Comfy_Blue

At the beginning of the school year, they always take pictures of each grade level team and hang the pictures in the front of the building so that when parents and students arrive on the first day, they know what we all look like. I remember I turned to the side and sucked everything in thinking I had successfully tricked the camera into me looking slim. WELL...when the pictures were posted a couple days later, I was mortified. I looked (for lack of better words) like a sausage stuffed in a casing 3 sizes too small. My eyes were sunken into my fat and even though I'm wearing a relatively loose shirt, you can see EACH AND EVERY roll clearly through the fabric. My upper arms are thick and meatly and my entire forearm is so fat that my bracelet's don't fall down to the bottom of my wrist, but sit comfortable held up by fat three inches from the start of my hand. For the first time I saw myself as the rest of the world did...FAT. And it hurt. Everyday from Sept - October, I had to look at that picture of myself each time I came into the building. On Oct. 31, I couldn't take it anymore and made an appointment to attend a WLS open house. And the rest, is history. :-)

Yup, I know exactly what you mean. Sex was difficult for me because whenever I'd get on top, within a couple minutes my knees would be killing me (I guess the pressure of my weight combined with having sore knees already from hailing around so much weight during the day) I also am happier being sexual because I have less smelly crevices(I know, TMI!) but while I obviously don't always smell like a rose, I find that my genitals, arm pits and my body in general just doesn't get as stinky as they used to. My feet also smell better. I think I'm not sweating as much because it's easier to move around.

So I was contacted by a principal from a different school for an interview at his school and as I've been weighing the pros and cons of leaving my current job, one pro that came up is that if I transferred to a different school none of my new co-workers would have been "there" during my weight loss transformation, so I wouldn't have people commenting/asking questions/drawing attention to my size anymore. To my new co-workers, I'd just be a naturally trim person, not a former fat person, so there'd be nothing to "see" and oogle. Then I started thinking about as I meet new people in my life, do I plan to reveal or talk about my former self, or will I "pass" as if I'm just a healthy person who watches what she eats and exercises 3 times a week? What do you all do? I feel like as time goes on and the "newness" of being thin wears off, I will probably tell less and less people about when I was obese because I'll feel so far removed from that person.

Even though it's more fun to see the scale drop, I prefer to lose inches because then your clothes get looser and you look/feel smaller. At the beginning of my journey (I'm almost 6 months post opt) I was frustrated because I watched my weight go from 245, to 220, to 215 and I was still wearing the same sized clothes. Granted, the clothes did feel a teensy, tiny bit looser, but it was such a teensy, tiny difference that I wasn't sure if I was loosing weight or if the clothes just feel looser b/c i'd worn them and as with all clothes, they stretch a little as you move around in them. I didn't get down to a sz 16 jeans (was in an 18/20) until I was about 205lbs. At 198lbs I was able to squeeze into a size 14, but it was tight. Now I'm about 163 lbs and in a sz 10, which is GREAT but I was wearing a sz 10 when I was 176 lbs. I really want to wear a single digit (like an 8 or 6) because the last time I was able to wear that size I was probably like 12 or 13 (I'm 30 now). I would prefer to lose inches AND the number to go down on the scale. Maybe you should measure yourself daily with a tape measurer the way I get on the scale daily then you'll be able to keep track of your progress. I also kept ''too tight'' clothes and would periodically try them on and be tickled when they'd start to feel a teeny bit loose, then loose, then baggy, then falling off me.

Thank you all for the supportive remarks and for sharing your thoughts/personal experiences. I agree that even though others make me feel like my weight loss is my most defining trait (moreso than my gender, race, religion, etc), I am so much more. Personally I'm tired of talking about it with anyone who isn't a close friend or family member (or my BP fam of course). If it comes up or someone sees a picture of me (like my wedding photo) then I guess I'll mention it. I'm curious: do you feel embarassed of old pictures? I don't at this point.

THANK YOU so much ladies because I know my doctor said that I should wait to start trying two years from now, but I'm already 30. I don't want to WAIT until 32 because I know most people don't get pregnant right away. Plus my mother had fertility issues and she was 32 when she had me so...yeah.

Yesterday I did one of the most grueling workouts I've ever done (Couch to 5K ) and while I could feel that I was moist/damp on my back, groin and arm pits, I wasn't drenched like my husband or other people at the gym. It can't be that I didn't really push myself because today the tops and front of my legs are very sore (not like a pulled muscle, but sore like I had an intense workout), plus the muscles in both sides of my waist feel a little sore. I was talking to my co-worker who works out like a champ and she was telling me that she sweats so much at the gym that she feels embarrassed. I was like, "Everyone sweats" and she goes, "Oh no, it POURS off me like buckets. I look and feel so gross after because all my hair is soaked." When I used to go to aerobics with my Mom, she'd be sweating so hard she'd constantly have to wipe with a towel. Even though she weighs more than me, Mom is in way better physical shape because she's 60 years old and is able to go up and down stairs without getting winded, she carries the other end of couches up and down stairs, and at the gym she does reps with 20 lb weights, whereas I can barely do 5 lbs. It it normal for some people to just not sweat as hard as others when working out or does it mean that I need to drink more water/push harder? The closest I even came to sweat profusely was back in college. I had a lot of time on my hands, so I used to go to the gym for 2 - 3 hours a day and I'd max out the elliptical (it only goes up to 9999 calories burned, and I'd use the machine so long, it'd flip back over to 0 and start working it's way back up to 9,999) and even then I was pretty wet, but not drenched to the point that sweat was running down my face and dripping off me.

Thanks LSP. I'm not planning to get pregnant yet, but sometimes things happen. I'm not using birth control because I don't like the side effects and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I get pregnant earlier than expected, especially if it's before the 18 month mark my surgeon gave me. I want to have children but don't want to gain all my weight back. Thank you for making that possiblity a lot less scary. If anyone else has an opinion/experience please chime in!

It wasn't until I was about 35 lbs down that people started to notice me losing weight. (I started at 245 lbs) and even then they weren't really sure. The few people who said anything were like, *quiet, uncertain voice* "So, um, hey...have you lost a little weight?" I think sometimes people see it but they're not 100% sure how to say it. Another time, probably when I was down closer to 40 lbs and standing with a group of co-workers, another teacher walked by and commented on my weight. Immediately there was kind of a sign of relief amongst the group and they all said they noticed too but they felt weird saying something. I know you won't believe me or want to hear this (because when I freshly post-opted I would've been annoyed by this comment) but try to enjoy this time because soon you'll be at the point that you've lost so much weight that EVERYONE will notice and won't shut up about it. When you're still in the earlier stages of weight loss, it sounds like "good problems" and at first I didn't mind the extra attention, but after awhile it can get very annoying. Take for instance today, I was having a conversation about my student's progress in reading, when the Reading Specialist suddenly goes, "So how'd you lose so much weight? Are you taking something?" Instantly I had to hide my irritation because I was thinking, "WTH?! How about you focus on what we can do to help the struggling readers in my class instead of my waist size?" I've also had a few people yell down the hall, "HEY SKINNY!" and "You better be careful, you get any skinnier you're gonna blow away!" and things like that. Some days you feel like playing around and being silly, and others it's kinda like, "ARGH, I'm just here at work minding my business and not at all in the mood to mess around, so SHUT UP ALREADY!" But I feel like i have to play back because if I show my true annoyance it'll be like, "Oh, so now that you're skinny you think you're too good for us?" *sigh*

One of my coworkers is a crazy runner, like 7 miles a day. She loves to run and says this time last year she never ran, but started it by using an app in het phone called Couch to 5K. She said running strengthened her core and helped her reduce a tremendous amount if belly fat (one of my trouble areas even after losing 76lbs) She recommended it for me since I've always wanted to run, but find it too hard. I did it yesterday with the intent of just "power walking" whenever the app instructed me to run, but found myself actually running for the 60 second intervals and only walking when the app instructed me too. It was great and I was so proud of myself for doing an entire 30minute walk/run session. Has anyone tried it or is doing it now? How'd it go? Did it actually get you to the point where you could run a full 30 minutes? That's the part I'm having a hard time buying. I'm currently doing it in a treadmill because our weather is so weird right now (90 degrees one day, 60 degrees and rainy the next). I plan to do it every other day and will spend the off days doing weight lifting to hopefully muscle away the bat wings.

LOL, isn't that how it always is. Once you stop stressing about it, it's like "SURPRISE! Here I am!"

Whoa, I'm so pleasantly surprised at how many runners and C25k'ers there are on here! I'd never even heard of the app until my co-worker showed it to me on her phone. Yesterday I felt fine, but today the top of my legs hurt and I've got some shin splint action happening. Also the side of belly hurts a little, like the muscles are sore. I guess I'm working new muscle groups that rarely get worked out. I'm going to try and stretch a little before I run tomorrow. I;m hoping that it isn't too rough on my knees, though *knock on wood* ever since I dropped the weight, my knees seem to be hurting a lot less. WOW, that sounds really cool. I'm going to look that one up, though I probably can't do it on a treadmill. Maybe after I finish the C25K, I'll try that one. I plan to actually run outside once I get my stamina up.

I can't speak for you, but maybe something in my own experience/opinion may help you. I believe that I used food to self-medicate. I have anxiety (which manifests itself as me being a worrywart) and the food was a comfort. Also, I've always liked to eat rich, salty and sweet foods and seemed to have a natural born hatred of all things healthy (except fruits). I've always been a picky eater, so my diet didn't have much variety of space to try new, healthier things. I learned in a college health class that binge/overeating activates the same pleasure center as drugs and other deviant behavior in our brains so I believe I ate so much because it released endorphins. However like with drugs, you have to up the ante and do more and more to get the same high, then your body gets used to it, so you keep increasing it until you find yourself eating two burrito bowls from Chipotle, a 20oz Cherry Cokes and half a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream a couple hours later with a lemon-cranberry cookie (or 2 or 3) chaser and a tall glass of milk. In addition to enjoying things that taste good, I like things that feel good in my mouth ("THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" LoL). And most things that felt good to me are high in calories like creamy Soups, cold smooth ice cream, frozen candy bars, crunchy chips with ice cold dip, soft melty Cookies, gooey pizza, etc. The things that felt bad tend to be healthier (ie: I hate how tuna is soft and mushy and when you press it against the roof of your mouth juice gushes out. I don't like how broccolli is always super tough or super mushy when I bite into it.I used to hate tomatoes because they're all gushy inside and there's weird seeds. I don't like most kinds of fish because sometimes you can feel bones in the meat and I hate having to fish around in my mouth to retrieve the bones that remind me so much of sewing needles while my mouth is full of food). Edit: I also think I got so fat because I used to eat FAST, like a dog. I would try to out-eat my fullness. So I'd gobble everything down so I could get in as much as possible before the fullness would kick in. Then I'd feel all gross and like I needed to vomit

I can honestly say I am happier sleeved. Prior to the surgery, my weight was fluctuating between 238 - 245 lbs and I remember at one point I got on the scale and was a cool 250 lbs. I was deeply depressed and afraid that pretty soon I'd be hitting the big 300. I tried to either slide out of the picture or be the one behind the camera whenever someone wanted to snap a shot. The few pictures of me, I'm wearing dark clothes with my stomach sucked in trying to shrink into myself. I lived in fear that I would run into my ex-fiance and he'd see how fat I was and be like, "Yup, glad I dodged the bullet with that one". I felt embarassed for people who hadn't seen me in a few years to see me because each year I was going up at least 10 - 15 lbs. I stopped wanting to be intimate with my husband because whenever I got on top, within a few minutes my knees would hurt so badly. In fact my knees hurt almost all the time from supporting my weight. I sweated a lot, had obstructive sleep apnea, started getting really bad, painful acne that left dark scars all over my face, painful infrequent periods, elevated blood pressure and I was pre-diabetic. I was 29 years old. I turned 30 a couple days ago and while losing 76 lbs didn't make my life perfect, it remedied all of the above issues and has given me the confidence and motivation to work on bettering myself even further. I've started graduate school finally and signed up for a course to help me complete my novel. I love shopping for STYLE now, rather than just size. I'm not afraid of bumping into my ex or anyone anymore (in fact one of my other exes saw my facebook picture and made a point to text me and say I looked amazing and he was so proud of me). Sex is A LOT better. I'm proud of myself and even though i do have rough days (sometimes I'm sad that I let myself get so large) I would say all in all, if I had it to do again, I would get sleeved in a heart beat. It gave me my life back.

I agree with LSP about talking to your gyno and possibly considering birth control. (Personally I don't like BC because it makes me dry down there and lowers my libido from medium to zlich, but everyone's body is different) I was sleeved in December and didn't start having regular periods until around April, so what's that, like 4 months? Prior to becoming morbidly obese, my periods were fickle. For instance, sometimes it'd be 28 days between, sometimes as much as 40 days. When I was under stress, I could miss my period for months. Like when I was 17, I did a study abroad for three months and though I was a virgin (so no chance of pregnancy) I didn't have a period the entire time. As soon as I got home, my period came on the next day.

Hi Fred, I think you're very brave to come back to BP and admit a very personal part of your struggle. I think we're all lucky that this is the type of website where people aren't holier than thou and won't flank you for making a mistake. I feel the first step in correcting a wrong is acknowledging it, which you've done by posting, so check! The next step is finding a support network because maintaining my weight is the hardest thing I've ever done, so check! Now all that's left is evaluating where you went wrong and what you're going to do to make it right. I know you can do it. I'm hardly an expert nor a veteran, but there's plenty of both on here that can help you out with getting back on track.

Aw, this is why income on here so often. I love all the humor, support and compassion. I think making peace with my past will set me free, but I'm still getting there. I think saying that I lost a small person or making up a ridiculous number like 5lbs or 250lbs might be a jokey way to dodge the question from friendly curiousity,

After my wedding to an abusive man was cancelled three days before it was set to happen, I spent the next five years desperate for love. I tried meeting guys in person, plus I did speed dating,Yahoo Personals, EHarmony, and Match.com (twice). I met my husband on Match two years ago. My experience with online dating is yes, full of rejection. Of all the sites, eHarmony was the worse because there were 5 phases you had to go through before you could do open communication (email back and forth freely) and I used to get to phase 3,4 and sometimes 5 with a guy, then I'd never hear from the guy again or he'd close communication without an explanation. I was 190lbs at the time (not skinny, but not fat either) but it made me feel so ugly and unwanted. I got really sad and stopped using the site. It was the same with Match that first time, but think my lack of success there was because eHarmony gave me a complex and i was bitter. I can't remember what all it said, but I was pretty bitter, sarcastic and EXTREMELY specific of the guy I wanted and not open minded. My heart was broken from my last break up and being rejected from eHarmony. I gave up online dating for two years, during which time i got in a relationship with a nice enough guy (but not the right guy), tried to get back with my ex, broke up with nice enough guy, and speed dated and went to bars with my single, bitter friend. Then I decided to give Match one more try. I went in not expecting to meet anyone special, but to get more practice interacting with men since I'm so shy. I think because I went into Match the second time with a positive attitude and not much expectation to meet "the One" I had a lot more success. My profile was short and light hearted and even though I was between 220 - 225lbs, i got a lot of winks and maybe 5 - 7 messages a week. There were still quite a few duds and about 3 weeks in, I got a message from a guy who kind of pissed me off because i had stated in my criteria that I was looking for a man between the ages of 27 - 40 and this guy was only 25 (i was 28 and didn't want an immature young guy or some guy to think because I was older than him I should be Godly thankful for his time and be his sugar mama) The old me would've written him off, but i decided to at least look at his profile. I liked what I saw, so I messaged him back. He said he was turning 26 in a month, which, still felt too young, but he was interesting to talk to, so we kept chatting. That guy became my best friend and then husband. EDIT: maybe we can start a single and looking section on here. Even though i love my husband, if we weren't together i think i would have liked to date another WLS guy because they'd be Ble to understand what i'm going through.

Good luck and blessings! I know you're scared/excited/nervous but it's going to be fine. When I had mine done the hardest part was waiting (i was bored and anxious to get started even with my husband and mom to talk to). Once they were ready for me, I remember the nurse putting something in my I.V. To help me relax. Then they rolled me into the operating room. I felt fine. The last thing I remember was the nurse patting my hand and saying "okay we need you to place your arms here so they're out of the way while the doctor works". I nodded and watched as she moved my arms. Literally the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery all warm and snuggly (and sleepy!.) i imagine that's what a newborn feels like. Lol

I was wearing a size 20/22W (and squeezing into a tight sz 18). I'm not sure of my dress size but I am currently in a sz 10 jeans and for elastic skirts a medium and for regular button skirts, a sz 10/12. In a perfect world where I don't have tons of loose skin (which may happen if i get any smaller) i would want to be a sz 6 or at the very smallest a sz 4. I have never been a size 6 or 4. Even in middle and high school I was an 8 or 10. I am 5'7 but not very toned, so I still have a belly and curves.