I did it! I did it! During my initial appointment with the surgeon in July, he stated that I needed to lose another 15 lbs prior to surgery. My Pre-op appointment with him was yesterday. I've 16 lbs since my appointment with him in July, and I've been greenlighted for surgery next week. Yes, a week. I'm now at 7 days and counting. My nerves are a bundle, and my excitement is off the chart.
I have lost over 30 lbs since my birthday at the end of MAY (in 3 months' time). That is crazy. No other attempt to lose weight has been this 1) consistent or 2) successful. I'm fitting back into my dress clothes that I bought last summer when I returned from working in Central America. Still need to drop another 50 lbs to be pre-knee injury/surgery weight... but I'm getting there. I now have less than 200 lbs before I hit my goal.
Sorry, my thoughts are not cohesive today. Lots of things on my mind. I start my all liquid/no solids consumption tomorrow.
To do pre-surgery list:
1) start all liquids (8/22)
2) do final blood draw (8/22-8/25)
3) pre-registration call with the hospital (8/26)
4) final pre-op nurse check-in/weigh-in (8/26)
5) get my POA documentation signed/notarized/filed (8/26)
6) review/go through 24 hour pre-op checklist (8/27)
7) pack for hospital stay (8/27)
8) stop all liquids by midnight (8/27)
9) show up to hospital (8/28)
My leave of absence from work has been handled. My work is being temporarily transitioned to a co-worker while I'm gone... my nephew will be taking care of the house/dog/cat while I'm gone. I should see if my trainer will get a pic of me tonight when I go workout. That would be fun to see a difference, even from a few weeks ago.
Waiting it the worst... patience is not my forte... sigh.
It's not getting much easier. I'm sticking with the diet changes that I'm supposed to make, but they are not easy! Sometimes I just want a sandwich! Or a bowl of cereal. That used to be a great, easy dinner when I didn't feel like cooking. We've been eating eggs a lot lately. When I make them over medium (with the yolk still runny), I just want a piece of white bread to sop up that yolk! It's the best thing in the world when you can't have it. I can do without pasta - except for Aunt Faye's mac & cheese that I only get on holidays. That's my only pasta vice. I will have a bite (or 3) of that at Christmas time - no matter what. Hopefully by then I'll have had surgery and be well enough to be ok with the occasional treat. Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning my cheats even before I get my surgery date. There are so many things that I shouldn't have that I can absolutely see myself never wanting again. And I am ok with that. I would be totally satisfied if I never had spaghetti noodles with my meatballs & sauce again. Like I said, pasta isn't a big thing for me, unless you put a pan of Aunt Faye's mac & cheese in front of me... I would be completely happy to never have white bread again - I'll be just as happy with some yummy whole grain ONCE IN A WHILE. There are too many sugar free options for me to worry about every having sugar again, no worries there. Rice - eh - not a big deal to me. I would like to be able to have some really good sushi again, but I'm sure my sleeve will only allow so much. I'm ok with that. I'll just make sure that I have the best quality to make up for the quantity. Potatoes aren't that big of a deal for me either. Who doesn't love a nice baked potato or yummy garlic mashed potatoes, but I'd much rather have that filet. I can make those choices and not feel deprived. I'll be fine with it.
Do you see what I've done here? It was not my intention to write about what I can do. It was my intention to rant a little and let off steam about how much I just wanted to give up. But here I go - I've convinced myself that I can do without these things. I've turned my head hunger around just a little bit and reminded myself that I don't need it. I know someday I'll be able to add some of these starches back into my life, but for now, they aren't priority.
Yes, I miss bread & rice & potatoes! I'm only human. But I can make this journey. I can do what I have to do. I want to do this! I need to do this! My life depends on this. In my first consultation, Doc told me that my chances of living to age 65 were 10%. I'm 35 years old. I never thought it was this bad. I knew I was fat - that was never a secret. I knew I was doomed to high blood pressure & diabetes. It's all over my family. But I never thought I'd hear someone tell me that I probably wasn't going to make it to retirement age. My last two years have been tough medically. And it seems to never end. I truly believe that it can all be alleviated, or at least helped, if I could just get rid of this weight. I'm carrying around enough weight to almost equal 3 of my 14 year old daughter. WOW! That's a lot! I can not continue to live like this.
I don't know where I'm finding this discipline, but I thank God for it. It's so hard. I just pray it will be worth it in the end.
So I love movie theater popcorn...I don't get the butter, but I can put away a really big tub...or I should say I used to put away a really big tub of popcorn. I'm still in my preop, but even so I know that movie theater popcorn is not exactly a health food. We don't go to the movies very often, but I couldn't imagine a movie without popcorn.
My office was meeting at the theater today to see Guardians of the Galaxy (totally worth your consideration) and I wanted to go AND I wanted to stay within my calories for the day...so...hubby got a small popcorn (he used to eat big tubs too) and I took a Quest Strawberry Cheesecake protein bar (which I had already budgeted for in my daily menu). I had one handful of popcorn...it tasted good....then was perfectly satisfied with my protein bar...and guess what...I still enjoyed the movie!
One bad habit conquered...a bajillion more to go...
