chrystine

Have to agree with everyone. One biggie that jumped out at me, especially after my pre-surgery "lifestyle classes" - what the heck are you doing snacking in front of the t.v.? That's a "no-no"! To be successful, one must eat mindfully. One can't eat mindfully while watching t.v. And while a handful of nuts has great MUFAs, they also have a lot of fat and many contain a lot of sodium.

They are great questions! I am 46 and definitely not having another child (dear husband is 61 and snipped, lol!) but do wonder about the others. Anyway, while these are definitely worth knowing, even more important is the fact that long term, remaining morbidly obese is going to have a severe impact on your health and quality of life. Although I have been obese for about 10 years, I have remained in good physical condition for up until the last six. The pain from carrying around this weight - my knees, back and the plantar fasciitis is unbearable!! Not being able to do everything I want to is horrible. If I suffer from weakened bones when I'm 30 years old I will gladly trade that for a better quality of life and less pain in the meantime. I hope to hear within a month whether my insurance co. will approve me. I have been going through the classes and losing my required 8% since January. Best wishes everyone Chrystine

Hi Lucky, I live in the States but I have to tell you, the success rate here for the Lap Band is abysmally LOW and many hospitals won't bother doing it anymore. I want the gastric bypass only; don't want the sleeve because most people only lose about 50% of the weight they need to lose. The success rate 5 years out after the lapband is less than 1%. The program I am going through has a very high success rate overall because it has a lot of pre-op requirements. One of them is attending info sessions and classes. There is only one Lap Band person I have met in the classes who has lost weight and kept it off. She did lose over 100 lbs 7 years ago. In my behavior change classes there were a couple lapband's converting to sleeve or by-pass. They wouldn't be doing that if the band worked. So, it may not be your first choice but if you are serious about losing the weight and you have a large amount to lose, it is probably the best option. I know I want to lose 100 lbs (I am about 215 right now) and if I'm having surgery, I want to lose all I need to. Best wishes, hope it all goes well for you! Chrystine

I am retired Army and have a Tricare HMO. I know the hospital accepts the HMO (Martin's Point) but Martin's Point won't tell me whether they will cover me. They will only say "it has to be medically necessary." I started with a BMI of 43, GERD, high cholesterol, bad knees and back. I had to pay for the nutritionist, and six weeks of life style classes and loose 8% of my body weight to meet with the surgeon (1 lb to go!). I am going to be highly annoyed if I have gone to the expense and Martin's Point says "no". The surgeon I want said he's had no problem with Martin's Point though. I do know my PCP at the VA is 100% supportive and if need be, I will try to go through them. They don't use a Bariatric Center of Excellence though, which is important to me. Hoping for the best!

I am really sorry that you're being treated like this. I think this is a problem overall with nutritionists and dieticians - the contempt they have for the overweight. The last time I saw one the food plan she put me on was so insanely restrictive and she was so condescending it was more harmful than helpful. I hope my nutritionist that I see at the end of Jan for the procedure is better. Doesn't you NUT have a plan for you or have you not got that far? You will find everyone on here has a different eatingI plan and time frame. First 2 weeks post I could only have Protein shakes, yogurt and cream of chicken soup, along with clear liquids...sf swiss miss with a scoop of unflavored protein was my daily go to drink After 2 weeks I could only add egg, cottage cheese and ricotta....I made a baked ricotta every day..yum! At week 4 I could have moist meats, I dont have to puree any of my food just has to be really moist...I use my crock pot for chicken and turkey, can have any flaky fish and soy products, no beef I stay on this stage for 4 weeks Because I eat so little I make one thing and eat it for couple days. I just had all my bloodwork done for surgery today and a urine analysis, I've met with the nutritionist several times and she honestly just looks at me like I'm disgusting, she hardly says a word and didn't even want to see my food journal they required me to keep for the past 6 or so months. Unfortunately I have kaiser insurance and she's the only one in the bariatric department in my area. I've asked her about post op foods and she said i will get that information in my pre surgery conference where they will have me try shakes

Congrats! When did your journey begin?

Hi everyone, I think it's interesting that so many people have trouble with the Protein shakes. I like Myoplex low carb Protein Shakes. They have about 20g protein, 0 sugar and I think 5 carbs. No problem getting them down; if I wasn't eating the Doritos and Cookies along with them because I am hungry all the time I probably wouldn't need the surgery. Are there special shakes that people have to drink after surgery? Thanks Chrystine

WOW! 34 lbs - that is wonderful! Congrats!

Sannell, Hope all went well for you!! Can't wait until I get to make this same post! Best wishes for quick recovery, Chrystine

Congrats! My deductible starts October 1st so with my luck I'll get approved October 2nd - lol

I think everyone has made great points. I don't want to be redundant but I will mention something I didn't see mentioned. You touched upon excessive drinking on your husband's part. You might want to go to an Al-Anon meeting. I know a lot of people find these type of meetings "cultish" but some find some good info and perspective. Just my perspective as an woman who grew up with an alcoholic mother, not drinking at home and "cutting back" doesn't always solve the problem. Just a thought. I completely agree though #1 - make no major changes this close to post op #2 - end your marriage only if it is completely irrepairable, not for someone else #3 - definitely give an honest shot before walking away - that means no contact or as little as possible with the other man

Hi Candace, I am curious why you chose Elliot over a different facility. I am going to use CMC in Manchester. I am somewhat limited though. My insurance will only allow me to use a "Bariatric Center of Excellence". I don't know if Elliot is, but CMC is. I could try to go through the VA but they would send me to Dartmouth-Hitchcock in Lebanon and I really don't like that idea. Just wondering if Elliot might be an option. At CMC the whole process for gastric bypass takes about a year from orientation to surgery. Thanks, Chrystine

Hi, The surgeon you consult should be able to recommend the best procedure. The Obesity Center I am working with doesn't recommend the LapBand for anyone but they will do it if someone really wants it. One of their concerns is no one really knows how it will hold it 20 years from now and there have been a fair number of problems with slippage. I know for me, I wasn't crazy about the idea of the Lap Band and my insurance wouldn't cover it. I also have terrible GERD/Acid Reflux. Gastric bypass eliminates that in most people so I am eager to try to eliminate that problem. I have had this issue for years, even as a very thin child. I haven't had the procedure yet but researched surgical centers thoroughly. If a surgeon does not go over all the options in detail and explain the pros and cons, I would look for another center. Best wishes, Chrystine

I think it might be harder for women who have been heavy all their adult life. I am 46 and although I have been extremely overweight for the past eight years, varying degrees of obese and heavy for the past 10, I had many years where I didn't have a weight problem at all. I know that I am a lot older than the last time I was thin and things will never be as firm as they once were, lol but I think I might be able to have a more realistic idea of what to expect. I am not trying to be critical; I understand. If someone has always been overweight and then starts wearing a size 8, she isn't going to recognize herself in that body type. It's completely understandable that it will take adjustment. When I finally was able to get my teeth fixed, as much as it's been a blessing, I still have to remind myself it's okay to smile. For so many years I wouldn't smile widely or let my teeth show because of missing teeth. I'm thrilled to have a nice smile but 8 months later I am still getting used to it. I think fat hides our actual body shape I'm still not sure what shape I am and i have 43 pounds to go

I would not say that there is something wrong with you or him. Things are changing - you and him are changing. However change can be a good thing. Change allows us to grow, and learn about ourselves. Change does not always have to mean negative things. It sounds to me like you and hubby need to have a long talk. He has feelings and you have feelings and a good marriage is based off good communication.I am much like you I have so much energy after the surgery. I want to go out and enjoy things and my hubby is a home body. He has always been a home body. This is where our communication is key. We come to compromises that benefit both of us. As for the sex again I think your two need to have a long talk about it. We all go through periods in our marriages where sex takes a back seat. Right or wrong it is not always a priority. However I read I a book a long time ago - women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel love. It is the basic chemistry of the two sexes. For us sex makes us feel closer and connected. Maybe your husband just needs that connection, and maybe you do to without knowing it. This surgery opens up so much to us. Many of us feel like we get back to who we truly are. We must remember that as we are changing we must communicate our feelings, wants, and desires to our partners. Many marriages fail after rny and a I truly believe it is because if communication issues. My marriage has gotten stronger, but we have worked at it and we talk all the time. Before the surgery we talked and have continued it. I hope this helps and I wish you could luck.

Make sure you know where your surgeon stands and/or the center its self. The Obesity Treatment Center I am going to said at orientation all patients must be nicotine free for six months prior to surgery.

Every weight loss surgery center might be different but the one I am using said they won't operate on anyone who doesn't test nicotine free for six months. Smoking can seriously interfere with healing. I know a man who ended up having a leg amputated after a bad auto accident because he wouldn't stop smoking when he wasn't healing properly. My husband quit smoking in 2003 - he still chews the gum though. Of course, if the center is going to test for nicotine the gum or patch won't help. One of best friends was a very heavy smoker for over 20 years and the highest dose of Zyban helped her quit.

Building up your lower half isn't hard. Do lunges, leg presses. Any exercise that is designed to "tone" a butt and thighs will also build muscle there as well.

I am pre-op but this is my experience when I lost weight previously after having my daughter. I have always been bottom heavy. At 5 1.5 inches and 120lbs, I was called "fat" because any extra weight I carried was in my butt. I had scrawny shoulders, no bust, no belly. When I delivered my daughter, I was about 185. Losing the baby weight was a struggle, took about 18 months. I never lost it all but got down to 130. What I did do was a lot of upper body Nautilis as well as leg work. I still had strong legs and a big butt but by building up my shoulders and chest muscles, I was more proportioned. I was wearing an 8 then. I'd love to get to about 120 post op but I'll be thrilled if I hit 130 again; I have lost a half an inch due to herniated discs.

I think this post is ironic because I don't know anyone who discusses their mental health treatment in casual conversation (I for one do not) and I certainly don't plan on discussing my WLS in casual conversation. I am sure some people will ask once I start losing large amounts of weights. If asked directly I won't lie, If asked point blank I will say yes and change the subject, but I don't feel it's my personal mission to educate people any more than I feel it's my personal mission to lead people to therapy, ECT or any other kind of mental health treatment. If someone whom I really care about and I think trusts me asks me a question, I will give an honest opinion/experience - otherwise, why bother? Most people are only going to believe what they want to believe.

HI Emma, Welcome to NH. I moved here from MA, but from the South Shore in 1999. I have just started the journey towards gastric bypass myself. Chrystine