you can have all the confidence in the world, but if they don't want to hire you, there is nothing you can do to change thier minds. currently i work in a field, actually i was orginally hired as a "girl friday" (basically office help), where i see many business owners who did not hire me. and now that i am saving the company at least $30,000 in payroll alone(by doing the job of more than one person), i hope they are kicking themselves.

confidence can be an awesome tool, but confidence doesn't change one's perception if they have a discrimination against anything. do you seriously think that a confident black man in 1950 stood a chance against a white man?!?

I would love to lose 100 pounds at hit goal overnight. However, it's not gonna happen. But I've lost 32 pounds and have seen so much progress. The people in the fitting room yesterday were probably laughing at me because I couldn't stop checking out my body in the mirror (and I am not skinny yet!) but they don't know that I was a size 26 jeans and a 2x top, and now I have said goodbye to plus sizes for good and am in amazement that I fit into size 16 jeans and a L top. My body looks half the size it used to be. It is truly amazing to me. I don't think I could lift 32 pounds. That's how much I lost from my own body! It is coming off slowly (6 mos) but that doesn't bother me. You know how its hard to tell that you are losing weight, cuz although you see the scale going down, you look in the mirror and think you look the same? Being in regular sized clothes, there is no denying that I made my body totally different! I could mope in the mirror, how come I'm not 134 yet, but that would be unproductive. Plus, if I felt sexy and pretty at 242, I think I am way hotter now! My next goal is size 14 jeans. Just break up your 100+ pound weight loss into small, reachable goals and you will amaze yourself with what you can accomplish. It's fun trying on clothes and discovering your size keeps getting smaller and smaller.