VSGAnn2014

Sounds like you're going through some pre-op stuff. Immediately pre-op time wasn't easy for most of us. With regard to your phrase "addiction to food," that's a loaded term. There's considerable debate about what "food addiction" means or if it even exists. Is it merely a "tumultuous relationship with food"? Is "overeating" sufficient to define a "food addict"? Or does "food addiction" require binging? Or does it merely require "comfort eating"? And to what degree? I don't use the term "addiction" to describe how I ate prior to WLS. But God knows I had some terrible eating habits. And although I didn't eat badly all the time, I ate badly enough often enough and was inactive enough most of the time that I eventually achieved a BMI of nearly 40. At that point I was trapped by my obesity and comorbidities and could no longer get back to a normal weight (no longer obese or even overweight) by dieting and exercise. That's why I had WLS.

I can't say how well you will do post-op. No way to tell that at all. However, I will say this: Post-op you CANNOT go back to the same lifestyle you had pre-op and expect that you will remain slim and healthy. Yes, you may lose a lot of weight post-op. But your long-term success in maintaining your weight loss will depend on your ability to eat differently and healthier and exercise more and consistently for the rest of your life. Whatever it takes for you to change your life and your lifestyle -- therapy, changing your relationships with family and others, a spiritual awakening, career and work changes, etc. -- you have to find a way to change. I'll also warn you that educating yourself about nutrition and exercise and committing to caring for yourself first (before others) are critical to those changes. These changes are harder for some than others. Identifying the current barriers to your long-term success are where I'd suggest you start. We did not get to this point because we were managing our lives and our health well.

Thanks, @@Rogofulm . @@swimbikerun ... where's the original thread you posted about this research? Link here at the forum, please?

I agree, CGJ -- time to take a break. Finding love shouldn't feel like a job. Lelly, that really is a great story! OKC, you sound pretty excited.

My hubby was my strongest supporter through my own weight loss journey. He was just great -- never "instructed," but always "supported." Told me I looked great all the time. Told me how proud he was of me. That was worth so much to me!

OMG! I'm sorry, but I'm dying laughing at the idea of you barfing on the shrink's shoes. Sorry. Really. But it's funny.

I don't know what kind of office environment you work in. But if you work in a typical corporate organization, you'll certainly "stand out." So, no.

Nope, I've not had that experience. Sorry that's happening -- or that you feel like it is. I hope things turn around.

Just sending you virtual big hugs. I do understand that watching a relationship change so dramatically and imagining that it will *end* (only because it won't be the same as you thought it was and imagined it would continue forever) is horribly disorienting. It's like the world has shifted on its axis. Trite, I know, but still a good description of what that feels like. The only thing I can say pretty much is a platitude, but here it is anyway: You're going to get through this, no matter what happens or how it turns out. And given how smart you are you're going to be ... wait for it ... just fine. Sorry. I'm old. I get to say shit like this. Because it's true. (((((you)))))

www.myfitnesspal.com

You're 56 years old. Don't tell him.

Yeah, not eating your Protein is NOT a good idea. You better figure that one out. Try non-flavored protein powder in broth. Talk to your surgeon. Find a solution. Post-op eating isn't just designed to help you lose weight, but to help you recover from surgery, preserve your body muscle (like the muscle of your heart, kidneys, intestines, lungs, etc.) and not to fall ill.

I think it's weird.

@@AvaFern ... congrats on your new-found confidence. I think that's wonderful. But my perspective is a bit more like Babbs's. I met my husband 20 years ago when I weighed 185 pounds. We'd been talking online and on the phone for a couple of months before we met (we lived hundreds of miles apart) and already knew how much we had in common. Like you and your recent boyfriend, we were already friends. The night we finally met in person I remember deciding NOT to wear control top pantyhose or even wear foundation makeup, for that matter -- just jeans, a sweater, mascara, lipstick and sandals. I really wanted to be the most visible, transparent me (physically) I could be. He proposed (with a ring) on our second date a few weeks later. Sounds weird, but if I had time to share other details here, it might make more sense. The miracle is I was smart enough to say yes. Prior to WLS, he'd seen my weight fluctuate from 160 pounds to (gasp!) my all-time high of 235 (coincidentally, Babbs's highest weight, too). Through it all he has adored and been kind to me. I have adored and been kind to him. Now that I weigh 143 pounds (with batwing arms and a saggy tummy) he still adores me and is kind to me every day in so many ways. And vice versa. We wouldn't trade each other in for a younger or a firmer model for anything in the world. He's just proud of me and so happy that I'm happy and healthier at my lower weight. Sexual attraction is sparked by so much more than how much we weigh. And love, not to mention a great love, is about soooo much more than sexual attraction. I hope you find your own love out there that grows into a great love. It's just the safest, best feeling thing in the whole world.

Most responses above are from people newly sleeved or still losing weight. I'm a year past WLS and 7 pounds lower than my weight loss goal. I go out to eat all the time. I eat Italian, Mexican, steak, sushi, etc. I eat about a cup of food at each meal. And I typically have two healthy Snacks a day. That's plenty of food for anybody. When I want to drink wine I have a total of about 4 ounces of wine before, with and after the meal. I average almost 1700 calories a day. And I'm maintaining at 143 pounds. But I no longer pig out. I wasn't a binge eater. But I was a celebrater eater. A boredom eater. I had some bad eating habits. In short, I ate like a typical fat American -- pretty much anything I wanted any time I wanted. That's not how healthy people eat. And it's not how you should eat either. Good luck making the right decision for yourself and getting healthier -- however you go about it.

I'd say, considering that you weigh 385 pounds now and regardless of your philosophizing about "the "right" reasons to have WLS, losing a lot of weight with WLS will offer you the right benefits. If you don't have WLS now do you imagine that in 5 years when you are 35 years old that you'll still weigh 385 pounds? Chances are, you'll weigh at least 450 pounds by then. I think you need to get more realistic about your current health situation and what the near future holds for you if you don't turn your situation around.

@@OKCPirate ... a fencing class ... so cool! How did you like it?

My surgeon doesn't do lapbands anymore either. Too many failures, slipped bands, scarred stomachs, vomiting, and not enough (average) weight loss. And repeated fills / refills of the band are expensive. Sounds like you need to do a lot more research about WLS before you're ready to have surgery of any kind. You need to learn about the behavior and nutritional changes you'll need to make post-op to be successful long-term. None of the WLS procedures are magical or fix obesity by themselves. You will have to make many other changes and create a new lifestyle for yourself to become slim and healthy. Very best to you.

I hated the liquid Isopure. But I just learned on another forum that Isopure also makes unflavored powdered Protein powder. You could try that. Good luck.

@@gowalking ... seriously, I really don't think that's "normal." I don't feel that way when I order a "skinny latte." Not at all. Are you really "... sitting here back in my house and feeling horrible...."? If so, what do YOU think is going on?

Now, 92 pounds skinnier, I wear: More color and less black Tighter clothes More casual clothes Fewer suits Belts Higher heels Cuter shoes of all kinds Better bras I also: Grew my hair longer and straighter now (a short, cute cut 10 years ago had morphed into the "church lady" -- ugh!) Wear more neutral lipstick Take better care of my skin Moisturize my body more Spend LESS (not more) money on clothes (big sizes are expensive!)

Nobody pays $80,000+ for this surgery. That "bill" is bullshit.

I don't think most people want to hear about our troubles. They're too busy thinking about their troubles.

Not a Dr. Oz fan. His reputation has long been in the toilet.

I weigh every morning I'm home, in the morning after going to the bathroom and with no clothes or jewelry on. It's a long-time ritual. It doesn't freak me out. And I certainly don't weigh throughout the day. I've observed over the years that when I don't do weigh daily I don't weigh weekly or even monthly -- and that's when things get out of hand. So weighing daily helps me be mindful and doesn't weird me out. Your mileage may vary.