want_so_bad

Name..............Current.....Goal......Lost.....

Babs0101...........185.........170.......0.......

FloridaGirl........235.........215.......0.......

HeatherO...........172.........155.......0.......

Lunabeane..........221.........200.......0.......

Luu2008............219.........189.......0.......

luvinke............206.........190.......0.......

NANAbanded.........225.........199.......0.......

Ollie..............242.........210.......0.......

Renewedhope........179.........155.......0.......

slgandera..........185.........173.......0.......

StartingOver.......220.........205.......0.......

want_so_bad.............170..............155............0..........

i have posted a few times about how my boobs are shrinking. but for the love of all that is good in this freakin world, i am now a flippin A cup. yes, that is right, i said A cup. wth? i just cant believe this! an A. an A! an A! sob, sob, hiccup, sob...

it was bad enough just knowing the girls were gone. but actually KNOWING now, it just really sucks. before i could just kid myself into thinking they werent that small.

and i still have 25 lbs to go! what will they be then? omg omg omg!

for the first time since, well, ever, my weight now is BELOW what my license says! hurray! how great is that?

it expires in january so i will just wait until then to get it corrected.

had my third fill the 18th. i had been scared because it was my first time under fluoro and well, i was just scared. it had been since decemeber that i had a fill and to be honest, i had needed one for probably a month or two.

so...everything went great! got the port the first stick, all my previous fill as there. the fluoro went great. doc said everything looked perfect! band was sitting perfect, my pouch looked great (not stretched like i had this horrible fear of. in fact, the assistant said it is one of the smallest she has seen. go me...happy dance....go me....lol)

i only got a small fill, .2cc. that first day and then the day after i thought maybe it wasnt enough, but today i feel more restriction. maybe its just going to take it a few days to take. i am so excited to get back on track and get these last 20 something pounds off!

gain the weight back? are you mad man? i dont believe that to be an option! lol... but i like the whole just see what happens idea.

i am almost in some sort of panic about what shoud i eat before wednesday that i know i wont be able to with proper restriction again. i , have become lax in my eating habits. not horrid, but not like i should be, not like i was. i cheat enough that i am maintaining, no gaining. good bye to these days, GOOD RIDDENS!

i am finding some excitement now about this fill!

i am 25 lbs from goal and it scares me so much! i have always been the chubby one, then the fat one... what will i do with myself when i am "normal" sized?

this fear has kept me from getting the fill i have needed for the past several months. i have maintained at my current weight now for months. this is the weight i was in high school. although my body looked much different at this weight then...dang kids!

i have scheduled and canceled and rescheduled my fill a few times now. it is set for wed the 18. not too far away. i am keeping it this time. does this mean maybe i am ready now? i dont know. i am really scared and nervous for this fill, which will be my 3rd.

anyone else experience this? any ideas on ways to deal?

thanks

i can only get in fluids until 11 or 12 and then i start to loosen up. that is just how my restriction is. it bothered me at first but i have learned that is just how MY band works. its different for everyone.

my 3rd fill is next wednesday. and i am scared to death! how stupid is that? my others fill have been fine, no problems or anything. i dont know why i am so anxious/nervous/scared about this one. i have even canceled it and rescheduled it a few times. this fill will be done w/ fluoro. maybe that is why i am nervous. i havent had it done that way since the day after surgery in october. i havent had a fill since december. it makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it! whats wrong with me? i dont think there are any problems. i have been stuck for a long time without losing anything. i know i have really needed this fill for months now. ugh... i hope everything goes good. i mean, why woudnt it?

sorry, just kinda thinking outloud here. i thought maybe if i wrote it out i would feel better...yeah, that not working...

when the slime you produce is "totally wicked gross" according to your 8 and 9 year old boys. (who also think we should try to sell it in those machines outside the grocery store. you know, the ones you put a quarter or two in).

boys, gotta love them!

so our 8 month mark is up (or about there). how is everyone doing?

i have been at the same weight now for months. i have a fill scheduled for next wed. i think that will get the ball rolling again.

i am loving my progress though. i have so much more energy. i am more active outside with my kids, playing, walking, doing yardwork. i love riding my horse again! well, love it more.... i dont feel as sloppy riding. i know i still bounce in places i shouldnt, but it is better! and i love that.

i really want to get this last 25 off by the end of summer so i can begin my countdown for the Tummy Tuck and breast lift/augmentation. even having lost 40lbs so far, i have only went down 1 size pants because of my nasty fat apron belly. its gross, makes me cry and i cant wait to be rid of the thing!

hope everyone is doing great.

i am so getting the girls done! lifted and implants. as of right now, with 40lbs gone, i basically have a flap of skin with nipples! its so sad. and gross. i hate it. i really lost all of my boobs. but i just keep tellin myself that i will get them back! and they will look great! keeps me from getting depressed, lol...

i weigh 3 times a day. twice in the morning. i get up, pee, strip down, weigh. step off scale, turn on shower, get back on scale. then again at night before bed. i have issues, yes i know. i couldnt weigh when we went to vegas in april and i was having serious issues with it! first bathroom we stopped in on the drive home that had a scale i jumped right on it! it used to drive me crazy as well, the flucuations, but now i know that i will weigh 3-4lbs different am to pm and i gain anywhere up to 5lbs during that time of the month.

i am on cymbalta. i find that if i dont take it (forget a day or something) i am STARVING. it has been a great appetite supressor for me. i had a few side effects when i started taking it but they are all gone now. sometimes it takes some extra effort to orgasm, other times it doesnt. that was my biggest complaint, but even its getting better, thank goodness, lol.

i know you said you moved the rock already but i was reading an article that says if you put down layers of newspaper that the weeds/grass cant grow through it. dont know if it works, but thought i would through that out there.

i dont envy you at all! i have boys that are 8 and 9 and even though they get into the "normal" type kid trouble, some of the stuff they tell me about the kids at school, can we just say, omg? where are the parents?

but i have to say, your whole "i grew up in that town, and the kids do start drinking and doing other things parents dont like to think about young because there is nothing else to do (population of about 2000, with most of them being elderly)" is bull! i grew up and live in a small rural town. there are things to do, you just have to do them. find things for the kids to do. i keep my boys busy to instill in them that there ARE better things to do with your time then to get into trouble. i want them to be involved in as much as possible at this age so they will already be involved when they are older and the trouble is more of a possibility. i know you were just saying that is how the town was/is, it just bothers me when i hear that. especially growing up in a small town! i dont mean to come down on you if thats what it seems like. hell, i even used that saying when i was a teen...we went to the party because there was nothing else to do...bull-phooey. it just happens to be what we choose to do!

i hope you get things figured out that work for your daughters time away!

yes, toradol works nicely too. the last time i was in the er i was asking the nurses to just shoot me. they thought it was funny, but i was so serious! at the time anyways. i always get it the same side of my head, behind my left eye. sometimes i think that if i were so use a screwdriver and push it through my ear, it would help. oh my, desperate times!

i drink lots of Water (now), but i think she was onto something with the being dehydrated because of the Migraine. i know when i have one, i dont eat or drink anything. i agree with you, the pain takes so much out of me! even into the next day, i am sore all over and just feel icky, even without a headache. sometimes i get a little "normal" headache the day after, but they say that is probably because of the drugs.

ok, i am still curious. where does he give you the injections? not like in his office, where on you will you get them? into what area?

your description of relpax is just what i experience too! and i dont take it unless i can be at home also. trying to work with a Migraine is utter hell! every time the phone rings, or i have to get up from my desk and walk...ugh! not to mention the lights... me and percocet dont mix well. sometimes loritab helps take the edge off if i cant leave work. but it also ups the nausea, so its a trade off. my all time favorite (haha, wink wink) would have to be the shots of morphine at the emergency room. we have a new doctor at our local er (very small rural town) and she is great. never before have they started an iv to rehydrate me (she says that its typical to be dehydrated, from the vomitting--something i had never given a thought too---and it will make the headache worse) and then the little magic syringe of relief! of course i am out like a light and that way for the rest of the day and night, but sweet relief! i hate when they get that bad. i have had that kind of migraine twice since being banded.

this is going to sound so stupid, but where do you get the botox injections?

best of luck!

i had Migraines before being banded and still have them. i say normally mine are hormone related and come with my period. but occassionaly i get them at other times. they have never been food related. i can eat or not eat any of the triggers and it has no effect.

i have tried many different Migraine medicines. maxalt-that disolved in my mouth. it worked a little, took the edge off anyways. imitrex, pill form, nasal spray, and injector pen. they all worked for a time, but seem to lose effectiveness. now i use relpax when one hits. it is working for now. the side effects suck, i get this heavy feeling in my arms and chest for about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes and sometimes get sleepy, sometimes not. i also feel very out of it. like i cant think. but like i said, that only lasts for a time. thank goodness.

at times, since being banded, it does seem they are worse. but that must be explained by the previous post about estrogen being released and such.

sorry this wasnt helpful for you.

only a few people know that i had surgery. my husband, my mom, my sisters and brother, my dad, and 2 very good friends. i didnt want to deal with the questions and being watched every second. i get that enough from my husband! he means well.... but its hard to listen to his comments sometimes. one of the friends is super supportive. she had gastric bypass a little over a year ago, so we share our experiences. its great. the other friend that knows, she is supportive as well, but... well, first she freaked because i was going to Mexico for surgery. "OMG, havent you watched dateline?" but overall she has been perty good about it. as for my family that knows. they are great. sometimes my mom forgets and asks if i want this or that and then she feels bad when i tell her i cant/dont want it.

i think its just a personal choice. you have to do what you feel is best for you. if you dont tell anyone at first, and then decide you want to share, thats great. thats kinda what i figured. if i decide i want to tell someone, then i have the option. but if i tell and then regret it, well, i cant take that back.

well, i figured out my icky-ness yesterday. i hadnt pooped in a few days! after doing that last night i felt so much better. and i feel so much better today. i have noticed that i go longer between bm's now, is that the case for anyone else? i cant believe i am sharing this....lol.

i just finished eating my lunch and now i feel huge and gross! what is wrong with me? i ate 1/4 of a chicken strip, maybe 1/4 cup coleslaw and then 1/2 cup mashed potatos. i feel like i ate a ton! this is not my usual lunch and now i just feel icky.

i think i need a fill. i find myself able to eat more and hungrier then in the past. i have one scheduled for june 11, but i think i am going to see if i can move that up. i fear what i will do to my weight loss if i wait that long.

my ability to eat more came on pretty quickly. is that normal for needing a fill? this will be my third fill. the first fill basically didnt do anything. so when i got the second fill it wasnt because i suddenly needed it, i just needed it to reach restriction. does that make sense? what are the symptoms of a slipped band? would it/could it be that? or is there pain associated with it? sorry, just kinda thinking outloud here.

aghhh, i feel stuffed. i havent felt like this for SO LONG! how icky it is.

I love, love, love Top Chef, I've watched it since the beginning. I have to say, I'm not as impressed with the chef's this season, but it still rocks.

totally off topic, sorry, but i agree. i love top chef. i think the first season's chef's were the best so far.

Question for you...did you always take anti depressants or did you get them prescribed after getting banded...

i was taking it before i got banded. but i stopped when i got the band because it is a slow release so i couldnt crush it or anything. i was having a hard time (lots of family issues w/ stepson) and HAD to start taking something. i didnt like the others i tried and then my fill doctor told me that there shouldnt be a problem w/ the one i was on before. he said if i pb'ed it up, then there was a problem. and i never have had a problem. i take it at night because my band is always really tight in the am.

angel--i get that icky icky feeling too! thats what made me remember that i hadnt taken it! but it doesnt sound like i get as bad as you. i get grumpy and dizzy and just dont feel right, if that makes sense.

i had a total HOLY COW BATMAN moment last night. i think i have figured out what part of my problem is when i have days where i am just "starving". i think those may be days that i forget to take my antidepressant. no joke. i realized last night as i took it that i had forgotten to for a few days. and today, NOT HUNGRY! what a good incentive for me to remember to take them...well, besides you know, they keep me sane! anyone else notice this/experience this?

hurray for me. i thought i was losing my mind! not to mention that i was freakin worried that i was gonna gain back a bunch of weight!

why do i still have times i completely tank it? and then i have guilt and remorse and beat myself up. i dont know whats wrong with me!

last night i had a horrible night! got stuck on some chicken, hurt like hell, pb'ed and slimed for what seemed like hours. so, what do i do when i feel better? gee, i am hungry so i try eating something else. which gets stuck. pb and slime all over again. i know i am super tight because it is about that time of the month. so why do i do this to myself? when i woke up w/ the baby i ate a little bit of Cereal, which finally went down. but that was at like 2 in the morning! and i dont even think i was really hungry!, i was more tired then anything! why the hell did i eat?

and that was just the topping on a bad choice filled day! i had a few chips at work that were sitting there for a birthday party. i have been doing good passing on that stuff. i keep healthy Snacks in my desk and in the fridge for such occasions. a few to start, and then a few later...well hello stupid, a few here and there adds up! i know even with what i did eat, i still didnt eat what i would have eight months ago. so why am i beating myself up? why do i feel so guilty?

i dont even know what the point of my post is. i am not seeking some back patting its ok. its not that. i know i screwed up. i know i need to just continue on my way and make better choices today and tomorrow....

i just wonder why i tank it like this occassionaly.