Comfy_Blue

If you got men's health to run your exact post as it is, men would become over 90% of all new bariatric patients.

Jenelle, first off *BIG HUG* People think they know about WLS, but they have NO idea what we go through. Bariatric surgery is so hush-hush that I think some people's nastiness comes from a place of ignorance moreso than them just being jerks. I speak from experience because prior to my best friend having the lap band, I felt the exact same way. I thought WLS was for the lazy and/or the extremely obese (like 500+lbs). Change is scary, painful and scary. I'm sure when people first started wearing glasses and then contacts, there were many naysayers like, "Why are you altering the eyes God gave you? You should just be grateful you can see." True, you should be grateful you can see, but why not be able to see better. I'm a Christian and my idea of faith healing is that God blesses the hands of doctors and allows us to create technology to better ourselves. I don't get people who are like, "Be happy with God gave you, and yet they use cars (instead of walking everywhere with the legs God gave them), get vaccinations/use medication (why not just depend on the immune system God gave you?), own a washer and dryer (why not use the hands God gave you for washing and the sun God gave us for drying them) etc. Sounds hypocritical and ridiculous right? Well so does being obnoxious to you because you're having WLS. I feel God wants us to be healthier and happy. Carrying excess weight makes it hard to be both those things. You're bettering yourself the best way you know how. Some people, even well-meaning ones, are going to have a problem with that and you know what? It's that THEIR problem, not yours. You're doing the right thing. I send you love, prayer, and best wishes.

I absolutely agree with everything 1Day said. It definitely is easier post-opt and I think it's because we walk through the coals during pre-opt. This is also training you for once you've had the procedure how to be different and not give in to temptation. Even though I (mostly) eat healthy, it's still hard for me when I'm around my most closest, most comfy friends post-opt and they're downing slices of pizza, ice cream, Cookies, chips with onion dip, etc. I feel weak and want to gorge, so I try to draw on the strength I discovered during pre-opt. Every time I resist, I feel like the next time it gets easier to resist. It's definitely good to start looking the "demon" as 1Day put it square in the face and begin to fight it now.

Like Seela I was blessed with an extremely supportive husband. We emptied the fridge of everything except Protein shakes and filled the cabinets with clear broth throwing away all the Cookies, chips and other things. My husband ate dinner every night in his car and when he snacked he would go into another room and close the door. There were a few times when he ate dinner in another room, but even then he would bring the food in tucked in his brefcase of gym bag and immediately go into the study and shut the door.

I understand your pain. At the beginning of each school year our P comes around and takes a picture of each grade level team to post in the front of the building. I was always the biggest person in the picture. I am wearing a too tight sz 18 jeans and a 1X shirt that showcases all my rolls. My team however are probably a sz 2, sz 6 and sz 12. I used to avoid looking at that picture from shame. As the pounds began to drop off, I found myself walking by thd dreaded picture at least 1 - 3 times a week. It's still a little hard (and scary) to look at because I remember the shame, but I also feel good when I see how far I've come. On days when I feel like I haven't lost enough/still look chunky/am having a stall, I look at or think about that picture and it makes me feel better. The same for heavy facebook pics of me.

It sounds like you may have a pinched nerve (I have sciatica* and when I first got it, my leg would sometimes tingle and/or feel numb). I agree with christian though...you need to talk to a doctor asap. I've never heard of gastric sleeve causing hip numbness. I have heard of it causing some pain as if your hipbones are digging into the mattress when layinf certain ways because of less padding(aka fat).

I agree with everything the above posters said, so I won't repeat their sentiments. I'll instead address the part about binge eating and suffering. I'm almost 30 and remember binge eating as far back as 3rd grade (so what's that, 8?) This time last year a normal day for me looked like this: Breakfast #1: 8oz five pump vanilla lattee and Danish from Starbucks Breakfast #2: French Toast/Cereal/Sausage bisquit (they provide free breakfast for teachers and students at my school) Lunch: a Big Eat sandwich from 7 - 11 with a 20oz cherry coke and big bag of cool ranch doritos (plus a snickers if I felt like treating myself), Snack #1: Bag of skittles Snack #2: 2 double cheeseburgers, large fry and Powerade OR Applebee's/Red Lobster with mom Dinner: Chipotle or pizza with husband (I'd lie and say I hadn't already eaten since he got home after me) Snack #3: Share a pint of chunky monkey with husband or eat some by myself Snack #4: Munch on a couple Cookies (I used to order 2 dozen of these awesome lemon cranberry cookies and would go through the entire thing within 3 - 4 days) I remember eating two burrito bowls from Chipotle in one sitting then hiding the remnants of the second bowl so my husband wouldn't see them both in the trashcan. I remember throwing away a bag of Utz white cheddar popcorn determined not to eat anymore,then going back in the trashcan and pulling it out and finishing the bag I remember the rush I would get when I could be alone so I could shovel random food in my mouth without anyone seeing me (a couple slices of cheese, a few bites of pepperoni, several spoonfuls of ice cream, a glazed donut, a big cup of milk, half a bag of chips, etc) I felt just like you. After each binge, I would tell myself never again and to hold on to that feeling of pain and shame from a binge so I wouldn't do it again. But I did keep doing it over and over until I went from 150lbs to 245lbs in ten years. I became resigned that I would never change. My weight was up and down, then back up. Weight watchers, phentermine, starving myself, working out 3 hours a day, Medifast, Slim Fast, Atkins, none of it worked for me. The sleeve has been a Godsend. That sounds dramatic but there was no way I could have overcome 20+ years of conditioning myself to pack in so much food on my own. The sleeve felt like it rewound the clock to my stomach back before I began to abuse it with my endless binging. It's still hard sometimes, but it's gotten easier. You're doing the right thing to work on the mental aspect and to come on this forum.

That's wonderful! I hear that the more weight you lose the easier the surgery. I don't know if that's true or not, but it makes sense to me that less fat is always a good thing. Keep up the great work and make sure you're getting your mind in the right place. For me my mind has been the biggest obstacle, but I'm slowly and steadily working on it.

In the beginning it was really hard for me to fight the head hunger. I was in the puree phase of my diet when my grandfather died and I unexpectedly had to fly 10 hours away in the dead of winter to be with my family. I spent about five days at grandma's house and the stress made me want to emotional eat, plus Grandma was cooking and people kept bringing over tons of food to express their sympathy. I would shovel down food, then have to excuse myself because my chest was tight and burning and I'd lay over in the bed in agony. It would feel like there was food stuck in my chest and at the back of my throat. After 20 minutes or so, it'd go away and I'd go back in the kitchen and have myself another cookie, or piece of chicken until the pain came back. When I got home I had gained about 5lbs. I can't shovel down food like I used to, but I'd say at least once or twice a week I would forget and take too big of a bite or eat too fast, then that pain would come back. It was hard because I am an emotional eater and I would have all these underlying issues but not be able to soothe myself with food. I confess that I once wanted the greasiest Chinese take out so bad but I was on full liquid phase and I actually started crying in my car because I couldn't have it. Now I'm about 3 months out and I have a lot less head hunger. When I feel overwhelmed I am more likely to journal, talk to a friend or do something else. The only times recently I have had issues with overstuffing was when we had friends over for a game night. There was SO MUCH FOOD. Everyone brought a dish, plus we had four pizzas and this big, warm cookie that could feed 8 people. I kept eating all night and while I ate little bits so I wouldn't feel the pain as much, it did hurt some. I think it's important to go to counseling even if you're not crazy (ha ha) or some kind of support group to help offset the lost of our former selves and overeating habits.

Consider it a rite of passage. That being said, I had to do 10 days BUT I actually started 12 days out because the first day I ended up locking myself in the bathroom and sitting on the floor eating an entire can of Katydid (for those not from this area, they're basically chocolate turtles with caramel and nuts inside). After that I was able to stick to the liquids. Are you only allowed Clear Liquids or can you have more creamy broths? I found that the chicken cubes that dissolve worked really well for me. I loved the saltiness. I also found beef broth to be very satisfying. Funny thing is now, I can't touch any kind of broth because of the trauma from being able to have nothing but for days! Can you eat sugar free popsicles? Another thing I did that was torture but also helpful was I made a pintrest page and pinned recipes for each stage of my post opt diet. It was fun looking for recipes and I still eat a lot of the stuff that I pinned to my mushies and solid food board. It made it easier when I would get to each stage to have several recipes ready to go. Try to take heart and know that it'll past and soon you will be sleeved and looking and feeling amazing. Plus you are basically resetting your body. I feel like if I had gone from my old eating habits straight into the sleeve I would have carried those bad habits with me post opt. However, the clear liquid, full liquid, soft foods, then solids stages reminded me a lot of being a baby. You start out with the most basic nourishment and by the time you get back to mushies and solids your brain feels rewired to eat healthier foods (at least for me). Prior to surgery, I could down 2 double cheeseburgers, a large fry and blue Powerade. Now that stuff doesn't appeal to me. I get more excited over teriyaki chicken (my low call version) over quinoa with diced tomatoes and zucchini than big greasy burgers and buffets. Though I will confess that lemon flavored baked goods are my weakness, so I avoid lemon bars, cupcakes, and regular cake (except for last Sunday. I had the most AMAZING lemon cupcake with cookie crumbles in the icing. lol)

That's awesome Sandee! I've lost 60lbs but I still don't much like how I look naked. However in clothes I absolutely love how much smaller my stomach is. Thankfully my boobs haven't deflated (much) so right now I look super top heavy and trim on the bottom. Love it!!!

I think because he grew up with his dad he is intimidated and/or has accepted that his dad being a jerk is a part of life. Granted, husband has told me before that his dad's comments do hurt his feelings and he hates when his dad berates him for minor past mistakes. I met my husband's sister before I met their dad and when I asked sister (who is really sweet, outgoing, and a cool chick) what their dad was like she described him in such a positive light I thought I would love him. Then when I actually met him he was the exact opposite. (SIL said he was the strong, silent type most of the year but when he gets around family for the holidays, he lets his hair down, laughs, chats, smiles and is in great spirits. HA HA, the jokes was apparently on me.) I'm not sure I would feel comfortable talking to my FIL because aside from the wedding, I've only seen my FIL twice (they live far away and while my mother in law is great and wanted to get to know me, FIL wasn't very interested. He didn't even speak to my parents at the wedding. Only MIL and my husband's grandparents were social with my parents.) If he starts acting like his usual douchy self I guess excusing myself is the best option because having lost weight is making me more confident and I am finding that my tolerance for BS has gone down, especially when it comes to my husband. I'm not and doubt I will ever be a nasty person, but it makes me angry when anyone bullies another (because I have been bullied many times) especially someone I love so much,

Edit: Sorry again for the mix up. It looks like one of the admin may have deleted my duplicate post, which stinks because this is the one i wanted deleted. It's okay though, I can repost the gist of what I had written. The last time my in-laws saw me, I was 245lbs and squeezed into a sz 22 wedding dress. Now I'm 180lbs and wearing a loose sz 12. Husband and I are supposed to be taking a trip to see his parents in July. I am concerned that my FIL is going to use my weight loss as a means to put my husband down. FIL is an ass and likes to belittle my husband and his siblings. I can imagine him saying something stupid like "Looks like you found all the weight your wife lost" or "Guess your cushy office job doesn't pay enough for both of ya'll to eat". Keep in mind my husband is about 317lbs (which is an accomplishment because he was up to 340lbs at one point, but has been working so hard). I'm sure if he were to mention that, his dad would say "well you're still fat! what size shirt do you wear? 3X or are you in 4's now?" or something obnoxious. I'm not sure how to handle the comments that I'm sure will come from FIL. Has anyone experienced this and/or has advice?

I never experienced the infamous 3 week stall (by which I mean my weight stopped dropping around week 3 after the operation) but I did have a quasi-stall that lasted about 2 and a half weeks. My weight basically stayed between 184 - 185lbs. I was really worried. As I posted in another thread, I feel this was because I stopped following the 30/30. I started taking a swig or two of milk right after eating a meal or snack OR I'd have a few swigs of milk, then immediately eat a meal or snack. My rationale was "I won't eat as much because there's already a little something in my stomach". Yeah...about that...my weight remained a steady 184/185. Finally on Saturday night I decided to get back on the 30/30. Today is Wednesday and my weight is 180 lbs. (I weight every morning and every night, so I could actually see my weight starting to go down from that one change)

I hate it too, but am always trying to find a way around it because I LOVED drinking with my food (I've always been the girl who refills her cup 2 - 3 times during a meal). Anyhow, when I eat lunch, I try to have a piece of fruit (clementines are my favorite because they are super juicy) and I eat it with my meal so I feel like I'm getting some fluids in. I also eat a lot more Soups and chili then I used to because of the liquid. I think not drinking while eating helps us to make better food choices because my food vices were anything super sweet/salty/spicy. Once I was sleeved and I realized I couldn't wash those tastes/sensations out of my mouth with milk, Powerade, soda, juice, etc, then I started to lose my desire for them. A couple weeks ago, I got fed up with the 30/30 and started drinking a few big gulps of milk immediately before and/or after eating. Prior to that, I had been losing 2 - 3 lbs a week for three months. Suddenly, I was stuck at 184 - 185lbs. Saturday night(March 30), I decided to go back to my strict 30/30. When I got on the scale Monday, I was at 182.6 lbs. Tuesday, 181.3. Wednesday morning (and a few minutes ago when I weighed) I am at 180.4 lbs. So anyway, yes, it does suck, but it's worth it.

Thank you for this article When I speak to people about missing my 250lb body sometimes I immediately am met with a barrage of ''but you look/feel better'' and all the reasons it's great to have lost weight. but sometimes the fat was a comfort. I am a naturally shy person, so my fat helped make me invisible. Now I stand out more. For instance a man at work w-ho barely used to say anything to me, now makes a point to stop by my classroom each day and make conversation. when we talk in a group I notice he mainly looks at me and pays attention to whatever I say, when he used to seem to be in a hurry to end our conversations. It makes me feel self conscious and a little sadr that he's that supericial. Women definately see you as more of a rival. I also sometimes miss connecting to other women about extra poundage. when i complain it's like ''shut up. you're skinny''

Maxi skirts have become my best friend. They're stylish and have an elastic waist so I am able to wear them for a long time. I also wear mid length and shorter skirtswhen out with friends. I just prefer the maxi ones for work. As for tops, I do a lot of bargain shopping when I go down a size. Target was selling solid colored t-shirts for $5 a pop, so I bought a bunch of those which I wear with my skirts. Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and Belk also are inexpensive. I don't go to the thrift store because we had had a big epidemic of bed bugs in this area and I don't want to risk bringing them into our home. As for pants, I usually just buy 1 pair of jeans in my new size because I know within a few weeks they won't fit anymore so it'd be a waste to get several pair for work like I used to. If you have told someone you trust and they happen to be smaller than you (like my mom) you can ask them to put aside clothing for you that they normally would throw/give away. When I got down to a sz 16, then sz 14, I got a lot of hand me downs from my mother. Luckily she's fairly stylish so I didn't look like a dork (lol)

Hi Naya, I won't lie and say it's been easy. The majority of the time, I'm okay, but there are those times that I miss my old frienemy and we have a little reunion. I was a bit depressed this week because I caught a really bad cold. I know that sounds silly, but understand that prior to my procedure, I used to catch 1 -2 colds a month (I'm a first grade teacher) because all I ever ate was fast food. Now, I'm eating a lot of fruits, veggies and my immune system has become much stronger. I haven't been sick in 3.5 months. Then, outta nowhere I'm knocked on my ass by a severe cold. I had to take off Thursday and Friday due to my illness, and Wednesday night into Thursday I found myself emotional eating because I was so bummed about my cold. Granted I wasn't eating large portions, but for my sleeve it was a lot because I normally eat 3 meals a day and 2 Snacks. The food was a comfort but it also made my belly hurt and I actually pooped Thurs and Fri which is rare for me because eating so little food, I usually poop every other day or every third day. Anyhow, on Friday morning I weighed myself and saw my weight had gone up from 182.5 to 183.2. It may have just been a coincidence, but that helped me to reign it back in. People say you shouldn't weigh yourself daily, but I do because it helps make me accountable and when I start to emotional eat, I think about my numbers going up on the scale. I also want to watch my weight. When I gained 100lbs I barely ever got on the scale, nor did I pay much attention to how my clothes fit. I'd tell myself I was just "bloated" that day or the sz 12 jeans were cut wrong which is why I needed a sz 14(then 16, 18, 20 and almost a 22)

OMG i am the exact same way. I went to the store with my mom and i immediately started looking at the large and extra large sizes before heading over to Women's (basically the plus size section). I think my mom has dymorphia issues in regards to my body because she found a cute shirt that was a loose large (seemed more like a 1x) and insisted it would fit me. It was cute so I bought it. I tried it on at home and my husband was like "yeah baby, that looks too big on you. Maybe you should see if you can find it in a medium?" When i returned a medium shirt to another store (not because it didnt fit but i didnt like the color) mom was like "that shirt looks teeny. You should get it in a large" i just kinda laughed to myself. Edit: One day I was feeling especially vulnerable a e a little nostalgic for the days i could comfort myself with food, so i actually out on my old sz 18 jeans and XL shirt(both of which used to be too tight) and it made me feel safe. I like being smaller, love it even, but there is that rare occasion I miss the fat

Hey Everyone Thank you for all the kind, well thought out responses. I'm sorrry to be so late replying, but after nearly 3 months of feeling awesome, I got knocked on my a$$ by a cold. Thank god for the camera, because without it, I would be completely convinced I look about the same. It's so funny because it was easy for me to believe that it was really me when I'd take pictures of myself in my heavier days and I looked fat. However, when I take pictures now (with the same picture nonetheless) and look thin I'm like, "It's an illusion/the angle/the lighting/I just happen to have my body positioned perfectly". Damn you body dysmorphia!

I'm sorry. I clicked send twice and double posted

I'm sorry. I clicked send twice and double posted

Has anyone else experienced looking smaller on camera than in the mirror? I've lost almost 60lbs, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I look "average" sized and don't see much of a difference. However, if I see a photo of myself, I am always shocked because I look so much thinner than my mirror reflection. Example: Yesterday I was looking at myself in a full length mirror in the dressing room and while I was thrilled to be in a size 12 jeans, I thought I looked about the same. I decided to snap a picture to commemorate the occasion, then when I looked at it I was shocked at how small I looked. I thought it was just that angle, so I took several more and kept looking at the mirror and the camera trying to figure out which was real. The same thing happened last weekend. My husband and I were out eating lunch and he asked to take my picture (we were sitting so it was from the waist up). I was like, "Ugh, no!" and hid my face, but he kept begging me, so I let him snap a few. When he handed me the camera, again I was taken back that I looked so small. I kept looking at it over and over trying to comprehend the image. When I went to use the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and again, I didn't look nearly as small as the picture.

Has anyone else experienced looking smaller on camera than in the mirror? I've lost almost 60lbs, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I look "average" sized and don't see much of a difference. However, if I see a photo of myself, I am always shocked because I look so much thinner than my mirror reflection. Example: Yesterday I was looking at myself in a full length mirror in the dressing room and while I was thrilled to be in a size 12 jeans, I thought I looked about the same. I decided to snap a picture to commemorate the occasion, then when I looked at it I was shocked at how small I looked. I thought it was just that angle, so I took several more and kept looking at the mirror and the camera trying to figure out which was real. The same thing happened last weekend. My husband and I were out eating lunch and he asked to take my picture (we were sitting so it was from the waist up). I was like, "Ugh, no!" and hid my face, but he kept begging me, so I let him snap a few. When he handed me the camera, again I was taken back that I looked so small. I kept looking at it over and over trying to comprehend the image. When I went to use the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror and again, I didn't look nearly as small as the picture.

If it was as easy as "just dieting" and "eat less, exercise more" t there would be no fat people. Telling an overweight person to just exercise more and eat less is like telling an alcoholic to "just drink less" or a drug addict to "just dope up less". With drugs and alcohol, you can abstain from them to help keep your addiction in check. food isn't like that. With food you have to eat it in order to live. So life as a food addict (which is why/how I gained so much weight) is like being an alcoholic or drug addict who has to drink/take drugs 3 times a day to sustain life. Anyway don't listen to people like that. You do what works for you. For some people, dieting/eating better works well. For others, it doesn't. Take my friend and I. She went to college, became a Vegan and lost 60lbs and has kept most of it off for the last 10 years. I went to the same college and tried every diet there was (weight watchers, slim fast, starving myself, Lemonade Diet, working out 3 hrs a day while taking Phentermine, etc) and I ended up packing on 100 lbs in the last 10 years. Based off my own experience, I feel most overweight/obese people are that size due in part to genetics, but a lot of it is unresolved issues and we're using food to help us cope. Also overeating is as American as apple pie. Most of our holidays, milestones and comfort are food-centered (Christmas, birthdays, funerals, family get together, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, etc) so many of us come to equate food with love and community.