My Pre Op Diet started yesterday.

Today, I had an awful day at work. As the night progressed, things went from bad to worse. My small meal started as a turkey sandwich on low cal bread and ended with me eating a half of a large pizza and picking the cheese and toppings off the other half. Now, I feel dirty and gross. I feel like a crack addict for food.

I've been working on issues for 6 months. I know I'm ready for surgery. I hate this feeling after a binge. I've been suffering with this for twenty years.

Does this ever get better? Am I fooling myself by believing surgery can help?

Look... don't feel bad. I too had trouble staying on the liquid diet and gave myself an off day or two on it.... I wished that i had been more strict with the diet for sure. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia after surgery and wonder sometimes if I'd been 100% compliant with the two week Protein drink fast that the out come would have been better. Please try to stick with it as much as possible so you can have the best possible outcome from the surgery. Listen after surgery I didn't even want to think about food and you won't either. I have lost all my bad cravings now and feel in control of my eating for once in my life. You won't be physically able to overeat bellieve me! I eat 1/4 to 1/2 cup of food and I'm full.... Yes there is hope for you and surgery definitey helps...... just get back on track now and forget your mistake......

You have to get the mental stuff straight or the surgery will not work. The first few months may be fine...I didn't want to eat anything at first. But even 3 short months out I'm getting my appetite back and if you read anything from the long-timers, you will see it gets harder as the 1st and 2nd year go by. Anyone can "eat around" their sleeve (or band or bypass), If you don't find a way to deal with your food issues, you will go right back to the old habits and gain any weight you may lose initially. Sorry to be harsh, but this is the harsh reality. 10% surgical, 90% mental. Are you seeing a therapist or going to a support group?

Edited April 2, 201412 yr by Kindle

I agree with everything the above posters said, so I won't repeat their sentiments. I'll instead address the part about binge eating and suffering. I'm almost 30 and remember binge eating as far back as 3rd grade (so what's that, 8?)

This time last year a normal day for me looked like this:

Breakfast #1: 8oz five pump vanilla lattee and Danish from Starbucks

Breakfast #2: French Toast/Cereal/Sausage bisquit (they provide free breakfast for teachers and students at my school)

Lunch: a Big Eat sandwich from 7 - 11 with a 20oz cherry coke and big bag of cool ranch doritos (plus a snickers if I felt like treating myself),

Snack #1: Bag of skittles

Snack #2: 2 double cheeseburgers, large fry and Powerade OR Applebee's/Red Lobster with mom

Dinner: Chipotle or pizza with husband (I'd lie and say I hadn't already eaten since he got home after me)

Snack #3: Share a pint of chunky monkey with husband or eat some by myself

Snack #4: Munch on a couple Cookies (I used to order 2 dozen of these awesome lemon cranberry cookies and would go through the entire thing within 3 - 4 days)

I remember eating two burrito bowls from Chipotle in one sitting then hiding the remnants of the second bowl so my husband wouldn't see them both in the trashcan. I remember throwing away a bag of Utz white cheddar popcorn determined not to eat anymore,then going back in the trashcan and pulling it out and finishing the bag I remember the rush I would get when I could be alone so I could shovel random food in my mouth without anyone seeing me (a couple slices of cheese, a few bites of pepperoni, several spoonfuls of ice cream, a glazed donut, a big cup of milk, half a bag of chips, etc)

I felt just like you. After each binge, I would tell myself never again and to hold on to that feeling of pain and shame from a binge so I wouldn't do it again. But I did keep doing it over and over until I went from 150lbs to 245lbs in ten years. I became resigned that I would never change.

My weight was up and down, then back up. Weight watchers, phentermine, starving myself, working out 3 hours a day, Medifast, Slim Fast, Atkins, none of it worked for me.

The sleeve has been a Godsend. That sounds dramatic but there was no way I could have overcome 20+ years of conditioning myself to pack in so much food on my own. The sleeve felt like it rewound the clock to my stomach back before I began to abuse it with my endless binging. It's still hard sometimes, but it's gotten easier. You're doing the right thing to work on the mental aspect and to come on this forum.

Edited April 3, 201412 yr by Comfy_Blue

Thank you all so much for your support. Today has been much better. I was able to drink my shakes and eat a small meal without freaking out.

Thank you!

I'm in the honeymoon stage. So I don't really have accurate perspective. But yes, it does get better in the early weeks. Desire for food and cravings are there, but much easier to manage. So much of this is mental. But I will say that I feel HOPE-FILLED. And that a good feeling. I feel stronger and more capable. You do have to change the negative messages that go through your head. You have to really be objective about food. You have to be honest. But it is the most doable thing I've ever done in regards to weight loss. Don't be discouraged. You'll have more bad days but you just might see the world differently when you retrain your brain and stomach. Of course, I'm in the honeymoon phase so it's easy for me to feel that way. Still, the thoughts of going BACK to eating the way I did is a miserable thought (objectively). I minimally miss food. I miss pizza but I'm stronger than that.

I agree with everything the above posters said, so I won't repeat their sentiments. I'll instead address the part about binge eating and suffering. I'm almost 30 and remember binge eating as far back as 3rd grade (so what's that, 8?)

This time last year a normal day for me looked like this:

Breakfast #1: 8oz five pump vanilla lattee and Danish from Starbucks

Breakfast #2: French Toast/Cereal/Sausage bisquit (they provide free breakfast for teachers and students at my school)

Lunch: a Big Eat sandwich from 7 - 11 with a 20oz cherry coke and big bag of cool ranch doritos (plus a snickers if I felt like treating myself),

Snack #1: Bag of skittles

Snack #2: 2 double cheeseburgers, large fry and Powerade OR Applebee's/Red Lobster with mom

Dinner: Chipotle or pizza with husband (I'd lie and say I hadn't already eaten since he got home after me)

Snack #3: Share a pint of chunky monkey with husband or eat some by myself

Snack #4: Munch on a couple Cookies (I used to order 2 dozen of these awesome lemon cranberry cookies and would go through the entire thing within 3 - 4 days)

I remember eating two burrito bowls from Chipotle in one sitting then hiding the remnants of the second bowl so my husband wouldn't see them both in the trashcan. I remember throwing away a bag of Utz white cheddar popcorn determined not to eat anymore,then going back in the trashcan and pulling it out and finishing the bag I remember the rush I would get when I could be alone so I could shovel random food in my mouth without anyone seeing me (a couple slices of cheese, a few bites of pepperoni, several spoonfuls of ice cream, a glazed donut, a big cup of milk, half a bag of chips, etc)

I felt just like you. After each binge, I would tell myself never again and to hold on to that feeling of pain and shame from a binge so I wouldn't do it again. But I did keep doing it over and over until I went from 150lbs to 245lbs in ten years. I became resigned that I would never change.

My weight was up and down, then back up. Weight watchers, phentermine, starving myself, working out 3 hours a day, Medifast, Slim Fast, Atkins, none of it worked for me.

The sleeve has been a Godsend. That sounds dramatic but there was no way I could have overcome 20+ years of conditioning myself to pack in so much food on my own. The sleeve felt like it rewound the clock to my stomach back before I began to abuse it with my endless binging. It's still hard sometimes, but it's gotten easier. You're doing the right thing to work on the mental aspect and to come on this forum.

Wow, thanks for posting this. Everything you wrote describes binge eating/ good addiction so accurately. I'm going to be sleeved in six days so seeing this just confirms to me that this surgery will change my life! Congrats on battling your demons, I know how hard it is.