VSGAnn2014

I'm definitely treated better since I'm thin. And this coming from someone who was very successful as a hard-working fat person -- but as an exhausted hard-working fat person who was also in pain a lot of the time. It's a two-way street -- not just what others are doing differently. Now I'm more comfortable in my own skin, more confident, not in pain, not exhausted. I can now stand and walk comfortably, travel with ease, dress more stylishly and definitely look better in my clothes, and I have so much more energy than before. I'm also more relaxed and less irritable than when I was obese. I think the downside of being obese in a high-pressure business setting is HUGE! (No pun intended.) The stress of these kinds of jobs is already terrible. Add a hundred or more extra pounds to that stress and the medical and physical and psychological issues that accompany the weight and it's a no-brainer for me that obese people labor under tremendous career and workplace disadvantages. EDIT: And no, I didn't tell anyone I was having WLS. Since I'm a lifelong yo-yo dieter, everyone assumes I finally got it right.

In every area of life, some people get their s**t together, take personal responsibility for their own success, and push on through. There's a difference between those who need support and want support vs. those who are just too fuckin' lazy to do the work necessary to be successful. Answering lazy people's WLS questions is not my life's work. I'm not paid to do it. I don't want to do it. I'm here because this is a community where I can find like-minded people who want to lose weight through WLS, keep it off, get healthier, and stay healthier. I find good information here, some people whose online company I enjoy, and have numerous epiphanies about things I had no idea were issues for me. That's why I'm here.

Some great guac recipes here and even beautiful food porn (thanks, Dub).

I don't have any solutions -- just some questions: Anna, is your therapist any help with this / these issues? Are you addressing this with her/him? Also, do you have access to an in-person support group where other WLS patients attend? If so, do you think meeting some people who have recently had WLS would give you some comfort and some new friends who could help you adjust to this new lifestyle?

I had VSG surgery at age 68 (am now nearly 70). And yes, my skin (under clothes) doesn't look like it did at age 40 or 50 or even 60. But I was a lot fatter during most of those years. The skin really doesn't bother me. And at 14+ months post-op, it actually seems to be tightening up a bit. But the un-tight skin (again, under clothes) doesn't bother me at all. At my age I'm not going to have any body reconstruction done. The only event that would change that decision would be if I were to contract breast cancer I'd get two, not one, new boobs. Silver lining in that cloud, eh?

I think there's tons of support on this board. I truly do. I give it, and I get it. There are a lot of people here looking for help and support through what is a challenging adventure. Some of them are sincerely looking for information they didn't get from their surgeons or are confused by some of the goofy information they've read here and elsewhere online. There are also a few (not many) dimwits who want to know if it's OK to smoke after surgery, eat ice cream during the soft food phase, drink alcohol the first month post-op, and eat potato chips instead of Protein because protein is so yucky. I'll readily admit that supporting dimwits is not my superpower. Therefore, somebody else here needs to pick up the slack and take care of the dimwits. Thank you.

I wish there'd been more Copelands around when you were young, too. I've always loved this photo series of what great athletes look like. There's so much variation in what "in good physical shape" means that it just blows my mind. Here are some of the pix: http://www.boredpanda.com/athlete-body-types-comparison-howard-schatz/

Baby carrots? Seriously? You're worried people are eating too many baby carrots?

How many drinks do you have each week?

@@lauraellen80 ... I think you know the correct answers to your questions, given all the excellent information you've laid out in your OP. But I do think you need to do something to remove those childhood earwigs from your brain. It's time to grow up all the way, to see your childhood influences as the ignorant bullies they really were. They believed in their rigid ballerina ideology, ignorant as it was, that bore no relation to health, beauty, talents or happiness. Please read this brief article. And please, please, please, watch the video at that page! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2713441/Who-said-ballerinas-delicate-Misty-Copeland-displays-phenomenal-muscle-power-dances-stage-new-Under-Armour-ad.html

Boy, I sure don't look older! I now look hawt (for my age). (Lost 95 pounds; maintaining at 140; 5'5", 69 years old.)

Excellent points. Skipping meals is only one of many ways many obese people have accustomed themselves not to care for themselves. Ramping up my own self-care skills and the willingness to make myself "number one" are critical to my own obesity recovery. And just because I now take care of my needs first doesn't mean I don't still care for others in my life. In many ways, I'm learning self-respect for the first time. The changes are subtle, but important.

Tootsie -- what happens going forward is all up to you, of course. FTR, I see a shrink who has NEVER recommended xanax or any other drugs. Not all of them are like the one(s) you saw. In my humble opinion, cynicism is a shield that keeps us from risking. Nothing trusted, nothing ventured. Nothing ventured, nothing failed at. And nothing gained either. Good luck.

Boy, sorry to hear this. I had a very different outcome from my WLS. At nearly 70 years old, I look decades younger than I did before being sleeved. My pain (from arthritis) is practically nil these days. I haven't had an Aleve or any other NSAID in 17 months. I walk for nearly 4 miles each day for exercise, plus the walking I do at home and at work. My physical rejuvenation and ability to move are some of my best WLS NSVs. I lost 95 pounds, am maintaining at 140 pounds easily (am 5'5") and definitely do not look "skeletor." I am a standard size 8 (and vanity sizes 6 and even 4) and look hawt for my age. My pre-WLS, agoraphobic self was definitely depressed. My 14-months post-op 140-pound cute self is definitely not depressed. Obviously, everyone's mileage varies considerably. I endorse others' advice that you seek some good counseling and medical care for the things that are plaguing you these days. You don't have to put up with these kinds of outcomes.

Congrats on your successful cancer treatment. Really good news. Now, get ready for The Next Big Miracle. Honestly, WLS is the best thing I've ever done for myself and my health. I bet you will discover the same thing.

Boy, there are some dedicated people (even this early) posting on this thread. That's so impressive. I agree -- you guys are going to rock your WLS tools.

@@winklie ... that's determination. I think you're going to be a huge WLS long-term success. Great story.

Ah ... self care. That's what the vast majority of obese people don't know how to do. Here's some hard truth coming at you here re the obese and their ability to care well for themselves. Everyone else and everything else seems more important to the obese than taking GOOD care of themselves. Pre-WLS most of us: * Didn't take our Vitamins * Didn't even take all our Rx meds on time or as much as we should have * Didn't exercise * Certainly didn't eat nutritiously or the right amount * Didn't brush our teeth every day, much less twice a day * Minimized the most basic daily grooming chores If you were an obese person who did care for yourself pre-op in all these (and other ways), then you're the exception. I was not an exception. I look back now on how pitiful my own self-care was pre-WLS, and I see so clearly that I gave my pets better care than I gave myself. Yes, being a responsible self-carer is a new experience for many WLS patients. But it is a necessary change for long-term success. That means you PUT YOURSELF FIRST. That means before the pets. Before the kids. Before the spouse. Before the boss. Before the clients. Before the house, the car, the yard, the laundry. You have to become Number One. It takes so little time, but it requires a huge change in thinking. Mostly, it requires that you learn to respect yourself.

Ryan, you're only on the pre-op phase now. This will be over soon. And no, you probably won't feel very "full" during the pre-op dieting phase, so tough titty. And then post-op you'll have so many more phases (and phenomena) to experience. If you're like me, your "full" experiences will vary tremendously post-op. Early on (the first month) you won't be able to eat much, and your "full" will happen after a few bites. Then over time, during the weight-losing phases, as you build up to eating real food (meat, veggies, fruits, whole grains) you'll discover that what you eat and in which order you eat your foods will determine how full you feel. You probably have read or heard this many times before, but when you eat dense Protein first (meat, cheese, etc.) you will feel full and satisfied for longer than if you were to eat first things that you shouldn't even be eating -- slider foods like chips, Cookies, crackers; liquid calories; ice cream; mashed potatoes; etc. (This is true of everyone's eating behavior, whether they've had WLS or not.) FTR, "slider foods" are highly processed, starchy or sugary carbohydrates (many of them white or pale in color) that don't stay in your stomach a long time and "slide on down" your pyloric valve (at the bottom of your stomach) into your small intestine rapidly, leaving your stomach empty and ready to consume more food. However, if you used to eat to the level of uncomfortably full or if you used food to numb your emotions in any way or you used to binge-eat, WLS won't cure you of those issues and behaviors. It's up to you to decide whether you would benefit from counseling to address those issues. And you'll know. In fact, you may already know. Finally, some of our overeating to the point of "full" -- which may have been "too full" -- is simply due to a lifelong of bad habits, which we will need to change. As the saying goes, they're operating on your stomach, not your head. P.S. All this applies to both men and women equally.

I wouldn't worry about it. You only have 98 posts so far.

I had never heard that before. But after some quick google-fu, and although this truism is repeated a lot online, apparently there's no clear-cut relationship between alcohol and obesity / metabolism / weight gain or loss. In fact, the relationship sounds fairly nuanced, depending on how much you drink, how often you drink, how obese / active you are, etc.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_and_weight One of the research findings includes this one: "Alcohol also appears to increase metabolic rate significantly, thus causing more calories to be burned rather than stored in the body as fat (Klesges et al., 1994)"

Great info. Thanks, guys.

Congrats, @@craigcu , on doing the 5K. I walk that far (and more), but haven't yet participated in a 5K event.

Very interesting dialogue in this thread. Thanks to all. Makes me think I have some issues with "skinny" I haven't begun to examine. Hmmm. Let's face it, folks. It's just fuckin' weird to lose this much weight in such a short period of time after (for most of us) a lifetime of obesity. And we're undergoing this enormous physical and psychological transformation in an era when people of all ages are obsessed with physical appearance. WLS in the selfie era -- it definitely has some challenges.

LOL! I'm a size 8, too. Unless I'm wearing the vanity-sized clothes from Talbots (size 6) and from Ann Taylor (apparently, a size 2!). Seriously, the clothes from those stores (and banana Republic and some others) are notoriously over-sized.