VSGAnn2014

I don't see how there could be a single-size-fits-all interpretation of any of these break-ups. People are much more than "gay" or "straight." They're honest, liars, empathic, assholes, smart, stupid, aware, delusional, or have countless other attributes. Interpreting Smye's and his wife's situation and future prospects in terms of the experiences of other male/female couples who disbanded because one partner was gay and came out is likely going to miss the mark. Divorces are all pretty unique to the people involved. (Mine sure was.) Smye's and his wife's divorce will be the way they create it.

LOL! Sorry, but I recognize your feelings. At my pool, I only have to show my legs while walking from the dressing room to the pool steps. Thereafter, my legs are flapping underwater where no one can see them. Just imagine how delightful that would be -- doing Water aerobics on land! That'll make you be grateful, huh?

No, it is not normal. Normal a year post-op is eating a reasonable amount of food -- like a cup at meals.

VSG patients' weight losses three years out are all over the place. The more you lurk and read here, the more you'll see that some have regained a considerable amount and others are still at or below goal -- and everything in between. There is no single outcome. It depends on your willingness to continue to follow a lot of eating rules that you learn when you have surgery, your nutritional knowledge and the food choices you make and the portions you eat, whether you exercise (and how consistently), your susceptibility to binge eating and grazing (not the same thing, but both awful for your maintenance dreams), the support system you have for creating a new lifestyle, and your own good or bad luck with regard to your metabolism. I also think it depends on how badly you want to be healthy and slim long-term. The sleeve helps a lot. But if you're determined to eat (or compelled to eat by an eating disorder or stress or other forces), you can figure out how to eat around the sleeve. That's my take on it.

These issues really give me a chance to consider what love means. By which I mean "love" that has no other label but "unconditional." Wow.

Yikes! Sorry, I have no insights or experience with any of your diagnoses or symptoms. But I sure hope you get over this mess soon. Get well!

Yes.

@@Mary Mier ... You should start your own thread about this question. You've posed a different topic than the one the original poster posed on this thread. (I had my surgery in US, so won't comment on your question.)

Well .... Hmmmm .... First, my surgeon's program did require a significant psychological assessment -- two hours' worth of paper and pencil tests, an hour-long consultation with a psychologist who works with bariatric patients, and a second results / feedback hour-long review with him. Second, I did seek psychological help prior to VSG surgery. I started seeing a shrink 2 months pre-op and continue to see him. I plan to continue to see him during Year Two (which I'm now in) and through Year Three. After that, we'll see if I still need that support. Third, I haven't had the kind of anxiety reactions that the OP described during weight loss or since reaching goal weight, and now that I'm 7 pounds under goal. Those weren't my reactions or responses to weight loss. So clearly everyone doesn't respond in the same ways to WLS and what follows. Do I think most people would benefit from more therapy? I don't know. But I knew that I would, which is why I went out and secured those resources for myself pre-op. BTW, it didn't take WLS for me to figure out that I had "issues" around self-care (that happened to be my issue, not necessarily others' issues -- we each have the issues we have, not necessarily the same issues others have).

I've never seen ANY pop-up ads. Ever. Nada.

This doesn't make any sense. I've literally never heard of this. Heck, paying for the sleeve out of pocket (with no insurance) at the hospital where I had surgery was a flat $16,000. And it's a huge, full-service hospital and hosts a bariatric Center of Excellence. I think there's something you aren't understanding about that bill. Nonetheless, in your shoes, I would find and hire someone who specializes in negotiating these bills. There are people like that these days. Seriously, that's what I would do. Good luck to you.

Yeah ... the non-response bias in that study is shocking!

Top 10 ways to wear leggings ... http://www.topinspired.com/top-10-ways-to-wear-leggings/

Absolutely fascinating! Again, here's the link. I think it should be required viewing for anyone considering WLS. http://theweightofthenation.hbo.com/watch/bonus-shorts/the-quest-to-understand-the-biology-of-weight-loss Doesn't mean we can't be successful long-term. Like the doctors said, forewarned is forearmed.

@@B-52 ... you rock!

This is an essay (not a logical analysis) about a couple of badly designed studies that produced information, but no conclusive, extrapolatable findings one can apply to a broad population. The first study cited had a lot more "treatments" than just dietary changes: The 35 respondents (a very small sample) were all conscientious objectors, male, mostly Mennonites, and all confined to work camps with other conscientious objectors, and required to walk at least 22 miles a week. To imagine that the changes they experienced while limited to a 1600 calorie diet were due solely to the food they ate or that their responses during the study were typical of what people not confined to a work camp or were women (and a host of other differences) is ludicrous. The study results didn't even compare the test group to any control group living under similar circumstances. I'd hypothesize that others at the work camp didn't fare well either, no matter what they were eating. The second study was conducted more recently -- for a total of six days. Six frickin' days. Yeah, those findings are conclusive of nothing, given that six days is about the amount of time it takes for an obese person to lose 10 pounds from their liver. And then what happens during the next three to twelve months? Gee, it'd be nice to know. But this study certainly doesn't investigate those outcomes. Finally, the essayist admits he favors a different theory that neither of the studies he discusses even tested, but still uses those studies to "prove" the legitimacy of his favored theory. It's like reading two badly designed studies that conclude: Red makes people angry, and blue makes people peaceful. And then concluding: Therefore, green must make people jealous. What a crap article. I hate to say this out loud, but as much as I used to admire The New York Times, it has gone terribly downhill. Are there no editors left there with any brains?

My moment happened Day Three. It lasted about two hours, max. There's a lot of difference between the theory of cutting off 85% of your stomach and actually doing it. But realize, please, that on Day Three your stomach won't hold much at all. A month later it'll hold more. At six months it'll hold a cup. A year out it might hold more than that. In other words, your newly operated on stomach holds no resemblance to what your future, fully healed stomach will hold. There may come a day when you will pine for the days when you could eat only a half cup of food. For now -- realize that you're going to go through a lot of physical and emotional changes. And you're going to move from those to even more, different feelings and changes. Be brave. Look forward to eating a normal amount, not overeating.

I can relate. Hubby was diagnosed with cancer two months after my VSG. In my case controlling my food / drink was the only thing I felt I could control, and doing so gave me the only peace I felt for the next 3 months until I finally accepted that "we" had cancer. Yes, in your shoes I'd drink Protein drinks -- offers both protein and hydration. Those are especially useful if you're having to be away from home, e.g., at hospital or elsewhere, because of your family disruptions and emergencies. Finally -- here's my biggest advice. Now, perhaps for the first time in your life, take care of yourself first. That doesn't mean you don't have to fulfill your obligations to others in your life. But take care of yourself first. That's a big reason many of us got so unhealthy in the first place -- we didn't think we were as worthy as others for whom we care. I hope your situation eases. Just take it one day at a time. That's all you can do anyway. And control what you can control. And let go the stuff you can't control. Sounds simple. It's not. But it works.

Oh, good grief. Google "three week stall." This happens to everyone somewhere around 2-4 weeks. Everyone! EVERYONE! Surely no one promised you you'd lose at a regular clip or that your scales would behave like a car's gasoline gauge. Because you won't and it won't. Your body is a lot more complicated than that. You're doing fine except for going all drama llama.

Hoo boy! Why are some of you newbies going all drama llama because you've lost *only* 10 pounds your first month post-op? That's exactly how much I lost my first month post-op -- and what I lost Month 2, Month 3 and Month 4. And you're breast-beating yourself because a few other patients are eating more than you and still losing weight? There are multiple reasons why this could happen -- but none of them are because you're a potential WLS failure or a special snowflake. And you're whining that (based on your vast bariatrics medical training) you could possibly know more than your surgeon and bariatric team about WLS and what will help you be successful long-term? Gimme a break. Why don't you guys just do today what you're supposed to do today. And do tomorrow what you're supposed to do tomorrow. That's how you'll lose all your excess weight and then maintain your loss. That's how I lost all my excess weight and then a little more. I've been maintaining at 7 pounds below my weight loss goal for 4 months now. Unless that's too boring for you. In which case, be my guest and pig out to learn how much food it'll take to bust your tiny, swollen, not-yet-healed stomach wide open.

Thanks. I'm seeing a shrink, eating more Protein, staying way from starches, and moving my ass. I feel great!

We should wear what we want to wear. I certainly do! I'm about to quit giving even a small f**k what anybody else thinks about me. And it's going to feel good.

@@Thinside ... and everybody else .... You guys DO understand (I hope) that my daily meal plan above is a MAINTENANCE meal plan, not a WEIGHT LOSS meal plan. That's what I eat more than a year post-op, after losing 92 pounds and exceeding my weight loss goal. Just want to be clear about that. 'Kay?

So glad I wasn't fat AND stupid.

Just consider this experience the same as every other tough experience in life -- an opportunity for personal growth and the chance to have an even better life than you'd ever imagined you could have had before all this happened. If I had achieved and experienced in my whole life ONLY what I'd aimed for when I was 20 or 30 or 40 or even 50 I'd never have had the fuller life I have turned out having. You / we / I cannot limit our dreams and goals to our initial ones. We dream like babies when we're babies. There's so much out there that's possible than our first dreams revealed to us. When you are through grieving over your old dreams, you'll create some new ones.