VSGAnn2014

Of course, we can be friends with ANYONE. But it's a fact that fat friends tend to make us fat and keep us fat. Here are just two of the research studies with this finding: http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-your-friends-make-you-fat%E2%80%94the-social-network-of-weight-201105242666 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2765271/Fat-friends-make-eat-MORE-You-likely-ditch-healthy-eating-goals-eating-overweight-companions.html IMHO, there's strong agreement in these relationships that fat / food/ fitness won't ever be discussed seriously. The friends agree that those topics are too painful / embarrassing / irritating / upsetting to deal with and that they will continue to issue permission to each other to continue their unhealthy behaviors. The same dynamic dominates relationships among drug users, alcoholics, and other substance abusers.

OK, this may sound weird, but it's so valid for me. This aspect of being overweight had immense, lifelong benefits for me. I'm 68 years old. I started becoming overweight when I was 7. Thereafter, through college, I was always chubby / overweight kid. (I became slim for the first time only when I was 22 years old.) During those years, I was not among those girls / young women that boys and young men considered as romantic first-choices. Consequently, I learned early on to become good friends with boys. I grew up without becoming *boy-crazy* -- a phase where sexual attention from boys was the most valuable currency. I felt comfortable engaging and competing with boys intellectually. I aspired early on to experience in life what I read about and saw only boys and men doing. I found delight in learning and adventure. I became an acute observer of human behavior. I saw that a person's appearance is only one of their attributes. I felt I was different from *other girls* and felt that was a good thing. Eventually, I did *discover* boys, sexual relationships, marriage, etc. But all in good time. I'll always be grateful for the arc of my sexual development. In this regard, given the most obvious (and few) life options available to women of my generation, I was most fortunate.

Thanks for everyone's comments. And, as @@Kindle said, we should find a way works for us. But often when we discuss "counting" vs. "not counting" there's a strange (and mistaken) equivalency made that "counting" means dire ways of eating, like eating too few calories or no carbs or some other unusual menu. Counting is just record-keeping. That's all. So if you're not recording your food intake and you're losing (or maintaining and that's your current goal), no problemo. But if you're not making progress toward your current goal but are not tracking your food intake, then it may be difficult to figure out what you're doing that's stopping you from making progress. At three months out, I really need to observe what I'm eating. I'm still very much in learning mode. I'm not nearly through with all the eating phases / changes I'll go through on my way to long-term maintenance. So recording / tracking my food works for me.

Uh, no. You're a regular, normal, middle-of-the-road loser. I weighed 216 on surgery day. Month One I lost 10.4 pounds. Month Two I lost 11.8 pounds. Month Three I lost 8.8 pounds. That's what normal looks like. For someone with a low BMI you lost a shitload of weight in Month One. You're doing great.

We now return to our regular programming ....

Wow, wow, wow! Congratulations. You look so beautiful!

Yup. I feel your confusion about this, too. Reminds me of posts I see with few if any more details than this: "Help, I'm gaining!" WTF?

Great thread idea. Thanks, @@bobbyswife, for starting it. Too many names to thank. But Alex deserves prime thanks for the site. @@LipstickLady ... thank you. And yes, I do grok you. I also miss @@Madam Reverie -- where are you, Madam? I always read posts by @@Kindle and @@CowgirlJane . Thanks to all who take the time to post here. Doesn't matter whether we agree or have the same experience. What matters is that we share our perspective. Life and WLS ... it's a collective dealio. Gobble, gobble!

Happened today ... in a shopping mall. First time I was surprised since surgery.

LOL! Well, the question is certainly original. Don't think I've seen this one before. If there were a natural emergency, we could always kill a fat person and eat them. They'd be the ones moving slower than us.

Sure thing ... First one I tried is "Caltrate" ... see www.caltrate.com. The other one is also "Caltrate" -- but is a "Soft Chew" (chocolate truffle). They're both 600 mg. calcium + D3 (takes two pills a day). Hard to turn down the chocolate truffle one, eh?

I'm surprised at some of the questions I see here and on other WLS boards from new VSG patients, like ... * I just had VSG surgery. What am I supposed to eat now? * My surgeon says not to drink alcohol until X months out. Can I drink now anyway? * When can I start eating ice cream? * I'm four days out and just had chicken McNuggets. Have I damaged my sleeve? * If you plan to drink heavily, first take a Percocet to calm your stomach. I totally get that, even pre-op, this surgery can sometimes be overwhelming. But some patients' questions suggest that even though they've just undergone major surgery they haven't read their post-op instructions, understood their instructions, don't believe what could happen to them if they don't follow instructions, or maybe they just never received any instructions at all. Weird!

Did you know there are chewable calcium citrate + D3 pills? I take two of them (600 mg. Ca each), which could (if your NUT approves) replace 5 of your crushed calcium citrate pills. YUCK! BTW, I never had to crush my pills. Wasn't required. But my thyroid and Protonix (a PPI) pills are both small. I also just finished taking a regimen of antibiotic capsules (pretty large) for a UTI. No problemo.

Rozzie ... chill, my dear. You're just experiencing the dreaded three-week stall. Happens to almost everyone. It will start moving again VERY soon. FYI, for those who love to compare, yesterday was my three-month surgiversary. I'm 5'5" (or 5'4", depending on whose ruler you believe) and 68 years old. Here are my stats: I lost 19 pounds pre-op (11 on my own and 8 on the surgeon's two-week pre-op diet). Post-op I've lost: Month 1 = 10.4 Month 2 = 11.8 Month 3 = 8.8 ... for a total of 51 pounds. I'm very, very happy.

Lovely, lovely thread! Congrats to the OP and others who are living their lives. And yes, dating sites are effective (that's how I met my perfect-for-me husband). Likewise, you can meet people by leaving the house to engage in activities where you will meet people with similar interests. But more than anything, you actually have to be OPEN to the idea of being in a relationship. Step One: Visualize some of that.

You're 5'6" and weighed over 300 pounds pre-op. You haven't had any surgical complications. You've lost 18 pounds. Yet not even two weeks post-op you "regret" this surgery? Seriously? That's the reason for my yawn.

God, what jackasses those people are! But it makes a great story. It's the kind of jackassery I could imagine happening in a movie written by Kristen Wiig that stars her and Melissa McCarthy. People are just nuts.

(yawn)

I really wouldn't judge how you look at 6 weeks post-op to predict how you're going to look when you're "done." Everything changes as we lose this weight. And it keeps changing. Plastic surgeons and those who do botox / fillers tell me I should wait at least a year until I've stopped losing weight before having any plastics or other procedures done -- because I will KEEP changing even after I lose all the weight. Be patient. It's all going to change -- and maybe for the better.

The doc is right. You're not getting nearly enough nutrition. If you can't hit his goal of 1,000 (more than my doc wanted at 1 month), then go for 600 to 800 calories/day. And you already know what you should be doing ... eat more slowly, chew your food a little more than you are now, and eat a couple of bites fewer at a single sitting than you are now. Also try adding a couple of Snacks in each day -- Greek yogurt would be great, since it requires no chewing (your tummy will think it's just another liquid). That's 120 calories and 12 grams of Protein for 5.3 ounces of Dannon Oikos vanila yogurt. Keep learning. Keep doing better. That's all there is to this.

The forum member here who was on The Biggest Loser many years ago said on this forum that many episodes are filmed over a period of several weeks -- with the attendant weight losses achieved over 2-3 weeks. The drama is manufactured. The storyline is scripted to manipulate the participants and the audience. TBL is a reality show, folks. It's not reality. Big difference. And yes, the show's premise is obscenely unreal. For one TBL winner's version of what REALLY happens on that show, see: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/biggest-loser-contestant-kai-hibbard-slams-reality-show-gained-weight-back/

Perhaps it would give you a new perspective to remember how much your life before WLS sucked. And why you had the surgery. And, of course, that the current suckage will be over soon.

Glad you're back on top of this. Good for you. As I'm sure you've read many times here, this journey is more about the mental, psychological and spiritual changes we are able to make than the physical changes we made in removing 85% of our stomachs. I sometimes think that the older one is and the more one has learned about how NOT to care for oneself, from repeated failures at self care and self love, the greater advantage one has in this WLS journey. After reading these boards for longer than a year, I've come to see that those who are long-term WLS successes are those who understand at a very core level that they must care for themselves FEROCIOUSLY -- because no one else can.

Just FYI, my buyers remorse (more like astonishment that I'd done something so permanent to my body) hit on Day Two post-op. That was also the last day I took any hydrocodone, which was having a VERY weird (and not positive) effect on me. Happily, I was having a very easy physical recovery, so it was easy to stop taking the medication. In other words, I thought the depressive effects of hydrocodone contributed to my 24-hour remorse . That may not have anything to do with your situation, but am just offering this observation about my own experience. By Day Three I was Pollyanna again. That's not to say that I didn't find the first week challenging, especially learning how to swallow again. But by Day Five I was hitting 60 grams of Protein (with Protein shakes, of course). I've been so fortunate and am grateful for that.

You need three things: This surgery. Some good wigs. And a GREAT lawyer.