j_war06

lol! Im definately not looking for something serious right now...Well I wasnt when I found this last jerk either, it felt almost forced (notice felt, as far as the intial start of the relationship). He just spent the night one night, and never left lol! I dont want anything serious for a long time. I like to date, but I dont want a REAL boyfriend or anything I have to committ to for a while, Ive got enough going on, I dont need that.

I can understand where you're coming from. I have trust issues also. Thank heavens that I found a guy that is willing to work with me on them. Wish me luck. I thought it had something to do with drugs. I come from a Law Enforcement family and a criminal is a criminal. Just like is Barack Obama Black enough? I don't vote based on color or gender. I vote based on issues. It tees me off to no end when I hear people ask that about him. My family is from New Orleans. I refuse to allow someone to compare the fires in California to them. They had money in CA and have a better state government. I am pro-life for myself, pro-choice for others. I'm learning how to shoot a gun and I believe in the death penalty as long as it's applied proportionately. Yet, I cry when I see the news that someone was murdered or abused. It's who I am. Age really does mellow you out. Except for my friend Kim. LOL

Yes the Byrd case is tragic, his mother is a sweet sweet lady! I love her to death. I REALLY thought I had found a guy willing to work with my trust issues, but I guess I didnt, he just used me like everyone else. I get so mad at people who vote based on color, gender, or ONE issue. You gotta think about the whole picture. SURE Presidential candidate "Bob" will allow gay marriages, but he is also going to raise taxes, pull funding from the schools, and completely deport anyone who doesnt speak english fluently (COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL AND EXTREME). LOL But people will still vote for that. I dont like Obama, just not my cup of tea, and I have an EXTREME dislike for the Clintons all together, I will never vote for Hillary. Plus Im just not supportive of their issues all together, its just me. I dont like it when people strictly vote R or D.

Oh my lol, Ive been shooting guns since I can remember lol! The only reason my ex is still alive is because my old roomie wouldnt let me have any weapons, and I couldnt have weapons at my old dorm. I did get defensive the night he tried to choke me, I somehow man-handled him and pushed some pressure point or something that made him go back to sleep. I know how you feel about the New Orleans thing, I cant imagine. I survived Rita, which was a gust compared to Katrina, and hated every moment of it! The fires are not comparable to these disasters at all.

Compassion, empathy, and politeness have nothing at all with being taken for a ride and used by others. These are two different issues.

Thats just it, every time Ive shown all these things to someone, they use me and walk out of my life.

No one said anything about free speech and please believe that I am so much better than Al or Jesse. I'm guessing you're from Jasper? Unlike you, I understand that a town can't be blamed for a few of its resident's actions. When did I comment on slavery? I didn't ask for reparations and I don't do handouts hon. That word does not and has never defined who I am. I am Sharee. A strong, independent, Black woman that is in college to better herself. You need to calm down. I'm sure that all of your anger isn't good for your baby. Unbeknownst to you, most Black people are quite conservative. I am on the Bill Cosby side of things. Stop having babies out of wedlock and do something for yourselves. The "Man" is not keeping you down. Please don't lump me in with everyone else. I believe that racism exists in all races. Blacks are harder on one another than they are on anyone else. Which is why I would prefer that we stopped using the word to let other races know that it's unacceptable. Just because it's on BET, doesn't mean that it represents all of us. You mentioned debate earlier, yet insult me by comparing me to Jesse and Al? Completely and utterly laughable.

You are right, that black people are hard on one another. The guys make fun of one another for not being (or acting) black enough, but many of them want the lightest skinned girl they can find. And it goes much further than that. Im not an angry person, I know that my posts look like it, but if you actually heard me say these things, you would hear me say them in a mild manner tone. Debate is about comparisons. There have been other comments on slavery and about the history of the word, thats why I threw that in there. But I dont find it offensive when people make fun of my heritage either jokingly or seriously. What happened happened. Take it for what it is. Someone running their mouth. And go on with it. Only ONE of the guys that committed that horrendous crime was from Jasper, the other 2 involved were not residents. The man they killed did not pay them for the drugs they had given him. He did not deserve to die by any means, no one deserves to be murdered, especially like that. However, that kind of violence happens ALL THE TIME, but because 3 white people did it to a black man it was everywhere....No one cared when 3 black men drug a white guy (with an issue not dealing with drugs). I dont even believe the black men recieved the death penalty either. The James Byrd case goes very deep, I know things that most do not because Ive seen the case files (I used to work in the district clerk's office). They did not randomly pick up this black man and kill him. It wasnt a hate crime, however a crime nonetheless. I hated the way Jasper was portrayed in the media. I still get funny looks and horrible comments when I go somewhere outside of the area. But I get over it and dismiss them as idiots because they dont know the true story.

IDK why, but I fit in with the gay community better than anywhere else....LOL Im the first VIP at the gay club in Corpus Christi who is a straight REAL girl! lol! I love you guys, you embrace and welcome all (well as long as their outfits matches, *kidding*)<joke with one of my friends> anyways, glad to meet you all

"...compassion and empathy" and politeness towards others are fundamental to any civilized society.

Ya know, I tried that when I first went to college....lets see, one guy owes me $1000 or more really. My old neighbor owes me $40 plus a lot more. My other neighbors turned against me over the $40 issue. Then it was all good. Then I met a horrible guy who I felt sorry for, so I let him live in MY apartment, ride around in MY car, and use MY gas and apparantly he got a hold of my credit card! Yeah I used empathy, I put myself in all of these people's positions and was like, well I would want someone to help me....I never reaped any benefits other than all of them walking out on me whenever I had nothing left to give. I was actually HOMELESS because I helped too many people! The world is nothing but a bunch of users that apparantly want to take everything I have! Im sick of it! Im still paying bills, and will be paying them for a long time because of these people! You REALLY think that I havent learned my lesson after losing tons of money, and being forced to move back to my hometown (which I HATE!!) from a place that I loved, because I was too empathetic. Im tired of being used. People have used me all my life, and I've put a stop to it....amazing how little friends I have left....

First of all NO ONE owns a word...my friends are not ignorant, they know everything there is to know about the word, therefore they can not be ignorant. I dont see why you would let one little word control your life. Your no better than Al or Jesse, really. They are idiots, I hated it when they were here. They made all of us look like idiot rednecks, thank God for the documentary my class made to correct their wrongs to the state of Texas atleast. For someone to get their feelings hurt over one little slur is absolutely ridiculous, its being overly sensitive and out of the bounds of reasonableness. What your saying is that my whole town is ignorant just because WE ALL GET ALONG (well for the most part), mostly the younger generations. We dont see color when we look at a person or go somewhere, just the goal. I go to the black parts of town all the time. Ive never had anyone get mad at me in my hometown for using the word. Now in Corpus Christi its different, I knew it would be, and I didnt use it as much. Plus most of the people there use it negatively anyway when they do use it. ALLOW PEOPLE TO EXERCISE THEIR FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Stop censoring them! If you get your feelings hurt, you need to learn not to. Black people werent the only people who were enslaved in America! They arent the only ones in history that have ever been enslaved! The evil white people didnt just go to Africa and pick up some black people, their tribes sold them out...what happened, happened, it was wrong, but its real, it was there, and some of us white people lost family in the fight for the freedom. It wasnt good times at all. Get over the past, learn from it and live in the PRESENT, to make a BETTER future!

Okay as far as seeing someone new, I have been seeing them (not dating, not anything serious). We've had a thing for a long time, its just we are both single now. It wont go anywhere because I dont want it to, and I cant trust him to seriously date him, but its fun while it lasts right?

Well, you're honest at least re: your smoking. WABB, if she has cut down a bunch, will it affect the baby? I wish you wouldn't feel ashamed, Jodie. Have you gotten specific counseling regarding the sexual assault? Because you need it, Kid. See..I have lived in a middle-sized town so long I forget what it's like to live in a real small one though I was raised in one. All I can tell you is secrets like this are no good for you. I understand why you're not telling but keeping them is unfun when it's something as important as this. There's a reason you're not telling your mother. What is it?

I havent sought counseling because I just really dont like to verbally think about it. I wont tell my mom because Ive already messed up SO many times this year, allowing myself to be raped doesnt need to be added to her plate. Plus I KNOW she will want to go to law enforcement about it (statute of limitations last for 5 years on rape, although if its not reported immediately usually nothing happens). I really need to go talk to my therapist, but Ive got to work 3 whole days to have that much money until I start my new job. Had the rape happened in CC, I would have reported it immediately. But I knew the guy (most of my life) and he's family with the guy that Im seeing right now, and I dont want that to get out of control. THE IDIOT invited me to his birthday party tonight! I was like, "are you serious?" I would NEVER Celebrate your life! The poor guy that Im seeing doesnt know ANYTHING, he just thinks Im being mean....but I think his brother has an idea that something bad happened because he kind of saved me that night. I bit the guy that raped me and put up such a fight, he threw my keys to my car out somewhere and then dumped me out at my guy's house. My guy's brother (my best friend's boyfriend) helped me find them. I still play it over and over in my head and question if it was rape, but everytime I come up with yes, I said "no" I cried and said it and I screamed it....even if I hadnt been drinking at all it would have happened. Im just so embarassed I dont want to tell anyone I know in real life...

LOL! Wow we all prob need to go to bed, we are WAY off-topic! lol

OMG!!! I FOUND MY PEOPLE!!! LOL! Im not gay, Im very straight actually, however I seem to be attracted to the gay scene and I loves it! lol! Im so excited I found you guys, but if you dont want me in here because it is kind of secluded its cool lol! Im just excited that yall are here!

lol! let me tell you my stupid story....

So I was using True.com to meet someone, well...I DID! A great guy, good-looking, tall, sweet. But After 2 dates I ran off and started dating my ex-fiance!! I wonder what life would have been like had I stayed with the other guy. He was so nice it scared me, especially since I met him on the internet. Im really paranoid about all that. I cant believe I let that hinder me! I mean, I left a great guy for a visible a-hole!

Im a smoker too Im 20 and wish I had never started. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO classic, always said that I could quit whenever I wanted lol! HOW FOOLISH? Now Im pregnant, trying to stop, but its SOOOOO FREAKIN HARD! I definately have cut down A LOT! But Im still working on actually quitting, and once I do, thats it, Im not picking it up again.

I didnt report my rape, because I knew that I could never be kept safe from gang activity if I did, I knew that one way or the other I would wind up dead, and Im not ready to die. I figured it was better to keep it a secret, and I have for months. Im dying to tell my mother, but I just cant...Im really ashamed of it. Not to mention I didnt want it to hit the small town news and my name be plastered EVERYWHERE as a rape victim. I think its just better to keep it all hush hush for now. Maybe in the future I can tell my family.

lol and Im with you guys on the gay issue. I have a lot of gay friends (I mean A LOT)! And they are all SOOOO different. There are some no one would ever know was gay, some that people know but know not to mess with, and some Im just waiting to spontaneously combust because they are so stereotypically gay lol! All I know is that straight guys could take a few lessons from the gays, especially in fighting...I know that Im not going to mess with ANY man that can wear stilettos and DANCE in them! lol that is one BAD mofo!

Sorry, I had to leave real quick. Now I'll respond: You're absolutely right. I would definitely have to walk in the victim's shoes to get the whole perspective. I can only speak from my perspective obviously and I should have taken that into consideration before posting. There are some real winner situations on the other side of the spectrum that I have encountered and witnessed over the years that makes me biased to say the least!!!!! And...of course, there's the fact that my husband and son-in-law are both cops and good ones...so yes, I admit I'm biased. I just get kind of defensive (I probably shouldn't but it's in my nature..!!..it's something I'm constantly working on!!!) when the cops are all lumped together and believe me, at times, they do get an unfair rap...just like any other occupation, there's the good ones and the bad ones!!

I understand, and Im sorry that I lumped them together like that, but I have lived in a town and a city, and nothing seems to change. I have a couple of friends that are GOOD COPS. But most of what I have experienced has been completely unhelpful. I mean, one cop left me stranded in downtown Corpus Christi with a visibly messed up man who had just broken the door on my car and put dents in top of it, as well as jacked up a friend of his for no reason. I TOLD the cop what was going on, BEGGED him to help me get gas and get it to my car and help me out with HIM, but he just dismissed me and drove off. I guess he thought I was crazy or drunk or something! IDK? But I was finally rescued by a friend of mine. And ofcourse HE had to come with, and almost killed us trying to light a cig in a car with gas fumes in it!

Awesome! I cant wait! Ill try to get there monday!

YES YES YES!!!!!!!! The cheaper they are the more they care about their patients. It makes NO difference that they have to pay $2K for the band, if they will band you for $100 they care about you MORE.

GO THERE!

Some docs make their own bands in their garage. They are superior to the other bands, go there fer sure!

YAY! Im so excited that I got your approval because going on the internet and getting advice instead of consulting a doctor as well is always a better and cheaper idea! Now I have to find someone to do the fills. How do they get it in there? Im afraid of needles!

Im still unsure thought...my friend got her band from a fancy doctor that her insurance paid for and she cant even eat burgers! Or frenchfries! or fried chicken? And she only eats 2 times a day and hasnt had a little debbie in months! IDK if I can handle that, I thought it was suppose to make you skinny no matter what? And you drop like 100lbs in a month!

How exactly would your ex be liable for something the police did or didn't do?

Im sorry I was short with that answer because I wanted to finish typing, but I had to run out of the room...

What I meant was the case against my ex is going to lead to the case with the police (which I may or may not bring about due to time, money, and I wasnt seriously injured. But Im still considering it, its the future lawyer in me lol)

Im filing as many torts against my ex as humanly possible along with the child support hearing ofcourse. So far Ive got a pile! Im just want to send him back to jail (he will never pay, all those warrants will put you in jail) so that I know where to find him. And I want to teach him a lesson, that Im not the push-over he thought I was.

Oh, I didn't now it was coming up in court. Civil or criminal?

Civil, its going with the torts Im pressing against my ex

Ah, see though...you're lumping them altogether. Remember one must always keep an open mind. That's how we grow intellectually and emotionally. I know plenty...in fact the majority (including my husband)... have never done any of the above. Like anything else, we only hear about the bad ones...too bad, huh?

Well thats how useful the law enforcement is here. Trust me, in my crazy days I was right there with them. Ive seen them leave a party and get in the cop car and go right back on duty. I just think they pick and choose who they are going to help and it has to do with these 2 questions 1.) do I HAVE to? and 2.)How easy is the paperwork?

And, see, these are situations where you could have taken the bull by the horn, so to speak. You should have complained to the applicable internal affairs unit. If you got nowhere there, you should have gone to the chief of police, then the city manager and then the mayor and if all those venues failed you then, given the severity of what they did to you or what they didn't do for you, these would have made juicy stories for the news media. Never again, endure that kind of treatment now that you know what to action to take. I can tell you from our police department, people only got as far as internal affairs before something was done about the bad behavior. Further, law enforcement is so cognizant and wary of lawsuits (you probably already know that though given your education) in this time in our lives, that you could have or maybe still could get a huge sum of money because of their blatant neglect!

Oh its all coming up in court. Ive been working on the cases since September. And you bet that the A&M police will be royally screwed if ANYTHING happens to any of my friends that my ex knows that live on campus, because I called and reported that he was living there illegally (against my best judgment, as far as finding him again goes) and what had happened to me...they called me a jealous ex-girlfriend and dismissed me!! I swear if anything happens to any of my friends they will have EVERYTHING thrown at them! Not to mention that I was in trouble for letting someone that didnt live on campus just keep their stuff in my room, they never lived there with me, and almost lost my housing...but he and she get to live there all happily ever-after? I called the CC police with a tip on a possible burglary of a business that he had disclosed that he took part in, and they treated me the same way. They are going to be in BIG BIG trouble once all of this plays out.

Well, you certainly have had more than your fair share of negative experiences with the police. No doubt about that. But see....I worked in law enforcement for thirty years and most of the time this is not true. It's unfortunate you have no faith in law enforcement since you're going to be an attorney someday. It could be a real plus for you whether you're a defense or prosecuting attorney if you developed a good relationship with them. No matter what side you're on, they can be of immense help to you in putting your cases together.

LOL Im not going to be that kind of lawyer. Im going to work in government and politics. Its cut-throat. I like it. The law has never done anything positive (or negative) for me besides not giving me an MIP at a party (because I was pregnant and passed a pen test) and many have passed me up for speeding tickets, or busted a party I was at and just told us to keep it down or the classic "no one leaves". Other than that, when I really needed them, they have done nothing! All they want to do is drive around in their shiny new Chargers and look cool, and make smart-elic remarks. Besides cheating on their wives, abandoning their children, and using/selling the illegal drugs they confinscate.

LOL this is crazy??

BTW: is it better to get the band in Mexico or the states? My insurance won't cover the band, and theres this great surgeon that NO ONE has heard of in Mexico that says he will do it for $100 dollars! Is it a good idea?

I am getting old. Refresh my memory ...what things happen? If you're saying illegall things happen, of course, they do. That's why we have law enforcement...

And how well did law enforcement do with O.J. Simpson? And how well did law enforcement do when the cops finally got called on my ex? And how well were they doing everytime they saw him on the sidewalk outside of a bar visibly intoxicated and possibly drugged up, but left him there? How well did the law enforcement do when he attempted a break in at the club I used to work at? How well would the law have done to prevent a gang from hurting me had I filed my rape? How well did they do the night I ran out of gas and BEGGED them for assistance, and they did nothing? What about the time a lady ran over me at the gas pumps of wal*mart and a police officer drove by at the exact moment it happened? I dont put much faith in them.

Well, you're the one who said you were cold and heartless. I'm just going by what you say; it's not my conclusion of you. Like you said, we don't know each other. Again, if you don't know why human kindness is important, I can't begin to explain it to you. This is something one usually learns from birth on. If you didn't, it's near impossible for you to get it. Not all people who you don't know want to judge you. In fact, I would venture to say, most don't care. I guess I'm thinking you're insecure not only because of your posts here but your relationship with the baby's father. If he was abusing you the way you say he was, if you thought as much about yourself as you say you do, you would have hightailed it out of there the first time he forced you to have unprotected sex. There's no way you can have good self-esteem and endure what you did in that relationship. From your own words, it was an absolute horror story; no matter how you want to justify staying, you had complete control over your actions and you CHOSE not to leave. Because if you held yourself in high regard, nothing would have kept you there. Nothing. See..you're not a victim in this situation. You are an accomplice since you didn't do anything about it. It's just as much your fault as it is his if you want to place blame.

So you wanted me to leave my own apartment? Because he sure wasnt. And whens the last time you woke up with a full grown man choking the life out of you. You wouldnt want to risk calling the police either. I couldnt just leave...where would I have gone? I should have done something sooner than I did, but regardless my self-confidence is normal. Coming from a small town, everyone judges everyone else, its entertainment when there is none.

And slavery was LEGAL when it occured, and all that happened with it was also LEGAL. There is absolutely no comparison between slavery and an internship. First of all, interns are willing workers. They may not be getting paid in money (some are, though), but they are paid in experience and networking contacts. Secondly, forcing someone to work agains their will or be assaulted physically, sexually, or mentally in an internship is illegal. Third, an intern can leave whenever he/she wants to leave. The employer can't take out a warrant on them or call them a "runaway intern." Absolutely no comparisons between the two practices.

Oh but there is according to the definition a few pages back. Im not talking about what was legal then, Im talking about what is legal NOW. You said those things "Can't" happen. When they can, whether it is or isnt legal actually. Those things can happen.

oh, good lord. if someone is FORCING you to be an intern against your will, which is an outlandish idea, (i.e. holding you somewhere you don't want to be) have 'em arrested because this is not what an internship is. again, we're talking free choice here. no matter how you want to word it, your analogy totally lacks credence.

I was making a point that it IS possible to be abused, harassed, raped, etc at an internship or at a job....that it CAN happen. And you just gave the simplified definition of false imprisonment. I DONT WANT to do my internship for free, I want to get paid. LIKE I SAID, Im not saying that an internship=slavery, Im giving a mental picture according to the previous description of slavery given.

Weren't any of you on the debate team, ever been to a debate, watched a debate, participated in a debate, or anything of that matter?