VSGAnn2014

I mostly see problems arise when a poster says, essentially, "My way is the only right way and all other ways are wrong." Some people have success through X and then assume that everyone else will have success only through X. But that's not how it works with nutrition, weight loss, health, and not how it works with most other things in life. For example, some people walk, others run, cycle, do yoga or Pilates, and some of them fight about the physical and moral superiority of those regimens like they were Baptists, Mormons and Catholics fighting about which of them are true Christians. Bless their hearts.

A low carb diet definitely doesn't give us enough energy for the brain. Just sayin'. Also FTR, I didn't go low-carb. And I lost just fine and was able to maintain a very intellectually challenging occupation. All carbs aren't bad for you or your weight loss program. Just the starchiest, sugariest ones.

Super bad!

That's a good perspective to keep. I've lost over 95 pounds. There's no way I could pick up 95 pounds right now. It's no wonder I didn't move much pre-op. I couldn't! We really do forget how far we've come.

That's a lot of individuation going on there ... fat you vs. still-not-skinny-enough you. @@bellabloom ... seriously, my dear -- it's therapy time. Spoken with kindness.

Here's the secret to true love that lasts: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/

@@bellabloom ... read this. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/13/health/extreme-dieting-of-anorexia-may-be-entrenched-habit-study-finds.html?_r=0

I had VSG surgery August 18, 2014. That's 14 months ago. Pre-op I was 235.6 pounds / 39.2 BMI. Today I'm 140 pounds / 23.3 BMI. Hell, yes, I would do this surgery again. And for the record, I haven't kvetched and moaned about anything. It's been a great experience for me in every single way.

I can't express how much I have learned by planning and tracking my food / drink using My Fitness Pal during the last 17 months (including 3 months pre-op). By using MFP almost daily I have learned about the calories, fat, carbs, protein, fiber, sodium and other nutritional components of everything I've eaten and drunk. It's given me a real education and a sense of tremendous power and control. I recommend it highly to you, @@Lexuskela .

I never respond to posts like this one unless the OP provides complete calorie and macronutrient information about what they're eating for weeks at a time -- meals, Snacks, grazing, drinking, etc. Nor do we have any information about the OP's starting weight and current weight. That would be useful, too. Also -- what medications she's taking.

It's not clear to me how far away this guy lives from where you live. But I gotta say -- if he sounds like a possible, keep dating him. I think you may be trying to make a decision before you've really spent that much face time with him. FTR, my husband (who's perfect for me) lived 800 miles away from me when we first started talking online 20 years ago. Two months later we met. Three months after that we married and he moved to where I lived. And we lived happily ever after. True love can be very geographically inconvenient.

I'm so not impressed by that research. There's as much variation in risk ratios between the cohort of WLS patients who live in rural areas and all other WLS patients as between all WLS patients and those who haven't had WLS. I say move everybody downtown. Seriously, some of these studies are so badly designed I just want to jack-slap the researchers. It sometimes seems they're thinking: "We have no frickin' idea what this means, but we went to the trouble of collecting data, so let's publish anyway."

If I were ever in the dating market again (fat chance), I would not do online dating, even though I met my current husband and the love of my life online. Next time, I'd put the word out to all my happily married friends -- men and women -- that I was interested in being in a relationship. (I can't imagine wanting to be married again -- this one was too lovely to try to follow). And I would let my friends screen their friends and acquaintances for me. Then I'd do the coffee date thing -- no fancy dinner dates up front. Actually, God knows what I'd do. I spent all the 1980s and first half of the 1990s dating my ass off. It was a LOT of hard work. I think dating will always be hard work.

I love to hear about science experiments. Looking forward to your report.

Expect miracles. Seriously.

@@skinnyrita ... I don't recall your posts about nutrition or any responses to your posts ... but here is how I think about online forums like this one: They are open to anyone who wants to express their opinions. There are many different opinions about how to lose weight, maintain weight, and become healthy post-WLS. And most participants here are pretty inclined to say what they think. If they agree with you, they'll say so. If they don't, they'll say something else. And if (?) you were complaining because everyone who responds to your posts doesn't agree with you and say so, that's very surely what will continue to happen because ... it's a message board. And that's what we do on message boards: Express our opinions. Someone's earlier advice was perfect: Express your own opinions. And don't get bent out of shape when others do the same.

@@bellabloom ... congrats to you, woman. And to others who've shared their stories here, thank you. Some amazing stuff was said in this thread.

@@bellabloom ... My last post above wasn't directed at your OP, but at @@Dr-Patient 's comment suggesting that "men have so lost their way" and blaming "the women's movement" for the failure of men and women to find satisfying relationships. Of course, you and Dr-Patient are entitled to your vents. I was venting a bit, too. BTW, I wasn't born happily married. I was married for 12 years to the worst possible match for me. What a misery that was -- for both for us. And then I was single for 15 years, learning what I needed in a relationship and why I'd stayed in such a terrible marriage with someone who, upon long reflection, was one of the worst persons I could have chosen to live with. You live. You learn. You move on.

Do you all think we will EVER learn that everyone doesn't want or need the identical things in a relationship? Stop criticizing others who don't want what you have to offer or offer what you need. That just makes them "the wrong one" for you. It doesn't make them *wrong* or "new-fangled" or "old-fashioned" or "evil" -- it only makes them not right for you and you not right for them. Move on.

The last one takes the cake, though. He said he thought he might be facing impending homelessness, and my mouth engaged before my brain and said, "well, if you can't find something fast enough, you can spend a few days on my couch until you find something else" (because who on earth could say, "gee, sorry" and watch someone sleep in a tent, y'know?). 6 days later he showed up with all his stuff, and now he won't leave...it's been almost a month. When I figure out what to do with him, I'm going to stop dating for a while, lol. @@roundisashape ... In the dictionary beside the term "boundary issues" is your photograph. Call the cops and have them come over while he packs up and leaves. And in the next 15 minutes, change ALL your house locks.

I was eating 800 calories 3 weeks post-op, too. I hit 60 grams of Protein 5 days post-op. 13.5 months later I can eat only 1 cup MAX at a single sitting.

Yeah -- skinny banana on top of a melon is not what VSG surgery is supposed to produce. And FTR, there is no "pouch" in VSG surgery. A "pouch" is something that's designed by RnY (gastric bypass) surgery. You can google all this. Here's what VSG surgery produces:

The one thing I have now (from my husband) that I never ever had before (except from my mother) is his unconditional love. He loves me. Really loves me. The way I am. All the time. He has the ability to love and doesn't measure it out in teaspoons or in any other ways. He just loves me. He shows it and I know it 24/7. The safety and security and stability that affords me is immeasurably valuable. I have no words to express its value. And even when we are parted by death, if I'm left alone I will still have his love because he loved me so perfectly.

Love that: "I feel like a fat girl trying to pass." I recognize that feeling. (Nobody knows who I really am!)

Nor had I heard of it prior to that breakout, @@OKCPirate . The acne was so sudden and severe that I just sat down and asked myself, "What has changed?" A week earlier I'd started taking 500 mg. B12 daily. So that was an easy science experiment to conduct, with a lovely outcome. Next week I'm going to start taking the B12 twice a week and see if the acne returns. If not, I'll keep taking the B12 in that dosage. A.